A/N: I do not own Conker or any characters and places related to him or the series. Only the OCs and the story.
Prologue
The scene opens showing a wasteland at night, filled with squirrel skulls littering the whole place.
3 billion squirrels' lives ended one night in the year 2001…4 years later, the survivors lived only to face a new nightmare…it wasn't a war against the machines…it was a war against…
Suddenly a robotic foot stomps and crushes one of the skulls, the camera moves up revealing a cyborg teddy bear like creature holding some kind of futuristic rifle.
…the Tediz…
The screen zooms out into a full screen of a fierce war between an organization known as SHC (Squirrels High Command), an army made out purely of squirrels of all kinds, against the demonic and evil cyborg teddy bears known as the Tediz. Bullets flying, explosions, guns blazing, vehicles being destroyed and blown up, blood splatters as friend and foe alike was being killed one after the other.
Meanwhile, a group of elite troopers of the SHC were watching the war from their hideout, concerned and worried about how to end this terrible war against those terrifying creatures. Until they notice someone walk in, they salute to him.
The resistance needed a hero…what they got was a fearless, courageous…and unrelenting warrior…
The screen reveals the hero, to be a red squirrel with blue eyes, wearing a green helmet with the SHC logo on it, a bullet mark, some blood stains on it, was wearing an army outfit, smoking a cigar and carrying an assault rifle over his shoulder, watching the war from behind a barrier of sand bags, through his binoculars. He took his eyes off the binoculars and looks at the reader.
"I'm back!" he said.
Conker the Squirrel. This young warrior, was once a greedy, alcoholic jerk, but after undergoing so many terrible events in the past he become the king of all the land, plus owning all the money in the world. But unfortunately, he had soon come to realize, that what is important in life is what you've already have. To make matters worse, his true biggest desire in life was killed before his very eyes. Now, no longer a king, he is now fighting a war against these terrors.
As Conker was watching the war, he suddenly looked down in sadness, "Berri…" he whispered.
"Hey son, you okay?" Conker looked up to see a large, strong squirrel with a big mustache and wearing a high ranked SHC outfit. It was the SHC Colonel.
Conker sighted. "Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it." He said.
"Good, listen well soldier, even though you were the king of all the land, I must warn you, this enemy is even far greater than the one we faced in the past." SHC Colonel said. "You are our Hero soldier in the army, you along with our elite soldiers will have to penetrate the Tediz's Headquarters just across the wasteland and take them down once and for all."
"Yeah, I get the picture…" Conker said. "So, how are our elite soldiers?"
SHC Colonel turned to the elite soldiers and cleared his throat. "Attention!" he said. "Listen up, you are our elite soldiers and you must help our Hero infiltrate the base undetected in order to put this war to an end once and for all!"
The Elite soldiers nodded as they revealed themselves.
"Now, I want a status report…Demolisher?"
"I'm pumped!" A large powerful squirrel carrying a bazooka barked in excitement.
"Long Ranger?"
"In position and ready to go!" A tall and handsome squirrel with an eye patch over his right eye, carrying a sniper rifle said.
"Sneeker?"
"Can't wait!" A female chipmunk posing like a samurai with her katana said.
"Thermophile?"
"Showtime baby!" A squirrel with googles carrying a flamethrower said.
"Sky Jokey?"
"Ready to fly sir!" a squirrel in a pilot suit said.
"Squirrel Shield?"
"Reporting for duty sir!" a small squirrel wearing glasses and wearing an indestructible suit of armor saluted.
"Alright, it's the assault of the century!" Colonel said. "Now move out men! Move, move, move!"
"Aye aye sir!" Conker and the elite soldiers saluted.
Conker went ahead followed by elite squad as they along with the elite soldiers went inside their transport, that would take them across the war zone. Inside, Conker was feeling fired up to take down the Tediz, but at the same time he couldn't stop thinking about Berri as he looked at a picture of hers he always keeps with him. She was a tall grey chipmunk with blonde hair in a ponytail style, wearing a pink tank top and shorts; she was twice Conker's size.
The Squirrel Shield soldier went up to him. "Thinking about your girlfriend Conker?" he asked.
