Stand Inside Your Love
Song fic by,
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Ronins. Also, this is a song fic…and Stand Inside Your
Love is a song by The Smashing Pumpkins. Glad I got that all cleared up.
"You and me
Meant to be
Immutable
Impossible
It's destiny
Pure lunacy
Incalculable
Insufferable..."
He sat there, head bowed slightly foreword. His blue-green eyes were closed against the
light thrown across the paper in front of him. The tiny desk lamp was the only
illumination in the dim room, and it's harsh brightness hurt just then. An anonymous
letter sat on his desk. It didn't say much, but it said enough.
"But for the last time
You're every thing that I want and ask for
You're all that I dreamed..."
Whoever had written it must have known him from collage, or perhaps had seen him on
one of his frequent trips to the beach. Whoever it was, they knew about him and his
girlfriend. Or should he say, ex-girlfriend. The letter in itself confused him. Why
would anyone have sent this to him? Why now? Why him?
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love?
Protected and a lover of
A pure soul, and beautiful you..."
It had been a hard breakup. He'd never been through a rougher one. There had been
screaming, yes, and tears on both sides. He'd stormed home, an unusual state for him.
He rarely stormed. Then again, he'd never walked in on a girlfriend kissing another guy
when he had been on his way to propose to her before. That had been two days ago,
and the wounds in his heart were still fresh.
He knew he'd been a zombie as he'd gone from class to class for the past few days.
When Kento had come to visit yesterday his buoyant cheeriness couldn't penetrate
Cye's gloom. In an attempt to lighten his spirits Kento had dragged him out to a
nightclub.
That had been a disaster in itself. As the fates would have it, (And don't they always?)
she had been there with her new boyfriend. And it wasn't even the guy she'd been
kissing last time he'd seen her! He'd lasted all of five seconds inside that place before he
turned and walked out.
Kento had followed him as soon as he noticed what had made Cye leave in such a hurry.
"I'm sorry man, I thought a night out would cheer ya up."
Cye had waved him off. "It's alright. You didn't know." He had paused for a moment,
then took a small box out of his pocket. He didn't know why he'd continued to carry
it. Wishful thinking he supposed. He handed it to Kento.
"I had meant to give this to her yesterday." Cye had said before Kento had had a chance
to make a crack about Cye proposing to him. "Now I know I won't be able to. Maybe it
will give you better luck when you find someone you want to give it to."
Kento had just nodded.
"Don't understand
Don't feel me now
I will breathe
For the both of us..."
Cye had come home and thrown himself into his bed. He'd fallen asleep choking on his
tears some time later that night. It could have been hours, it could have been fifteen
minutes, he hadn't given a dam. He had sobbed so hard he'd been unable to breath and
had felt as if his heart were slowly turning to a block of solid ice. He'd prayed that the
sun wouldn't rise so he wouldn't have to face another day without her. His dreams had
been fitful; they'd been of her standing on the beach under a start-studded sky.
"Travel the world
Traverse the skies
Your home is here
Within my heart..."
He'd awoken to a terrible headache to the garish light of day. He'd pulled himself out of
bed and forced himself to take a shower. The water was like a blessed friend, caressing
his naked and vulnerable body. When he finally stepped out and dried himself off he
was out of hot water.
He'd dressed in the first cloths he happened to pull out of his closet and shuffled into
the kitchen. He halfheartedly munched on a cold pop tart, and wound up throwing half
of it away from disinterest. It just wasn't worth eating that day. He didn't have any
classes, blissfully. He was supposed to be out on a picnic, a romantic date…He found
himself flopped on the couch with a book lying open on his chest. He'd gotten through
the first sentence, and that was it.
"And for the first time
I feel as though I am reborn
In my mind
Recast as child and mystic sage..."
(Obligatory Sage mention here.)
He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to think about something other than her.
The phone's ringing made him jump so high he toppled off the side of his couch. With a
groan he picked up the receiver and put it to his ear.
"Moshi. Moshi." He'd said in a dull voice.
"Cye? What happened?" Sage's voice was instantly concerned.
