You made me human

Rated: T (Might go up…)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

--

This story was meant to be a one-shot, a sweet story about love. But I can't keep my fingers away from things I've finished, I always need to make improvements and I feel this story needs a little more work until I'm satisfied.

Love the new "Reader's traffic"-thing by the way. So to all my fellow Swedes who's been reading: Puss på er; and to you others: lots of love for sticking with the story for so long. This is basically the same content as last time – so start off at Chapter Two for the new storyline, ok? :)

--

Chapter One: Don't fall asleep

Subaku no Gaara was sitting in his office in Suna staring at the horizon with green, impaling eyes. Some people would call the sunset beautiful, but it just made him depressed. He had to witness the procedure alone every night, watching over his village. His eyes hurt, his body was cold, tired and always in pain because of the sand-armor. Staying constantly awake for almost twenty years is really doing some serious damage to the body.

He closed his eyes. Let his body become limp. He moved his hand over his forehead, feeling the scared surface of the tattooed kanji meaning love. Above all things love was something completely illogical, something he had never been able to understand. He had never been loved. Instead he had always claimed to love only himself, trying to make up for the missing part in his soul. No one else had mattered to him. Then Uzumaki Naruto came into the picture and changed everything. A stupid, blond Konoha-shinobi was claiming that loving only yourself was wrong. True strength came from loving others and doing everything to protect them, which he proved by defeating Gaara and Shukaku.

Dwelling too much over that matter just gave him headache. Complicated things always did. He liked to keep it simple and logical, not interacting in things that made no sense. Therefore had decided long ago to never set a foot in Konoha again, Naruto was just too much to be dealing with.

He sunk deeper down into his chair, resting his head on the elbow. How he longed for sleep, just one night of drifting into visions instead of watching the bitter reality.

'If you're so tired, you can fall asleep you know. I promise I will behave' Shukaku smirked innocently inside his mind. Gaara shrugged the demon of and continued to watch the sky.

--

Yesterday he had received the regular invitation for the chuunin-exam; unfortunately it was taking place in Konoha. With regret he had realized it was not acceptable to decline, many strong genins from Suna was participating and counting on the Kazekage to support them.

Uncomfortable he had scribbled down a quick reply, neatly folded it into a folder and was about to seal the letter when he felt someone's presence outside the door. The sand against his skin twitched unpleasantly before he realized it was just Kankuro.

"Hey Gaara!" Kankuro greeted his brother, barging inside the office still in his pajamas. Kankuro was always doing that in the mornings. At the beginning he was just trying to upset his perfectionist-brother, the realized it was much more comfortable with a PJ then wearing his catsuit so he let it become a habit.

"Hmph" was all Gaara said before turning his attention back towards seal the letter. This was too early in the morning for listening to Kankuro's stories about his latest intercourse.

"Well you're social as usual. Temari says hi and wonders if you want some dinner" Kankuro fell back into Gaara's sofa, putting his feet on the coffee table. Gaara just raised a non-existing eyebrow at Kankuro's always-disrespectable behavior before replying between gritted teeth:

"I received an invitation for the annual chuunin-exam yesterday, I think I ought to travel tonight and help with the preparations…-"

"I didn't think you were going because it's in Konoha. You hate that place" Kankuro was always quick to point things out, constantly testing Gaara's patience.

"I don't hate it"

"Then how come you avoid it?"

"Because"

"…of Naruto?" Kankuro finished, a smirk on his face. Gaara quickly turned down over his paperwork, not particularly in the mood of psycho-analysis of his mind. Kankuro knew he had hit a sour spot and didn't push him further, but rather changed the subject awkwardly.

"Well, then I will inform Temari about the change of plans, because of course we're going with you. Can't let you have all the fun".

"Whatever" Gaara calmly replied and gestured for Kankuro to leave the room. He had to point several times for his brother to understand the wink while wearing a completely emotionless face that clearly stated 'I don't care about anything'.

When Kankuro finally got out, the façade dropped and Gaara felt unbelievably anxious.

--

The Anbu had escorted them to their temporary living quarters inside the Hokage-complex and picked out two very richly detailed, separate rooms. Gaara and Kankuro were directed to the largest one where last mentioned brother fell asleep in a matter of minutes, exhausted from the journey. Gaara sat down in a chair near the window, predicting he needed to be calmed down by the sight of the familiar moon. To actually be in Konoha was far worse than he had ever imagined. There was just a matter of hours before sunrise and the meeting with the Hokage. That made his stomach twist and turn of regret.

He wanted to make an escape from Konoha; dealing with these strange weaknesses in his mind was just unnecessary. If there was a way to avoid pain, do it. And tomorrow he certainly didn't want to meet the person who had complicated his life and imprinted strange thoughts in his head. Naruto…

--

Gaara's eyes met the Hokage's and he was slightly taken back by his somewhat changed appearance. The Hokage wore the traditional Hokage-robe but his hat was discarded into a sofa. Without his hat and his long, blonde hair pulled back Gaara could see the delicate features of his face - especially the piercing blue eyes that had always made him uncomfortable. They didn't spoke to each other for several minutes, not finding any suitable words to say. Was there anything to say?

