Ode à la Bouillabaisse Anglaise

by Abracadebra

"You'd be locked up in the British Isles if you gave that to people. Don't let the Germans get that, mate." A little ditty inspired by the best scene in "Gowns by Yvette" and an offhand quip by Snooky-9093.

Ode à la Bouillabaisse Anglaise

Inspired by and dedicated to Snooky-9093

Sung to the tune of "Les Poissons" from The Little Mermaid. which I most definitely don't own.

Les poissons, les poissons

You will eat les poissons

You will eat them in soup and in stew.

Don't make that face, Newkirk,

Must you be such a jerk?

I'm done wasting haute cuisine on you!

Les poissons, les poissons,

Bouillabaise maintenant!

I take pleasure in hearing you squeal.

I describe with delight

The magnificent sight

As I chop fish and slice up an eel.

I'm not sure how we got fresh seafood

It's a mystery we'll never solve.

Sacre bleu! Loaf in bed and watch me

As I scrub the mussels,

And crumble the saffron,

And dream about truffles.

Hey! Don't put your gas mask on!

Quelle joie! Here's a fish head,

Smells fine to me. Add une

Pince de homard juteuse

Oh, you're starting to feel a bit sick?

You don't like what I carve?

Quelle dommage, you can starve

For you, no poissons magnifiques!

You say it smells awful

You'd rather eat offal.

May your dinner get stuck in your throat!

You can eat liverwurst

In the mess hall and curse

When that swill makes you vomit, mon pote!

Author's note: Poissons, of course, are fish. Beyond that, most of the French words are familiar or understandable in context, except maybe une pince de homard juteuse – a lobster's claw.