Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just borrowing the crew for my own entertainment.
A/N: The first thing I've written in 2010. The first time I've written anything for Gilmore Girls in over a year. 'Nuff said.
Another short, cutesy, one-shot in the Little Surprise universe. May-ish
Bad Feminist
"I always wonder who decided that the mommy needs to carry the baby."
"Its nature, Ace. Besides, you look cute pregnant." Logan smiled at Rory, who was getting to be quite huge.
"It doesn't make any sense. It is anti-Feminist. Women and men are equal! Men should carry the babies."
"It does make sense. Boys don't have the right parts to carry babies. If we were sea horses, then I could carry the baby. But seeing as to how we're not, you just need to suck it up. Sorry babe."
Rory didn't respond for a few minutes. Instead, she concentrated on eating her rocky-road/coffee ice cream masterpiece, before it melted beyond deliciousness. "Maybe we should conduct a science experiment."
"We don't like science. Remember, how we agreed that cooking is like science, which is why you're not good at it?"
"That was different, Logan. That was a complex recipe with words like "reduction" and "flambé" in it. This is different."
"How is this different? Wait—what is this science experiment even about?"
"It's a mommy and daddy experiment. I thought of it when I was watching reruns of Glee to get ready for the new episodes."
"I am convinced that Sue Sylvester is my father's soul mate. I swear, those two could out maneuver each other."
"Loooogan, you're missing the point. I want you to get a belly like Terri's and wear it around constantly, so you can see what it feels like to be a mommy."
"You want me to wear a fake pregnancy belly?"
"Yes."
"Everywhere?"
"Yes."
"Even to work?"
"Yeah. Why not? I have to wear my belly all the time."
"OK. One more question. Will you come to work, and play with me during recess, when all my coworkers laugh their heads off, and refuse to speak to me?"
"It will be good for our relationship. Don't you want us to have a strong marriage?"
Logan realized that his slightly crazy wife was about to burst into tears, convinced that he didn't love her, and wouldn't do anything for her. "Of course I want us to have a strong marriage. But I also want my coworkers to take me seriously. And much as I love you, and want to support you through this pregnancy thing, I can't wear a fake pregnancy belly."
"But Terri does it, and no one laughs at her."
"Come on, Ace. No whining. Besides, Terri is a girl. Girls are pregnant all the time—boys aren't."
"You don't love me!" Rory flounced out of the room, and slammed the door to their bedroom.
--
The phone rang insistently.
"Hello? Huntzberger residence."
"Huntzberger? Really? You live in such a patriarchal bubble, Logan. You should pick up the phone and say, "Gilmore-Huntzberger". If you don't say Gilmore then Rory won't be properly represented. What if someone wants to call Rory, and you say Huntzberger, and the person thinks that they have the wrong number? Then they'll hang up, and dial again, and get you again. And it will keep going and going in a vicious cycle, and the poor dialer will never be spared."
"Well, the caller will probably let me get a word in edge wise, and I'll give Rory the phone."
"You can only give Rory the phone if she's talking to you."
"She is talking to me."
"Really? Because Rory seemed pretty upset to me, when she called me in tears. She told me that you are a bad feminist, and you don't want the baby, and you're not getting a divorce."
"She wants me to wear Terri's pregnancy belly to work!"
"That sounds fun. If you're pregnant, you can always get people to do things for you. I wonder if it still works if you're a pregnant boy?"
"Lorelai, I am not going to put the belly on."
"Well, son-in-law, you best figure out something soon. Rory is UPSET."
--
"Ace."
"Yes."
"I know you're upset. And I know you're feeling hormonal, and vulnerable, but we need to talk."
"No."
"Isn't there anything I could do to make you feel better?"
"Belly."
--
And that was how it happened, that on Monday morning, Logan Huntzberger wore a pregnancy belly and maternity top to work.
There are pictures—just ask Finn.
