I have a thousand and one ideas, so I thought I'd put them up for you guys to enjoy the snippets as well :)
Some of these might get continued or turned into full stories, but they are mostly cluttering my hd~! Most of them are also crossovers or have a fem!harry somewhere... they come and go as my ideas shift, and if you want to adopt and continue them, please let me know! :D
ALERT! They ARE NOT BETA'D nor did I edit them after writing them out, so maybe... grammar mistakes? teehee...?
Need to knows: This is obviously a fem!Harry… AU for Naruverse… Kuroi means Black, they will be speaking in Japanese, but most Japanese words will be translated aside from names and the wordplay in Sirius' surname (Black – Kuroi) – There are no "L" or "V" in Japanese, so they are going to be substituted by their corresponding sounds ("L" to "R" and "V" to "B") – Any English should be in italics… annnndd that's it.. as far as I remember x)
Be a Deer
XxxXxxX
"Hey dad… how did you and mom meet?"
"Tsc… ask your mom, she loves to tell that story"
"…."
"Fine… sit down and pull the board, might as well have a match while we're at it" Father faced son. The father smiled and the son sighed a long suffering gust of breath. Why did he ask again? Oh right, curiosity. Troublesome thing. "It happened two and a half years before the end of the third shinobi war. Your old man was an active jounin and not yet commander. Our intelligence received word of a curious small shop that sold very peculiar products…"
XxxXxxX
"Che… Why do I have to go? They could send a chunnin runner or even a scout. I am more useful here than running errands" A younger Shikaku complained to his squad mates. A blonde, long haired man named Yamanaka Inoichi and a large, sturdy man named Chouza from the Akimichi clan.
Being the more sensible of them, Chouza blinked at Shikaku before staring pointedly at the other jounin's bandaged arm. "You almost lost your arm Shikaku-san… take the time to complete this task and rest your shoulder a little" A warm meaty hand patted on the bandages softly, though still drawing a wince from the Nara man.
"The war will still be here when you come back" Supplied Inoichi helpfully "If it is of any consolation, we're village bound as well. hokage-sama is passing the mantle soon and the successor's ceremony will require the presence of at least a few high ranking officers"
"In the least" Chouza agreed, smirking slightly.
Shikaku glared. He had to resist the urge to cross his arm. His shoulder was smarting horribly without any proficient medic-nin in the front lines to tend to it in time – being treated a week later has made recovery a bit more tricky, but not impossible. Though Shikaku actually understood why he was being called specifically; he was just bitching for the sake of it – his friends and squad mates needed the break if their light smiles and bright eyes were anything to go by.
Shikaku's father was still alive and though he was not physically able anymore – being crippled during one of the past wars – he still had the sharp, cunning mind of any Nara – thus Shikaku could be excused from the council while his friends could not.
"Fine. If this is how things are going to be, then see if I bring any souvenirs" The Deer clan's heir sighed for the umpteenth time. Looking down at the mission scroll and avoiding his squad mates' eyes. It wasn't one of those missions, it was a scouting and recognizance if nothing else – though he's been there when the Hokage made the mission official based on the actual report.
In a crossroads merchant settlement that became a small town over time, was a shop – nothing that would raise alert in any normal case – but apparently some patrolling team made of younglings (recently graduated genins) found this Share-ya and bought a couple of interesting articles.
Joke products.
No one would have taken them seriously if not for what happened a week after the children acquired said items. They were ambushed by raiders, bandits who were profiting from the war by attacking unprotected caravans – Neutralizing the bandits was no problem for trained shinobi, but it was how the resourceful little greenhorns actually did it.
From strange flash bombs that were ruthlessly effective in blinding the enemy, and the enemy only - to itching powder - something called Hug Candy – a gum that when spat practically tripled in size and became a thick, prompt sticky rope to another assortment of random things that proved very useful in the hands of the genin team.
Joke products.
If jokes were this effective in the hands of those kids, imagine the damage one seasoned ninja might do with those in their hand?
Shikaku was given the task to go study the shop and gauge the owners – if possible, secure the owners into Konoha' service or patent their products for his village – If the owners didn't want to compromise, then well… their silence would be more valuable.
XxxXxxX
"Oh dear, you're usurping my rights as his mum to tell the story?"
The father paused in the middle of a Shogi move, stretching his neck to stare at the particularly intimidating figure of his wife. "The kid asked. I couldn't say no when he insisted"
Their son opened his mouth to defend himself, but then again, it was the truth. His mom made everything twice more complicated. "Yeah" He finally settled.
