Disclaimer : I do not own any character of (The Last of Us) TLOU is owned by Naughty Dog, but all the Oc character are my invention.

Warning: This Fiction story includes: some violence, age difference relationship, strong language, and some smutty scene in several chapters. If you don't like these themes, please do not read this story thanks.

Story Summary: This is the sequel to the (learning how to swim and love): I recommend that you read that one first. It's been two years since Joel leave Jackson. Ellie live there the best way she can, but now that she is eighteen years old, she is determined to go out of Jackson to find Joel. As the firefly are still looking for them, Ellie will be able to find Joel before they found him and be together again or fate are going to continue to keep them apart. Read and find out, and I hope you liked. Joel/Ellie. This fiction included a little of everything: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Action, Romance, Adventure.

A/N: Hi, here is the second part of my first story; "learning how to swim and love". I want to thanks all the people that read the first one I hope that some of you come back, and continue with the story. I still learning on all this so I hope the you like this one as much you like the first one, well to the one who liked, anyway. As I don't receive much comment to that one I don't how much people liked or not. But for the one who those and post comment, I give you all my thanks and hope that you enjoy this one too. Like the first one, the chapter are going to be post every Monday, so is going to be one chapter for week, if all go well and I don`t have any problem o delay.

Chapter 1 : A place without Joel is not Home

*Prologue*

It's August 25, 2037, almost the end of the summer now, early in the morning in the town of Jackson. Ellie is awake, sitting on the edge of the bed in Joel`s room. She hasn't been sleeping very well for the past month, having more nightmares of Joel lately. So she decides to have some distraction, to get Joel out of her mind, but she fails. Now she is holding an old guitar in her arms and moving her fingers, trying to play something... like she's been trying to do for the past two years.

But even when Tommy tries to give her some lessons on how to play, she doesn't learn much, only the basics. She doesn't have much interest in learning because she was hoping for Joel to do that, so having Tommy try to teach her wasn't good for her. She wanted to see the look on Joel's face when she gave him the guitar on his birthday, but that day never came because he was gone before that. She left the guitar in Joel`s room after she went to live with Tommy and Maria, but after a few months, when Ellie felt better, Tommy went and got the guitar from the old house and tried to teach her how to play.

That didn't go well because it started to make Ellie sad again, so Tommy decided to take the guitar back to the old house and leave it there. But now that she is back to live in the house that they shared together, she tries to play again when she can't sleep. She just takes the guitar and tries to play a song, and tries to imagine him in the room with her. Now is one of those days, so now she takes the guitar, puts it in her lap, and holds it with her hand, then starts to move her fingers on the guitar strings, trying to play and sing a song that Joel sang to her. Joel sometimes sang to her after she had a nightmare, after they arrived at Jackson to live there for the rest of their lives. When she starts, some tears start to form in her eyes; thinking of Joel always does that. Suddenly she stops when she hears a voice coming from the door of the room… His voice.

"What are you doing, Kiddo?" says the voice.

"I'm trying to play a song that you sang to me when I had a nightmare," Ellie answers the voice like it's routine.

"Did Tommy teach you how?" asks the voice.

"Well… he tried, but I don't think he was as good as you," answers Ellie.

"Yeah, he never liked to play the guitar too much, but he was always good at other things."

"You know the funny thing is that this was your birthday present, before you left, and you were the one that was supposed to teach me how to play," says Ellie, looking at the guitar.

"Yeah, I know, you've been telling me that like 100 times," answers the voice with a little laugh.

"Why do you always stay in the doorway and never enter the room?" Ellie asks the voice, but not even looking at the door.

"I think you know the answer to that question," says the voice.

"Are you a ghost?" asks Ellie sadly. "That's why you never came back…"

"That's what you think I am?... You think I'm dead?" asks the voice curiously.

"No, but I don't know what to think anymore - I don't know if all of this is real or I'm just dreaming."

"Why do you ask questions when you already know the answer?"

"You said that you love me… but you abandoned me here. Do you know how much that hurt? Or how many times I've cried and had nightmares? You're supposed to take care of me. You promised to stay with me and never leave. If you had something to do, why didn't you take me with you?" Ellie questions him with some tears forming in her eyes.

"I don't know the answer to that," says the voice.

"If you left because of what we did, you didn't have to, because I love you. Did you love me back?"

"I do love you, kiddo, I said that in the letter I left for you, remember?" says the voice.

"Then why did you leave me?... Or why haven't you come back yet? Is it because of what you did in the hospital?" Ellie continues with the questions.

"I can't answer you on that," the voice says.

"Well, if it's for that, I forgive you. I know that what you did was wrong and selfish. Killing all those people, and - Marlene. I don't know if I'm ever going to forget that, but if the alternative is losing you forever, I prefer to forgive you." After Ellie says that and doesn't receive an answer, she just turns her head to look at the door, but there's nobody there.