"She's gone Sage. I went to her place to surprise her." Cye recounted the tale; now and
then pausing to choke back a few blistering tears.
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love..."
Sage had done his best to console him over the phone line, and when they'd hung up
Cye had felt a bit better for pouring his heart out. Not much though. He'd gone out for
a long walk. He didn't return for hours, and if asked he wouldn't have been able to say
where he'd been. He just knew that he had been. Somewhere. Earth he assumed, but
these days he wasn't to sure any more.
It was dark now; the sun had set some time ago. He returned to his apartment and
found a note had been pushed under his front door. It had been typed up, the only part
done by hand and been the words, "A Friend," they had been signed with a flourish so
as to disguise the mark of their maker.
"And for the first time
I'm telling you how much I need and bleed for
Your every move and waking sound..."
He'd carried the note to his room. The desk lamp was the only light he'd bothered to
turn on in the whole apartment. He'd read and re-read the few simple lines on the scrap
of paper until his head hurt.
"In my time
I'll wrap my wire around your heart and your mind
You're mine forever now..."
He didn't know how to deal with this one. It read simply enough:
"You've been hurt, we all hurt. But you, you are different. You are not made to hurt
this way; you were made to be loved. And who wouldn't love you? Who wouldn't want to
be loved by you? You always will be loved, never forget that."
That was it. That was all. Somehow he didn't know weather to accept it as a warm
message, or to crumple the note and toss it away.
"Who wouldn't be the one you love and live for?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love and die for..."
There was a simple message in the note. He crumpled it in his hand until it was a tight
paper ball. Tears again began to slide down his face. "How could she?" He asked
again. Finally, instead of throwing the note into the trash he just dropped it into a
desk drawer. He watched it roll around for a moment, then slammed the drawer shut. He sighed and
flicked off the desk lamp. He'd have to get up early tomorrow and go to class. He'd
have go get up and live his life. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it, but he couldn't
hide from tomorrow any more than the next guy. In the dark he found the way to his
bed and curled up on it. He closed his eyes against the new wave of tears.
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?"
Song fic by,
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Ronins. Also, this is a song fic…and Stand Inside Your
Love is a song by The Smashing Pumpkins. Glad I got that all cleared up.
"You and me
Meant to be
Immutable
Impossible
It's destiny
Pure lunacy
Incalculable
Insufferable..."
He sat there, head bowed slightly foreword. His blue-green eyes were closed against the
light thrown across the paper in front of him. The tiny desk lamp was the only
illumination in the dim room, and it's harsh brightness hurt just then. An anonymous
letter sat on his desk. It didn't say much, but it said enough.
"But for the last time
You're every thing that I want and ask for
You're all that I dreamed..."
Whoever had written it must have known him from collage, or perhaps had seen him on
one of his frequent trips to the beach. Whoever it was, they knew about him and his
girlfriend. Or should he say, ex-girlfriend. The letter in itself confused him. Why
would anyone have sent this to him? Why now? Why him?
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love?
Protected and a lover of
A pure soul, and beautiful you..."
It had been a hard breakup. He'd never been through a rougher one. There had been
screaming, yes, and tears on both sides. He'd stormed home, an unusual state for him.
He rarely stormed. Then again, he'd never walked in on a girlfriend kissing another guy
when he had been on his way to propose to her before. That had been two days ago,
and the wounds in his heart were still fresh.
He knew he'd been a zombie as he'd gone from class to class for the past few days.
When Kento had come to visit yesterday his buoyant cheeriness couldn't penetrate
Cye's gloom. In an attempt to lighten his spirits Kento had dragged him out to a
nightclub.
That had been a disaster in itself. As the fates would have it, (And don't they always?)
she had been there with her new boyfriend. And it wasn't even the guy she'd been
kissing last time he'd seen her! He'd lasted all of five seconds inside that place before he
turned and walked out.
Kento had followed him as soon as he noticed what had made Cye leave in such a hurry.
"I'm sorry man, I thought a night out would cheer ya up."