"What the?" Conker quickly hide the picture. "Rodent! How many times I have told you not to interrupt someone's moment?"
The Squirrel Shield soldier, known as Rodent, looked down with shame. "Sorry Conker, I didn't mean to…" he said sadly. "I understand what it means to lose someone you love."
"Hmm?" Conker looked a little confused at Rodent.
"Even though you two didn't seem to hang out as much as you did when you were kids, deep inside you've always loved her like she was the true reason for you to continue on and never give up on your life…" Rodent said. "I know this, because you're my best friend Conker."
"Rodent…" Conker looked surprisingly touched by Rodent's words.
"Conker, when the war is over, remember, I'm your one and true friend, and I'll always be there to help you when in need." Rodent said.
Conker remained silent after hearing those words from Rodent. It's true, everything he said was true. Berri was the love of his life ever since their childhood. But since Conker became a greedy alcoholic, their relationship started to go downhill, until their heist on the Feral Reserve Bank, where the tragedy took place: Berri was killed before his very eyes by Don Weaso, under orders from the Panther King. Worst of all, he became the king of all the land and owed all the money in the world, but didn't have anyone to share with and was surrounded by people who annoyed him throughout his adventure. Conker was surprised because, even though Rodent was one of them, he actually looked up to him as a true friend.
"Rodent, you…" Conker broke down in tears before he could say anything.
"Come on Conker, now is not the time to cry, we have a war to fight, and you need to be strong!" Rodent said patting him on the back. "Berri would have liked it better this way, and you know it!"
"You're…right…" Conker said as he whips away his tears. "Now's not the time for crying, now it's time to put an end to this war, once and for all!"
"That's the spirit Conker!" Rodent said happily.
Then the Demolisher soldier walked up to them. "Hey, don't forget about me man!" he said. "I'm your friend too!"
"And me!" The Sneeker soldier said.
"And us!" The Long Ranger and Thermophile said, along with the Sky Jokey.
"You guys…" Conker didn't know what to say.
Suddenly, they react in surprise when the ship suddenly shook violently. "Buckle up guys! The Tediz are trying to prevent us from reaching their base!" The Sky Jockey, who was piloting the transport announced. "I'm in need of some extra fire power to defend the transport!"
"Right, count me in!" Conker volunteered.
"Me too!" Rodent volunteered as well.
The other elite soldiers also volunteered. Conker and the elite squad got into their torrents. Tediz were shooting missiles and sending fighters to take them down. Conker along with the others fire at them in order to prevent them from causing any damage on the transport. It was a long trip and battle, but soon after, they finally reached the enemy base.
"Alright! We're over the enemy lines now!" the Sky Jokey announced. "There's no place to land though so you'll have to parachute all the way there.
"Fine, let's move out soldiers!" Conker announced.
"Aye aye sir!" The elite squad saluted to Conker.
Conker, Rodent, and the Elite Squad, excluding the Sky Jokey who remains piloting the transport, walk up to the door. When it opened, it revealed the night sky over the Tediz Base down below.
"Okay…" Conker and the elite squad dash out of the transport and into the open air. "GERONIMO!"
Conker and the elite squad sky dive all the way down toward the Tediz Base, when suddenly a bunch of heat seeking missiles fly toward them.
"Oh no you don't!" Conker pulls out his assault rifle and fires at the heat seeking missles.
"Uh oh!" Rodent retreated into his suit. The missiles hit him, but didn't leave a single scratch on his suit.
The Demolisher fires his bazooka at the missiles, the Sneeker slices them in two with her katana, the Long Ranger shoots them with his sniper rifle and the Thermophile uses his flamethrower on them.
When they were near the ground, they pull out their parachutes and landed safely in the base. Soon after, a squad of cyborg Tediz appear, hissing toward them as they fire their weapons at them, but they dodge it.
"Eat blaze Mother buzzers!" Conker shouted as he fires his assault rifle at the Tediz.
"BBQ time!" the Thermophile fired his flamethrower at the Tediz.
"Slice and Dice losers!" The Sneeker sliced them to bits with her katana.
