This Is Goodbye – Prompt #4
Prompt: Put your iTunes library on shuffle and write a song based on whatever comes up first: This Ain't A Love Song by Scouting For Girls
In the outbreak of the next world war, Scott gets called back to the air force and his brothers beg him to burn his draft paper and not go back, but Scott is forced to leave and for his brothers to suffer without him. John in particular, is lost without his big brother and fears the day that he is made the oldest brother. During a teared frenzy alone on Thunderbird 5 he writes a letter to Scott that he may never get a chance to send.
Dearest Older Brother,
When I sleep I still think of when father called me back to Earth to hear you tell me that you were leaving. I know you wanted to make it personal, I but I wish I had never been there, I wish I had been alone with an easy excuse to leave the congregation; and I'm firstly sorry for wanting that, but it is unfortunately true.
I think it was the first time I've ever seen you cry, not even when mom died. Do not think that I believe that you're not strong for this, you had every right to cry, we all did. I also think that's when we knew that this war was bad, they were pulling you back to fight their stupid wars that even they don't understand, even now after 4 years of fighting and we haven't seen you since. We tried to get Colonel Casey to fight for your position after you left, but you know how it is, the drafting has been rigged for a century and everyone knows it, even if the government do pretend that they have no exceptions.
We blame the drafters, we really do, Scott. Especially Alan, he doesn't like having to get to know Thunderbird 1 without you there to teach him. He does spend a painfully long time looking her over for scratches; he probably believes that if he does scratch her you'll magically turn up in a puff of smoke in front of him to kill him yourself.
Gordon isn't doing great either, he swims so many lengths these days even Grandma can't find a way to get the smell of chlorine out of him. He says he just wants to be fitter in case WASP draft him too, but we all know that isn't, we all know it's for you. If anything we need you back so that he'll stop stinking the place up, I can smell it on 5 now, seriously it somehow travelled here with me and I hate it.
Virgil is doing worse than everyone, when I'm not down there he's the acting older brother and I know he doesn't just feel ready for that yet. Even on the rare days when I do see him, the piano remains untouched, it's like he's vanished. I don't think the paint in his palette has even been stirred these past few weeks at least. Every so often I hear that he'll emerge from his room like a bear does from a cage, and asks if anyone has heard anything from you. It's almost like he believes that you're already dead.
Father keeps edging his way back to the scotch, and we push the bottle further away from him but he follows it as if we were stringing it along in front of his space, the way one does with a carrot and a stubborn old donkey. I remember you made me help you pour away every drink in the house after mum died, I don't think we'll ever see dad's face look quite like that again.
We need you back Scotty, we need you to show your face around here again. Please, just drop us a line, a word, anything. None of us can take the endless silence anymore, none of us are coping. I walked into Alan's room last night, he was printing out an air force enlistment form, he's desperate for you Scott and I don't want to lose either of you.
I don't even know if you're alive anymore, all we're doing now is waiting for the tick-box form that says that you're missing instead of you.
Scott, if you're out there, please don't make me sign this with goodbye.
Your little brother,
John.
I'm so sorry for writing this oh my god