hello everyone, this is my first fanfiction so please don't be too harsh :) Also, if you have any constructive reviews, feel free to express it.
Amanda's POV
This case was hard. I need to admit it, it mentally felt like a truck ran over me. The case was about a 20 years old girl who was raped by her boss. When Olivia and I went to get her statement, she was already sobbing and saying, and I quote, "I put myself into that position. I deserved it! Go away!". When she said that I just couldn't stay in the room. It was too much. I told Olivia that I needed to go fill some paper work and ran out of the room. That girl reminded me of myself when everything happened back in Atlanta. I just wanted to avoid falling apart in front of that girl and Olivia.
I like to think I can handle all my crap but that's just a facade. I'm not dealing with anything. I just like to push things away and pretend they never happened but we all know it doesn't work this way. If I had dealt with anything I wouldn't be sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing, with a bottle of wine between my hands right now. I tried to get my shit together but I could not bring myself to seek help. I don't like anyone sneaking into my things, trying to find problems where there are none. I tried to go to Olivia's therapist but I just couldn't. I don't know what happened, I just freaked out. I didn't want to tell a stranger everything about what happened with Patton. It was too difficult. Just bringing myself to admit the events to Barba was a living hell. I could not do it again. I can't stop thinking. I just want the thinking to stop! My only friend right now is my bottle of wine. Still better than gambling I guess.
There's almost no wine left in the bottle. I stopped sobbing a few hours ago. I can't feel nothing now. The only feeling I have is emptiness. You think sadness is bad? Try being in a frozen state, looking at the ceiling, thinking about nothing, feeling nothing. I hear a knock on the door. I ignore it. I don't want to see anyone right now. Anyways, i'm not even sure I can walk to the door.
All of the sudden I feel anger, sadness, guilt, despair, all at once. Just at the right moment urgh… I can't hold it in. I start crying. I'm crying over everything he took from me. All those years I lived in fear because of him. I'm so angry. I'm a mess of emotions because of him. He broke me. I throw the bottle on the wall in pure anger at what I lost.
"Okay that's it 'manda, I'm comin in!"
Oh fuck.
Fin's POV
The case seemed to hit Amanda particularly hard. She's my partner, I couldn't just not check on her. I went to her apartment and knocked on the door. She didn't answer. I waited a while but, then, I heard the sound of glass breaking.
" Okay that's it 'manda, I'm comin in!" I'm now shouting
I'm scared for that girl. She's not really the talkative type when it comes to personal things. God knows how she feels and how she deals with her problems. I don't know what happened in her apartment but i'm scared that she might have hurt herself. Fortunately, she trusted me enough to give me a spare key of her apartment a while ago. I use it and get inside. I can hear her crying. I take out my gun just in case and follow the cries. I arrive at the bathroom and the scene I see just breaks my heart. Amanda is hugging her knees in the corner of the room crying. A few feet from her lays a broken bottle of wine. She probably threw it there. She sees me and stop crying. Still, I can see sobs making her shiver. She stares at me right in the eyes and, I swear, at this moment, all I can see in her beautiful bright blue eyes is pain and fear. Not long after, she breaks eye contact and tries to get up quickly. She's not steady and falls down five seconds later. I try to go and help her but she puts a hand in front of her and shout "NO!"