I know that author's notes can be pretty annoying so I am going to keep this brief.
This story is a sequel to a story I wrote (and actually finished) a few years ago titled "Pieces." If you have not read it you are going to be pretty confused, just so you know. I am not known for updating regularly (see: all my unfinished stories) but I am pretty dedicated to completing this one. I'll do my best to update once every week or two, work permitting.
Besides that the only thing I have to add is your standard 'I do not own these characters or places' disclaimer. I hope you enjoy this story if you decide to read it.
Thanks, Kirux
Chapter One
I remember when the whiskey use to burn on the way down. I don't remember how many months ago that was though? One? Six? Twelve? I lost count somewhere along the way, just like I've already lost count on what number shot this is tonight. Third? Fourth? How full was the bottle when I even started? It didn't matter seeing as how it was empty now. I threw it toward the trash can and apparently missed because seconds later the distinct sound of glass shattering almost elicited an apologetic grunt from me.
"I think you've had about enough for tonight, Leonhart," the bartender walked up and took my glass from me.
"...Maybe," I slurred back at him. I felt him staring at me. His sympathy burned through me, just like every night these past one to twelve months.
"I'll get one of the guys to walk you home, just stay there." He tossed his towel onto the counter and I laid my head onto it. It was mildly damp and cool, and the colour was a soft tan. I stared at it blankly. After awhile I heard a the faint mumbles of "Yeah again...still every night...only 1 bottle this time...guess it keeps me in business but...yeah usual seat...thanks."
There were two sets of footsteps on his way back, and then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw two emerald eyes staring down at me. I used to feel bad when I saw the disappointment and sadness in those eyes. I used to miss the days when those eyes looked at me with love instead of mild disgust. How long has it been since I cared about that? How long has it been since I cared about anything? I didn't resist as Seifer pulled me onto my feet, keeping me steady with his arm wrapped around my waist.
"Thanks...sorry," I heard him mumble to the bartender. I don't know why he kept apologising. It was just going to keep happening, just like it has been ever since that night.
The walk back home was silent, long gone were the days of his begging me to stop, even his yelling had stopped. I used to apologise and promise that tonight would be the last night. I would plead with him to stay when he would threaten to leave. I could vaguely remember the day when I finally told him to go ahead and leave. I cringed a little remembering the look on his face...the tears down his cheek.
And Seifer had left. I couldn't blame him. I would leave me, too. I'm not quite sure how long he was gone. I didn't leave bed much during that time. When he came back he asked me if I had missed him. I think I did, but I couldn't remember. He asked me if he still meant anything to me. I was pretty sure he did, but I couldn't say for certain. All of the emotions kind of blended together these days. It's like everything turned into one emotion. I don't think I mind it. At least things are consistent. I don't get angry at things anymore, nothing really scares me or offends me. It's kind of nice really.
We suddenly stopped and I heard Seifer rustling around for his keys. I guess he found them because the next thing I knew I was laying on my bed staring at the wall. I heard him tell me goodnight and the door shut, then he leaned against it with a thud and slid down it. Maybe he thought I was already passed out because he didn't even try to stifle his sobs tonight. Seifer Almasy, redeemed sorceress' knight, was sitting against my door crying his broken heart out and I, Squall Leonhart, fallen hero of the Second Sorceress' War, laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. I raised my hand in front of my face. To this day I could still see the blood spatter on it. I made a fist and closed my eyes.
I could hear the echoing ring of Lionheart firing then the slump of a body hitting the cold cement rooftop. I looked around in my mind and saw the pool of red gathering underneath the soon to be corpse.
"It's not your fault..." whispered the voice of a dying man. A man I had once called friend.
It was like the feeling of his cold lifeless body draped in my arms had wrapped itself around my heart.
"It's not your fault..." the voice bounced around inside my head.
But it was my fault. Everything that happened was because of me. My actions made that night play out the way that it did. I caused the death of two people, just like I was causing the pain of the man outside my door. Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently? At what moment did the path split? I drifted off into another night of fitful sleep, hoping maybe tonight was the night I would save him instead of watching Irvine die again.
Time is consistent; ever ebbing and flowing as the water on the shores of our lives.
I could hear the ocean as it splashed against the rocky shore. I never used to like the sound of it. To me it was just noisy, but lately I've grown to like it. I would lay on the beach and listen to the tide come in and out. It was relaxing, especially with my bestest friends right beside me. I looked to my left and emerald eyes smiled back at me. I grinned and squeezed the blonde's hand with mine. I looked to my right and blues eyes sparkling with mischief stared back. I took the brunette's hand and gave it a squeeze, too. I never want this to end. I always want them here with me.
Time is capricious; what happened once does not always happen again.
I paced back and forth in the headmaster's office. Where the hell was Cid? He said to meet him here at exactly seventeen hundred hours. That was twenty minutes ago. It was times like these that I wish the old man had just given the position of Headmaster to me. I was still pissed that all Cid had meant by leading my fellow students was to lead them as general would his troops. The Second Sorceress' War was officially over and I was still little more then your run of the mill SeeD cadet. True, I was the highest ranking SeeD in Balamb and I could basically do whatever I wanted, but what Cid wants me to do is just insult to injury.
