Hey, so this is just a little one-shot idea that came into my head after watching the episode where Luke is afraid of taking lives. Enjoy! :D (This is still early in the series so Luke doesn't have mush knowledge yet!) I think Tear may be OOC, so please let me know if you think so :D
Luke's POV
I had blood on my hands, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that I didn't even know if it was a good or bad action. I had taken another to defend my own. Did I kill because I value my own life over others? Would it be alright for me to kill a dozen people in the defense of mine? One hundred? One thousand? How much is just one life worth? Surely it would differ in other peoples heads but how much was mine worth? Not a lot, that I'm sure of.
I felt like a criminal. The thought of taking a life was horrible, yet I had just done it in just a few simple movements. Was a life really that easy to take? Surely it would have been more difficult if the soldier valued his life, right? I fingered the edge of my swords handle nervously.
I don't see why I learned how to fight if I wasn't going to use my skills in battle. Master Van had taught me so many techniques and now they were going down the drain. I tried to remember why I loved swords. 'Because it was fun?' I frowned, that was the only reason I could probably come up with, because it was fun... I still can't believe that I didn't think about the possibility of me actually having to use them in real life, but now that I have, I don't think I can really ever fight again. Or in that case, pick up my sword. It just wasn't the same now, because now one innocent life was taken by the point of its blade.
They were all right, if I didn't fight with them I would be yet another burden which we have to carry on our shoulders. That was the last thing we really wanted.
I frowned again and continued tracking down with the others. "Are you okay Luke?" I turned to face a worried Tear. I felt my cheeks warm up a bit. I still really haven't made up for the fact that she just took a heavy blow for me. "Yeah... Why?" I looked to the opposite direction of her, avoiding her bright cerulean eyes.
"You look a bit-" I cut her off, I didn't really want to speak my mind to her.
"It's nothing Tear." I brushed it off and walked a little faster. Unfortunately, she did the same.
"I know there's something wrong!" She somewhat pouted. I had an urge to laugh, I don't think shes ever pouted before, only Anise does. But I just settled for a grin.
"There's just a lot on my mind right now..." I tried to let it slide with the least amount of drama. She raised an eyebrow.
"Like what?" She said, I could tell that she was getting suspicious. Or she was just being nosy.
There was a silence between the two of us. A very awkward one, but it was slightly canceled out by the others talking behind us. I tried to pick up the pace without her knowing but she always would seem to catch on after five minutes. "Luke! Answer my question!" She raised her voice, but luckily not loud enough to make everyone stare.
"... Killing..." I whispered, I looked at my feet. She immediately piped down at this, she also became a bit fidgety as well. "I don't think I can fight anymore..." I faced her, not knowing how she would react.
"You just need to find a reason to fight." Those were the only words she said. I wondered about what she said.
"What do you mean?" By the time I said that, she had made her way back to the middle of the group. I frowned.
'A reason to fight huh?...' I thought about it for about the whole day, with no success. It was already night and we had sent up camp for the day. 'But basically the only reason is to defend myself!' I looked over to Tear again. 'Well her reason is to defend other people right?' I sat up and watched the fire cackle away into night and sighed.
I winced at the thought of Tear defending me, for four reasons. One, I had been completely helpless and would have died if she didn't do that. Two, it kind of damaged my ego and pride... Three, it was kind of scary for how easy it was for her to do that. And four, I just hated the thought of Tear getting hurt or worse, dieing. That would be worse than someone killing me! And that was already a bad thought. I had a sudden shock of inspiration. I looked back over to Tear, who was sleeping like a log.
I smiled at the peaceful state she was in. But not only because of that... Because I had finally came up with a reason for fighting! Not for myself, not for peace... But for Tear.
Thanks for reading guys :D I think it was a little drabbly but please let me know! Also let me know if anyone was OOC or anything! Criticism is appreciated if it is constructive.
Please review~!
P.S Sorry if it was a little too short for some people...