SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT by AliLamba
notes: mysilverylining made me do it. Then nightlocktime made me finish it.
rated T for language and stuff.
Veronica thinks she's figured out the absolute worst thing about Neptune High.
It isn't the rampant hormonal teenagers, or the politics, the backstabbing, the homophobia, or the crimes against humanity… No.
It's…the school festivals.
"I'm signed up for what?"
Madison Sinclair is grinning at her in a way Veronica's seen a cartoon cat grin at a cartoon canary.
"Kissing booth," Madison declares again, brushing a wave of fake blond hair over her shoulder. She purses her glossed lips in a deeply satisfied way, gathers what's left of her supplies and stands from her sign-up booth. When she plucks a sheet of paper from her stack and hands it over, Veronica accepts it blindly.
"Enjoy the herpes, Veronica Mars."
Madison escapes with some gaggling girlfriends, but Veronica doesn't watch them go.
She clenches her jaw together so firmly she thinks it might be permanently locked. She'll have to eat through a straw.
Kissing booth? Yeah right. Yeah freaking right. As if anyone ever did anything like that anymore. The piece of paper inexplicably crumples in her fist, her fingers tugging it into a tightly wadded ball of bright salmon-colored paper.
Veronica glares down the hall in the direction of the principal's office. It's almost the end of lunchtime, but she knows where Principal Clemmons eats his egg salad sandwich.
A few months ago, the school secretary learned to ignore Veronica Mars unless specifically addressed with a question. It just wasn't worth the induced headache. Veronica swings open her principal's inner office door like an angry little dust devil.
"Kissing booth?" she seethes, catching Clemmons mid-chew. A piece of tomato falls out of the corner of his mouth.
He rights himself quickly enough, putting aside his lunch and wiping his mouth with a napkin. When he looks her in the eye again he's composed himself, putting her fury in context.
"It's kissing on the cheek, Miss Mars."
Veronica curls her arms around her chest and fixes him with a glare. "Still."
Principal Clemmons sighs and casts a longing glance at his lunch. "Still what Miss Mars? Or is this where you suddenly feel like explaining to me how your permanent file went missing for three days?"
Veronica's frown softens. Everyone is entitled to a few bad ideas, right? She'd just wanted to know what it said in case she had to defend herself on a college application. But then of course there had been that incident with the raccoon and the silly putty, and well… Clemmons had tried to add a line item to her file without knowing the manila folder with her name on it was in Veronica's sock drawer back at home. Hence the mandatory sign up for the Valentine's Day fair, hence being at the mercy of Madison Sinclair, hence the kissing booth that apparently meant she'd have to buy a gallon of cheek wash.
"You know I'm going to make no money whatsoever. No one at this school is going to want to pay to kiss me."
He opens his mouth to correct her.
"Even on the cheek!" she adds, frustrated.
Principal Clemmons sets his mouth in a grim line. "I'm sure I do not think about my student's proclivities for kissing even in the slightest, Miss Mars. I'm sure everything will be fine. And if you'd like a change of assignment, feel free to bring it up with Miss Sinclair, because it's up to her. For now, there will be mandatory school functions until you feel like being more forthcoming with information about the raccoon."
Veronica tugs her beanie further down her ears. She looks left, then looks right, and then skips through the alley between booths. The one she's been assigned to is tucked toward the middle, which frustrates her. She's also been the subject of her classmate's promotional materials to advertise the fair for the past two days, which frustrates her more.
More than once she'd almost given into the temptation and begged Madison Sinclair for a different assignment. She thought of volunteering to do clean-up at midnight. Or taking care of the animal farm. Or being this year's dunk girl. Anything to avoid skeevy guys in the hall puckering their lips at her in passing, promising to do something gross when the opportunity came.
Veronica turns the corner to her part of the fair, and then catches a hand to her chest in relief.
"Ohthankgod," she expels under her breath.
Duncan Kane is there to save her at last.
Her shoulders relax, and her back slumps, and Veronica practically drags her feet as she walks to the bright pink booth decorated with hearts and flowers.
"I was starting to think I'd actually have to do this," Veronica jokes, drawing Duncan's attention. They'd been flirting for a few weeks, and all signs were pointing to the fact that they'd probably be getting back together soon. It couldn't come soon enough, as far as Veronica was concerned.
