A/N: Ok, this is my first Inuyasha fic, so please excuse any OOC-ness. This story contains your usual bit of San/Mir fluff, but of course, it ends in tragedy, like almost every good fic between these two does. I could not warn you enough about how many tissues you will need for this story...I cried like a baby writing it, and used up a whole box! So, without further ado, I present to you The First and Final Kiss!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of its characters, but I really wish I owned Miroku. Everything you don't recognize is mine. All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

::NOTE:: Everything between the "........." is a time change. Meaning, the story changes from either present to flashback, or flashback to present. You'll understand what I mean while you're reading.

::NOTE 2:: This is told from Sango's POV.

.........

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

-Michelle Branch
-Goodbye to You

.........

It's been two months since it happened. Two long and painful months since he left me for good. Now that he's gone and sucked himself up, he's never coming back. He can't...not ever.

.........

On a cool, clear night about two months ago, I woke up with a start. The nightmare I had just experienced was terrible. It had started off okay, because Kohaku had come back to me. But then, it took a turn for the worse.

Naraku showed up, and killed my brother and friends. Houshi-sama had tried using the kazaana against the hanyou but had only succeeded in sucking himself up.

It was then that I awoke; thankful it was only a dream, but hoping that it wasn't a premonition. I began to believe the latter, because when I looked around at my still-slumbering friends, I noticed that houshi-sama was not among them.

He's probably just off meditating. No need to worry, I thought to myself. However, since it was nearly daybreak and everyone would soon awaken, I decided to look for the sukebe houshi.

I stepped out of the hut we had been staying in, Kirara at my heels, and saw houshi-sama's footprints in the dirt path leading into the woods. I followed the trail for what seemed like forever, before finding him in a clearing. I had found that my original intuition was indeed correct - he was meditating.

Relieved, I walked up to him cautiously, not wanting to disturb his meditation process. He must have sensed I was there, though, because when I reached him, he opened his eyes and greeted me. "Good morning, Sango. What are you doing up so early?"

"I should ask you the same question, houshi-sama." It seemed that my question had already been answered. He had obviously gotten up so he could meditate, but the real question was, why had he wanted to meditate so early?

"Well, Sango, I have been sensing that something bad is going to happen in the near future. I was thinking that perhaps Buddha could help me. Now, perhaps you can answer my question." He seemed sort of miffed about something. Had I done something? Was he angry because I had disturbed his meditation?

"I...I wanted to find you. I woke up and saw you were missing, and I wanted to find you before anyone else got up." I was speaking softly, because if he was mad, I didn't want to anger him more.

"Sango, just go back with the others and wait for me. I need to be alone right now," he snapped. I jumped back slightly. He had never yelled at me before. What was wrong?

"Houshi-sama, I'm not going back unless you're with me. What's wrong? You can talk to me about anything, you know." I really didn't believe that last statement, but it was worth a try.

"Sango, just go. If what I think is going to happen actually happens, I don't want you to see it. You'll be traumatized. I'm only trying to protect you."

Suddenly, it hit me. I knew what he was talking about. He was going to get sucked up by his kazaana. As soon as this realization hit me, tears welled up in my eyes. All the time we had spent together would mean nothing. In a short amount of time, he would be sucked into his hand. And I would never see him again.

"I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here with you." I couldn't leave him then. Everything I had wanted to say to him for all that time needed to be said. But first, I had to know one thing.

"Houshi-sama," I said, sitting on the ground next to him, "why are you so intent on protecting me?" When I asked him this, I could've sworn I saw a smile on his face. Why was he smiling? I was trying to be serious and the doofus was smiling!

"I'm actually quite glad you asked me that, Sango."

"Eh?" I was confused at this point. Why was he glad I asked him that?

"Well, Sango," he turned to face me, "I would think the answer's simple. I do not want the girl I care for to be hurt."

I could've sworn my heart stopped beating then. "G-girl you c-c-care for?" Uh-oh. I was stuttering. That usually only happened when I was really nervous.

"Yes. Have you never wondered why I haven't yet asked you to bear my child? If you have my children, and something happens to me, you'd be heartbroken."

"I'd be heartbroken anyway, houshi-sama!" I shouted.

"Don't say that, Sango."

"Why not? It's true!"

