AN: So here is the first chapter of a new story. First off I would like to apologize for my long absence from the writing community but I just got really busy with school, work, and lost faith in my writing abilities for a long time. Re-reading my old stories that I still have on here I feel that I am on a new level of quality right now, so while I won't be abandoning them entirely, I plan to completely re-do them in time, but not until I have finished this new story first. Thank you to the people who have read my stuff in the past, your reviews really made them worthwhile to me, and I hope you like this new story. To those of you who haven't read any of my stuff, I still have two old fics on here that are incomplete. And like I said, I'm no longer happy with that quality of writing and I figure that this story will be a better representation of my skills. So if you do decide to look at them, please do not judge me too harshly, as they were written almost five years ago. This will be my first attempt at any real writing in the last three years, so any criticism and reviews are greatly appreciated. I am hoping to have this story finished by the end of next year, and I apologize in advanced as I will be dealing with both university and work on top of this story, so updates may not be regular and may take some time. So without further adieu, here is my first piece of writing after a very long absence.
Summary: AU Cannon couples, Takes place mid New Moon. Bella's life takes a turn for the worst after Edward leaves her in the woods. On the run from a dangerous force, trying to make a life for herself. Bella must face the events of her past to overcome her present and accept a new future for herself. R&R.
Rated: M for language, violence and possible lemons (due to fanfiction's new policy I will not be posting the full chapters which contain lemons but they will be available upon request)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights belong to Stephanie Meyer. The plot, however, belongs to me.
Chapter 1: The Past; Unrecognized
"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." ― Rose Kennedy
Smacking away another hand that grabbed for my back end, I made my way towards the bar at the other end of the room. Blaring music filled my ears while dancing, writhing bodies blocked my path briefly before moving on, oblivious of the world and the people around them. Jimmies Bar was having one of its more wild nights; a live band accompanied with half priced drinks and no set closing time. It was events like these that made Jimmies the most popular place in lower east end New York.
The bar was at capacity; there was barely enough room to maneuver around the many tables and their drunken patrons. The smell of vomit and body odor was thick and I grimaced as I pushed myself through the narrow passages of dancing couples, careful not to drop the tray of empty drinks as I went. I had been working here for almost a year now, and although I didn't particularly care for my job, it was the best I could do for the moment. Sure, it may not have been the fanciest place to work and the uniform may have been a little too revealing for my liking, but the hours were good, and they paid well. I needed the money more than I needed my pride.
Jimmie, the owner of the club and my boss, was a decent man; he knew about the situation I was in, well, as much as I could tell him. He knew I was on the run from something, under the impression that I was hiding from an ex-boyfriend. He wasn't entirely wrong, so I let him think that was the case. And in return he never asked about my past or anything to do with my appearance; something not everyone respected.
Placing the tray on the counter of the bar, I let out a sigh of relief, glad to be free of the crazy mob of people, even if only for a few moments. Even after all these years I still didn't like to be touched if it could be helped. Taking the empty glasses off the tray, I called out to Larry, one of the bartenders working tonight.
"Larry, I need two margaritas for table three, one with no olive, a shot of bourbon for the old man in the corner, three beers for the airheads at table eleven and five Jell-O shots for the sorority girls at table twenty."
Larry flashed me a smile and a nod, signaling that he had heard me and was working on it. He was a tall intimidating guy, with hard bands of muscle that wrapped his biceps and torso. He looked really good for a man pushing forty. Short black hair topped his head, gelled back to show off his face and the strong lines of his cheeks, giving him an almost sinister look. To everyone who didn't know him, he seemed like a man who would not hesitate to bash in your face at the slightest provocation, but to those of us who actually took the time to get to know him, he was a very sweet man with the biggest heart I had ever known. He was married to a very sweet woman named Margaret, who despite her petite frame and gentle face, was the warden of their home and kept Larry on a short leash. Seeing them together always made me take a second look, their dynamic was so surreal but somehow fit them perfectly. You would never have known that such a big scary guy would be scared of such a small woman, and secretly enjoy being kept under her thumb.
