IMPORTANT: READ THIS FIRST
So... Me (Illusion) and 'littledarkangel9797' (Minion) were having a little PM conversation, and it somehow escalated into a crack-fic without any real grammar involved. We were having a lot of fun with it, so we decided to put it up! Don't worry though, we revised it for you guys to read. :3 (not enough to sound intelligent, but...yeah. :3)
So far it has characters from FMA (Fullmetal Alchemist), OHSHC (Ouran High School Host Club), DNAngel, Level E (Which only I watched and never actually finished), AtLA (Avatar: the Last Airbender), LoK (Legend of Korra), Black Butler, Fairy Tale, Soul Eater, Death Note, One Piece (same situation there as Level E), and there were some random Night Class fangirls from Vampire Knight in there. We haven't seen all the animes in the world, but everyone being there is basically the idea, so you don't have to have seen all of them to understand it. ^-^
Oh yeah, and Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony is in there too... I have no idea why; just go with it.
Oh, and the PoV will be changing between Illusion and Minion (and yes, we ARE using those names...because reasons) depending on who wrote which part; I'm only making it more readable. :3 Also, the beginning is all mine because...well, it needed to have SOMEthing to start it! (Poor me; my brain needs something almost logical to start something ILlogical. :( That part sucks (probably))
Enjoy the random!
INSIDE THE PORTAL OF TRUTH
Truth was bored. No one had come to The Gate since Edward Elric had barged in and beat him at his own game. The Truth didn't mind losing, but he couldn't stand when the game was over; he needed something to do.
Time was endless in The Portal, so it could have been years after he thought this - or mere seconds - when he decided to look into things on another side of The Gate. He opened his precious masterpiece and peeked in, gazing through to the world where everything anime had begun; not much was happening there, just a few political crises, one or two epic new anime worlds on the way, and people all the while writing anime fanfiction.
Truth scoffed. Fanfiction; if only those idiots realized the chaos they were causing in his Portal. Everything went through here; everything. Every little anime idea came in, then created another world where people were usually being tortured for others' entertainment. Not that The Truth had any problem with torture, but some FANfictions...well, let's just say there was a backup of specific yaoi pairings he didn't want to sort through.
After...some time of watching the humans of this world, Truth saw something. It was something so trivial, so small, that he might have missed it if he couldn't see everything at once. But he suddenly got an idea, and decided to do some meddling.
A fourteen year old girl sat in bed one morning, computer on her lap. She had been bored, so now she was on a website (that you all know) called FanFictionnet, and, because she couldn't focus on writing, she was talking to her friend, who went by the name of 'Minion' (nickname-wise; Illusion is the girl's [my] alias).
[This is where the real thing starts; sorry for my sucky beginning, but there's going to be a tiny bit more...]
Minion: Good morning. Did you sleep well? ^-^
Illusion: *yawns* I don't know yet...I'm not aching anywhere, and I don't feel like death... So I guess so! ^.^ Ooh, and guess what... THE REVIEW RECORD FOR MY STORY IS BROKEN! XD TWELVE REVIEWS FOR A SINGLE CHAPTER! WOOOOOOOO!
Minion: Really?! AWEEEESOOOOMEEEE ! *highfives* This calls for a party! :D
Illusion: YEEEEAHHHHHHH! *gets out party stuff* What kind of party?
Minion: Whatever you want. IT'S A PARTY! XD
Illusion: ALRIGHT! GET OUT THE PARTY CANNON! *pulls it out of nowhere*
Minion: AND WHAT'S A PARTY WITHOUT THE PARTY TANK?! *parks it here*
Illusion: PARTAYYY! *pulls out a pink horse* ...You think this is getting out of hand?
Minion: *brings in the yellow ponysaur* Nah... XP
Illusion: Alright! All we need now is the music! *puts on a remix of Ed screaming*
Minion: We forgot the food! *tons of magic ice cream magically appear* Yummm...
Illusion: Yes! Now we're just missing the guests... *every anime character in existence appears* ACK! CROWDED!
Minion: Me: Hey Ed! These guys said you are a microscopic shrimp!
