Brothers' War
Written by Spiritblade
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own Gundam SeeD. So do not send the Ordo Assassinorum on me, or the lawyers. This is a short story from Athrun's POV from the episodes after he and Kira fought each other, and how he felt in the aftermath of their fateful duel. That scene is one of the most telling scenes on how bitter a fight between 2 former friends. Well, here's my piece anyway.
Have you ever had an argument with your siblings? My being the only child in the family does not give me half that chance, and I am by no means foolish enough to go asking my parents to give me half the nightmare that my schoolmates suffer on a daily basis. But, regardless, fighting with one's siblings is by no means pleasant. Sure, most kids have minor arguments over the silliest things. When they reach their teenage years, they learn that some things are worth fighting over. As adults, there are some things they will not give way to.
The closest guy I considered family was Kira Yamato, the brother I never had. As children, we had been almost inseparable. We worked together, played together, and studied together. Even our teachers were left wondering if we were actually siblings. Our arguments over mathematical calculations and historical facts have left more than enough teachers stumped by the time we were through.
And to think we did that for fun.
I had good memories of those days.
But I would never have anticipated that those memories would eventually become nightmares ten years later.
I saw Kira again, looking at me, standing before the woman who was to become – from what ZAFT Intelligence could gather – the captain of the Archangel, staring down the barrel of my gun. The promise of him joining me in the PLANTs was replaced by the vista of both of us staring at each other in ill-concealed shock amidst the flames of a colony burning.
What I saw and would see would go against everything I knew about my childhood friend. He was the non-violent sort, disliking fights, clumsy, careless and kind. And while everyone feared and respected the Coordinators due to their enhanced abilities, Kira took those fears and turned it into ridiculous assumptions.
He failed at tests that Coordinators could do blindfolded with both hands and one foot tied to the chair! I have seen the shocked looks on the faces of our Natural classmates. Kira – the class genius that even other Coordinators had trouble beating – flunking tests was something out of a Twilight Zone story.
But, it happened.
The one thing I never thought happening happened.
Kira was a cry-baby, like I said, and he disliked fighting. So why was it that I found myself fighting against the one person who was the closest thing I had to a sibling? And for one who disliked fighting, he fought and killed as though it were second nature.
I've heard my fellow ZAFT pilots actually express terror for the 'Crimson Dominion' that launched from the decks of the Archangel. Each time Kira came out, people died. Veterans who have fought in bad odds come out of the engagements with the Archangel shaking, and hitting the bottle just to wipe away the terror and adrenaline which came from such a nerve-wracking mission.
I've tried to reason with him, asking him to cross over, to join ZAFT, to fight alongside his own kind. His reasons, however, when he gave them, were enough to kill any more attempts on my part to convince him. How could you tell someone that protecting his friends was the wrong thing to do? How could you go tell someone that protecting the innocent was stupid?
And from what Lacus told me about him, he has never changed. The robo-bird that I gave to him all those years ago held a place of honour on his shoulder or head was almost never far from him. And I knew almost immediately that Lacus liked him – a lot. What was there to dislike? Clumsy, kind, smart, clueless – God Almighty, I almost half-swore that what Michiru-sensei said about Kira 10 years ago was coming true.
She went as far as to draw him as he would be 10 years later, holding a fiery sword, his battered, lean frame swathed in bloody robes, his dark brown bangs hiding eyes that wept tears of blood, screaming at a blazing sky. Around him were three female angels. One with black wings and hair the colour of blood; one with golden hair and emerald wings; and the last with pink hair and wings the colour of a virgin dawn. All 3 supported him, trying to keep him from toppling.
Yet another drawing that Michiru-sensei made, and that which she showed me, was the drawing of me and Kira fighting. She drew me as a scarlet-winged, glorious angel, crowned in a halo and armed with a spear, smiting my childhood friend, who yet fought with a flaming sword, to the ground. We were both screaming at each other, the words on the drawing ones that we would scream at each other in bitterness and hate as we fought one another 10 year later.
What I thought would never happen happened.
Even as Cagalli stared at me with a fury and tears befitting the celestial in Michiru-sensei's drawing, mourning you, unable to believe that the person who killed you was his childhood friend, my mind could barely comprehend the heinousness of my act. But, what choice did I have? What choice did we have? This is what war is. The insanity of it all, the fact that it turns friend against friend, brother against brother, son against father was beyond question.
I've heard many people try to give it reason when there is none to give. Michiru-sensei was right about one thing: War is a religion older, more ancient than the Word of God. No matter how many years pass, no matter how old the human race would become, this is the one Commandment of Creation that does not change. From the day when Cain murdered his brother, Abel, and reduced the courtesy of the Angel War to the brutal one recorded in the Bible, the fury and hate from that cataclysmic event would shape human history.
The history of man was written in blood and tears, its words spoken in hate and bitterness, and its memory rife with pain and regret. Such is our story, Kira. The future –my future – I have is written in your blood. The tears of Cagalli and those who love you will stain those words from then on, for no amount of forgiveness will erase the fact that I had killed you.
I killed my best friend, the closest thing I had to a brother.
My tears leaked out of me.
Killed…because you kill. You murdered, and you waited for that fate to befall you. You knew it would come, didn't you, Kira?
Cagalli grabbed me by my collar, manhandling me and slamming me against the bedpost, hurting my already fractured arm further, screaming as she put her pistol under my chin. The way she was now, so utterly broken inside, tells me that I have made a terrible mistake. But I had no choice but to make that mistake.
This is war. On the battlefield, it was kill or be killed. That was the law for time immemorial.
I did the right thing, didn't I…? I avenged Nicol, avenged so many others who have died for my mistake.
I…I…I don't know. But I do know one thing.
No amount of pain, no matter how many tears I shed, no many how much anguish is offered, nothing can ever bring you back. I met Cagalli's eyes with my own, screaming a reason that held no logic in them.
Tell me, please, Kira.
You were always the wiser of the both of us. You always had an answer.
Tell me, please.
Tell me how it came to this!