Reality Check
Disclaimer - I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.
Rating - Mature (Don't like. Do not read.)
Story Warnings - Swearing, Disturbing imagery, Emotional distress, Character death (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)
Pairings - None (Don't like? Do not read.)
Universe - 2003
Ages - All turtles are 22
Chapter credits - Excerpt from Sun Tzu's Art of War
Author's note - Written for the Writer Nexus August Challenge "Dream Diary"
Summary - The stresses of life have finally caught up to the leader in blue.
Reality Check
It was quiet.
He hated quiet.
Being a ninja, and a mutant turtle, one would think he was accustomed to quietness. That he welcomed it.
Hardly.
He welcomed silence.
Silence and quiet were NOT the same thing.
Silence was his ally. His friend. One could go so far as to say silence was his lover, he had such an intimate relationship with it.
Silence, the absence of any sound, he was comfortable with. But quiet, with it's soft, low sounds, was his enemy.
In quietness, sound constantly assaulted his senses, almost to the point of insanity.
Like now.
The gentle whisper of the ventilation system wasn't so bad. He was used to that. It reminded him of Donatello's lab with it's soft whirr of the cooling fans.
What disturbed him most were the sounds outside his door. The squeak of wheels in need of oil. The click of shoes on tile floor. The murmur of muted voices. Shouting.
He shuddered involuntarily at the images conjured from the depths of his imagination, and memory.
Yes, quietness was his enemy. In ever sense of the word.
He leaned back, letting his head rest against the softness of the wall. He felt marginally better after closing his eyes.
Maybe it wasn't the quietness he found so unsettling. Maybe it was the glaring whiteness that constantly assaulted his senses, even when he closed his eyes.
Silence and darkness went hand-in-hand, like lovers. Or family. They supported one another, giving comfort like a favorite blanket when you had the flu.
Total whiteness did nothing but stab at your eyes, piercing your brain until it felt as if your head would explode. It's brilliance burned. Scorching everything it touched.
Bright light was a ninja's most deadly enemy.
And in this place, he was surrounded by it.
How he came to be there, he had no idea. How long he had been there, he also had no idea. He didn't even know how long he had been wrapped inside the restraint he now wore. Except for meals, which he refused to eat, and trips to the bathroom, in which he was closely watched, he was left pretty much alone.
No brothers. No father. No friends.
Completely alone.
Just him, and the never ending whiteness.
And the quiet.
At this point, an attack from the Foot clan would be welcome.
A new sound shattered the quietness.
He turned to look.
Someone had opened the observation port on the door.
It opened. A man wearing a white lab coat entered the room.
Finally! Maybe now he would get some answers.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Hamato."
The man was very calm for someone meeting a mutant turtle.
"How are we doing today?"
We? This joker wasn't the one locked in a blinding white room wearing a restraint jacket. Must be dense.
"I see. Well, I don't think I would be very talkative either if I were in your situation. But the fact of the matter is, we can't help you if you don't talk to us."
He didn't tolerate Donnie talking to him as if he were a mentally deficient child, and he sure as shell wasn't going to put up with it from this guy.
The man shoved both hands into the pockets of his lab coat, and stared.
Like that's going to work. You never played stare-off against Michelangelo.
The man sighed, dropping his eyes. "Okay."
I win!
"Let's try a different approach. What can I do to help you, Mr. Hamato?"
Maybe not so dense after all.
"Let me go."
The man smiled, as if having won a major victory.
"For that to happen, you have to talk to me."
"Ask something meaningful."
The man's smile dropped just a little.
Spend a lifetime swapping insults with Raphael, doc. You have NOTHING on me!
"Okay, let's start with something simple. What's your name?"
"Hamato Leonardo."
The man looked up from his clipboard. "I thought your surname was Hamato?"
"It is."
"Ahh."
There was the quiet scratching of pen on paper.
Leo frowned. When did he get a clipboard? He didn't come in with it... Did he?
"Age?"
"Twenty-two, by the human calendar."
The pen paused. The man glanced up, raising an eyebrow.
"Gender?"
The quietness grew.
"I thought you were going to talk to me, so I can help you, Mr. Hamato."
"I thought you were going to ask meaningful questions."
The man's lips pressed in a thin line.
"Yes, I am. So, you identify as male?" He stressed the word 'identify'.
"Yes."
"Race?"
Interesting, race not species.
"Red-eared slider."
The man folded his arms over his clipboard, pressing it to his chest. "How long have you identified as a turtle, Mr. Hamato?"
"All my life."
"And why is that?"
This guy wasn't dense; he was stupid.
"I would have thought that was obvious."
"Not to me."
A special kind of stupid.
"Get your eyes checked."
The man frowned. "Mr. Hamato, do you believe you actually LOOK like a turtle?"
Leo's eyes narrowed.
"I see," the man sighed heavily.
He moved back to the door, giving the observation window three sharps raps. The panel slid open. "Inform Doctor Stockman the patient will be arriving shortly."
He turned back to Leo, his hand moving to rest on the doorknob. "We tried to resolve things your way, Mr. Hamato, but to no avail. Now, I'm afraid we must do things..." his voice took on a darker tone. "MY way." He stepped back, pulling the door open.
An orderly, dressed in purple from head to toe, and wearing a surgical face mask, pushed a hospital bed inside the room. A hospital bed complete with red, and orange restraints.
Leo's heart began to race. "No," he shook his head violently as he struggled to get to his feet. "You're not taking me anywhere!"
There was a burning sensation in his left shoulder that quickly spread down his arm. The world folded in on itself at odd angles, sending him back to the floor. His vision instantly filled with a distorted image of the doctor's face.