Ed: WHAT?! *goes on a killing spree*
There! Problem solved. *hair-flip*
*t*
That's when things got weird; Illusion was about to reply, but her fingers got stuck on the keys. As she tried to pull them away, the computer screen started to get brighter; it got so bright that Illusion had to close her eyes to prevent herself from going blind. She was starting to get scared - because she's a wimp - when the world started shaking. 'What the WHAT?' She gasped then as a giant eyeball appeared in the middle of her computer; she closed her eyes, and with that, the world went dark - and silent.
Meanwhile, the same thing was happening to Minion. "WHA-A-AT'S GOING O-O-N?!" the sixteen year old shouted as the world became a giant massage chair, then everything, like aforementioned, vanished.
Illusion blinked open her eyes. She was on the floor. What was she doing on the floor? And...why was it wooden? There was a carpet in her room. She pushed herself up to her knees, trying to remember what had happened...But she forgot all about that when she saw where she was. "What the...what?"
"Holy..."
Illusion turned her head to see another teenager sitting, like her, in shock on the floor. She looked maybe a couple years older than her, and...also shocked. 'Hold on, is this..?' "Minion?"
The girl's head snapped around to look at her, eyes wide. She just sat there for a moment before finally opening her mouth. "Illusion?"
The younger girl just stared for a few moments before coming up with an answer to all this. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
"That's my line," the girl who was - apparently - known as 'Minion' said as she stood up.
Illusion followed suit quickly after, then didn't question the older girl's contradiction as she replied. "Yeah, sure. Whatever the case, this is definitely a dream; why else would we be surrounded by anime characters?"
As if on cue, a familiar, blond-haired midget came running out of the crowd of people, whirled around, clapped his hands, and slammed them on the ground. A large wooden spike appeared out of the floor about seven feet away, and the girls noticed a tall, black-haired, hunched over (young?) man easily leap out of the way; he then continued to walk forward as though nothing had happened.
Illusion frowned. "Is that..?"
"Yeah."
"So...we're in a crowd of anime characters - dreaming, hopefully - and Edward Elric trying is to kill L..."
The hunched over man stopped in his tracks and looked over at them. "You mean he's not a circus monkey come to entertain me?"
The midget - Ed - clapped his hands, shouting furiously: "WHO'RE YOUCALLIN'APIPSQUEAKSOSMALLHECANBEMISTAKENFOR ATINYLITTLECIRCUSMONKEY, YOU FREAK!?"
Minion watched as Edward turned his right arm into a sword and chased L off with it, shouting profanities at him along the way, then glanced around fearfully. "Okay, so if what you said earlier is actually happening - in this dream - and everyone is here... I hope Light didn't bring his Death Note - things would get really messy..." she visibly sweat-dropped as she said that.
"Right..." Illusion narrowed her eyes in thought - ignoring the anime-effect on her friend - then grinned. "So if this is a dream, and a party, then we can have all the fun we want!" 'Think of the chaos...'
Minion smirked. "Okay, but shouldn't we keep everyone from killing each other?"
"Oh right!" Illusion gasped. "Dream or not, I want to be able to hang out with Ed and L - DON'T KILL EACH OTHER!" she screamed as they flew out of the crowd again and landed - L's foot on Ed's face - near them.
"Boys, boys," a voice that sounded strangely - yet not so strangely - similar to Edward's came from behind them, and the girls whirled around to see none other than Tamaki Suoh, the princely flirt of the Host Club. He walked over to the two fighting people - who had stopped at his voice - and held out a random rose. "you should really calm down. Maybe you would like to join the host club? We have cake."
[suddenly changing PoV to general]
A tall, blond, long-haired alien by the name of Prince Baka heard the 'cake' comment and walked over to the collected group. "Do you have salt flavored noodles?"
"I don't think that's a thing."
Everyone turned to find a handsome young man with purple hair standing nearby; both girls recognized him instantly - Dark, the handsome angel thief whose voice was almost the exact same as Tamaki's. Because of the growing number of people in the group, nobody noticed when Ed left the scene and headed towards a certain Flame Alchemist.
The Host Club member whirled around to the newcomer. "Oh, would you like to join the host club? Your voice sounds exquisite; I'm sure you would please the ladies. And the blond man as well."