"I have tried to contact you for some time, Kazekage"

"I know" Gaara answered truthfully and broke away from the angry, blue eyes staring at him. Both of them were silent again. He heard the Hokage fumble after something in a drawer.

"Found it!" he said cheerfully. Gaara turned his head to look at the Hokage holding a bottle filled with clear substance.

"What's that?" he asked skeptically.

"Let's have a drink to celebrate your arrival" the Hokage fished up two small cups and poured the sake into them. He signed for Gaara to get one of them while he grabbed the other one. They raised their cups into a cheer.

"This one is for you coming back" the Hokage cheered and swallowed the sake. Gaara followed his example. The sake was quiet strong and made him make an expression of horror. The Hokage grinned and started to laugh. Nothing in this situation was especially funny. Then Gaara remembered, this was after all Naruto…

--

"Hey Naruto watch the desk-" Gaara began, but it was too late - the Hokage had already clumsily stumbled over the desk. Naruto moaned of pain, tried to free himself from the desk but only managed to push down all paperwork to the floor.

"Oh shit" Naruto fell down on the floor, trying to pick the papers up. Gaara continued to drink his sake in amusement.

"I didn't mean to get drruunk ya know. I haven't eaten well the past week, too much work to do. Guess this was a little too much-" Naruto abandoned the papers, it was useless trying to pick anything up in a drunken state. He wiggled over to the couch where Gaara was sitting. He concentrated really hard and managed to sit down without falling down on the floor.

"You really need to take it easy" Gaara stated while putting down his cup.

"Yeah, yeah I know. But I ought to handle more; both ero-sennin and Tsunade have forced me to drink this poison numerous times…" At the mention of Tsunade Naruto looked down at his feet, suddenly very sober and sad. He was almost on the verge of crying, Gaara could hear him sniff a couple of times.

"But no, this is a happy moment. You finally decided to come see me, thank you" Naruto cracked up in his big, warm smile. All of his sadness was stripped; there was only this cracked surface of his former self, left.

--

Naruto and me ended up talking for hours. Or rather, Naruto did the talking and I answered him with short 'yes' or 'no'. Naturally we both avoided the subjects of Tsunade and why I had avoided Konoha, since bringing those up just caused an uncomfortable silence.

Sometime between when Naruto first sat down in the sofa and now we were discretely moving closer each other, almost naturally. I had no idea if me and Naruto was doing it on purpose, if this was something bodies did when being close to someone they liked.

Like when I had tried to show him the correct way of bowing, our hands and torsos connecting and skin burning under the accidental touch. I distinctively pulled his away, what if this was a fever - this heat radiating from within – and I were to accidently infect him? And somewhere in my trail of thoughts Naruto suddenly asked me a question I hadn't even considered.

"So that Matsuri-girl have the hots for you?" Naruto smiled and folded his hands in his lap. My shinobi-instincts told me that was a sign of nervousness, but he clearly wasn't nervous if he smiled and sounded genuine?

"What?" My puzzled mind must have reflected in my face because Naruto suddenly opened his mouth and curiously pointed at my face.

"You made an face-expression!"

"It's human" I replied coolly.

"Yeah well, yeah. But you never do that, your face is always kinda' blank. It's hard to figure out what you're thinking" Naruto was looking at me perplexed, studying my face intensely. It was very uncomfortable. My skin felt hot, and I was sure that if my layer of sand weren't protecting me – it would be a shade of pink. Why was it so hot in here? I studied Naruto, but he didn't look bothered.

"And why do you want to know what I'm thinking?"

"So I know my company doesn't bore you to death!" Naruto replied with his huge smile, all the warmth directed at me.

"You don't" My body was itching, not acting normal. I closed my eyes and imagined a cold shower.

He was staring at me with such intensity I had to turn my eyes down and stare at my cup of sake. I hadn't drunk much, the clear substance mocking me. I turned my gaze back at him and wanted to ask him if sake always tasted so badly when a loud bang came from outside, Naruto flew up from his seat, bending over me to get a clear view outside the window.

"Sorry" he said, climbing over my legs hurting my thighs with his sharp elbows. He had never and never would be graceful.

"What is it?" I asked him, feeling an urge to angrily push him down at the ground. But my arms weren't obeying, they told me to do other things. They wanted to touch and feel, caress and stroke the little, visible stripe of skin between his Hokage-robe and hair.

"I don't know. Nothing serious I imagine. There's no intruder, otherwise my office would be crowded" Naruto's eyes left the window and he sat down beside me again, pouring himself a cup of sake, "but there's just you and me here so-"Naruto shut his mouth and stared at me for a moment before grabbing his cup of sake.