"Come on you Mother#$&%ers!" The Demolisher battle cried as he fired his bazooka at the Tediz.
"Ratatatatatatatatata!" Rodent battle cried as he fires a pair of Mini Guns at the Tediz.
"Heads up $%&#head!" The Long Ranger fired his sniper rifle at Tediz from far away.
Conker and his elite squad unleash their fury on the Tediz army, showing no mercy and leaving no one behind. Soon after, Conker and his elite squad went separate ways in order to penetrate the interior of the base, while Conker and Rodent went together through one way.
As Conker and Rodent went on, they stumble upon a high security door with two buttons on each side.
"Hmm, I suppose one of these buttons will open the door, while the other will…ya know, frying tonight?" Conker asked Rodent.
"Actually, it's the lastest of high tech security: a double button door." Rodent explained.
"Uh huh, and what does that mean?" Conker asked.
"It means you need to press both buttons on each side of the door at the same time, in order to open it." Rodent said.
"Oh, okay, I'll push this one while you push the other." Conker said.
"You got it partner!" Rodent said as he walked up to the other.
"On the count of three!" Rodent and Conker got into position. "One…two…THREE!"
Conker and Rodent successfully pushed the two buttons at the same time, thus opening the door.
"Hey! That worked! Let's go!" Conker said ready with his assault rifle.
"Right behind you!" Rodent said ready with his Mini Guns.
Conker and Rodent venture their way through the hallways. More Tediz pop out from their hiding places and attack them with their weapons.
Rodent gets in front of Conker and retreats into his suit, protecting him from the Tediz's shots. Next Conker and Rodent fire their weapons at the Tediz, killing them. They continue on through the hallways, avoiding all kinds of traps such as laser fences and flamethrowers, along with attack torrents and more Tediz. Conker and Rodent proved to be an unstoppable team against all of these. Along the way, the elite squad helps out by taking down a few traps they couldn't get past themselves from where they were.
Hours later of avoiding traps and killing Tediz, Conker and Rodent reached a large metallic door. "Looks like we've reached the center of the base!" Rodent said. "I think…"
"You think?" Conker asked.
"Uh, yeah…" Rodent said nervously.
"Right, only one way to find out, we have to see what's on the other side." Conker said.
"Yes, but first we need to figure out how to open it." Rodent said.
"Zorry, but you won't get any zuther then zis!" a familiar voice spoke.
"Huh? I recognize that voice!" Conker said in suspicion.
Rodent looked back and saw a rocket flying toward Conker. "CONKER LOOK OUT!" the squirrel jumped in front of the missile and retreated into his suit, taking the hit for Conker, thus saving his life.
"What the?" Conker looked behind and noticed Rodent coming out of his suit. "Rodent?"
"Ah #%$&! You #&%$ing Squirrel Shield ruined my plan!" the person revealed to be a pissed off legless weasel wearing a lab coat with the left side of his face and left arm replaced with cyborg parts and sitting on a hoverchair equipped with a rocket launcher, lasers and machine guns.
"Professor Von Kriplespac!" Conker growled in disgust
"Ah, Conker the Squirrel, the little #$&%er who defeated my Tediz in the past now trying to ruin my plans to take over the world again!" Von Kriplespac glared. "Well, time to meet your doom!"
"I don't think so asshole!" Conker growled ready with his assault rifle.
"I'll help too!" Rodent said ready with his Mini Guns.
PROFESSOR VON KRIPLESPAC (Theme: Ze Professor)
Von Kriplespac fires his machine guns at the two squirrels. Rodent uses his suit to protect Conker and himself from the shots. Conker fires his assault rifle at Von Kriplespac, but he dodges swiftly.
"Too slow, ya little #&$%er!" Von Krisplespac glared and charges at them in a blue energy field.
"ACK!" Conker and Rodent were knocked backwards by the professor's attack.
"Take that!" Von Krisplespac laughed maniacally.
Conker growled furiously, he fires a grenade from his assault rifle at Von Krisplespac, but the mad scientist type villain dodged it swiftly. Rodent tries to fire his Mini Guns, but he dodges it too.