"Sounds fun; we could start a TV series!" Baka said.
[Minion PoV: What are the girls up to now?]
"Did that just happen?" Minion quietly asked her friend, when a sudden gigantic alchemic explosion blew some of the nearing guests away, including the two girls. They both landed on the ground a few feet away from their original spot as Ed's voice was heard. "GET BACK HERE, BASTARD!"
Then another familiar voice rang out. It was Mustang's. "Do I look like I'm running?" With the snap of his fingers came another big explosion.
Illusion sat up and turned to the sixteen year old who was lying on the floor next to her, the younger's eye twitching. "What do we do?"
Minion stood up, rubbing the back of her aching head. "Please tell me you invited Risa and Winry. We'd really use them right now." she held out her hand to the younger girl and helped her stand up.
The both of them looked around, hoping they'd spot the two blondies. And they did. They were sitting on a table, having a cake... with Honey. "We're doomed." Minion sweat-dropped, a gloomy aura surrounding her. So that's why they didn't notice Ed's ranting as he transmuted the party tank into a death machine and Mustang's countless z-formation finger-snaps.
Meanwhile, Spirit, also known as Death Scythe, had joined Tamaki's group. "What's this host club of yours about?"
Tamaki spun around, sparkling of course, and was happy to answer the question. "The Ouran host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful."
As the womanizer he is, Death Scythe was intrigued. "Oooh, can I join too?"
"But of course! Everyone is welcome!"
[Illusion PoV: Back with our heroi-I mean accidental party hosts!]
Illusion stared at the battling alchemists with a hand to her head, exasperated. "Oh, great," she sighed; this might be a bit more difficult than she thought. But she wouldn't give up on her dream! ('Cliche, writer-kun, cliche.') "Well, I did invite every anime character ever...I think," Illusion reached impulsively into her pocket and found a gigantic roll of paper with a list of names on it. 'How did this even fit?' She glanced at Minion, who was still watching the battle, and looked through the top of the list. Upon seeing a certain name she vaguely recognized, the girl grinned. "OH! Yes, this might work; there's a guy from One Piece here called Luffy. He's made of rubber, so maybe he can stop Roy..."
Well, Illusion wasn't sure what she'd been thinking, but a few seconds later there was a gangly young man standing near her with a grin on his face, and a straw hat on his head. Apparently, he'd heard what had been said - either that or Illusion had mind control powers - and threw back his arms; they began to stretch at an unnatural rate. Then, when they flung forward again, he screamed at the top of his lungs: "GUM GUM CANNON PUUUUNCH!"
The girls watched with anime-sweat-drops as he was thrown forward and ended up knocking the two battling alchemists unconscious with his creepy rubber hands. Illusion gulped. "Um..."
Meanwhile, in the very corner of the room, a certain cross-dressing commoner girl stood uncomfortably in the corner. "Why am I even here?" Haruhi murmured, watching as a guy with pink hair ran by breathing fire at a squinty-eyed princely figure. She sighed, closing her eyes in exasperation. "This place is filled with lunatics..."
"I think it's brilliant!"
Haruhi turned to see none other than the Host Club king walking toward her, flocked by three other guys who she suspected would be the inappropriately-aged new members of their club.
"There are so many beautiful men who could join our host club!" Yup, she was right. Tamaki turned and held a finger to his lips, searching the room. "Like that blond boy who was fighting the flame man earlier...Now where did he get to..?"
Haruhi sighed as she pointed to where she'd seen the battle end. "A rubber man knocked him out; I don't think this place is safe, senpai."
The purple-haired member of the group chuckled. "NONSENSE! This is awesomeness as its fullest capacity!" Dark smirked handsomely and turned around to explore the place with his eyes. "I think I saw some half-naked girls over by the snack bar..." he paused, and the young man's face showed deep thought for a few moments - confusing everyone else - before a mischievous grin adorned it. "Come on, Dai, you know you wanna go over there too," he turned the group and waved. "See ya later!"
"...Pervert." Haruhi deadpanned as he ran off.