"Sango, nobody would miss me that deeply."

"Houshi-sama, that's not true! I would miss you, Kagome would miss you, Shippou would miss you...heck, even Inuyasha, Mr. Emotionless, would miss you! We don't want you to leave us just about as much as we hope that Inuyasha doesn't choose Kikyou over Kagome!" I had started crying at that point, and I had been fighting back tears throughout most of that outburst.

I looked up at houshi-sama, and his face fell. "Do you really feel that way, Sango?" He seemed to be in a state of disbelief. He really didn't think anybody would miss him, huh?

"Yes, houshi-sama. As a matter of fact, I do." I got to my feet, and began to leave. "Well, since you don't want me to miss you, I guess I'll leave you alone now." I began to leave, thinking he'd just let me go.

"Sango, wait!" I felt someone grab my wrist, and I quickly turned around. I was kind of confused. Didn't he just want me to leave?

"Houshi-sama, let me go. You just told me you wanted me to go." He wasn't letting go.

"I changed my mind. Please say, Sango." He let go of my wrist, and looked at me with those gorgeous eyes of his. The very same eyes that made me melt each and every time I looked into them. Never breaking eye contact, I sat down beside him once again.

I continued to stare into those beautiful eyes until I was interrupted.

"Sango, why are you staring at me like that?"

I snapped back to reality. "N-no reason."

I was stuttering again...something was definitely up. At the moment, I really couldn't put my finger on it. There were so many thoughts running through my head so fast that I couldn't comprehend all of them. 'He already admitted that he cares for me. Should I tell him I feel the same way?'...'Is today really the day the kazaana will take him away from me?' Those were just a couple of examples...the rest I either care not to share, or just don't want to remember. Then, realizing that he had caught me staring, I began to blush - quite a bad habit, if I do say so myself.

There was an awkward silence for quite some time. I kept opening my mouth to speak, but then closed it quickly, because I was at a loss for words. After a few moments, the silence was broken, but not by one of our voices.

A small bolt of jet-black lightning flew from one of the fingers on his cursed hand, singing the ground beneath it. I looked at him in shock, tears welling in my eyes once more. "Houshi-sama, what's happening?"

"Nothing to worry about, Sango. It's been happening every once in a while for quite some time now. I still have time, don't worry." His voice was so calm and soothing. How he was able to remain so calm when that was possibly his last day on earth was beyond me. But that thought was pushed to the back of my mind as I calmed down a bit myself. Only a bit, mind you.

"But how much time, houshi-sama? How much longer is it going to be until you're taken away from me?" I couldn't believe I had said that out loud. Blushing once again, I looked down at my hands, which had become quite fascinating. "Gomen-nasai, that was incredibly selfish of me."

He chuckled. "It wasn't selfish at all, Sango. You're just upset, and once again letting your emotions get the best of you. Don't be sorry."

.........

Damn. He was good at trying to boost my spirits at the lowest of times. You're probably wondering how that last statement raised my spirits...

...to tell you the truth, it didn't. But, his voice was always able to make me happier, so, my spirits were boosted simply from hearing him speak.

Anyway...

.........

"Houshi-sama," I said, my eyes nearly overflowing with tears, "when it happens...take me with you."

"Sango, I'm afraid that's not possible."

"Yes it is! Just take me first, and then, I guess you'll follow."

"Sango, you can 't come with me. You need to stay with the group. They need you."

"And they don't need you?" I shouted. I was getting more and more upset by the second, but I wasn't allowing myself to cry...I just couldn't. The tears could wait.

"They have no choice at this point. They'll have to go on without me. You, however, can stay with them. You're not leaving them anytime soon."

"Yes, I am, because I'm going with you!" I was quite intent on going with him, even though deep down, I knew I couldn't.

"Damn it, Sango!" he shouted. "Why do you want to come with me so badly?" It seemed I had upset him, but I didn't care at this point. I was too upset to care about anything.

"Because...because I..." I just couldn't seem to get the words out.

"Because you what?"

"Because I love you!" I couldn't believe I had said that. I had kept that a secret from everyone - well, except for Kagome - for so long. However, in a way I was glad it finally got out.

The anger in his face faded, and he was now looking at me in shock. Once again there was silence, but it was quickly broken.

