A/N: This is going to be a little different from other fanfictions I've written. It's kind of a darker version of Assumed Moments. It's not the same and I won't be making the same narrative choices. It's just essentially a different way to interpret what happened off screen with Beck and Jade. "Episodes" are going to be shorter than in Assumed Moments most likely, but I'll try to post a couple episodes a chapter so that they're longer.

Also, this may be triggering. There's no self-harm or violence or sexual assault (and if that changes I'll let you before each chapter). But this will explore the dynamics of depression.

Pilot

Jade glares at her boyfriend as they leave Sikowitz's class. "Seriously?"

Beck avoids her gaze as best he can considering that they're holding hands and walking to the same place. Once they reach Jade's scissor-covered locker, he finally turns to look at her. He wants to see anger and jealousy. After all, she did just pour iced coffee all over a girl's head. But instead, all he sees is irritation. But at least that's something.

"What was that?"

That was him flirting with the new girl. But he knows that's not what she was asking. But he also can't tell her that he was trying to force her to feel… something, anything. He can't tell her that he's frustrated. That he wants his girlfriend back. "It was nothing."

Jade rolls her eyes and opens her locker. She switches out her books before slamming the door closed. She starts to walk away before she turns back to him. "You coming?" Beck knows by her tone that whatever irritation she was feeling a minute ago is gone now, but he still searches her eyes. The only thing left is exhaustion.

Beck pushes himself away from the wall. "Yeah, of course." Once he gets close enough she laces her fingers with his and he feels some small measure of comfort in that.

"Jade!" Beck stops as he glares at his girlfriend. "If you're not going to say something the least you could do is look at me while I argue with myself."

Jade sighs and turns to look at Beck. He's anxiously pacing in front of her. Just looking at him makes her tired. "Better?'

Beck pauses as he studies her. She's sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall with her knees up. Everything about her looks heavy like gravity is pulling more on her than anything else in the room. He takes a deep breath and walks over to her. He sits down next to her, copying her position. He leans his head against the wall and closes his eyes. "I thought it would help."

"You know it doesn't work that way."

"I know." Beck runs his fingers through his hair. "I just… you've been this way for months and usually, it doesn't stay this way for so long and I just thought that… I don't know what I thought."

"You thought it would be a catalyst." Beck looks over at her and meets her stare. "That maybe we could move on from this phase."

"It seemed like maybe it was working yesterday. And I just thought that if I pushed it a step further that maybe something would, I don't know, shift." He knows that's not how it works. That there's nothing he could do that would positively shift this. He knows from experience that something like this could even make it worse. "I'm sorry. I just...miss you." He shrugs helplessly.

Jade leans her head against his arm. "Me too."

Beck kisses the top of her head. He doesn't know what else to do. He just wants to connect with her again, but he knows that as long as she feels like this there's nothing he can do.

The Bird Scene

Beck almost feels like today could be a good day. Jade doesn't have her wall up quite as high as usual and he thinks that maybe this will be a start. And then Tori does the bird scene.

"Oh, come on! How am I supposed to do the scene right if no one will tell me what I did wrong? I thought you guys were my friends," Tori whined.

Jade is leaning into him and if he's honest he's not paying a lot of attention to Tori. But Jade is. "I'm not your friend." Beck resists rolling his eyes as he follows Jade over to the vending machine. He's not annoyed that she was mean. He's annoyed because his talented, complex girlfriend will be acting out a caricature of herself once again.

"Do you have to do this today?" No one is close enough to hear him, but he whispers anyway.

"Do what?" She's not even looking at him. More concerned with picking out a drink.

He tugs on the hand he's still holding. "Jade."

She glances over at him and sees his pleading expression. "Beck, just leave it alone."

"No, just… we can just do us today, okay? We can skip the classes we don't have together and eat lunch alone and we don't have to talk to anyone else. Today can just be us."

Jade squeezes his hand and says, "I can't. Not today."

Beck feels his heart sink, but he nods. She's never explained to him what exactly the difference is between a day they can just do them and a day she needs to play the caricature of herself. But he knows better than to push, so he turns his attention back over to their group of friends. "Number one rule of the bird scene: No one's allowed to help you."

He offers to show Tori his locker. He knows that he hasn't been that great at making her feel welcome. He's spent too much using Tori to get a reaction out of Jade and then being annoyed with Tori for making it so easy for Jade to slip into the one-dimensional impression Tori has of her. But she's new and nice and could be a good friend if he just stopped putting her in the middle of his relationship.

"Clear?" Tori looks confused and unimpressed.

"Transparent. I've got no secrets and neither does my locker." When he first started at Hollywood Arts this was true.

"But, ugh, that is creative and deep." But it's a lie now. He thinks that once he started going along with Jade's act and started lying to their friends and teachers to cover for Jade is when that stopped being true. Because even though the secret isn't his, he's been hiding it for over a year.

"Yeah." He shrugs. Maybe showing Tori his locker wasn't the best way to make nice. Because now he kind of blames her for making him lie about his locker. It's been so long since he decorated it that he hasn't had to explain it to anyone since it became untrue.

Beck figures he should try again with Tori, so when Jade mentions going out to eat he invites her. It would be good for him and for Jade to start getting used to Tori because he has a feeling she isn't going anywhere based on how much Andre and Cat liked her.

But when he turns around to follow the group out, Jade is glaring at him. He knows Tori assumes it's because she's jealous, but he's not sure. She could be faking it. She could have wanted it to just be them. Or she could actually be jealous. He has to remember to ask her later.