Disclaimer: Gravitation is not mine.
Aching Desire By Miyamoto Yui
Prologue - The day god fell to his knees.
I came back to Kyoto because.well. I couldn't even finish my thought as my heart began to become heavy. My mouth let out a deep sigh. I just couldn't concentrate for meditations that night. And it didn't help that as much time as I had devoted to trying to start to meditate, it had done me no good. I was sitting with my legs on the ground and the birds starting to chirp for the coming of dawn. "Arghhh!" I had said as I took a cushion next to me and threw it across the room. It splattered on the wall and wiped against the wall as I myself backed to the wall and slid to the ground. "I can't stand it!" I shouted to myself knowing full well that I should have kept my mouth shut. But I didn't want to be quiet anymore.
"What will you do, Tatsuha?" my father had said to me with a blank expression. I could still see it so clearly in my mind as if he had stood right in front of me at that moment. I couldn't tell if he was disappointed, upset, mad, happy, confused, or all of the above to the point that he couldn't give a face for it. The question repeated more and more in my head. And the worse half of it. "Ow." I had grabbed my chest as it crunched in pain.
I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to think of it. But I had to.
Wasn't I a monk? Shouldn't I know what to do in situations like this?
Don't let desire get to you.
But my brother got to be an author. My sister gets to what she wants to. Because of our family name, I was forced to do this. I didn't choose it. If I didn't, my father would have really died at that instant. I didn't want that to happen.
"Ryuichi." I mumbled as if it were the most painful thing to say as my hands placed themselves on my forehead.
I was so confused.
My father was sick right now. As of this moment, he's on his death bed and I'm here stuck on my ass on the wooden floor. I don't want to disappoint him, but I don't want to give up what I want either. Because of my relationship with Ryuichi, my father had gotten sick from the shock when I told him how we were dating. Well, that and the whole freakin' nation knew about it. Tabloids. You've got to love them.
And that just wasn't it.
Like a coward, I ran away. As much as I loved Ryuichi and worshipped the very ground he walked on, I. What would happen to us? Come on, Tatsuha. You've got to think realistically. You are a monk. He is a rock superstar. He is fifteen years older. You guys are both men.
Even if you guys do understand each other. Even if you guys do get to be together.
Who will inherit this household?
The centuries your ancestors put on this and you're really going to throw it away because of your passion? What? For Ryuichi Sakuma?
I would give anything to be with Ryuichi. I had promised myself that ever since I knew of his existence. Even before I knew what love was.
"Don't you understand?" I desparately said to no one in particular.
Understand that this is what I want. This is my dream.
I want to at least have a child. I can't do that with Ryuichi.
Doesn't this sound kind of strange coming from a man?
I began to walk to my room silently with the most perplexed face in the past eighteen years of my existence.
I.I don't want to leave Ryuichi. But I can't avoid my responsibilities.
Because of all these reasons and more unspoken ones, I left Ryuichi. I hid so that he could find someone else-
Bang, bang, bang.
I closed the door behind me and walked over to the window. I pulled on the curtain lightly to see what was happening while slowly opening the sliding window.
"I'm sorry Sakuma-san, but he is out," I heard the maid say. "I know he's in here," he said to the maid. "Please don't lie to me." "I am not lying to you. Sakuma-san, if you will not vacate the premises, we'll call the police." "I will not leave without Tatsuha."
The neighbors lights began to light up as they watched the scene outside the gate as I listened. The more I listened, the more I felt like crying. I couldn't take it.
It was then that Ryuichi Sakuma did something that I didn't expect and my heart fell from its place.
He bowed to the ground and pressed his head to the floor in front of the maid. "Onegai." he asked about to burst into tears.
"Boku ni Tatsuha wo kudasai."
I couldn't breathe at that moment as I felt my whole body become numb and full of emotion at the same time. I wanted to fall to the ground again.
And again, he begged as his voice cracked, "Please.please give Tatsuha to me."
To be continued.
-- Author's comments: It's been such a long time since I've made a Ryuichi and Tatsuha fic. I hope that I'm not too rusty. But thank you thank you to all those who have been reading the gravi fics and actually wrote to tell me so. I really can't express my gratitude.
I don't know really of where this is going and I know I have two other fics that I was asked to do, but I can't structure them yet. Not without the name of Mika's and Touma's child.
If any of you are going to anime expo, come by the Orbit comics booth! I'll be Shuichi, Hatako, or Subaru from Tokyo Babylon! I'll also be in the karaoke contest as Shu. ^_~
Aching Desire By Miyamoto Yui
Prologue - The day god fell to his knees.