"Very well, I suppose I should pick up where your da left off!" She smiled brightly at both her husband and son. "I was a couple of years older than you are now, my friends and I thought we could take the world with our bare hands at the time (still do!), so what do we do? We invade the Ministry! It was all done to stop a Dark Lord, of course, do you remember the story? Yes? Then let's move on…"
XxxXxxX
She certainly didn't expect that when she bravely (stupidly) threw herself head first through the Veil of Death after her godfather.
At the time, with blood pumping furiously through her veins and adrenalin making every movement last an eternity – all she could see was Sirius Black, haloed by the blast coming from his cousin Bellatrix LeStrange's wand, cantering toward the deadly doorway. The flimsy curtains wisping around like pale hands as if to grab his body in a deathly hug, face crisp and pained in a silent scream that never left his throat.
Iliana's eyes met with her beloved godfather's – the closest and fondest family member she had left. Behind her gaping eyelids, memories of their time together played unbidden. Of his large, protective hand caressing her head after a nightmare (on the nights she's stayed in Grimmald Place) or the way his eyes simply lit up when he spoke of better times. The multiple times they shared hot-cocoa by the fireplace, or the late night conversations – Iliana lobbed on Sirius all the fatherly love she craved, and he gave back in kind.
Her slightly insane, horribly vindictive but well-loved godfather that she'd never see again if she allowed him to go through the veil.
Dainty hands shot out – they were hers. She could see by the terrible manicure, Unbridge scars and bony knuckles – they were her hands and they were making their way toward Sirius. Her legs didn't take long on catching up, and suddenly everything was in motion again.
The room spun, faces passed through her sight range. Friends and foes all blurred into one mad picture framed by Bellatrix's deranged cackles… "I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius Black!" She sang again and again, the sound echoed in Iliana's head and spurring her fraying nerves into action.
Sirius body dived backwards into the Veil almost bonelessly. His quicksilver eyes were already glassy, as if all hope has left him in a single moment. Iliana was darting forward. She'd reach him in time – she would, hadto reach him in time. Hands extended, it seemed as if they were both floating in an endless second in which everything was frozen in expectant climax.
Cold, numb fingers grasped instinctively at her own scarred hand. Sirius' eyes flickered momentarily, before horror enveloped his face – Iliana's belly flip-flopped, her hand tightened around her godfather's when she felt he was about to let go. They would fall together into obliviousness.
"No! Lana! Iliana let go!" Remus' voice came like a thunder hammer. Cutting and sending a jolt through her bones. But it was too late. Just as Sirius was disappearing into the Veil of Death, Iliana was nose-diving into it right after him.
XxxXxxX
"Kuroi Shiriusu?" A polite male voice rang through their shop. Iliana, who was still quite sleepy, lazily raised her head from the pool of drool on the counter.
A tall, dark haired man was staring pointedly at her. 'How embarrassing!' He had tanned skin, with deep black pools for eyes and piercings on both his ears. His hair was pulled back in a high ponytail away from his angular face and he wore a jounin flak jacket, but there was no headband to be seen. He was quite handsome to boost, doubling Iliana's chagrin at being caught napping.
Giving him a sheepish grin, Iliana straightened on her terribly comfortable chair and stood, assuming her supposed position at the cashier. If Sirius saw her, he'd be on her case about propriety. As if he could judge. Her godfather was most likely still hung-over in their flat. "He's indisposed at the moment. My name is Kuroi Iriana, Shiriusu's daughter, may I help you?"
The man kept his polite mien but was eyeing her speculatively. That's when the young woman finally caught the glint of metal from his upper arm. The swirly symbol was easily recognizable – her visitor was a Konoha shinobi. "Perhaps it is best if I come back later." He finally said, making Iliana wince again… there was no way someone would take her seriously after catching her napping on the job.
'Fair enough, though it is still mortifying…' She thought unhappily. Her visitor shot one last look at her face before turning on his heels and walking out the door. Iliana shook her head, blinked then shot out after him. "Wait! What's your name?" Why did she have to sound so breathless?
"Nara Shikaku… I will come back in a few hours" And with those parting words, the shinobi named Shikaku disappeared in the midst of a dramatic cloud of dust.
'Deer?' Was Iliana's bemused thought. 'Or is it 'assassin'?' Her Japanese could still do with some work, even after all these years.
The shop keeper took a moment to admire the sky. The sun wasn't that high yet, and she woke up at seven in the morning to open their shop. Sirius would remain in a coma until she started lunch going – then he'd be nursing a headache for another hour – yesterday being Friday, and Saturday being Sirius' lazy day – he had too much fun at the bar last night.