"Wow. That was unexpected. I, uh, really don't know what to say."

Tell me you love me too! my mind was screaming. Tell me -

My thoughts were quickly interrupted when I felt his lips press against mine. I jumped a little, due to the unexpectedness of it all, but quickly recovered, closing my eyes and returning the kiss. He pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss (Or, you could just do that... I was thinking), and then before I knew it, we had broken apart.

He smiled, and I found myself smiling back, for the first time that morning. I also found that in those few short minutes, every thought that I was thinking, and every emotion that I was feeling had completely dissipated. Everything was forgotten, and my mind was focused on him, and him only. However, I soon realized that the moment we were sharing would not last forever, and I became depressed again.

He must have noticed my sudden bout of depression, because I saw him frown slightly. I was hoping that he wasn't thinking that he made me depressed, because that wasn't it...at least, not all of it. I also didn't want him thinking that I didn't enjoy that wonderful kiss...because that's a lie if I've ever heard one. Unless his frown wasn't caused by me. I then thought that perhaps he was in pain, and just didn't want to show it. If that was the case, he wasn't doing a very good job. Or, it could be a combination of both. Maybe he was both in pain, and realized I was depressed.

"Sango? What's wrong?" Why was he so worried about me? Wasn't I supposed to be worried about him?

"Nothing's wrong, houshi-sama. I'm fine." I hated lying to him; I really did. But, I figured that he wouldn't want me being depressed because of him.

So, I thought, as long as I hide my feelings, everything will be fine. Then, looking at his face again, I realized that, perhaps, he already knew how I was feeling, and he wasn't happy about it. Not being able to look at his face, I looked down at the ground, and saw his left hand twitch slightly, almost as if he were making another attempt to grope me, but then the twitching stopped, meaning he was somehow able to refrain.

I was very proud, but confused as well. He had never stopped himself before. But, considering the circumstances, I probably wouldn't have reacted the same if he had groped me this time. I wouldn't have slapped him senseless at least. And considering I had left hiraikotsu back in the hut, I couldn't have thrown it at him.

Then, I looked at his right hand - the hand bearing the kazaana. More tiny bolts of lightning flew from his fingers, in very quick succession. Looking up at him once more, I saw him wince in pain. The pain must have been unbearable. I would have given anything to switch places with him right now. To take the pain away from him. He's suffered enough pain because of that damn curse. It was then that I made a promise - once he was gone, I was going to kill Naraku. I was going to avenge not only his death, but the death of my brother, and the slaughtering of my village. As if my family being taken from me wasn't bad enough, now an innocent person had to die just because the bastard was alive.

Once all those thoughts had finished processing, the dreaded moment began. The rosary beads that he had used to cover the kazaana began to vibrate. Before either of us knew it, they had popped off. My eyes filled with tears and I watched in horror the sight before me. Time seemed to slow down, or even stop. I stood up, and tried to move, because I knew I shouldn't be there. I knew he wanted me to leave, so I could continue life.

My feet were frozen to the spot. I didn't want to stand there and watch him die. But something was telling me to stay. The fact that my feet wouldn't move an inch was reason enough to stay. I still couldn't believe that it was actually happening now. After everything that happened, now had to be the time.

"Houshi-sama!" I screamed, hoping, for some stupid reason, that my screaming at him would keep him here longer. I knew it wouldn't, but being the stubborn girl I am, I had to try.

I continued being rooted to the spot as every moment we had spent together, both the wonderful and the unpleasant, came flashing before my eyes. It was too much for me to bear.

My feet finally become unfrozen; I turned around, and ran about a meter, before turning around once more. I couldn't leave him. Not yet. It wasn't my place to abandon him like this.

"Houshi-sama!" I screamed again, knowing that it would do no good. Fighting back tears, I just watched as he stood up, and held the kazaana away from him, perhaps in hopes of staying alive just a moment longer. Small particles of grass and dirt were being sucked in, along with some leaves that were lying helplessly on the ground. They were being sucked in with a force I'd never seen the kazaana possess before. I hoped that he could withhold it long enough to speak to me one last time.

I just wanted to hear his voice one more time...

"I love you, Sango. Don't ever forget that."