Duncan smiles when he sees her, but he doesn't say anything. And then he does this confusing thing where he presses his lips together, raises his eyebrows, and shrugs as if to say…
"No," Veronica gapes. "You too?"
Duncan laughs. "They had to have a guy volunteer. I thought, this way…I could protect you."
Veronica leans back on her heels and crosses her arms over her chest. She wants to say something persnickety like Protect me from guys with cheek fetishes? but she decides against it. It's sweet of him to want to protect her like this, and again she feels that fluttering in her belly because Duncan, the nicest guy she knows, has an obvious crush on her.
Duncan checks his watch. "Well, I guess we should get ready," he says, and Veronica checks her own watch and has to agree. She makes her way behind their booth, finding their cash box (decorated with fuzz balls and cupid stickers, naturally), and the pair of stools for them to sit on. Duncan takes his own and checks his breath, tugging his crisp collar against his neck.
Veronica can smell his cologne, and it makes her feel uncomfortable because now she knows that despite the fact that this is a school function, and it doesn't mean anything, she's dressed up a little too.
Veronica shrugs out of her zip-up hoodie and takes off her beanie. It's a warm night, so she's only got on the sort of tank top with spaghetti straps to go with her jeans and strappy sandals. She takes her stool, and slides her lips together to make sure her chapstick is still on. She'd gone with the one that's tinted because she wants proof in case anyone decides to get frisky.
Her eyes san the grounds, as if someone is going to pounce on her already. Her shoulders are hunched, and her muscles are unconsciously tensed.
"Got a breath mint?"
Duncan was sometimes really good at breaking the tension. Veronica laughs under her breath, and pulls out a tiny cassette of tic-tacs.
She pours one into his palm, and then she pours one into her own. "Here's hoping we don't even need these," she toasts, and they take their mints together.
Duncan checks his watch a few seconds later. "I think the doors are going to open soon," he says. He looks her over, and offers her a small, reassuring smile. "You look nice."
Veronica feels her cheeks warm a little. It's an unexpected compliment. "Thanks," she says, and she smiles shyly in return. "You too."
The ambient music starts up in the speakers littered throughout the fair, and they both know the time has come.
"Here we go…" Duncan says ominously, and Veronica swallows against her dry throat.
Fifty-seven minutes later, and there is a meeting of the worlds in front of the Neptune High Kissing Booth.
Duncan's line is filled with the prettiest, bravest girls in school, all jockeying for position as they spray themselves with perfume and reapply lip gloss.
Veronica's line is filled with all the boys who have never kissed a girl in real life. Over the internet, sure. Lifelike dolls, of course. Real, flesh and blood females? They were about to get their shot.
"It's five dollars, Steven," Veronica is saying, trying to dissuade Steven Barnam from trying to kiss without paying…again.
"Oh. Right," he says, digging through his pockets with sweaty fingers, pushing his glasses up his nose with pennies stuck to his palms.
Veronica sighs internally, and turns her cheek to accept his mouth after accepting his money. She winces when he throws some tongue in with his dry lips, and she has to curl her fingers against her thighs so as not to pull back right away.
"That was good, Steven, thanks!" she says, a little too abruptly. She pulls back and tries to ignore the way he looks dazed, like he's just had the best experience of his life. Steven wanders away looking lost in the clouds.
Veronica checks to see who's behind him, and is relieved to see no one else in her line. Then she looks to where Duncan is sitting next to her, and how he's flirting shamelessly with some girl from Veronica's PE class whose name Veronica cannot recall at the moment. Maybe she can't recall the girl's name because the girl is fingering Duncan's lapel as if they're on their third date rather than their third kiss on the cheek.
Veronica sighs and looks to Duncan's line, which is still filled with at least twenty breathless females waiting for their turn.
She drums her fingers along her thighs and debates what to do with her time. She brought some homework with her…is it too lame to do homework in public these days?
"Well I do declare," a voice cries out. "I believe I see a lady left all on her lonesome."
Veronica narrows her eyes at Logan as he makes his way through the crowd in her direction.
Of course.
"What do you want Logan?"
He emerges with a small group of hangers on: Dick, Beaver, Sean, Luke and Brett, a few doting girlfriends tagging behind. Not the people she'd most like to run into these days, not anywhere. Least of all a place where they can openly humiliate her, like here.
