A/N: This is a short one-shot and a tribute to Madge, the girl that's getting ruthlessly cut out of the upcoming hunger games movie.
A Tribute To Madge
At first there's a deathly silence, and then I hear it. The mockingjay. I know it's only part of my imagination, twisted dreams part of a twisted mind, but I find life somehow in the little gold pin clasped to my reaping day dress. As if, as if it's something... important.
I shake the thought from my head, I can't afford to think sentimental feelings like that, useless gibberish when one thing comes across loud and clear in my mind - the reaping. Reaping day, I know I both can't and won't be picked. One tesserae for one girl against thousands and thousands of other entries. I have the same chance of being reaped as Prim, Katniss ensured that. Yet somehow the thought just disturbs me rather than consoles and dislodges my heart from my senses. I find a painless beating throbbing about my body as if my whole form were one throbbing organ. Prim, something tells me neither of us are safe. Despite the facade set up for us both to convince ourselves that we are.
I clasp the gold pin again, wavering at my front door just as Katniss and Gale left me. Unsure of what to do, somehow helpless and alone, left undefended. Alone. Afraid almost. Although I am not going through any physical pain everything hurts. More of a mental barrier having been clamped around my head, making me unable to say anything I want than the true stabbing labour a full day's work in district twelve can provide or the pangs of hunger that is so common in our district. Then again, what would I know about it? In fact if there's nothing that needs saying it's just simpler if I don't end up saying anything. It saves me a whole lot of trouble really, not meant in just the effort of speaking. It goes a whole lot deeper than that.
I don't think Katniss is afraid to speak her mind, I really don't. And in that way I admire her. In fact, in many ways I admire her. I can't help watching her and wishing and wishing I could be more like her, mould myself to become identical to her. But even if I could manage that I'd only be a mere clone. She's independent, brave, solitary and most of all loyal. She doesn't mind speaking her mind, whatever other people might think. I'm not like her in that respect. I'm not like her at all, the more I think about it. Maybe I'm just not cut out for being someone that, that, that…
Maybe I'm just not cut out for being Katniss; but that doesn't mean I have to be cut out at all.