Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
"You know I love you," Severus said, voice heavy with the emotion he was so obviously holding back. Harry nodded his head, already aware of where this conversation was going. If he was honest with himself, he would even admit that he had been expecting this conversation to happen sooner.
"You also know that loving you is no longer enough," Severus continued. Harry nodded his head again, expecting this also. He'd known for a long time that he wasn't the same man that Severus had fallen in love with. That's not to say that who he'd once been wasn't still inside of him, just that he had been pushed back behind the bitter mask that Harry couldn't seem to take off.
"I'm sorry," Harry muttered, meeting Severus' eyes only briefly before looking down at his own hands, which were clasped on his knees like they were the only things keeping him grounded. He'd seen the look in the others eyes: he could tell that the man in front of him didn't believe what he'd said. Of course, Harry didn't blame him. How could he when he wasn't sure he believed it himself? He wasn't sure that he was able to feel emotions like regret anymore, at least not truly feel it.
"I'm not so sure you can be sorry anymore," Severus said, unknowingly voicing the very thing that Harry had been thinking. Harry didn't respond this time, only looking up at his ex-lover through his lashes before quickly looking back down. After all, it wasn't like it was just some untrue claim that he could deny.
The silence stretched on as Severus simply stared at Harry's still form.
"What happened to us? What happened to you?" Severus asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Harry actually felt bad about that, knowing it was someone the man did only when he was feeling truly hurt of insecure.
"I don't know," Harry said slowly. "Post-war issues? I remember building this…wall around me to block everything else out, but when I'd dealt with most of the issues I'd been having, and I tried to bring the wall down, it just… wouldn't budge," Harry almost whispered the last part, but he knew that Severus had heard. Not that he commented on it, choosing instead to quietly stand and gather the bags he had set down next to the door. He obviously intended to take his leave now. Harry didn't blame him.
"Take care, Mr. Potter," Severus said, no emotion at all coming through. Harry flinched at that, the harsh reversion back to his surname. He couldn't help looking up from where he was seated to look at the older man, only to catch him staring him down. Their eyes met for the first time since Severus had shown up on his door step, and Harry's façade immediately dropped to reveal the man that Severus had fallen in love with. The look stayed only long enough for him to get his hopes up before Harry's wall quickly rebuilt itself.
Severus had to hold back a sob at that, knowing that he had been that close to getting his lover back. He wanted to run to the other man and shake him, yell at him to bring back the person he had been three years ago. Bring back the man that had been there before the stupid war ended and he'd had to serve time in Azkaban for reasons that he still didn't understand.
As he hefted the bags he had come back to get from Harry, he looked back at the man one last time. He stepped out of the unnervingly still house, looking back through the doorway the whole time, and as he continued to stare he thought he could almost see the old Harry in the man's eyes, screaming for someone to help.
Don't worry Harry, he thought as he closed the door completely and apparated away. Soon…soon.