Spencer's video diary
Spencer swallowed the lump in her throat and looked directly into the camera that was aimed at the spot on the bed she was sitting at.
"Hey, my name is Spencer Carlin." She shifted on the bed and nervously wrung her hands together.
"I first met Ashley in my junior year of high school and after a couple months of just being friends we began to date. By our first date I knew I had already fallen for her. She was beautiful, funny, smart, kind, and caring." Spencer wiped the tears that were now falling freely down her face and gave a small biter laugh.
"Of course at first our relationship was hard because there are a lot of homophobic people out there but with Ashley by my side I was ready to face anything." Spencer stopped talking and reached over to grab the picture frame on the nightstand. She held it up to reveal her and Ashley wearing beautiful dresses and holding each other close under an arch.
"This was our wedding day." Spencer's voice cracked and more tears fell from her eyes. "It was seven years ago but I still remember it like it was yesterday. When we had our first dance she whispered in my ear that she would always love me and I believed her."
Spencer hurdled the picture across the room, as hard as she could, causing it to shatter everywhere. She refocused her gaze at the camera and she bitterly spoke, "I fucking believed her!"
"Our marriage fell apart when I caught her in bed with another woman. I would have thought that she would have showed some remorse but all she did was pack her things and move out. She later told me that she was living with that thing and she was in love with her." Spencer put her head in her hands and then quickly looked back up.
"I have a son with her and it's so confusing to love someone so much that looks like someone you're trying to hate." This time Spencer gave a small genuine smile and reached for another picture on the nightstand and held it up showing a toddler.
"His name is Justin Clay and he just turned two. Not only did Ashley hurt me she hurt Justin. She hasn't really seen much of him since she left." Spencer gently placed the picture back where it originally was.
"Sometimes I wish had just listened to my mom about her. If I did maybe nothing like this would have happened to me." There was a pregnant pause and then Spencer continued talking.
"I think you should choose me to be on 'Ex-Wives Club' because right now I feel completely empty and the only that keeps me going is my son. I really want to regain my self-esteem and get over her because I'm tired of crying." Spencer sat up, turned the camera off, and sat back on her bed. This was a huge step for her and she prayed that she would be chosen.