Cye had waved him off. "It's alright. You didn't know." He had paused for a moment,
then took a small box out of his pocket. He didn't know why he'd continued to carry
it. Wishful thinking he supposed. He handed it to Kento.
"I had meant to give this to her yesterday." Cye had said before Kento had had a chance
to make a crack about Cye proposing to him. "Now I know I won't be able to. Maybe it
will give you better luck when you find someone you want to give it to."
Kento had just nodded.
"Don't understand
Don't feel me now
I will breathe
For the both of us..."
Cye had come home and thrown himself into his bed. He'd fallen asleep choking on his
tears some time later that night. It could have been hours, it could have been fifteen
minutes, he hadn't given a dam. He had sobbed so hard he'd been unable to breath and
had felt as if his heart were slowly turning to a block of solid ice. He'd prayed that the
sun wouldn't rise so he wouldn't have to face another day without her. His dreams had
been fitful; they'd been of her standing on the beach under a start-studded sky.
"Travel the world
Traverse the skies
Your home is here
Within my heart..."
He'd awoken to a terrible headache to the garish light of day. He'd pulled himself out of
bed and forced himself to take a shower. The water was like a blessed friend, caressing
his naked and vulnerable body. When he finally stepped out and dried himself off he
was out of hot water.
He'd dressed in the first cloths he happened to pull out of his closet and shuffled into
the kitchen. He halfheartedly munched on a cold pop tart, and wound up throwing half
of it away from disinterest. It just wasn't worth eating that day. He didn't have any
classes, blissfully. He was supposed to be out on a picnic, a romantic date…He found
himself flopped on the couch with a book lying open on his chest. He'd gotten through
the first sentence, and that was it.
"And for the first time
I feel as though I am reborn
In my mind
Recast as child and mystic sage..."
(Obligatory Sage mention here.)
He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to think about something other than her.
The phone's ringing made him jump so high he toppled off the side of his couch. With a
groan he picked up the receiver and put it to his ear.
"Moshi. Moshi." He'd said in a dull voice.
"Cye? What happened?" Sage's voice was instantly concerned.
"She's gone Sage. I went to her place to surprise her." Cye recounted the tale; now and
then pausing to choke back a few blistering tears.
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love..."
Sage had done his best to console him over the phone line, and when they'd hung up
Cye had felt a bit better for pouring his heart out. Not much though. He'd gone out for
a long walk. He didn't return for hours, and if asked he wouldn't have been able to say
where he'd been. He just knew that he had been. Somewhere. Earth he assumed, but
these days he wasn't to sure any more.
It was dark now; the sun had set some time ago. He returned to his apartment and
found a note had been pushed under his front door. It had been typed up, the only part
done by hand and been the words, "A Friend," they had been signed with a flourish so
as to disguise the mark of their maker.
"And for the first time
I'm telling you how much I need and bleed for
Your every move and waking sound..."
He'd carried the note to his room. The desk lamp was the only light he'd bothered to
turn on in the whole apartment. He'd read and re-read the few simple lines on the scrap
of paper until his head hurt.
"In my time
I'll wrap my wire around your heart and your mind
You're mine forever now..."
He didn't know how to deal with this one. It read simply enough:
"You've been hurt, we all hurt. But you, you are different. You are not made to hurt
this way; you were made to be loved. And who wouldn't love you? Who wouldn't want to
be loved by you? You always will be loved, never forget that."
That was it. That was all. Somehow he didn't know weather to accept it as a warm
message, or to crumple the note and toss it away.
"Who wouldn't be the one you love and live for?
Who wouldn't stand inside your love and die for..."
There was a simple message in the note. He crumpled it in his hand until it was a tight
paper ball. Tears again began to slide down his face. "How could she?" He asked
again. Finally, instead of throwing the note into the trash he just dropped it into a
desk drawer. He watched it roll around for a moment, then slammed the drawer shut. He sighed and
flicked off the desk lamp. He'd have to get up early tomorrow and go to class. He'd
have go get up and live his life. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it, but he couldn't
hide from tomorrow any more than the next guy. In the dark he found the way to his
bed and curled up on it. He closed his eyes against the new wave of tears.
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?"