Grateful for the brief reprieve as Larry got my order together, I straightened out my uniform which consisted of a short 'artfully' ripped jean skirt and a short black midriff top with the words 'Jimmies Bar' printed on the front of it. My hair was up in a plain ponytail, holding the heavy mop of my now waist length brown hair off my neck which had a thin sheet of sweat forming. My bangs were brushed over my left eye, hiding the scars that had marred me for years now. I didn't like such obvious signs of my past being broadcast, and also it made some of the guests uncomfortable and that reflected in my tips which I couldn't afford to lose. Luckily my other scars were in less obvious places, and therefore much easier to hide.
"Here you go, Marie," Larry said, placing the drinks on my tray. "Now, are you sure you're going to be able to handle all of these?" He raised his right eyebrow in a knowing manner and I couldn't help but blush. Like the unfortunate redness that still flooded my face whenever I got embarrassed, the years hadn't granted me any extra grace either. Many of the staff was well aware of my lack of balance, and it had cost me at least a hundred dollars in damages, mostly broken dishware, in docked wages in the past nine months.
"I'll be fine Larry," I told him with a small smile, "I haven't broken a glass in almost a week now. I think I'm finally getting the hang of this."
Larry just chuckled, chewing on the end of a toothpick. "Alright girly, just let me know if ya need a hand."
"Will do," I murmured as I grabbed the now full tray and headed off to distribute the drinks. Luck was on my side tonight, and no glasses met their end this round.
It was nearing five a.m. when the last guest of the night finally decided to call it quits. He peeled himself away from the side of the bar where he had been most of the night and we called a cab for him to get him home safely. The rest of the staff was cleaning up the dance floor and clearing tables. With the lights on the club had a completely different feel to it, almost like stepping out of a fantasy and back into reality. The floors were a complete mess, broken cups and bodily fluids that I did not want to know the origins of, covered the mock hardwood vinyl floor. Not to mention the various condom wrappers and pills that had fallen out of people's hands as they conducted drug deals while dancing.
Tables having been cleared and wiped I began placing the chairs atop them, making room for the cleaners who always came in after a big night like tonight.
"Marie," called April, who was one of the other closing servers. "I have your tips for the night."
Glancing up I spotter her by the bar, holding an envelope of cash. April was gorgeous. There was no other way to describe her. With long black hair streaked with purple, legs that went up to her neck and the type of pouty face that models only dreamed about having, at the age of twenty-six she was a genuine babe. Her eyebrow ring glittered in the clubs light, which only brought out her almond eyes even more. Almost every guy that worked at Jimmies had a thing for her at some point or another, and I couldn't blame them for it. She was wearing the same uniform that I was, only hers hugged her curves in all the right ways, while mine in comparison seemed to hang off my body due to my lack of assets.
Wiping my hands on my skirt I walked over to where she stood, helping Larry and our other bartender of the night Chris close up the tills and tidy up the open liquor bottles.
"Thanks," I said, grabbing the envelope from her and quickly thumbing through it. Three hundred dollars filled my hand and I scrunched up my face in confusions. Even for a busy night like tonight that seemed a little excessive for one night of tips, and I looked up at the others questionably. Three bright smiles met my gaze and April placed a hand on my shoulder.
"I might have included some of mine in there from tonight," she said. "And before you throw a fit, the others also helped out." Both Chris and Lenny nodded in confirmation.
"Guys," I cried, shaking my head and pushing the envelope back into Aprils hands, "I can't take your money."
"Too bad, it's already done," Larry chuckled.
"Look, Marie," Chris said, coming from around the counter and placing both his hands on my shoulders. He wasn't a very tall man, only coming to about my chin level, his blond mop of hair making him look very boyish for his thirty years of age and reminded me a little of Mike Newton. "We might not know what is going on, seeing as you won't tell us anything and Jimmie has got his lips sealed tighter than a virgins ass, but we know that there is shit going on in your life and we just want to help you out.
"This isn't some form of charity," he said, cutting me off before I could protest again. "This is just us doing something nice for our friend. And besides, you have been working your ass off lately, and we know it's not easy with your obligations at home. Please, let us do this for you and just this once, could you not fight us on this? Please?"
Chris and the others pulled the most disturbing and irresistible look of group pity, quivering lips and all, and I could only laugh. If I had been in a better position to argue, I might have tried, but the truth was that I couldn't. I needed the money more than I could say, and I wasn't above taking it at this point.