"Fuck!... why is this happening to me, shit - another few months of this and I'm going to end up going crazy." Then Ellie puts the guitar on the bed and looks at her right arm. She starts to pass her hand over the watch she is wearing - the watch that Sarah gave Joel, the one he loved so much. He left it in one of the drawers in his room. She thought that he left the watch for her so she could have something to remember him by. She knew how much he loved that watch, because it's the only thing he has left of his daughter.

But before he left, he took with him the one she bought him as a present for Christmas. She thought that he took that one so he'd have something to remind him of her. She keeps looking at the watch. Please, Joel, come back... I need you, I can't take this anymore, I've tried to move on but I can't… so please just come back to me. Then Ellie stands up from the bed, walks to Joel's nightstand, and opens one of the drawers, looking for some clean clothes to change into, and she sees the note that Joel left her two years ago. She picks up the note and and starts to look at it. I can't believe that it's been two years. Then she moves back and sits on the bed again, staring at the note in her hand and thinking of all the time that's already passed.

I can't believe that Joel's been gone for two years; the first few months, I was devastated. After Tommy told me what Joel did in Salt lake City, I was in shock. I didn't want to believe it. I thought that Tommy was just lying, to prevent me from going after him. But he explained how Joel told him and Maria a few weeks after we arrived... tears were falling out of my eyes, and then I just wanted to get out of the house. I ran toward the clinic - I needed to talk with the doctor. I just needed to know the truth. When I arrived, there was no one in the clinic, so I just stayed there to wait for the doctor. A few minutes later he arrived with Maria and Tommy, and they explained everything to me, and I just cried. Maria and Tommy took me to their house and put me in the guest room. I just lost everything that day.

I did nothing for a few weeks... I just stayed in the room, lying in the bed. Maria came from time to time to bring me food, and talk to me, but I just wanted to die. After that, the doctor came to see me, and Maria brought someone with her: a woman named Cynthia. She was like 40 or 50. Maria told me that she helped people with problems, and that she could help me. Yeah… right, like someone can help me now, I just lost Joel and my hope for helping people to find the cure. Jenna came to visit a few times... she only wanted to help me, but at that time, I just wanted to be alone. I started to have nightmares again, but this time not about David or his psycho brother - they were about Joel.

After a few months, Jenna came to see me more frequently and we started to talk. I couldn't tell her about what Joel did because I didn't know if I could tell her about my condition, at least not yet. But as she is the only one that knows about Joel and me, it helped a little. She told me about Brad and her, that they are together now... that made me more sad. I was happy for her, but that brought some pain for me. Tommy and Maria were good; they tried their best to help me and get me back on my feet. I can't complain about that... I was starting to feel a little better at that time.

But as the winter came, I started to feel bad again. It was going to be the first Christmas without Joel since we started living in Jackson. At that time, some things started to change in the town. The trade town in Colorado worked out well - the town got more medical supplies, and we gave them the help and food they need to survive. Albert continued to cause problems for what happened during the attack, and the fucking bastard continued blaming Joel and me for that. Later, he started accusing Maria and Tommy of favoritism, because Joel was his brother. What an ass! Joel was gone, so what the hell more did he want? Lucky for me, Tommy had enough of that and gave him 2 choices - if he didn't like the way they do things in the town, he could go. So he could either get out of town and take his son with him, or go to the trade town and work with the people that volunteered to go there to help. He chose to go to the other town, of course - the coward wouldn't have survived out there for long.

After that, Maria named Harold the new man in charge of the security, as Carl continued with the trade route and the scavenger trips. Some new people showed up at the gate during the winter, looking for help and a place to be safe. So new members were added to the town that winter; lucky for the town, the repairs were finished before the winter, and no new attacks happened during that time. By the time winter was over, Tommy and the construction group started to make a plan to reinforce the fence and make a complete metal wall around the town. They used the vehicles to get to the old factory where Joel and I were held captive, and used the metal from the structure out there to make the wall. Maria said that that would take some time, but it's going to be good for the town, and that the new people can help with that.

When I turned seventeen, I started to sneak out of the town, trying to go and find Joel. Of course, I didn't get far because Tommy ordered Dylan and Bob to keep an eye on me, and Bob always found me. After a few times, Tommy and Maria told me that Joel's chances of surviving out there were better if he thought that I was safe in Jackson and not out there, and that he promised Joel that he and Maria would take care of me. Yeah, like they're good at keeping their promises. But after that, I let them know that I was going to stop sneaking out, of course, for the time being. As the time passed, I tried not to think much of Joel, but sometimes that was really hard, so I tried to concentrate on working again. I started to work with Victor sometimes; he was always nice to me, and he taught me more Spanish, too. I worked a little with Jenna's mom in the greenhouse too. Now the place is bigger than before; they made another greenhouse and put them together, so now there are 3 buildings. But I decided to work more in the clinic; that way, I could finish my medicine study, so I can help Dr. Wilson more.

