Forever Too Much
A/N: Ok so I decided to write a happy ending anyway to Never Enough because I am a Dramione shipper and it makes me sad to not put them together. This whole thing will be in Hermione's point of view. Enjoy!
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter is J.K Rowling's and J.K Rowling's alone. Any publicly recognisable situations, characters etc. belong to her. No profit is being made of this story.
Forever Too Much
It's been a week. 7 days, 186 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds. And for every single one of those god damn seconds I have been suffering. Every time the second hand ticks by I'm reminded of my mistakes and lies and how I could be living in bliss right now instead of this cold miserableness. Every time it ticks by I'm reminded of his words and the anguish in his eyes as I told him the truth. And every time it ticks by, I'm reminded of our lost and never to be found again love.
It seemed, that the truth was a lot harsher than I thought. I thought I could do it, I thought I could tell him and we would stay the same, that nothing would change and we would go on to have children and grow old together. But he just had to throw that bloody curve ball at me causing me to loose my temper and twist the truth into something even worse. As if it wasn't already horrible enough.
And in the midst of all the truths I told a lie that changed it all. I told him I didn't love him, never had, never will. And what really broke my heart was the fact he believed me that he really believed that he wasn't good enough. He was right, I truly was the only monster there, I can't believe I had been so cruel to him, so malicious so brutal, it was he who deserved better.
We once had something magical. Something born out of chaos and war yet still beautiful. Something that had lived in darkness but still managed to reach light. Something that was all lies. He for a bet, me for secrets, neither of us were exactly truthful but at least he didn't betray me in anyway, not like I did him.
At the start I was all for it. A chance to bring Ferret Boy down, of the fun! Oh the glory! But once that all faded away and I really got to know Draco, I realised I quite liked him. Not love, no, our past was too horrible for me to likely ever achieve such an emotion for him. But like, yes, I liked him. I could talk to him in a different way compared to how I would talk to Harry and Ron. He wasn't considerate or nice, oh heavens no, but he was refreshing. He never withheld or omitted anything in his opinions just to protect my feelings, he was blunt and cold and I found that invigorating. Eventually as time wore on the feeling became intoxicatingly addictive, he became intoxicatingly addictive and I just couldn't get enough of him. And so our relationship moved onto a more romantic level, who knew he'd only decided to be with me for a bet, but then again I mustn't be hypocritical.
I'd wondered for some time after why it was that he'd decided to tell me. Did he want a fight so he could have an excuse to leave? He didn't exactly seem like he was trying to spare my feelings when he told me about the bet so I really didn't know what to think. It seemed that the player was being played, meaning me, and I was left shocked, only to have my rage tell him untruths.
I sorely wish I could go back and change it all but it's far too late for that now, but perhaps he is better off without me. He will continue his life, marry some beautiful pure blood, have gorgeous children, and leave me standing in the dust with only memories. But it's nothing I don't deserve.
I saw Blaise today. He was at a cafe that I frequent. As soon as I walked in he jumped up and immediately came to say hello. We had a queer and awkward conversation until he finally blurted it out and told me he needed to talk to me.
We sat down, Blaise took a deep breath and told me something that shocked me to my core and caused me to almost cry. He told me that around the time I started becoming friends with Draco, Blaise made a bet with him. The bet was to make me fall in love with him or he would loose 50 galleons. He didn't succeed. He then also went on to tell me the state in which he had found his best friend the morning after I left.
I sat there in stoney silence as I listened to his description and how close Draco was to having a panic attack. And then, he told me the most surprising thing of all, that although I didn't love him, Draco had always loved me even before the bet. He said it was because he knew of Draco's crush on me that he even came up with the bet and that he had never meant for anything bad to come out of it.
It was then I asked him if he knew what Draco's intention was behind telling me about the bet. Blaise told me Draco had originally did it to cause a break up as he was beginning to feel suffocated, but he later admitted it was really all in his head.
Soon after, we said our goodbyes and I was left to stew with my thoughts and the answers I was given.
My head spun and I was turmoil as I walked up the steps to the Malfoy mansion. I had to correct what was wrong but that didn't mean I was prepared to do so. But I knew, if I wanted to ever be with Draco again this had to be done.
Reaching the front door I grabbed the knocker and brought it down thrice. The door was quickly opened by a house elf who ushered me in and told me master Malfoy would be down any second now.
I sat on the couch gazing around until I heard the sound of a book dropping behind me.
"H-Her-Hermione" Draco stuttered.
"Hello Draco" I said softly
"What are you doing here" he whispered looking down.
"It seems, there has been a misunderstanding"
"Oh?"
"Yes, and I am here to remedy it."
I spent the next half an hour or so telling him what I truly felt, what had really happened, and rectifying all the lies I told. It all began to feel normal again soon after and I felt hope for us blooming.
"Look, Hermione, I'm not sure I can go through it again." Draco said with a determined look on his face although it seemed like he wanted to cry.
"Go through the what again? Being with me?"
"No. The pain that comes after you leave."
"But how do you know for sure I will leave?"
"It's just...I'm not sure if we're meant for each other Hermione. I'm not sure if we fit. I'm never enough and you're forever too much and that sort of love won't last."
"That may be true," Hermione said with a small smile, "But I'm willing to try. And anyway I think we balance each other out quite nicely, don't you?"
It's short I know but it's only so they get a happy ending. I hope you all enjoyed it!