It was Sirius' idea to open a shop only two years ago, exactly five years since they've been dumped in this place by whatever powers that be. 'It's been five years already?' The young woman wondered as she walked to the counter, eyes trailing over their merchandise. Of course Sirius' idea of a shop was a Joke one.
A little Share-ya – a Joke Shop with which they had endless fun coming up with new products, testing them and getting to earn some money out of it. Most of their clientele were made of merchants' children that came and went with the seasons' caravans and tourists. The town they settled in was relatively nondescript and small, but saw a lot of business since it was by a popular road that connected the royal capital to the Hashirama forest, where Konoha was located.
It was also the first sight of humanity they saw when landing on this World.
'We didn't know how to speak a word of Japanese' Iliana remembered, finally settling back on her chair and leaning next to the cashier as she did earlier. 'We were lucky we still had our magic' It made surviving easier… Though they didn't speak the language at the time, both Sirius and Iliana knew they had to start somewhere.
Both stumbled to the ground in a heap of robes and limbs. Sirius was askew on the ground, with Iliana's hair tangled in his beard and her knees digging painfully in his kidney. Their hands were still grasped though – they made sure to not let go when Iliana's fate joined Sirius'.
"Are you alright?" Her godfather asked, tensing underneath her and prompting Iliana to scamper off him.
"Yeah… I'm fine… what about you Padfoot? That curse Bellatrix sent seemed nasty" The raven haired girl asked, looking at him in search of injury.
Sirius shrugged. He felt fine, though a bit dizzy. But as soon as his wits returned, he grabbed Iliana so fast her forehead smacked on his chin when he shook her. "You fool! Why did you come after me!?"
Wasn't it obvious? "Because I just met you!" The teenage witch snapped back. "You know how much I longed for a family! How much I dreaded the Dursleys! Then you came up and I had hope! So I'm not about to let you slip through my fingers no matter what"
"Little fawn…" He groaned, rubbing his chin and kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry" And they hugged right there, in the middle of nowhere.
Of course that at the time, none of them had the presence of mind to think about all the consequences, but they would in time. Iliana bitterly thought. 'I still feel guilty about the prophecy… I hope Dumbledore has managed somehow…' Though she didn't feel very appeased at the prospect of dying so Voldemort could be defeated, her consciousness wouldn't let her hands be washed so easily.
Not speaking a language in a strange place was scary. Sirius, being a little bit more world weary recognized the language, though Iliana had some idea as to what it was thanks to Duddley's violent anime shows she sometimes peeked at when he watched those at the living room TV.
Then, along with not knowing the language, they had no useable money… well, they managed to scrooge up a few coins between their pockets – selling them for their value in metal in the market gave the pair of stranded wizards a little local currency that they spent on food right away.
After that, things got trickier… at least until Sirius had the brilliant idea of performing parlor tricks on the street to earn money. There was no MoM to regulate underage magic, so Iliana was free to abuse how many spells she wanted to play pretend a real Magic show. Sirius would levitate her, or someone from the 'audience', they'd make things disappear and appear somewhere else, or simply pull out a bunny out of a top hat. It was a blast with the tourists, and in no time at all their pockets were full again.
"We need to learn the language" Sirius pointed out after they mimed their way into an Inn.
Iliana nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing. She's been able to pick up a few words here and there from their times on the streets already. "Yeah… Good morning and How much is it aren't going to take us far"
"You know that much already? All I've been able to learn are Shit, Fuck and Screw you" Iliana shot a stinging hex at her unrepentantly grinning godfather.
Thankfully, the Innkeeper was a nice old lady who got enthusiastically happy when they asked for help. Learning how to speak Japanese at the same time as they learned how to write and read it was most useful. It took the pair of them almost a year to speak the local dialect and even then they had to deal with the terrible accent – two years to learn all the complicated symbols that made up the written language.
The young woman sighed. Her cheeks heated again when her brain conjured images of her blunder earlier. The shinobi, Nara Shikaku, was a handsome man that she wouldn't mind getting to know better – though he must think she was a simpleton now – she'd have a chance of redemption later that day when the konoha-nin said he'd come back for Sirius.
It must be some kind of Potter curse. She remembered her fourth year during which she was forced to compete in the Triwizard tournament and also the fabled year in which she finally took notice of boys. She and Hermione both spent fairly good portions of the night discussing the attributes of their male classmates – sometimes being joined by Lavender and Pádma – and it was during the Champion Introduction that Halloween day that she first took notice of Cedric.