During the summer, we suffered a few attacks from some bandits, but that was easy to control - just a few wounded, so I had to help more in the clinic that time. After that, I talked to Rose more. Since Joel left, she never asked me about him again, and during the winter, she fell in love with one of the new residents. They live together and they're going to get married next year. More time passed and I tried to distract myself more, so that way I didn't need to think of Joel, but that didn't help much. I was always thinking of Joel: where is he, or what is he doing if he's still alive? I tried not to think much about that last one, because I know that Joel is alive out there somewhere.

Tommy and Maria were happier then that I was getting out of the room and starting to work again, and trying to have a normal life... yeah, they treated me well, like I was their niece or something. I tried to let them see that I was okay, but inside I was not - I needed Joel… I would always need Joel… I love him no matter what he did, even though he was older than me. I tried to tell him that, but he just didn't want to listen. The next winter was cruel; we lost part of the planting and harvesting, a few of the horses too. That was hard for Victor; he loved his horses. After the winter, the town had to work hard to recover from the loss.

Dylan would check on me sometimes. If Joel could see him now… he acted like he was my big brother. He always told me that he considered Joel like a father to him. That made me laugh sometimes because if Joel was like a father to him, I was never going to be his sister. That would just make me like his mother, if Joel and I ended up together somehow... yeah, I wanted to think that sometimes.

During the spring, four more families arrived in Jackson. They said that they escaped from a slave camp in Texas. That they were traveling for months after the slave camp was invaded by infected, and that they were lucky to escape. Of course, they were quarantined and checked by Dr. Wilson. After a few days of not showing any signs of contamination or sickness, Maria gave them welcome to the town... to the man, woman, and children. A few weeks after that was my birthday. After I turned eighteen, I told Tommy and Maria since I was an adult now, I wanted to go back to the house that Joel and I shared, and that I wanted to live in it.

Of course, Maria tried to protest; she said that even though I was eighteen, I was too young to live alone, and that that was unnecessary because I had a place in their house. I know that she just wanted me to stay there, and didn't want me to get back to the house where I was only going to have memories of Joel. But I told her that I needed that, that I needed to be close to him in some way, that getting back to the house would maybe give me some peace. In the end, they let me, but made me promise that I would keep working and not try to leave town, and that they would go and check on me every day... and they did.

The following week, one of them came to visit every day. Dylan came too, and sometimes Bob and Harold. Besides Tommy or Maria, Jenna was the other one that came to visit every day, sometimes with Brad and other times alone. I preferred when she came alone; that way we could talk about things that nobody else knew. After a month, I felt strange in the house. It wasn't the same without Joel in there. I started to sleep in my room, but after a week, I went to Joel's room and slept there. Somehow I just tried to feel his presence, tried to imagine him with me in there... tried to remember the last time we were together, at that ranch. Or the time we spent at the lake, where he taught me how to swim and where I finally understood how much I loved him.

But a short time after that, I just started to have nightmares again. Of course, I didn't tell Maria or Tommy because they would have wanted me to come back to their house, and I didn't want that. I just wanted to be close to him, and being in the house was the best thing. I only told Jenna when she saw me all stressed out sometimes and started questioning me, but I made her promise that she wouldn't tell anyone, and I told her I would be okay. That it was only temporary, and it would pass, like the last time. Of course, I knew that she didn't believe that, but she was always trying to help me. I didn't know what I would do if I didn't have her as my best friend. After that, I told her everything: my immunity, about my journey with Joel, that he was supposed to take me to the Fireflies to help them find a cure… all that we did before we got here. The only thing I didn't tell her was the part about the hospital, what Joel did... I still have some problems dealing with that; even though in some ways I forgive Joel, it's too hard to let people know that Joel condemned humanity just to save me, even after Dr. Wilson said that there was no way that they would have found a cure using me - but we're never going to be sure of that.

This past month, I've been working a few hours with Maria, helping her with some of the things she needs to do. Tommy asked me to help her after they came one day and gave me the good news. After all this time of trying, finally Maria was pregnant. They wanted me to be the first one to know (well, the second, because Dr. Wilson had to be the first), but that was great news. I was happy for them. Maria told me that she was two months pregnant, and Tommy was so happy that he was finally going to be a father. Even with the new medical equipment, there was no way to know what genders the baby was going to be, so they had to wait until the baby was born. Wow, what is Joel going to say when he finds out? I'm sure that he's going to be happy for them.

A few weeks ago, the nightmares started to pass. Not stop completely, but I don't have them as often as before. But now I'm having problems with my sleep, and sometimes when I can't sleep well, I try to play with Joel`s guitar, and sing the song that he sang to me when I had nightmares after we started to live here. But then I started to hear his voice in the doorway of the room, and sometimes I see him just standing there, talking to me. He never enters, just talks to me. I don't know how this happened or if I'm starting to go crazy. Maybe I need to do something... I don't know, but one thing is for sure: if I want to get my sanity back, I need to get Joel back.

A/N: I hope, that you like this story too, as I still a new of this, so I like to read the opinion from people that read my story. So if you liked the story or not you can left a comment or review to LMK, I will always appreciate that thanks. If you have any question, please be free to send me a pm or put them on the review. Remember that English is not my language, so I will try to do my best to answer the best I can, thanks.