I came back to Kyoto because.well. I couldn't even finish my thought as my heart began to become heavy. My mouth let out a deep sigh. I just couldn't concentrate for meditations that night. And it didn't help that as much time as I had devoted to trying to start to meditate, it had done me no good. I was sitting with my legs on the ground and the birds starting to chirp for the coming of dawn. "Arghhh!" I had said as I took a cushion next to me and threw it across the room. It splattered on the wall and wiped against the wall as I myself backed to the wall and slid to the ground. "I can't stand it!" I shouted to myself knowing full well that I should have kept my mouth shut. But I didn't want to be quiet anymore.
"What will you do, Tatsuha?" my father had said to me with a blank expression. I could still see it so clearly in my mind as if he had stood right in front of me at that moment. I couldn't tell if he was disappointed, upset, mad, happy, confused, or all of the above to the point that he couldn't give a face for it. The question repeated more and more in my head. And the worse half of it. "Ow." I had grabbed my chest as it crunched in pain.
I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to think of it. But I had to.
Wasn't I a monk? Shouldn't I know what to do in situations like this?
Don't let desire get to you.
But my brother got to be an author. My sister gets to what she wants to. Because of our family name, I was forced to do this. I didn't choose it. If I didn't, my father would have really died at that instant. I didn't want that to happen.
"Ryuichi." I mumbled as if it were the most painful thing to say as my hands placed themselves on my forehead.
I was so confused.
My father was sick right now. As of this moment, he's on his death bed and I'm here stuck on my ass on the wooden floor. I don't want to disappoint him, but I don't want to give up what I want either. Because of my relationship with Ryuichi, my father had gotten sick from the shock when I told him how we were dating. Well, that and the whole freakin' nation knew about it. Tabloids. You've got to love them.
And that just wasn't it.
Like a coward, I ran away. As much as I loved Ryuichi and worshipped the very ground he walked on, I. What would happen to us? Come on, Tatsuha. You've got to think realistically. You are a monk. He is a rock superstar. He is fifteen years older. You guys are both men.
Even if you guys do understand each other. Even if you guys do get to be together.
Who will inherit this household?
The centuries your ancestors put on this and you're really going to throw it away because of your passion? What? For Ryuichi Sakuma?
I would give anything to be with Ryuichi. I had promised myself that ever since I knew of his existence. Even before I knew what love was.
"Don't you understand?" I desparately said to no one in particular.
Understand that this is what I want. This is my dream.
I want to at least have a child. I can't do that with Ryuichi.
Doesn't this sound kind of strange coming from a man?
I began to walk to my room silently with the most perplexed face in the past eighteen years of my existence.
I.I don't want to leave Ryuichi. But I can't avoid my responsibilities.
Because of all these reasons and more unspoken ones, I left Ryuichi. I hid so that he could find someone else-
Bang, bang, bang.
I closed the door behind me and walked over to the window. I pulled on the curtain lightly to see what was happening while slowly opening the sliding window.
"I'm sorry Sakuma-san, but he is out," I heard the maid say. "I know he's in here," he said to the maid. "Please don't lie to me." "I am not lying to you. Sakuma-san, if you will not vacate the premises, we'll call the police." "I will not leave without Tatsuha."
The neighbors lights began to light up as they watched the scene outside the gate as I listened. The more I listened, the more I felt like crying. I couldn't take it.
It was then that Ryuichi Sakuma did something that I didn't expect and my heart fell from its place.
He bowed to the ground and pressed his head to the floor in front of the maid. "Onegai." he asked about to burst into tears.
"Boku ni Tatsuha wo kudasai."
I couldn't breathe at that moment as I felt my whole body become numb and full of emotion at the same time. I wanted to fall to the ground again.
And again, he begged as his voice cracked, "Please.please give Tatsuha to me."
To be continued.
-- Author's comments: It's been such a long time since I've made a Ryuichi and Tatsuha fic. I hope that I'm not too rusty. But thank you thank you to all those who have been reading the gravi fics and actually wrote to tell me so. I really can't express my gratitude.
I don't know really of where this is going and I know I have two other fics that I was asked to do, but I can't structure them yet. Not without the name of Mika's and Touma's child.
If any of you are going to anime expo, come by the Orbit comics booth! I'll be Shuichi, Hatako, or Subaru from Tokyo Babylon! I'll also be in the karaoke contest as Shu. ^_~