And Now, It's Time for Bum Reviews, With Chester A. Bum...

Tonight's Review...

SKYLINE

OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

Greetings, Humans. I come in SPOILERS!

There's this guy, named Jarrod, and he has a woman named Elaine!

Jerry would probably be lightly jealous.

And they go on a trip to Los Angeles, and get wasted. After a night of party, weird blue lights appear, attracting everyone within a 100 mile radius.

I got attracted to a blue light once!

Of course, she always gave me the silent treatment.

After people stare at the light, they get sucked into the sky. Jarrod and co, who manage to avoid being attracted by staring away from the light, try to figure out what's going on, and then something comes from the sky.

It turns out the blue lights are generated by ALIENS!

And why are the aliens abducting us? Do they want to probe our anuses?

No.

Are they here to examine our internal systems?

No.

Are they here to lead us to world peace? End world hunger? Give the bums homes by sucking away the rich people?

No, no, and only in your dreams.

Well, what then?

All they want to do is eat our brains.

Really?

Yep.

So it's an alien invasion movie with alien brain-eating monsters?

Yep.

Oh, great, it's an alien zombie apocalypse.

Well, that would explain how they could survive a nuke.

Wait, they survive a NUKE?

Yep.

Oh, well, that sucks.

So, Jarrod, Elaine, and some guys who eventually get themselves killed decide to leave the oversized tower this entire film is based in to escape the UFO's by getting away on a boat, but it winds up that the aliens have squids, oversized monsters, and giant flying UFO's!

But then the military comes in, and becomes about as effective as they are in other alien movies - Not at all.

And so, Jarrod and Elaine are abducted, and the aliens remove Jarrod's brain and puts it in one of their alien monster things. But because he was exposed to the light so many times, he manages to take control of the monster and kick alien ass!

And that's the end of the movie, setting up the sequel that people will most likely ignore.

I don't understand why people hate this movie so much. It had aliens killing people for their own purposes and lots of action near the end. As far as I'm concerned, that's all I need!

Of course, it had a few flaws, but they're bearable in my opinion.

This is Chester A. Bum, saying, CHANGE? YA GOT CHANGE! Ah c'mon, help a guy out, will ya? C'mon, change.

Seriously though, Skyline was awesome eye candy, but it could use a little rewriting.

C'mon, Aliens, I'll be your CPU for a few bucks!