"Alright," I told them, folding up the envelope and placing it in my serving pouch. "But I will pay you guys back some day, "I told them with a stern look.
"Whatever you say, babe," April chuckled, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"You should think about heading out thought, Marie," Larry said, "You've been here since we opened at seven; you've got to be exhausted by now."
"Yeah," Chris interjected, "we've got it from here; you should head on home."
"You guy's sure?" I asked, not wanting to leave them there if there was still work to do.
"Yeah, we got it," Larry said, closing the register and collecting the tills and the deposits to put in the office safe. "Get out of here; we're sick of looking at ya," he joked.
"Alright, alright, I can take a hint," I chided, grabbing my rag from off the counter where I had set it. "I'll see you guys Friday night then."
"See ya babe," April called out after me, blowing a kiss in my direction. Waving at them I made my way to the staff dressing rooms located at the back of the building behind the second bar. Stripping out of my work clothes and hanging them in my locker, I grabbed my faded jeans and plain white t-shirt donning them before grabbing my jacket. It was early spring, and the air was still quite cold outside, especially in down town New York. Grabbing my bag I pulled my wallet out, shoved the envelope of cash inside before shoving it down the front of my shirt and into my bra. I had learned a couple tricks living in big cities for the past couple of years, and one of them was to never keep your cash or I.D. easily accessible. It was way too simple for a mugger to just run past, grab your bag, and run off with a whole weeks worth of cash and a piece of plastic with your name and address on it.
Shutting my locker, I grabbed my bag and slung it across my shoulder, before turning to the mirror in the corner of the room. Grabbing the elastic that held my hair back I pulled it free, shaking out my curls and finger combing it till it lay flat, my bangs still covering the left half of my face. Even after all of these years I couldn't help but think there was a stranger in front of me as I looked at my reflection. Gone was that care free girl that lived in the moment and loved with no regret. Gone was the light in her eyes that even in the worst of cases shone with hope and determination.
It had been twenty years since I last saw that person looking back at me. Twenty years since the love of my life had walked out on me and left me in the woods like I meant nothing. Twenty years since my father had died and the safe and happy world as I knew it ceased to exist.
Looking back at me was a girl no older than twenty-one, but it was her eye, since the other one was now missing, the socket empty and surrounded by a mass of scar tissue that truly told her age. There was a weight to it that only came after seeing the many hardships that she had faced in the thirty-eight years of her life. This was the me I knew now.
The door behind me opened and April walked in, tying her hair up in a messy bun.
"You're still here girly?" she asked, heading towards her own locker.
Breaking my stare from the mirror I turned towards her and flashed a fake smile, too tired to try and conjure up a real one. "I'm heading out now," I told her, zipping up my jacket.
"Do you want a ride? I brought my bike," she asked, holding up a black helmet with a visor.
The thought of being back on a bike, being like it had when riding with him made me cringe on the inside and have to fight back down the rising feeling of being suffocated. Trying to keep a calm face and pushing back the beginnings of a panic attack, I shook my head.
"No thanks," I told her, backing away towards the door. "You live in the opposite direction of me, I wouldn't want to put you out of your way."
"You sure?" She asked, grabbing her own bag. "I hate it when you go walking around by yourself at night."
"I'll be fine. Besides," I said, "It's after five; people are starting to head to work anyways, the streets will be starting to get busy."
"Alright," She sang, "Just be safe out there."
"I will." We walked each other out to the doors of the bar. Stepping outside April gave me one last hug before walking over to Jimmies' parking lot where her bike was parked. Looking up at the sky line it was still pitch black, but the slight lightening of the sky towards the east, hinting that sunrise would not be too far off. People in suits, kids in street clothes and the odd homeless person roamed the streets already. It seemed to me that New York was indeed the city that never slept, and with no small amount of irony I placed myself into that category as well.
With a small humorless snort, I shrugged my shoulders and started making my way home.
AN: Thank you for reading. As I said above, this is the first time I've written anything in three years, so I hope you like it. Any review or criticism is greatly welcomed. As I do not have a beta or an editor at the moment, I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, and if any are found I ask that they be pointed out to me so they may be fixed. I hope you enjoyed, and I hope to have chapter 2 up within the next few days as I am on vacation and should have some free time.