Handsome Cedric. With his messy honey colored hair, sharp eyes and strong jaw. She had crumbles of toast in her hair – the Weasley twins weren't happy she was chosen as a champion and they weren't - when she finally mustered the courage to go say hi to him. Cedric pretended not to notice said crumbs, but as soon as he thought she wasn't looking anymore, he was snickering along with his friends.
Her father faced similar problems while wooing Lily, Sirius told her. So Iliana was starting to think that mortifying herself in front of interesting males was indeed a Potter curse.
Speaking of her godfather, Iliana leaned back against her chair, she'd have to start lunch soon in the hopes of rousing Mr. Black from his alcohol induced slumber. Then, there was that meeting with Mr. Deer to think about.
XxxXxxX
"What are you doing?"
"Grandpa…"
"Hey there pops"
"We're re-telling the story of how dad met mum"
The father shared a look with his wife. His father-in-law was a riot and a half and didn't have an ounce of shame in his blood. His wife smiled innocently.
"I invited him for lunch, It is Saturday"
"Oh… would you like to join us pa?"
"Sure! Now come on! Tell me where you left off!"
The son shook his head, eying his mom inquisitively. She was shooting warning glances left and right to the men in her life – he was instantly suspicious. "Mum was about to tell us about dad's first meeting with you"
With a huge, sparkling grin, the grandfather/father-in-law/father began. "I had this massive headache, and wasn't really in the mood for visitations, but your harpy of a mother (hey!) insisted on this one…"
XxxXxxX
His brain must be doing its best impression of a drum. Pain shot behind his lids, but something had to have woken him up. There… the delicious smell of Saturday hangover lunch lingering teasingly just under his nose. Hmm… Roasted vegetables, fried fish and chips – Iliana outdid herself!
'She either broke something or she's in a good mood' He thought, dragging himself pathetically out of the comfortable bed. Usually his (god)daughter was rather waspish in the weekends – no thanks to him, he admitted guiltily – he was the one who was supposed to wake up early and open shop. Iliana still insisted in studying their new world's customs and was often caught sleeping later than she should.
But Garan Hibuki and his brother Satori were celebrating Funebune Yodoi's birthday yesterday, and Sirius accidently met with them at the bar – one thing led to another and when he last noticed, he was being roped into a drinking game that he ended up winning – sake has nothing on Fire Whiskey – and if he could drink Rosmerta under the table, then no one was a match for him and his bottomless stomach.
He didn't even remember staggering home, piss faced and passing out on his bed. Iliana must have steered him – he surely collapsed halfway into their apartment – to his room where his instincts led him into burrowing under the covers and sleeping until the smell of food woke him up.
And then, true to every Saturday ever since they opened their Share-ya, Sirius swaggered out his room in the flat above the store, dodging furniture like a veteran and bubbling into the kitchen with a half-smile on his lips. True to his thoughts, his god-daughter sat at the table staring deeply at her lunch.
"Morning" Sirius called, alerting the raven haired woman to his presence.
"It is already afternoon, Padfoot." She threw back. The man shrugged and sat down at their small table, uncovering his own lunch with a grateful nod to Iliana.
"Anything interesting happened?" He asked.
"Well… depends on what you'd consider interesting…" She answered reluctantly, shifting her eyes from side to side. Suspicion rising, Sirius stared pointedly at the very luxurious English lunch spread.
"Did you break something irreparable again? You know I won't be that upset, and if it's that ugly Tea Country tea set then I might even congratulate you! Been trying to do that ugly thing in for months since Mrs. Matsune gave it to us!"
"Uh! That tea set wouldn't look out of place in your mother's house!" Iliana shook her head, a look of pensive disgust on her face before it was replaced by a very fetching blush. Suspicions going somewhere no male parental figure liked to dwell, Sirius made a very brave and valiant effort not to start an Inquisition. He wasn't very successful, and something must have showed because suddenly Iliana was looking sheepish. "Potter luck struck again" She finally confessed.
Laughing became easier when his hungover brain stopped aching. A hearty lunch did that to a bloke – Sirius let out a cackle, ready to ignore the possible way this conversation could develop.
"What happened?" He asked, eyes bright.
His daughter's back slumped in defeat "A konoha representative came around this morning… I might have been taking a nap at the time…"
"Let me guess, he was the mostest handsomest man you've ever seen?"
"Is that how dad described mum?!"
"Of course he didn't call her handsome…"
...
TBC?