He had finally admitted his feelings. But, it had been at the wrong time. Why couldn't he have done that before this happened?

"Houshi-sama!" I said for one last time, through the tears that were pouring out of my eyes like a waterfall.

"Miroku, Sango...just Miroku."

And with that, he smiled slightly. However, I knew his smile was forced, because I still saw the pain in his eyes. Then, the kazaana took him.

I fell to my knees, and broke down in tears. I couldn't believe I had stood there and witnessed the whole thing. All that was left to remember him by was his staff, lying on the ground in the spot where we had sat only moments before. I picked it up, and held it in my arms, crying harder than I had ever cried in my life. I now had no one – everyone I had ever loved was gone.

"Miroku..." I whispered. Tears were still falling, and then, I realized that I had said his name. For the first time since I've known him, I used his real name. He had always gone by 'houshi-sama' or 'hentai', and so many other things, in my book. But not Miroku...never Miroku. What made this moment even more depressing was that he was not around to hear this.

I felt Kirara softly nudge me, mewing softly, as if to comfort me, as she had done so many times before. I had forgotten she was there. I had gotten too caught up with what was happening to recognize her presence. I placed the staff down next to me, and picked up Kirara, cuddling with her, almost as if she one of Kagome's stuffed animals that I've heard so much about.

Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped slightly; someone had snuck up behind me. I turned around, and saw Kagome behind me, with Inuyasha and Shippou entering the clearing behind her.

"Where the hell is Miroku? We need to get going!" I heard Inuyasha say. I cried even harder, if that were possible, at the mere sound of his name.

"INUYASHA!!!" Kagome screamed. "How can you be so insensitive? OSUWARI!"

I heard the loud thump of face to hard ground, and stopped crying a bit, but not enough for anyone to notice.

I also heard Shippou burst into tears behind me ("Miroku!!" he cried,) but I really couldn't bring myself to care.

It was then that I really took notice of my surroundings. I was in a small clearing - I noticed that right away. But it was just then that I noticed the small stream silently running through it.

No wonder he came here, I thought. It was relaxing, and peaceful. I just had to ruin it didn't I? I internally punished myself, and then cried even harder.

I just sat there, in tears, for what felt like forever. I still had Kirara in my arms, and I didn't want to let go. I needed something to embrace, and she was cuddly enough for me whenever I needed her. I looked up at Kagome, seeing tears forming in her eyes. I turned towards Inuyasha, and he was just standing against a tree, with no expression on his face whatsoever.

Typical, I thought. Even when he should be showing emotion, he doesn't.

However, I knew that as soon as he was alone, he'd go destroy something...and perhaps cry a little. I'd been traveling with him long enough by this time to know about his mood swings.

So, there I sat, tears falling down my face, thinking about the one who I had loved, and lost, all in a matter of minutes.

.........

It's now two months later. Not a day goes by I don't think of him. I still have his staff. I couldn't bear to part with it; it's the only piece of him I have left.

Kagome tells me he died happy, because I was there with him. Even Inuyasha is showing some sensitivity here, and tells me that Miroku wouldn't want me to be depressed. We all miss him, but I don't think anybody misses him as deeply as I.

I don't think I'll ever find anyone like him. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to. Miroku was my first love, and I want him to be my last. Just like our kiss...it was our first and final. And that's what he is to me...

...my first and final love.

.........

A/N: --wipes away tears-- That HAS to be the saddest fic I've ever written!! I can't believe I killed my beloved houshi-sama!

Vikki: You mean, OUR, houshi-sama!

Me: Yes, Vikki, I mean OUR houshi-sama! --sigh-- Sharing a hot guy with your best friend is always so DIFFICULT! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story. I worked oh so very hard on it! The next chapter is the same thing, but from Miroku's POV. I kinda feel bad for Vikki, cuz she had to write his death scene from his POV...that's very hard to do, but she did a wonderful job on it! Let's give Vikki a round of applause! --applauds--

--looks around and finds that her and Vikki are the only ones applauding--

...or not...

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and please review! Enjoy the next chapter once it's posted, and this is the last you'll hear of me for now, until me and Vikki write another fic!

luv ya!
-mandi

P.S. The first person to review gets Miroku's staff

Sango: NO! MY staff!

--sigh-- This is going to be difficult...