Title: Do You Have A Moment?

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Castle didn't rush off at the end of Limey when Beckett asked him if he had some time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Words: 1150

"Do you have a moment Castle?" Beckett asked quietly, standing at her desk.

A part of him wanted to rush off, to get away from her as quickly as possible but another part of him wanted to stay. The inner turmoil that he had been dealing with since the bombing case and hearing her confession was messing around with him. He glanced away from her for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

"Sure." He replied quietly, looking at her again.

Running away wouldn't solve his problems and getting over her was proving to be impossible, it would seem that his mother had been right regarding his inability to switch of the love he had for this woman. He wouldn't be telling her that though, the last thing he needed was for her to know that she had been right. She would become insufferable with that knowledge.

"I just…" Beckett stopped mid-sentence, running a hand through her hair before letting out a huff. "What's going on Castle?"

There were so many smart remarks on the tip of his tongue to answer that question, but he doubted that any of them were really appropriate in this moment. He had been acting childish lately, trying to lash out and prove to himself that he could get over her. It was time to be an adult and face the music, sort out his problems.

"Do you remember the bombing case?" He asked quietly, staring into her eyes.

Eyes that he could become lost in if he wasn't careful, one of his favourite things when it came to the Detective. It had been her eyes that had caught his interest when they had first met, her eyes that had caused him to fall in love with her. When she didn't have the words to express what she wanted to, one glance into those eyes would tell him everything he needed to know.

"Yes." She answered with a slight furrow to her brow, clearly trying to understand why he would be bringing up an old case that they had managed to solve.

"I heard your interrogation that day, that you remembered your shooting." Castle said quietly, not looking away from her eyes.

It had been a horrible day for him; he had been hoping and waiting that she would be ready soon for a relationship. That her wall would come down and they could be together properly but after finding out that she had lied to him those thoughts had gone away. Replaced instead by anger and hurt.

"Oh." She gasped quietly, sitting down in her chair numbly.

"You lied to me." Castle said just as quietly, feeling a pang go through his heart as he voiced the words. "I would have been able to handle you not feeling the same but Kate, you meant to be my best friend."

The silence that settled between the two of them was tense and uncomfortable, bordering on awkward. Castle waited to see if she would say anything, try to maybe explain why she had lied, something. But no words come out of her mouth, she continued to stare ahead.

"I should go, it's getting late." Castle said quietly, before taking the first few steps towards the elevator.

"Rick, please." Beckett called out, getting up from her chair and hastily following him.

Castle was mentally berating himself; he should have just gone with his first instinct and fled when he had the chance. They were good at not talking about things, leaving issues completely alone without ever mentioning them. He was hoping that just maybe this would be the case now but he doubted it. After all it was out in the open, there was no cramming it away.

"I can explain." She started softly; he turned around to face her. "After I got shot, there was just so much going on. Roy had betrayed and lied to me yet he died to save my life, there was someone out there who wanted me dead. Who had me shot in broad daylight in front of a hundred cops and gotten away with it, every day after I woke up I was waiting for them to come and finish the job."

"I couldn't move, sleep, and eat. I couldn't do anything, my thoughts were messed up and I was on so many different medications, not to mention the pain of being shot in the chest and cut open."

"I wasn't certain if it had really happened or not, if you had said it. I thought that maybe it was just my imagination that a part of me had made it up. Something that I had wanted to hear imagined by busy dying in that cemetery or even the drugs doing it to me."

"I wasn't in a place to accept your love, so I ran away to lick my wounds away from not just you, but everybody. I had so much to deal with, nightmares and paranoia. And when I finally got better, when I returned to the city, there was still so much that I had to do before I would be good enough for you. Deserve you."

He wanted to say something; there were so many things he wanted to say in this moment. He wanted to tell her that he would have been there for her, that he would have helped her with the pain, the nightmares and the paranoia. That he would have helped her to recover and get ready to return to the force, that he wouldn't have pushed her.

He wanted to know why a part of her wanted to hear him say that he loved her, and since when had that parted existed. If maybe she felt the same way that he did about her, there were so many things he wanted to say and ask. He wanted to tell her that she didn't need to change, that she was good enough as she was right now. That she was perfect, everything he had ever wanted and dreamed of.

Instead though, he managed to keep quiet, his mind running rampage with all the thoughts that she was evoking. There would be time later for him to voice his thoughts; it was instead time to listen to her. To try to understand everything that she was telling him, to understand her even better.

"I've been in therapy these last few months, trying to get over my issues. To let go of my mother's case, to get control over my PTSD and to bring down my wall. I've been trying to become the woman that you deserve, a woman that isn't scared and half hearted. I want forever with you Rick, nothing less. And for that I need to be whole."

"Forever?" He questioned, no longer able to remain silent.

"You are my one and done." She replied quietly, staring into his blue eyes.

FIN.