"Well I just wanted to make sure you weren't being accosted by the perviest of Neptune High." He makes a grand show of looking around, trying to find the people who are interested in kissing her. "Looks like my work here is done."
"Yeah, Logan, I get it," she says, casting a sideways glance to make sure no one else is coming out of the woodwork. She's pretty sure she just saw John Needlemyer take one look at Logan and turn tail. "And I wish I could make your night by being disappointed with the lack of turn out, but I'm not."
"Lack of turn out?" he asks, as if standing in front of an audience. For all intents and purposes, with friends like his, Logan basically has one all the time. "Oh, but Miss Veronica Mars how you doubt our school spirit!"
Before she's able to rally a response, Logan slips a folded five dollar bill from his pocket and waves it through the air like a magic wand.
"I do believe this is the going rate?"
Veronica grits her teeth and stares into Logan's dark eyes.
"Leave her alone, Logan."
Everyone's a little surprised to hear Duncan intervene, not least of all Becky Foggler, who was just puckering her lips for Duncan's freshly shaved face.
"It's fine, Duncan," Veronica says, intending to be heard only by her booth mate.
"Yeah, Duncan, it's fine," a new voice says, and then Madison Sinclair is pushing someone aside to be seen by everyone else. "This is what she's signed up for, after all."
"I'm signed up to allow guys to slobber on the side of my face for five bucks a pop," Veronica argues. "Nowhere in my contract does it say I have to put up with Logan's crap."
Madison has a glint in her eye that Veronica doesn't like. "Oh, but that's where you're wrong, Veronica Mars. You see, I'm controlling this little event, and I say that Logan can pay to do whatever he wants."
Veronica's jaw drops open.
"You can't do that," she protests.
Madison looks purely evil. "Watch me."
Poor Becky Foggler is pouting, but Duncan isn't paying any attention to her. No one is paying attention to Becky Foggler, and all eyes are trained on Veronica Mars and Madison Sinclair, who may or may not engage in an imminent cat fight.
"You can't do that," Veronica insists again.
"Oh," Madison mocks, "would you like me to call Principal Clemmons and ask him? I'm sure he'd love to hear about how you're not participating."
Veronica weighs her options. On the one hand, she really doesn't like the idea that she could potentially be an open target for anyone at her school with a pocketful of cash. She doesn't think her stun gun is adequately charged for that. On the other hand, another week with a clean nose and she gets let off with a warning about the raccoon, and, well…that means something to her these days. Maybe because her school file is so heavy already.
"It's five dollars for a peck on the cheek, Logan," she says to him, and Logan shrugs, as if that's all he wanted in the first place. He drops his bill into the cash box, and leans against her booth.
"We really must stop meeting like this, Miss Mars," he says, which maybe under other circumstances would have made her smirk. Now she simply heaves a small sigh, turns her cheek to him, closes her eyes, and waits.
…And waits.
"Logan if you're going to kiss me—"
She makes the mistake of turning to look at him, and he catches her lips with his mid-word.
Veronica is at first so surprised, her mouth is immobile, pursed around the u-syllable, as in you better do it soon or…else. Her eyes are open wide, and his are closed, but then he's drawing her lips into moving with his unintentionally.
Her ears finally unfog, and suddenly Veronica can hear the cat calls, and the whoops coming from all around her. And then before she knows what's happening Logan is being yanked away from her, and before her eyes Duncan is throwing Logan across the pavement and trying to throw a punch at his head. Logan is rallying, and then Duncan and Logan blend into a blur of fist fighting, leaving a wide berth of space around them in the middle of the school fair.
"Hey—" she tries to say, but the muscles around her vocal cord are a few steps in front of her brain, and everything is uncoordinated and functioning erratically. She stands from her stool, thinking she should do something, but she's preoccupied by the lingering sensation of Logan's lips on hers, and how she felt when he kissed her.
"That's enough!" an adult voice shouts over the crowd. "That's enough! Break it up, break it up!"
It's Principal Clemmons, and he's bringing a stark dose of reality with him. Veronica drops her hand from her lips and squares her shoulders, expecting punishment, or at the very least a direction to go back to her miserable booth job. Maybe she could parlay this into closing the booth for the evening.
"That's enough you two!" Clemmons shouts, pulling Logan off of Duncan, standing in between the two teenagers. Both boys are restless and breathing heavily, eyes locked on each other, clearly itching for more of a fight or regretting the hits they didn't get in before being interrupted.
