A/N: This is my first attempt at this so let me know what you think.
She had never felt so alone.
Thoughts swam through her mind in a decidedly unhappy way, a school of fish battling through stormy waters with no clear end in sight. She sighed. Was she really second guessing herself now? The last few months - no, years - of her life had been such a whirlwind of emotions and it felt as though she was still walking her yellow brick road, trying to find her home.
Had she found it?
Her uneasiness peaked as she glanced at the clock above the door. Was it really time already? She took one last look at herself in the mirror, self consciously smoothing her hair and mentally chiding herself for feeling so undeniably sick. Surely this wasn't how one was supposed to feel on this most glorious of days?
"Heeeermiooooneeee!" Came a voice from outside the door. "Are you done yet? We have to go!"
An exuberant redhead burst through the door without waiting for a reply and seized her hands, a look of excitement on Ginny's face that she tried desperately to mimic with her own features.
"You wouldn't want to be late for your own wedding would you?"
"What if this is the wrong thing?" She blurted out, unable to contain herself.
Ginny looked her slowly up and down, shock evident in her features.
"Hermione, everyone gets nervous. This is a huge day and - "
"I'm not nervous! I feel… sick. Like I'm not ready for this. Maybe with all the death in our lives I just wanted something to go to plan and this is something I had always planned. I thought this was what I wanted, hell if you had told me during fourth year that this would happen I would have been all for it but now it just feels like we never really thought this far ahead."
"Maybe it's because you never expected to still be around by now." Said Ginny softly.
Hermione sighed again, a sound wrought with frustration and anger. "This is just not what I expected my life to be y'know?"
"I know. And you know, if you really did want to wait, everyone would understand. You three went through so much and I know you're still processing everything that happened."
"You might understand Gin, but would Ron?"
"Maybe not, at least at first. But would you rather get married and then decide you weren't ready?"
She groaned and covered her face with her hands, mourning the days when her biggest worry had been what the twins were feeding first years. How on earth was the ever logical Hermione Granger having DOUBTS on her wedding day. It seemed so selfish, in light of all that had happened…
"Don't worry about everyone else." Ginny said, interrupting her thoughts which had been veering in a steadily more morose direction since she had last spoken. "Don't worry about anything that's happened - " she continued " - or anything that might happen, if you decide not to go through with this. As much as I want a sister, one who is thoroughly depressed is not on my list. Talk to Ron."
Hermione uncovered her face and looked at Ginny in surprise.
"When did you get so wise?"
"When I realised that there was a distinct possibility that everyone I loved would die."
Hermione got to her feet with a distinct lack of spring in her step.
"Alright. Will you get Ron?"
"Ron - " she said wearily, looking over the man slumped in the chair opposite her. It was clear from his demeanor and lack of enthusiasm that this was not quite how he had expected his wedding day to go. "It's not that I don't want to marry you. In fact, marrying you has been a goal of mine for rather a long time as you know. It's just - "
"It doesn't seem right." He said, cutting her off whilst offering her a small smile. "I understand 'Mione. I love you, I really do, it just feels like - "
"It's too much."
"Exactly." He said, looking at her beautiful dress with a wistful expression. "Too many people have been lost, I think we just need some time to find ourselves and each other. I don't want this to be the end, I just want us to get to know each other again. It's never really been just the two of us has it?"
She couldn't quite disguise her surprise at the fact that Ron, of all people, had just managed to explain her feelings better than she ever could have. Maybe it's time that we upgrade his emotional range to that of a serving spoon, she decided.
Ron looked at her expression and laughed.
"I'm not always an total git." He said, a real smile now gracing his face, one that she couldn't help returning.
"So what are we going to do?"
"I have a different proposal for you… What if, instead of getting married first, we try things the right way round. We can go on dates, just the two of us. Get to know each other as adults instead of terrified teenagers fighting for their lives."
"That sounds perfect, Ron."
"Now how are we going to tell Mum?"