Great Expectations
They are up way later than they should, and neither cares. Not that it really matters — Nagisa started drifting into sleep ten exercises ago, every bit as clingy and confused as is to be expected.
So much for their second revision.
He rests on Rei's back with his whole weight, randomly grasping at his shirt and hair for support. Despite the resolve to shake him off dramatically, he has a hard time leaving his sitting position — he never has the heart to disturb Nagisa's peaceful breathing, not after all he has been through. Then again, as long as his bones don't break, he does not care that much either.
"Rei-chan?"
The slurred sound of his name comes from somewhere near his right shoulder. He can feel Nagisa's cheek slipping downwards, threatening to bang against the floor. Typical.
Rei chuckles, subtly moving to support his head better.
"What is it?"
"Are you nervous, Rei-chan?"
Nagisa's grip grows tighter from time to time, in and out of sleep, and Rei is not even sure whether answering is worth it or not. It is not a new question, but it still leaves him uncertain. It is too late for rational reasoning on his emotions — or for any doubts to make sense, for that matter.
His task was sealed months ago. But talking makes him feel better, whether Nagisa is listening or not, and he goes ahead.
"A little," he admits, staring at the floor. "I know I shouldn't be, but… well, I guess it can't be helped."
He laughs a little, nervously, but no intelligible reaction arrives. A steadier bear hug doesn't really count.
"You know I have much to live up to, don't you, Nagisa-kun?" he asks, not expecting him to reply. "It's not that I am not happy with my choice. I just- I just want to keep our club as amazing as ever. I don't want the new members to meet me tomorrow and be already disappointed in me."
"Hmmmm?"
The long moan ends up in a snort, as Nagisa jerks awake for about half a second. Rei does not expect him to stay so. He lets his head fall back to his shoulder, heavy as stone, and keeps speaking after a long sigh.
"I will do my best, you know," he softly promises, more to himself than to his friend. "I have trained long and hard for this, so I could be ready for anything. I won't disappoint you. I have to admit, I am not fully convinced I am the right person for this. Not yet. Even so… you know what the team is worth to me."
He remembers long nights of training, under the moon and the neon lights, and sorts through everything Rin has told him about. Despite the weight of responsibility, he really regrets nothing.
"I believe in us," he says happily. "Even though Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai aren't here anymore. I… I know I will miss them, and I certainly won't be as amazing as them, but-"
"No!" Nagisa yelps. "Captain Rei-chan is amazing! Captain…"
Rei nearly lets him fall, as surprise and embarrassment punch him straight in his chest. He goes over his words in slow-motion, and it feels like his brain has shut down — he has never been this grateful to Nagisa for being half-asleep and unable to see his face.
When he decides it is about time for Nagisa to put an end to the day, he is still blushing, and he takes the utmost care in turning around. But Nagisa slips from his shoulders before he has a chance to make him — Rei finds his purple eyes are open, if dimmed and clouded by sleep.
"Rei-chan," he yawns, rubbing them without much enthusiasm. "Were you talking to me?"
Rei waits for long moments, watching as Nagisa pats the nearby floor in search of his books. He cannot stop his lips from stretching in a smile.
"It is bedtime, Nagisa-kun. Let's go."
Random post-anime gen adorkableness with my favourite babbies and half-asleep Nagisa because I am depressed as hell today.