[Back with the party hosts, who have just been standing there the whole time]
Illusion tore her eyes away from the unconscious alchemists and watched as chaos ensued everywhere - not that she was against chaos, but there were giant men arm-wrestling in one corner... oh wait, that just turned into a brawl. And there were different kinds of ghosts and weirdness floating around...doing stuff. "Okay, this is getting out of control..." she murmured; Illusion glanced upwards as she spoke, then froze. "Wait...Uh, Minion, does Avatar: Last Airbender count as an anime?"
Minion sighed as she shoved her hands in her pockets. She always did that when there was a problem her smartphone could fix - like googling for something she wasn't sure of. But what was the chance the phone was with her? Apparently, it was big. Her eyes widened when her hand made contact with a familiar square object. She pulled it out, surprised. It was her smartphone alright - the same she had dropped at least a billion times, with the cover protector that had lost its color on the edges.
Without any second to lose, Minion googled AtLA. "Well," she started as she fixed some big and dorky glasses on that suddenly appeared on her nose. "the format is animated series and anime can be considered the Japanese version of animated series," and the glassess vaporized as suddenly as they had appeared "so yeah. What's your point?" She asked, looking up like her friend. And what she saw could be summed up in four words: "OH MY FREAKING YELLOW!"
The two girls ducked before the strong wind could blow their heads away. "How did they find out about this?!" Minion muttered as she looked up again, but there was no trace of the air-bender.
As if on cue, Kyoya appeared with all the answers. "I took the liberty of inviting them, so you girls can earn some extra cash. I want a percentage of the earnings though." he said as he wrote down something in his notebook. Illusion and Minion sent him death glares. "What, did I do something wrong?"
Without a word, the sixteen year old pulled out of nowhere a... banana. And hit the 'cool' Host Club member with it. "This is a free party. A FREE PARTY. WHAT PART OF 'FREE' YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU MONEY-ADDICTED WEIRDO?" And she hit him again. And again. And again.
Kyoya tried to save himself by running away from the furious girl, but with no avail - Minion chased after him with more deadly bananas. All Illusion could do was watch her friend's antics, sweat-dropping.
Meanwhile, somewhere near the snack table, Major Armstrong was enjoying the party. "ISN'T THIS PARTY JUST GLORIOUS?!"
"How did I end up here?" A petite girl near by, who went by the name Maka, muttered in confusion.
"HUH?" The Strong-armed Alchemist noticed the young Meister. "WHAT'S A LITTLE LADY DOING ALL ALONE HERE?"
"I was just looking for that stupid father of mine." She sighed before seeing her dad doing his new 'host club duties,' leaning against a wall and speaking 'seductively' to a young girl - a young girl that was way too young for him. Enraged, Maka grabbed Soul Eater from where he sat - in his weapon form - by the wall, and swung him at her father. "WHAT THE HELL PAPA?!"
Armstrong didn't flinch from the sudden movement of the girl. "IS THAT YOUR FATHER?"
Maka sweat-dropped, ignoring the fact that her father was now bleeding on the floor. "Sadly, yes. He's gotten even worse after the divorce with my mom..."
As the sensitive and sweet soul Major is, her answer broke him to tears. "WHAT A TRAGIC STORY!" He ripped off his shirt and hugged the girl. "BEHO~LD. THE ART OF COMFORTING THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!"
All that came out of Maka were screams of terror.
"DON'T TOUCH MY PRECIOUS MAKA!" Spirit screeched - having decided to get up off the floor - as he ran towards Armstrong.
Soul, who had transformed into his human form, watched the scene. "Not cool..."
Illusion stood there watching as the older girl ran off to chase Kyoya with bananas. The younger had noidea what was going on anymore, but she promised herself then and there that she would never throw a party in real life - ever.
That's when a certain winged lemur flew over her head and dropped something large, shiny, and sharp by her head. "ACK!" Illusion ducked out of the way. "EVERYTHING'S OUT OF CONTROL!" she yelled in frustration, then spotted something...rather disturbing by the snack table. "...Oh man, DARK!" she screeched, running toward to where he stood in front of a large group of aforementioned girls. "PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON! THIS IS NOT THAT KIND OF PARTY!"