AW YISS, gratuitous amounts of Korrlok family for the rest of the month. I can't help myself. And by that I mean I don't even know what the rest of the prompts are so I have no idea how much family Korrlok versus other Korrlok will happen. But I really like this particular story.
I had been so happy that our two sons could waterbend. I didn't regret having children, not for a single second, but there were worries in the earliest days. I could hold, nurse, care for a baby with all the love in the world, but how did I treat an older child? I had lived and trained with the Order of the White Lotus almost since I could remember. There was affection, there was love, but everything came back to bending. The memories of a small warm home shared with nobody but my parents were faint and indistinct. But when Umiak told me he could bend water Nanuq refused to let his older brother outdo him for long, and a few days later he brought me a bowl of water and showed me how he could make it spin.
I was overjoyed. This was something I could talk to them about, teach them about. This was a solid foundation I could work with. No matter how intimidating parenthood seemed, there was always bending. I didn't tell Tarrlok about our youngest. Nanuq insisted that he be the one to tell his father what he could do. As soon as he walked in the door, Nanuq was pulling his pant leg, dragging him over to the bowl in the corner. Tarrlok was all smiles, tossing him up in the air and spinning him around. But when he finally came over to give me a hug, I could see the tightness in his face.
I didn't press him about it. He would tell me what was wrong when he felt comfortable. I was a little worried when he didn't say anything about it that night, even after the boys had been put to bed. He slept restlessly. I drifted in and out of wakefulness as he tossed and turned. Once I opened my eyes to find him staring up at the ceiling. Without words, I reached down by his side and placed my hand in his. He turned on his side to face me, pressing my fingers to his lip for a moment before letting it rest on the sheets. My last memory as I drifted into sleep again was of him holding my hand tightly, like a lifeline.
By the next morning he seemed to be doing better. We always got up early to practice waterbending before the boys woke up. We passed a stream of water back and forth between us, moving faster and faster through increasingly intricate forms. I began to bubble over with plans for the boys, how to teach them to love the water and what it could do, but as I spoke Tarrlok seemed increasingly distracted until finally he lost control of the water and it fell to the ground.
I jumped as it splashed against my legs, but my eyes were on Tarrlok's face. He wouldn't look at me, and I stepped closer and put a hand on his arm. "Hey... what's wrong?"
His voice was strained. "I- I had hoped that our children wouldn't be benders."
"Really? But why? Just think of what they'll be able to do! Especially with the Avatar for a teacher, huh?"
He smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes.
My own grin fell. "Can you tell me?"
"It's just the memories. Two brothers with a father to teach them waterbending..."
"Oh, love." I raised my hand to softly touch his face. He still wouldn't look at me, but took my hand in his and held it against his cheek. I desperately searched for the words to say what I wanted to tell him, but he suddenly spoke.
"After what he did- After what he made us, how can I expect to be a good father to them? Simple parenthood was frightening enough, but now-" I could feel my eyes tearing up, and the silence stretched on as he made a visible effort to collect himself. "All I can see is myself turning them into what Noatak and I became. I can't do that to them, I love them so much-" His voice broke at that, and a single sob escaped him before he pulled himself back into that taut stillness.
I pulled him the few steps it took to reach the bench at the side of our courtyard. He sat next to me, head hanging and staring down at the ground until I reached up to his face to turn him toward me. When he met my eyes, a tear rolled down his cheek to slide against my hand. I embraced him, pressing his head to my chest. He threw his arms around my waist, his shoulders shaking as he quietly cried. I whispered soft reassurances and gently combed my fingers through his hair as I felt hot tears soaking into my shirt. It was a long while before his shoulders stilled.
When he finally raised his head his eyes were red, but he managed a faint smile as I looked up at him. We walked slowly back to the house, hand in hand. We slipped silently into the boys' room and looked down at them as they slept. I gave his hand one last reassuring squeeze before I walked over to Umiak's bed. When he was sitting up and stretching, I turned to see Nanuq in Tarrlok's arms, one arm around his father's neck and rubbing his eyes sleepily. When I saw the expression on Tarrlok's face, I stepped to his side and reached up to touch his cheek one last time. When he looked down at me, I smiled and whispered, "You'll be fine."