"DIE!" Von Krisplespac shouted as he fires his lasers at them both.
Rodent struggles to resist the attack with his suit, while Conker remains behind him. Conker tries to shoot Von Krisplespac with his assault rifle and manages to hit him.
"AAARGH!" Von Krisplespac cried in pain as he took damage from Conker's shots.
"Yeah! I've gotcha!" Conker grinned.
"I'm not zinished vet!" Von Kriplespac growled he fires his missiles at them.
Rodent continues to block his attacks using his suit while Conker remains behind him. Conker then fires his assault rifle's grenades, but the mad professor dodges them.
Next Von Krisplespac charges at them in a blue energy field, knocking both Rodent and Conker backwards against a wall.
"OW!" both of them cried in pain.
Conker growled as he and Rodent fired their weapons at Von Krisplespac, but he keeps dodging their shots. The mad professor then fires his machine guns, but Rodent blocks them with his suit while Conker hides behind him.
"Here I go!" Von Krisplespac charges at them in a blue energy field again.
"Oh no you don't!" Conker grabbed Rodent and both jumped out of the way.
"What the $%&#?" Von Krisplespac cried in terror as he ends up ramming against the wall.
"NOW!" Conker and Rodent fired their weapons at Von Krisplespac's hoverchair from behind, causing some damage.
"AAARGH!" Von Krisplespac cried in pain from the damage, as he recovers. "You little $%&#ers!"
"What's the matter? Come and get us!" Conker taunted.
"You vill not make a fool out of me!" Von Krisplespac fires his machine guns and missiles at them.
Rodent keeps blocking them with his suit, with Conker remains behind him. Conker then fires his assault rifle at the mad professor, but he dodges with ease.
"Now, you vill DIE!" Von Kriplespac fires his lasers at them.
While Rodent blocks the attack with his suit, Conker then fires a grenade from his assault rifle and hits Von Krisplespac!
"AAAAAARGH!" Von Kriplespac cried in pain from the damage. "You little…huh?" he hears a strange noise coming from his chair. "Oh $%&#!" his chair brakes down and collapses on the floor. "OWWW!" Von Krisplespac fell off the chair.
Professor Von Kriplespac was defeated.
"We…we beat him!" Conker said. "Yeah! We beat him!"
"Yeah, we showed him!" Rodent said.
"Now, back to the door!" Conker said.
"Yeah!" Rodent said.
Both Squirrels walked up to the door when suddenly they hear a rumbling noise and the whole place shaking. "Wha? What now?" Conker demanded.
Then suddenly a titanic cyborg Tedi landed next to them. It was 20 feet tall, mechanical left side, arms and legs, sharp claws, and a horrible arsenal of weapons, as well as a cockpit on top of his head.
"Ah, my newest pet, Mega Tedi!" Von Kriplespac laughed maniacally.
The giant cyborg Tedi walked over to Von Kriplespac, picks him up and places him in the cockpit in his head. The professor then pushes a button, covering the cockpit with a protective windshield.
"Oh man, no way we can beat that! We have to run away!" Conker shouted.
"Agreed!" Rodent said.
And both squirrels ran as fast as their legs could.
"Mega Tedi! Kill!" Von Kriplespac ordered as his new monstrous pet started chasing them both.
"All elite units! Abort mission! Evacuate back to base for a debriefing!" Conker shouted on his communicator to the rest of his elite squad as both he and Rodent were chased by the professor and his monster.
As soon as they made it out, The elite soldiers already managed to reach the transport, Von Kriplespac was gaining on both Conker and Rodent. Suddenly someone blocked their way, but it wasn't a Tedi, it was…
"No!" Conker gasped in horror as a grey female chipmunk in a lethal outfit, sunglasses and wearing a mechanical helmet on her head was blocking their way.
"This is not good!" Rodent said.
"Ah yes! The commander of my new Tediz army, Berri!" Von Kriplespac laughed maniacally. "Go! Attack them!"
"Berri! Stop! It's me! Conker!" Conker tried to talk sense into Berri.
