Things you need to know about this story: This story takes place during the time frame when Lindsay was pregnant with Bo's child (Though I am hoping someone either changes the paternity or says Lindsay lied lol). What happened before with Nora and Jessica's pregnancies has been changed a little in that it was Nora who was hit with Dorian's car and not Jessica...meaning Megan lived and Matthew didn't. Jessica and Cristian are raising Megan as their own and are about to get married...I am making Megan about three in this. Nora has been living in Chicago with Rachel and her parents since Matthew died and Bo refused to speak to her so this is her first time back since her boy's funeral...and she isn't the same woman who left.

Chapter One

Written By Sharon

She still felt the wind flowing through her hair as she lifted the helmet from the head of her shoulder length auburn locks, and the bike came to a sudden stop. If anyone had asked her a year ago if she would ever own one of these once termed 'death machines', she would have told you that you were crazy. But that was a different time and a lot of things had changed since then.

She pulled off her black shades and straightened her dress. She had opted for a long red gown with spaghetti straps and embellished trimmings on the top. She paired it with her leather boots and the new leather jacket she had purchased on a whim. She wasn't trying to outdo the bride to be but she had to admit that she was hoping for a little recognition. She was a different person now…a lot less gullible. Harder maybe.

Slipping the present under her arm, she came around the front of the walkway. She took a quick glance in the pocket mirror she kept in her handbag as she ran a comb through her hair. She still remembered all the good times she had experienced here… She could never be away for so long that she wouldn't feel like she had stepped right back into the story like she had never left it…and that was what still scared her…those long buried emotions she could keep at bay in Chicago but never here…this was his town…she could never be this close to him without feeling those old embers...it was the proverbial elephant in the room…the reason she almost didn't come.

She took a deep breath as she approached the door-frame of Llanfair. "You can do this," she told herself quietly, as she knocked softly on that still familiar door; At the same time, she willed herself not to cry. There would plenty of time for that later, in the familiar solace of her loneliness, but for now, she was here to be the best bridesmaid she could possibly be. She had loved that girl since she was really little…she almost considered her one of her own…she wouldn't ruin this day for her…she wouldn't.

"Aunt Nora," Jessica beamed as she opened the door. "I was afraid you wouldn't make it."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," Nora said. "You're finally marrying Cristian. Where else would I be?"

A bright eyed little girl was now tugging on Jessica's leg. She lifted the girl into her arms and Nora had to force back tears. It was enough to break her heart open right then and there.

Nora leaned over and brushed the girl's hair out of her face. "You remember your Aunt Nora don't you," she asked?

"Mommy said you're sad. I don't want you to be sad anymore."

"I'll tell you what? I will try my best not to be sad today. How does that sound?"

Megan smiled happily and Jessica let her run back to the party. There was an awkward moment of silence before Nora spoke.

"I was a little surprised when you asked me to be a bridesmaid. I'm not sure I still belong in your family Jessica."

"Oh Hogwash," Viki said, as she joined her daughter. "Divorce or no divorce, you are still family. "

"Mom's right Aunt Nora. You've always been there for me. You belong in my wedding. I love you."

"I love you too," Nora said. "I love you both."

Viki leaned forward and embraced her best friend, followed by Jessica. "How are you doing," Viki asked her?

"You mean since…Since Matthew died? Not good. There are days when I wake up and the pain is a little less intense but I still miss him. I know the reasons he was conceived were all wrong but he was my son. I wanted him."

"Of course you did sweetheart. You didn't deserve to lose him...especially now that…"

"Now that Lindsay might be pregnant with Bo's child. It's okay Viki. You can say it. It's not like I don't know."

And then suddenly there he was with that same ridiculous smile on his face…and he was standing there with her…the same woman he had continually broken her heart with…like some constant reminder of how she would never be good enough for him… how she had failed him in every way she possibly could. Oh dear God, why must he still take her breath away? She hated him for giving up on them so easily but lord how she still wanted him. Maybe she always would.

"Hello Nora," he said, so nonchalantly, and she almost wanted to smack him for finding it so easy to let her go; It still killed her to know that Lindsay was living the life that she always wanted...it was almost like she stole it. She might be a terrible person but she couldn't help wishing for that miracle…that somehow, someway, that child Lindsay was carrying didn't belong to her husband…technically he was still her husband. The divorce wasn't final yet. She wouldn't go there tonight...not tonight, Jessica's night.

"Hello Bo," she said, in her best interpretation of a woman who wasn't affected by him. Liar, she thought. The moment Lindsay put her arm around Bo and smiled satisfactorily, Nora thought she would be sick. The ground beneath her feet began to shake so she quickly made an excuse and headed for the bathroom. She was now hunched over the toilet seat after losing what was left of her nerves in the bowl…Her head still there, so nobody could hear the tears she finally allowed to come. She shouldn't have come here. She knew it was much too soon to face him.

That was when she heard the door open and soon a familiar hand rested on her shoulder in a gesture of support. Of course it would be him. He always seemed to show up when she was breaking apart.

"Hank," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"I heard you might need a friend tonight," he said.

She took a deep breath as she faced him. "Does that mean you don't hate me too?"

"Oh baby, I don't think I could ever hate you. I hate that you hate you."

"I don't know how to stop Hank. I loved him so much and I wrecked everything. How am I supposed to live with that? How am I supposed to be okay with him hating me? How?"

"One step at a time baby," he said, as he reached out his hand for her to take. A couple of hours ago, she had been so strong… so sure she could do this...now she was crumbling in his arms. This was another reason she had stayed away...It was easier to be strong when she didn't have to see the man she still loved live his life without her...live his life with a woman who lived to destroy her.

Hank took his fingertips and brushed away her fallen tears…He, more then anyone, knew how much she was suffering. He had lost a marriage too.

"You are not broken Nora. You can do this."

She forced a smile but she knew it was weak. "Will you help me," she asked? "I feel like the whole world is watching me and I don't know how to be brave enough to do this...I thought I was prepared...I guess you can never be prepared to watch your husband love someone else. He's still my husband until the ink dries...and it hurts...it hurts so much."

Hank swept a hand through her hair as he looked into her eyes...He thought he was passed these feelings...the ones where he just wanted to hold her and make all of her pain stop...if only for a second.

"I wish I could tell you it gets better but the truth is...it doesn't get better...you just learn to survive."

He knew that when she cast her eyes downward, she was avoiding the words they both thought...that when you lost someone you loved, it felt like you were sinking. "I can't breathe," she finally whispered, and he closed the distance between them by tugging her around the waist and pulling her against him. She could feel his breath on her neck as she was pressed against the counter.

"You can do it Nora...You can breathe...Just Breathe," he whispered, capturing her mouth in a slow, sensual kiss...a kiss that left the promise of something more. She hadn't been kissed in so long. She was almost ashamed to admit that it felt good...he felt good. What the hell was wrong with her?