A/N: Not much to say. Apparently when I meant "Finals Week" I meant "I-have-way-too-much-time-on-my-hands week" and "I've-eaten-nothing-but-chicken-and-rice week".
TMI? I think so.
Please leave a comment, whether it's to chat about the story or to say you like chicken and rice too!
Noun
Conrad flipped open another book and scowled at its pages. What was all this nonsense about vampires sparkling? He tossed it to the side and carefully selected another.
'Hmm… more lies.' He thought to himself as he read of a vampire having a feast of roast bird and wine. As far as he knew, everything he ate tasted dry and draining. It took to much energy to eat something that didn't even nourish him.
Conrad sighed and picked up another book. Depressing thoughts were probably right under the definition of 'vampire'.
That gave him an idea. He shuffled through his desk to find a blank paper and pen.
Con-rad (n.)
A vampire.
A vampire that does not sparkle.
A vampire that drinks blood from a bag.
There, that should do it for now. He turned back to the other books on his desk.
He was distracted, though. Was that really all that defined him? Was 'vampire' his first definition? Surely not.
But what should he put before that? "Freelance graphic designer"? Sure, it was his job, and what he loved to do, but…
He crossed out the second definition and instead wrote:
Con-rad (n.)
Previously human.
A vampire.
A vampire that drinks blood from a bag.
Well, that made him sound like some sort of monster, which, in truth, he really was. Not welcome in the human society, not welcome in the vampire society.
Still, he just didn't like the sound of that. He threw out the paper altogether and grabbed a new sheet.
Con-rad (n.)
A vampire that desperately tries to be his human self but really fails at it because for some reason he can't totally embrace either side of himself…
What? What was he doing, writing a teenage romance novel? No, no, no, that would never do. He threw out that paper as well.
Okay, time for honesty.
Con-rad (n.)
A freelance graphic designer who was turned into a vampire.
A vampire who does not like drinking blood from a bag but who is afraid to drink from a human.
A human-turned-vampire that really does not want to go back being human but who is terrified of being a vampire.
That's it, really.
Huh. Okay then. That was the truth but… he just did not want to accept that.
He crumpled up that paper too and threw it in the trashcan beside his desk.
Maybe trying to define himself was a bad idea after all. He flipped open another book and settled down to read it.
Hopefully no one would go digging around his trash.