"What is going on here?" Clemmons asks. Duncan and Logan look each other over.
"It's…it's nothing, Mr. Clemmons," Duncan says first, pulling away and tugging down his dress shirt. Logan similarly shrugs off Clemmons' hand and makes a half-hearted attempt to right his clothes.
"Nothing we couldn't handle Principal Clemmons," Madison adds, sounding sugar sweet. Veronica sneers at her when she thinks Clemmons isn't looking.
"Veronica I hope there's no trouble here," Clemmons says, warningly, and Veronica snaps her lips closed.
"No, everything's fine," she says, and off to their left there's another burgeoning of noise that draws Clemmons' attention. "Just that Madison Sinclair was trying to go above her station—"
"I'm sure it's fine, Miss Mars!" Clemmons says, and it's obvious that he's not listening. A new commotion has clearly broken out halfway across the fair, and he's desperate to resolve this situation and move onto the next. "Just – listen to whatever Miss Sinclair has in mind and I'm sure it'll be fine. Mister Echolls and Mister Kane, it goes without saying that I want to see you in my office first thing Monday morning! Mister Kane, I expected better of you."
"Wait, but!" Veronica protests, but Clemmons is already striding away. Because of his insufferably long legs, the ones that made chasing down delinquents so much easier in his youth, he disappears quickly.
Veronica shuts her eyes tight and her muscles go taut. She doesn't want to look at Madison, but she knows it'll be worse if she tries to ignore the girl.
"Well, Madison?" she says. Veronica opens her eyes and looks into the gleaming eyes of her opponent, fantasies of all the things she could do with pig's blood running through her head. "I sure hope you're planning on being an adult with all this newfound responsibility."
Madison snorts. "Like hell I am. Logan, what do you want."
There are renewed howls from the boys Logan travels with, like wolves in a pack.
Logan pretends to examine his options. He spares a glance at Duncan, who looks like he could start steaming at the ears pretty soon. Duncan's fists are curled against his sides, as if desperate to throw another punch, and Veronica suddenly gets the impression that she's an irrelevant pawn in Logan and Duncan's game.
"Well let's see…how does fifty bucks for some tongue action sound?"
"No, no way, no way in hell—"
"Sounds just fine, Logan," Madison interrupts, and all eyes turn to Veronica Mars, who is standing behind her booth turning red in the face.
Veronica feels their stares. She realizes she has two options: she can run and hide, or she can simply nut up.
Veronica closes her eyes, presses her lips together, and breathes very evenly through her nose.
She tries to tell herself that she's fine with all of this. After all, she and Logan have kissed before. They've made out plenty of times. But that was before. That was before everything happened with his dad and the goons who still follow him around, and before she'd started dating Duncan again, and before she and Duncan had broken up over a technicality she can't quite remember at the moment.
Veronica opens her eyes and sees Logan stalking toward her, holding up a tight handful of cash that he shoves into her cashbox.
And before she has time to give him any sort of parameters for what he can and cannot do to her, he grabs her by both shoulders and slips his face against hers again.
Their mouths touch, and there's no mistaking his intentions when he starts drawing her lips in tempo with his own, manipulating them open and sliding his tongue against hers. It's a sick ritual made more sickening by the fact that Logan doesn't suck at this. He never has. And like this, in front of everyone, he's no less able to make her forget her surroundings and make her think only what he wants her to think: namely, what he's doing with his mouth. Before she knows it Veronica is kissing back, and Logan is pulling her across the booth and into his arms.
Reality bounces back in when her knees hit the edge of the hard folding table that makes her station. Veronica pulls back on a gasp, realizing her feet are off the ground and that there are people everywhere staring at her locked in a romantic embrace.
Her wide eyes try to see past Logan's shoulders, but then she looks up at his face, and is perhaps more shocked to see the smug look of satisfaction he wears. It's an unnervingly affectionate expression, and it's almost more terrifying than knowing she's just made out in public.
She pulls back, pushing her tiny hands against his chest to get away. Logan lets her go, but a look in his eyes lets her know she won't get far.
"There," she says, wiping at her mouth, her voice sounding shaky even though she's back on solid ground. "Are you satisfied? Are we done yet?"