He slowly put the cup to his lips… opening the mouth… his tongue touched the edge of the cup… slowly he began to let the liquid pour into his mouth. I stared at him, at the thing he did. I had never had an urge to replace myself with the cup before, but now the cravings of it made me breath heavy.

"This is nice" Naruto smiled and continued to drink.

"Uhm, uh" the words didn't come out as I expected; they got stuck in my throat. All I could do was breathing. Naruto looked at with curiosity. It just made me even more nervous and unsure about what I was doing. I grabbed my cup of sake and emptied it; in the haste I refilled the cup only to empty it again one minute later.

"Gaara what's the problem?" Naruto put down his cup and came closer. I held onto my cup even harder, afraid of doing something stupid otherwise. When I wasn't answering him, he immediately drew closer.

"Why do you do this?" I whispered to him when he gently took my cup away and put it on the table.

"Does what?" he was an inch from my face. I wasn't sure what I meant. I was feeling weak and dizzy, his presence so close to me was overwhelming. I stared at his face, the beautiful features so full of life unlike my own. Those honest blue eyes, crying for me when I had died. I stared at his hands, the hands healing me and helping me back to life.

The first thing I'd seen when I woke up from the dead: blue eyes.

"Hey- what are you –" was the only thing I managed to say before it happened. Naruto leaned over me and parted his lips, testing me for permission. In this moment I think my body made the biggest betrayal of its life because it also parted its lips and closed my eyes.

It felt warm, soft and made my heart throb and probably skip a few beats. Naruto moaned and let his tongue enter. He tasted like ramen.

When hands began to wander over my body I pulled away reluctantly. I didn't want to drop my guard, to feel defenseless. But Naruto silenced me efficiently with soft kisses and whispering it was okay. For some reason I leaned back into his sofa and visible relaxed while I felt hands slowly moving to open up my robe.

"Since that day…" Naruto told me and fumbled with the buttons of my robe, "when you almost died and then woke up before my eyes…" he stopped and looked at me. I was shivering, not from any could but from being defenseless. I didn't know what I wanted and my heart hurt when I tried to think. It hurt too much, and I turned away avoiding the kisses.

"I'm not sure-" I begun. I stared at the blonde in front of me, the purest heart I've ever come across. He released his grip on my clothes and gave me a sad smile. Then he licked his lips and looked away.

"I will always do anything for you" he told me. Voice on the verge of crying. I wanted to tell him I was hurt, something strange going on in my chest but the words never came out.

"A wound of the heart is difficult from a flesh wound. There are no ointments to heal it, and there are times when they never heal. But there is one thing that can heal a wound in the heart. It's a troublesome medicine and you can only receive it from another person.
"What? How can I heal this...?"
"The thing that can heal a wound in the heart is... love"

"Naruto" I cried, a tear falling from my cheek. Surprised I whipped it away and stared at it on the back of my hand. Wet.

"What? What is it? …Gaara?" Naruto looked mortified. I knew he was thinking this was his fault.

"I…" I began while more tears kept flooding my eyes. I blinked and tried to whipe them away. Naruto hurried to my side and let his hand touch my shoulder. I grabbed it and buried my head in it. I pulled at him and was caught in an embrace. I buried myself into his robes, whispering his name to myself. He patted me on the back, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"My chest hurts… And I don't know why I'm crying" I told him honestly and untangled myself from his arms.

--

Gaara's eyes were closed but I knew he wasn't sleeping. I was holding his smaller, naked body against my partly dressed chest. The sun was letting its warmth down into my face, really fitting because I felt really happy for the first time since Tsunade left.

First my parents, then Sasuke, then almost Gaara, then Jiraya, then Tsunade…

Gaara's presence was so intense; his stare could make me - and anyone else who felt brave enough to stare him in the eyes - feel worthless. He had long time ago declared me an enemy, told me I was stupid and trying to ignore me. He didn't want to hear about what he had missed, what he turned away from.

When I finally made his blood float, he understood that he wasn't unbeatable.

When I told him I wasn't going to kill him, he understood that there was kindness.

When I came to his aid when his pupil went missing, he understood I cared.

When I saved him from the Akatsuki, he understood that he was precious.

When I cried for him and helped bring him back to life, he understood his own feelings and hid.

Gaara was here, now lying peaceful in my arms, defenseless. He let me kiss and touch him, displaying trust and affection. I smiled and pulled him even closer, kissing him over and over again.

I kissed Gaara one last time before gently poking him into conscious. He opened one eye, staring at me with those green eyes. Before this event I had always thought his eyes was creeping me out, they were completely empty – not displaying a single emotion. But when he looked at me now, there was a single tear in his eye witnessing of pain, sadness, loneliness and suffering. With just that stare he told me more than words could. He wanted to stay in my life; I wanted him to be here.

--