I know, I just can't stop writing about these two lately! They're driving me crazy! post 3x03, after Audrey forces a fallout between her and Nathan. This is my "augh, god, IF ONLY" fic, hahah. hope you like it!
It had gone exactly as she'd planned, and she hated herself for it.
'It's better this way. As much as I can't stand the idea of him hating me, at least this way he'll be safe' Audrey thought to herself as she sat at her kitchen table, picking away at some pancakes that didn't seem nearly as appetizing now that they were in front of her.
Nathan had gotten her alone at the office and confronted her about how she'd been acting, just like she knew he would at some point. After she told him she is going to vanish when the Hunter meteor storm comes in a little over a month, Audrey could see it in his eyes. He looked panicked, and he couldn't seem to focus his thoughts on their Trouble of the day...and she knew she had to do something to save him. Audrey couldn't see a way out, and she wasn't about to risk hurting the man she loves by pulling him into the whole mess, and then vanishing before his eyes. She briefly thought of the sunny day in July when she'd had to deal with the Christmas trouble. Seeing him vanish before her eyes….no. She would never willingly put Nathan through that same horror.
God, it hurt though. The pained and confused look on his face when she'd told him to stop trying to protect her...the way his voice wavered...it nearly ripped her heart in two. By hurting herself in order to try and protect him, she could see that she'd hurt him too, in the process. 'But this is the lesser of two evils…' she thought glumly, getting up to throw her untouched pancakes away. 'This way he'll get over it and be alright when I do disappear. He'll be able to move on faster.'
She quickly washed the dishes and dried her hands, glancing at the clock. It was getting late, but the last thing she wanted to do was sleep. With a sigh, she walked over to her bedside table to find a book, when she heard footsteps coming up the stairs to her apartment above The Grey Gull. Audrey went into defensive mode instantly, the incident with her abduction rushing forward in her mind. She quickly found her gun and approached her door silently but quickly, checking it was locked before standing against the wall beside the door.
The footsteps came around the side of the apartment and stopped in front of her door, a loud knocking ringing out through the whole room. "Parker? Parker, open up. I know you're not asleep yet."
'Nathan' Audrey thought, sighing. "Nathan, it's late, what are you doing here?"
"Just let me in, Parker. It's important."
Sighing again, Audrey reached over and unlocked the door, walking back over to her bedside table to put her gun away while Nathan let himself in. She turned back around to see him closing the door behind him. He turned at looked at her, and she could see some anger in his features.
"Nathan, what is it you wa-"
"I want you to be honest with me." His voice was low and gravelly, and it took her back a step. It wasn't often he used that voice when he spoke to her, but she knew she deserved it.
"About what? About not wanting you to protect me? I was being honest, Nathan. I don't need-"
"That's crap, Parker, and you know it." he cut her off gruffly, taking a step closer to her. "You shut me out, you don't tell me anything, and then you tell me you don't want me trying to protect you and help you figure out what's going on with the Hunter meteor storm. I'm not buying any of this." He was only a meter or so away from her now, and Audrey had backed up to the point that she was almost against the wall of her bedroom, trying to escape his attack. She knew he was smart and might see through her, but she was really hoping she'd convinced him that she didn't want his help.
"Nathan, I-"
"No, Parker, it's my turn to talk." His eyes were fierce as he took another step towards her, but she could see the hurt in them as well, and it tore at her heart knowing she was the cause of it. "You think just because you tell me not to help you, that I'm just going to back down and let this happen? Do you know me at all? Do you have any idea-" He stopped, taking a shaky breath and looking into her eyes. "You're not leaving. I won't let you vanish." His voice was quiet and unstable, and she could feel her walls coming down from the way he was looking at her.
"Nathan…"
Before she could say another word, he closed the distance between them. Her eyes went wide as his hands found either side of her face in a gentle caress before he brought his head down, kissing her tenderly.
Audrey didn't react immediately, as her mind was racing and she couldn't seem to control her body. Nathan leaned into the kiss more, slowly backing her up against the wall and moving one of his hands to her waist while the other continued to cradle her head. Audrey's eyes fluttered closed, her hands moving to his face, touching his bare skin and feeling the way he sighed into the kiss, making her stomach jump. She ran her hand through the hair at the back of his neck, and he held her tighter as she deepened the kiss, letting all her pent up emotions out.
Her hands found their way to the bottom of his shirt, which she gently tugged free from his pants, slowly running one of her hands along his bare back. Nathan gasped and pushed himself closer to her, pressing his body against hers, trying to escape the sensory overload her hand was causing. Audrey giggled and held her hand still on his skin, waiting for him to adjust. "Sorry..." she whispered, a chuckle in her voice, and Nathan let out a breathy laugh before capturing her lips again.
Audrey drew small circles on his skin, loving the sounds she was getting from him, and the way he was reacting. His kisses were getting deeper, more passionate. She wrapped her arms around his stomach, just beneath his shirt, and pulled him closer, wanting him to be closer as they continued to kiss. She could feel his emotions pouring into her. She could tell this was much more then a need to touch, for him. She had never assumed that he was interested in her for that reason alone. Her heart soared with renewed possibilities for them, consequences be damned.
Their lips parted slightly and they both gasped for air, leaning their foreheads together and clutching to one another. "Audrey…" Nathan breathed her name, running a shiver down her spine. His hands ran up her back and over her bare arms, slowly feeling the texture of her skin that sent warmth throughout his entire being. Audrey leaned into him, enjoying the smell of his cologne, and the way he was reacting to her touches.
"Audrey, don't shut me out" he said softly, pulling away just enough to look into her eyes. "I'll never stop looking for a way to keep you here, whether you want me to or not. I can't stand the idea of…" his voice trailed off and sadness reached his eyes and he cupped the side of her face with his hand.
Audrey nodded and pulled him in, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm just so scared. I can feel this clock ticking down, and I don't know if I can stop it...I just don't want to vanish and leave you miserable. That's why I tried to push you away…" her voice trailed off as she nuzzled her face into his neck. "I guess you didn't fall for it."
Nathan held her tightly, placing a hand on the back of her head. "I did at first. I was confused, and hurt, and I didn't know what to make of how you were acting…but I knew I wasn't imaging what's been developing between us, and I could tell by the way you were looking at me that it wasn't a one way street." He pulled away to look at her again. "I am a detective after all, Parker. It's my job to see when people are lying."
She gave him a small smile, leaning up to place a slow, gentle kiss on his lips. There was no frantic passion in this kiss, but the love was palpable. When she pulled away, she watched him sigh before slowly opening his eyes.
"We'll figure this out, Parker. Together. Whatever it takes."
Audrey nodded and leaned back into the hug, happier then she'd felt in weeks. "Whatever it takes."