"You're done," a voice interjects. Veronica and Logan both turn their heads at Duncan's voice. Duncan looks dangerously pissed, his shoulders hunched and his eyes dark. Becky Foggler is still harrumphing around his side of the booth as if still expecting to get her turn.
"Oh, I'm not sure the lady's done," Logan drawls. Veronica realizes he still has a hand on the small of her back, and she pushes him away with gusto until he's a few staggered steps away from her booth.
"I uh, I believe that's up to me?" Madison says, her voice sounding small, like she didn't ask for all the responsibility she's been given. Everyone looks to her, while she pretends to make up her mind.
"And I say that Logan can spend his money however he wants."
Logan grins like he's been given the keys to his daddy's new car. Duncan's eyes go wide, and he squares his shoulders intimidatingly. His nostrils flare, as if he'd really like to throw another punch, but his brain is short-circuiting in an attempt to override the impulse.
"Well I guess you couldn't get her to kiss you any other way, now could you!"
It's a challenge, and everyone knows it. And because they're all in high school and don't know any better, all of Logan's friends find this impressive. Ooohs echo from all around the two male teens, much to Madison Sinclair's sheer delight.
"Duncan—" Veronica tries to say, but no one's paying much attention to her anymore.
"Five hundred bucks!" Logan calls out, staring directly into Duncan's eyes. "For the rest of the night with her. And if I can't get her to kiss me for real before the end of the night, then I'll give another five hundred to you." He dips his head in some weird sense of ritual, never breaking eye contact with his former friend. "Good sir."
Duncan presses his lips together and shakes his head distractedly, and Veronica knows he's searching his mind for any reason to say no to Logan's terms. It's a stupid idea, and Veronica feels stupidly caught in the middle of it.
"Fine."
Veronica swings her head to look at Duncan, and it makes her realize she'd been looking at Logan. "What?" she yells. She turns to look at Madison, who looks on the verge of cackling with glee.
"No, look, my booth, I can't just leave my booth—"
"I'll take over your booth," Madison supplies, a noticeable skip in her step as she sashays to Veronica's empty stool. She primps her hair, and immediately a long line of boys amasses right in front of her. Madison looks pointedly at Veronica. "You have fun sweetheart."
"Duncan—" Veronica says again, reaching out to her ex-boyfriend, the one who has a crush on her, the one who she wishes she was already in a relationship with because then none of this would be happening…
Duncan is smirking at Logan. "It's fine, Veronica," he says, and his intentions are obvious. He doesn't think Logan has it in him to woo her, and Duncan wants the proof of that. If it means essentially whoring out Veronica to prove his own dominant masculinity, then so be it.
Veronica frowns. She feels a helpless frustration churning in her belly, and she shakes it off with upturned hands. "Fine!" she shouts. "Fine." She bends at the waist and grabs her shoulder bag, throwing it over her arm with a glare at Madison's perfect profile.
"Enjoy the herpes, Madison Sinclair," Veronica taunts, but the insult seems to bounce right off the other girl.
"Enjoy your date, Veronica Mars. I'm sure it'll be the only one you get this year."
Veronica rolls her eyes in helpless disgust. When she walks around the booth, trying to shake off the feelings of ickiness that accompany one of the few people on this earth Veronica has the good pleasure to loathe, she finds two men watching her. Duncan and Logan look a little ruffled, but no worse for wear. Duncan looks like he'll have half a black eye in the morning, and Logan looks like he lost a few buttons, but they're undeniably handsome men and they're both looking at her.
What's curious here is the change of roles. Duncan usually looks so friendly and inviting, but now he looks cold and guarded. Logan is now the one holding a hand out to her, smiling softly, as if he's happy to see her. She glances at Duncan strangely, and then ignores Logan's outstretched hand.
"She'll tell the truth, you know," Duncan says to Logan, not taking his eyes off Veronica. "If you can't get her to kiss you, she'll say so."
Veronica frowns, confused by this attitude of his.
Logan finds Veronica's hand and kisses her knuckles. "I don't doubt it," he says, and then he pulls her against his torso, and slides an arm around her waist. He starts walking away, compelling Veronica to follow.
"See you in three hours!" Logan calls out, using his free hand to salute the air at his passing. Veronica looks over her shoulder in time to see Duncan stalk back to his booth, and to a slightly deflated looking Becky Foggler.