Berri however sends a roundhouse kick at them. Conker saw this and he ends up pushing and sending Rodent flying toward the transport, while he was hit by the kick and was sent flying into the Mega Tedi's grip.
"Conker!" Rodent screamed in terror as he landed back inside the transport.
"You guys go! It's better me then you guys!" Conker screamed under the monster's grip.
"No way!" the Demolisher was about to fire his bazooka but was stopped by Rodent and the others.
"No! Don't shoot! You might hit Conker!" Rodent screamed.
"But…" the Demolisher was about to protest.
"Let's just do what he says, there's nothing we can do to save him now!" the Sneeker said.
"Fine…" the Demolisher said disappointed.
"Here we go!" the Sky Jokey announced as they were off flying, leaving Conker under the deadly grip of the Mega Tedi while Von Kriplespac laughed maniacally and Berri just stood there emotionlessly.
"Vooks like your so-called vriends have abandoned you!" Von Kriplespac laughed. "How does it feel to finally meet your end? How does it feel to be attacked by the once your girlfriend?"
"Berri! Please! Listen to me! It's me, your boyfriend, Conker the Squirrel!" Conker shouted at the top of his lungs while struggling in the grip.
"It's no use, Berri is completely under my control now! She answers to my will alone!" Von Kriplespac said evilly. "She knows nothing about you anymore!"
Conker kept struggling under the monster's grip, as Von Kriplespac laughs evilly and Berri stood there emotionless.
Conker's POV
I guess it's true what they all say, life does flashback before your eyes, when you're in the brink of death. 4 years ago, before all this mess started, I was just a regular squirrel. I was raised by my parents, to be a good little squirrel boy, always follow the rules, avoid being greedy and alcohol. I've followed these rules as a child and as a child…I met Berri, the cutest, most beautiful chipmunk a guy like me could ever meet. We both started a relationship very quickly and soon we even started living together in our own little house. It was love at first sight indeed!
But as years passed, my life had most certainly started going downhill. I have recklessly disobeyed my parents wishes, I've became a greedy alcoholic, who unnecessarily insulted anyone who annoyed me, going to pubs hanging with my pals, drinking until I became drunk and I hardly got to see Berri, who was easily annoyed with my new bad behavior.
Then one day, I woke up in a place known as the Panther Kingdom after drinking too much rounds of beer. There I've had an adventure of many horrible events and met a bunch of morons who annoyed me to death through it all. I had to retrieve a hive for a queen bee, fight some fire guys in their giant boiler robot, battle a singing pile of poo, fight some cavemen, getting turned into a bat by a vampire, join the first war against the Tediz, met the Fairy Panther King, double-crossed by Don Weaso, who shot Berri to death, and then take down an alien in a vault whish was actually a spaceship, with the help of some software designers, during the game's lock up. After all those events, I was crowned king of all the land by the same people who annoyed me to death. I was mad at myself and all of this, because I completely forgot to ask the programmers to bring Berri back to life and was left sitting on the throne, surrounded by those idiots.
It was a day I liked to call: a "Bad Fur Day".
However, 4 years later, I was shocked to find out that Professor Von Kriplespac had indeed survived his peril after being sucked out the air lock during the final battle of my Bad Fur Day, and he was leading the Tediz again, now more powerful than ever before. He completely overpowered us and destroyed more than half of the Panther Kingdom. But the worst part is: his Tediz commander was none other than Berri! Apparently, the Professor somehow brought her back to life and turned her into his puppet! I was shocked beyond belief!
Rodent and I so far were the only survivors of his assault and we were saved the last minute by the SHC (Squirrels High Command). The Professor and his Tediz then built over what used to be the castle a giant fortress, which became his and his Tediz main base of operations.
No longer the king of all the land, I have decided to join the SHC and defeat that bastard and his Tediz once and for all! This is going to be an adventure I like to call: Live and Reloaded!
CONKER: LIVE & RELOADED
A/N: So? What do you think? I'd say it's a great beginning for a continuation of Conker's Bad Fur Day, a story based on the war between the SHC and the Tediz! Well, R&R if you would like to see the next chapter! Peace!