Summary: Ok, so we all know that LWFTWT, wasn't exactly the ending of every lit's dreams. So I find myself saying it again; Thank god for fanfiction. Yeah, I know its been done, but I wanted to put my own little spin on it plus, I cant really stop myself when Im in a writing fit. I have no control. This picks up just as Jess is about to leave at the end of 'Last week fights, this week tights.'
Pairing(s): Rory and Jess. Who else?
Disclaimer: I'm very poor. I know its tragic. Therefore, theres no way I could possibly own GG or be in anyway affiliated with it. Oh and...Dont sue. Why? Refer to my first sentance in this disclaimer please.
Dedication: To all the lovely gals over at the lit thread who, allthough undeniably insane, manage to make me smile all the time. (Oh and a special shoutout to Nicolle, just cos I love her.)
A/N: Hey guys. I had another one of my insane, crazy-lady epiphany's again. And this my friends is what I salvaged out of it:
Someday.
"Why?"
The question echoes through my mind as she asks it. I stop, my previously retreating form no longer moving.
"Why do you want me to come with you?"
The question's so simple. Yet there are so many answers. Why do I want her with me? Is it because when were not together I cant stop aching to be near her? Or maybe because when she's around I feel stronger, more able. There's so many reasons swimming around in my head that I can't seem to pick just one of them.
I look at her. She looks lost, her eyes brimming with unshed tears that she refuses to let fall. I catch her gaze and hold it for a moment, searching her eyes for something. Anything.
"Why?" she asks again, almost pleadingly. Like she needs the answer. I swallow, taking a slow step towards her.
"Because I want to be with you. Somewhere that's not here," I answer and she lets a lone tear glide down her cheek. I ache to reach out and brush it away but I can't. She's not mine to touch anymore.
I try and catch her gaze again but she turns away and starts to study the floor.
"Rory, I love you," I say, not even having to hesitate or contemplate the words as they come out of my mouth. I resist the urge to shake my head, I can't believe I'm the same guy who once believed that love should be best kept in books and movies. That real life was brutal and hard and luxuries such as loving someone was something I couldn't afford. But the woman standing in front of me changed all that. The woman in front of me changed a lot of things about me.
"And I love you."
My eyes widen slightly at her words. What? I ask silently. Her words repeating in my head over and over again but not seeming to register with my mind. She sees my shocked demeanor and takes a slow step toward me.
"I tried not to. I tried to make it go away. Block it out. But I couldn't."
Her voice is thick with sobs now and she starts to pace a little. Her thumb and forefinger reaching up to rub a spot at the brink of her nose. I can't seem to make myself move or talk or engage in any activity at all except stare at her.
She stops pacing and turns to look at me.
"But that doesn't change anything, I wish it did, but I can't..." She chokes on a sob before closing her eyes and sighing. She's hurting, she's hurting and I can't do anything to make it stop. Because I'm the one who's hurting her.
"I can't just," she pauses, catching her breath, flailing her arms, "up and leave everything. My mom's here. Yale's here. My future is here."
"But.." I try but she puts a finger to my lips to silence me.
Tentatively, she moves towards me. She slides one hand on my waist while the other reaches out and brushes against my cheek. I lean into her caress, taking some sort of comfort in it. She moves forward and covers my mouth with hers in a slow, gentle kiss.
When she pulls away, she looks up at me, the tears still cascading down her cheeks. I study them for a moment, watching as they make their way from her eyes, down past her nose until finally dropping from her chin.
"So, this is it," I find myself saying even though I don't want to. I don't want to leave her, not again.
"No. This is me and you, Jess. We don't have an 'it.' Or an end. We'll always love each other. No matter what," she tells me, her voice thick with sincerity. I want to say something, anything. But I can't. I can't think of one thing to say to her.
"Now, just isn't our time," she continues. "We're both at different stages in our life...if we got back together now it would only end in disaster. Even you know that. We need to evolve into the people were going to be. We need to grow up."
I need to speak. I need to object. Tell her she's wrong and that we can be together, that she just needs to give us a chance again. But, how can I? How do I know that she's wrong? I don't. I can't be sure that if we got back together, I wouldn't hurt her again. That I wouldn't leave. Maybe she's right. Maybe we do need to grow up, mature more.
So instead of replying, again I stay silent and decide to focus on my hands for a little while.
We stand like that for a moment, each of us not trusting ourselves to say anything, until she reaches out her hands and cups my chin, turning me to look at her. Forcing me to let her search my eyes for a moment before she speaks and breaks the silence.
"Maybe someday," she whispers, her voice barely audible.
I manage to smile a little at her words.
"Someday?" I ask, knowing that the pleading tone in my voice is noticeable.
She nods, smiling even though I know it's hurting her.
"Yeah, someday."
I carefully reach out and brush a tear from her cheek. Her smile grows a little at this.
I gradually retract my hand from her face and take a step back from her.
"Goodbye," I tell her, the simple phrase hurting more than I thought it ever could. I can see her eyes water up again at this and I get ready to turn around and leave before she grabs my arm.
"No, not goodbye," she announces. "Just..." she closes her eyes, grasping for the right word, the right phrase to define our 'it', our end. "Just, see ya."
I nod. Taking a look at her one last time before walking out of her life again.
See ya Rory Gilmore.
A/N: Runs to her home-made fort to ward off angry, pitch fork wielding lits. I know, closure's a bitch isnt it? But I am just a victim of my crazy muse. Dont hurt me! I am but a child! You can however, leave me a review. :D