"Squall! So sorry I'm late! I had a few last minute matters I had to clear up," Cid rushed in, waving a hand to one of the chairs as he plopped down into his own, "Please take a seat."
"Headmaster, I am going to put this frankly. I am not going to do it." I stood in front of his desk and slammed my hands down onto it.
"I have a feeling that that wasn't in response to the seat..."
"What? Of course it isn't!" I glared at him. "I meant about assigning me to instruct the upperclassmen. This IS what this is all about isn't it?"
"Actually it isn't," Cid leaned back in his chair and started to rummage around in one of his drawers, "however; I would ask you to reconsider on that. It's a very reasonable proposition. You exceed on all the requirements needed to be an instructor; bravery, battle experience, fighting prowess, excellent compatibility with your Guardians, and everyone respects you. No one else in this establishment could possibly teach these kids like you could."
"No." I stated firmly, staring directly at him with the coldest stare I could muster.
"I cannot even..Aha!" he pulled a piece of paper triumphantly from one of his folders and started reading it, "What was a I saying? Oh yes," he put the paper down and stared back up at me. "I cannot even fathom why you are so adamantly against this."
"Because..." I adverted my gaze. It's true I've opened up a lot more than before the war, but sometimes it was still hard to admit my deepest feelings. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. It was because I couldn't fully open up that Rinoa and I weren't 'officially' together anymore. We're doing better though, and I guess if I can admit things to Cid there wouldn't be a reason for me to keep anything from her either. "I don't want to want to end up like Quistis. I don't want to be put on the back shelf."
"Squall, my boy," he stood up and leaned over, putting his hands on shoulders in a firm fatherly way, "Do you really think I'd ever do that to you? You're in a SeeD class all your own. Yes, you'd have to tone down the missions in order to teach your classes, but you deserve the break. I can understand your trepidations, though, so how about we drop this for now. Just promise me you'll think about it okay?"
"Really?" I stared at him. I thought he would be a lot more pushy about the issue.
"Yes, really, now onto the actual reason I called you here" he moved and picked up the document on his desk and handed it to me. "You have been requested for an assignment."
I looked down at the paper and read it carefully:
"Headmaster Kramer;
Hello! It's me, President Loire. I am writing to request that Rank A SeeD cadet Squall Leonhart be sent to Esthar to escort my aides and me to a conference meeting with General Caraway in Deling City. After the conference I would appreciate if he could remain in Esthar for a few weeks to help with the restoration of peace within the city limits. Please have Mister Leonhart report to Esthar palace by twenty hundred hours this Friday.
Thank you in advanced for your assistance;
Laguna Loire"
"So you want me to go help them?" It seemed like a pretty simple task, to be honest. I don't want to say it was beneath me...but it's basically clean up duty. Why did he need me specifically?
"He asked for you by name, and as a very close ally of ours we have no reason to tell him no," Cid gave me a look that implied there was no getting out of this."Unfortunately due to an issue with the mail system I just received this later earlier today. The rendezvous time is in three hours, so you best go get ready."
"Yes, headmaster," I saluted him and turned around, letting the door slam slightly on my way out.
I didn't exactly mind the mission, but I won't lie that it seems below my capabilities. I was the hero of the Second Sorceress War. I near single-handedly defeated Ultimecia. I saved the entire garden, not to mention the entire world, and in return I get to be requested by any dunce that happens to run a country? For nothing more than simple bodyguard duty? The ping of the elevator doors opening snapped me out of my sulking. I decided I should probably find Rinoa and tell her I was going to be away for awhile.
After checking the infirmary, narrowly dodging Selphie in the quad, and glancing into the cafeteria I stopped in front of the dorms. I could probably skip them. I mean if she wasn't there I would just have to come back here anyway. It'd be a waste of time really. I stood there thinking longer than I should have. I should really just move on to the training center...but something told me to check in here instead.
Sometimes all it takes is a single point, an ephemeral moment in time...
I mean, I could save a bit of time later if I packed my bags now. Sounded like a pretty good idea really, that way I wouldn't have to rush trying to find Rinoa because I wasn't prepared. I turned the corner and spent the next fifteen or twenty minutes packing everything I thought I would need. Getting from Balamb to Esthar only took about half an hour in Ragnarok so if I ran out of anything I could always just come back real quick. With that done I made my way to the training center just as Rinoa and Irvine were walking out of it. Irvine seemed to notice me and started waving. I felt overwhelmingly happy to see him, to the point it almost hurt. I didn't quite understand it but I waved back, smiling widely at him, a single tear running down my cheek.
Time is consistent; ever ebbing and flowing as the water on the shores of our lives.
Time is capricious; what happened once does not always happen again.
Sometimes all it takes is a single point, an ephemeral moment in time, for an entire story to unravel and spin itself anew.
