I haven't written anything in a while and I watched the Christmas episode last night and loved it so much AND I have Kames on the brain, so I wanted to do this.

Title: There's Something About James

Summary: Even when they were kids, Kendall always knew that there was something really special about his best friend James.

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Drama

Characters: James Diamond and Kendall Knight

Pairing: Kames

There's Something About James

Kendall Knight alwas knew that there was something different about his best friend James Diamond. Even when they were kids. He was the second to last to join hockey (he'd complained about helmet hair), he was the first of them to join every talent show and play and chorus the school had, he was also the first of them to claim that he was going to rise to the top and become famous. Yes, there was definitely something different about James Diamond apart from himself and the other boys. Kendall always knew that.

As the years went by, Kendall noticed something more about James. He'd been...girly? Kendall didn't like to use that word, but it was something like that. Besides, girly was much more kind than "gay". Even if James was gay, Kendall didn't like to use that word. It was ugly and mean.

Then again, that's exactly what Kendall thought James was. He wasn't against it. Rather, he was happy that James was being himself. Even if he didn't say it, because hell, the guys already knew. It was hard not to know. I mean what teenage boy carries a comb in his jacket? None that Kendall ever knew. That's what made James so special. He was crazy, and feminine, and...James. Kendall loved his friends for who they were, and James was no different.

The only problem with all of this was that Kendall wasn't exactly as out about himself as James was. He was more masculine. More hockey-headed. Sure, he dressed up like a girl and liked it, but he was definitely not any gayer than James Diamond was. Was that okay? Kendall had no idea if it was.

The only solid reason why they were where they are today was because Kendall thought of James first. He came for James. He came to Hollywood so that James could become famous. So that James could have the life he's always dreamt of. Did Kendall tell him that? No, but he knew that if he did, it would start up a fight for sure. Because Kendall was pretty sure himself that James came for Kendall and not himself. And that was all very contradicting.

Yes, Kendall Knight knew that there was something very different about his best friend James Diamond. Even as kids. Now, as teenagers, Kendall knew that there would be no fighting feelings and emotions that would come along with the knowledge. He wasn't sure about James' end, but he was very sure about his own end.

Because when there's something about James, Kendall knew that there was something about himself. That it was pure fact in Kendall's head that he had romantic feelings for his best comb-toting, mirror-flaunting, hair-primping friend. What he would do with those feelings, Kendall knew it was up to himself to determine that path. Yet with success and fame and fortune, he didn't know how to sift it into the mix without chasing away everything that he knew and loved about life. Sure, he wished that they were in Minnesota sometimes, but this was James' dream and opportunity. He wasn't going to tear that away from James.

Kendall was a friend person. A family person. He always put others ahead of himself. It happened after his father left. He became so...protective and caring. He couldn't help it. It's just how he was raised and how he became. Not that it was a bad thing, but every so often, he wished that he could put himself first just for once to do something that he wanted to do. Yet, he could never bring himself to do it. It felt too selfish. So when the opportunity came to go to Hollywood, all Kendall could think about James and his dream. So he did it. Just for James.

There was nothing in the world Kendall wouldn't do for his friends and family. James was no exception. James was definitly no exception and Kendall had no problem making others happy. It made him happy when he made others happy. No black and whites about it.

Kendall opened his litte green journal at least three times a day. No matter where he was. There was tons of stuff in there about his family, his thoughts, and mostly about James. Nobody ever saw it, nobody knew about it. Kendall couldn't count the number of times he'd written that he was in love with James. Even if he wanted to count, he was sure that it would be a tedious job. He knew it outweighed the hate for his father, though. James was first in his life along with his mom and little sister. Nothing else mattered to him. Except the love for his best friend.

There had always been something different about James. Kendall knew it since he was nine. However it wasn't until he was thirteen that he realized why everything was so different. There was nothing he could do about them. It was a normal thing. He just wished that he could express those feelings openly. He was sure that James wouldn't ridicule him, but he was for sure that James wouldn't believe him. That was worse than telling. Everytime he thought about it, fear gripped him.

Gay was the something different about James. Gay was the thing that kept Kendall from saying anything out loud. It wasn't that he feared being gay. It was that he feared James not believing he was gay. That was worse than anything.

End

Jay