"Oh yes, Mr. Hamato, I am."
Leo's world spiraled down to a single pinpoint of blazing white light. Seconds later, the light faded to black, and all he felt was relief.
Leo woke to the sensation of being lifted through the air. He was carefully placed on a firm, but covered surface seconds before restraints were tightened around his ankles and wrists.
He didn't try to struggle. He knew his body was still under the influence of whatever drug they had injected him with. And that being the case, he would do himself more harm than good right now. The best strategy would be to gather as much information as possible, using his other senses, and wait for the drugs to wear off.
Leo kept his eyes closed, and his breathing steady. He knew he would learn more if his captors thought he was still dead to the world.
He was lying on a hospital exam table, that much he knew. Obviously restrained. Touch would tell him nothing more.
He had no intentions of letting them put anything in his mouth, so taste was out.
That left sound, and scent.
There was the soft hum of electronic equipment, two very distinct voices in quiet conversation off to his right, and the occasional scratch of someone writing. After a few moments of listening, he heard nothing else.
Nothing unexpected, nor overly informative.
Very carefully Leo inhaled.
There was the smell of antiseptic cleaner in the air, lemon scented. Reminding him of the kind Raphael preferred when cleaning the bathroom.
Go figure Raph would be the anal one about keeping the bathroom clean. One would have thought it would be Donnie.
There was the very familiar scent of ozone, the smell given off by a large number of electronic devices in a small space. And the faintest hint of coffee.
Weak coffee.
Like the kind you get from reusing coffee grounds too many times.
Leo resisted the urge to sigh. He had obtained absolutely nothing of relevance about his captors, or his whereabouts. The only good thing to come from his environmental observations was that the last, lingering effects of the drugs had worn off.
Time to up the ante.
Leo opened his eyes just the tiniest of slits.
He looked left. Nothing but computer screens, viewing windows, and strange looking equipment he doubted even Donatello would know what it was used for.
It was impressive, all those swing arms ending in small pointy instruments, and colored tubes connecting everything.
It was also intimidating.
To the right, Leo saw two men, both wearing lab coats, talking quietly as they looked over papers on a clipboard. One was the man from earlier, and the other...
Leo's blood ran cold.
Baxter Stockman. The insane, maniacal, madman who had relentlessly hounded his family for years.
"It seems our patient is awake."
Leo blinked. Since when did humans cross a room in complete silence?
The corners of Stockman's mouth curled up. "Wonderful! Now we can proceed." He leaned in, his face mere inches from Leo's. "We'll fix you right up, Mr. Hamato."
Leo's heart began to race. He knew that look. Nothing good ever came from THAT look.
He began to struggle.
Twin chuckles filled the air as Stockman looked past his colleague. "Nurse, please bring the mental imaging brain scan probe-a-nator over."
That didn't sound good.
Leo tried to shout around the gag in his mouth.
His nostrils flared as he struggled for air.
When did they gag him? He wasn't gagged a second ago! Why was he gagged now!?
From the corner of his eye, he saw a sinister, diabolical looking machine inching it's way closer.
No one was pushing it!
The long thin needle attached to the end of the swing arm glinted evilly in the light. It turned towards him.
Who was making it move!?
Leo tried to back away from the machine, pulling in vain against the leather collar now strapped across his throat.
He couldn't get away!
Frantically, Leo's eyes darted around the room, desperately searching for something, ANYTHING, to help him out of this situation he had so stupidly gotten himself into.
Stockman threw his head back, laughing manically.
"Soon I shall have all four!" He pointed towards the door, his gloved hands covered in red. "BEHOLD! My greatest achievement!"
Leo looked at the door.
His eyes widened. His muffled screams filled the room.
Raph shuffled into the room followed by Mikey and Donnie. All three had the same drooling, slack-jawed look. The same dead-eyed, blank stare.
"Join us, bro," Mikey mumbled.
"Be one wid us, Fearless."
"Let me fix you," Donnie reached for the swing arm, pulling the needle closer. "It won't hurt."
"Much."
Mikey moved back, standing beside Stockman. He lifted his hands. They too were covered in red.
Leo felt his head gripped in a vise-like hold. He looked up to see Raph staring down at him.
Instead of the normal determined fire he was used to seeing in his brother's amber eyes, all he saw was hatred, anger, and... revenge.
"What'sa matter, Leo. Don'tcha trus' me?"
Leo fought against the restraints. The leather bit deep into his skin. Warm drops slid down his wrists and ankles to drip loudly onto the floor, echoing around the room.
"I know you don't like needles, Leo. I'll be quick."
Leo turned terror filled eyes to look at his genius brother. Gone was the gentleness he was so used to seeing in those deep, chocolate eyes. Replacing it was nothing but pure insanity, warping the brilliance he trusted with his life.
Leo screamed, tears running down his face to pool against Raph's fingers as his emerald brother bruised the sides of his head.
"Don't worry, Leo," Donnie caressed the side of his face. "Soon, you'll be... just like... us."
"Just like... us. Just like... us."
His brothers' chant blended with Stockman's insane laughter.
Leo screamed as the needle tip came closer.
He struggled until it felt as if his arms and legs would rip from his body.
The deadly point kept coming.
Closer.
Closer!
He felt it push against his skin.
They laughed at his helplessness!
Blood welled up.
Someone! Anyone! Please... SAVE ME!
Suddenly the gag was gone. Leo screamed for the one person he had always trusted to never let him down, to always be there for him no matter what.
"SPLINTER!"
Raph was the closest to Leo's room. He burst through the door fully expecting to find his big brother in a life and death struggle with every demon ever imagined.
What he found was ten times worse.
Leo was jammed up in the farthest corner of his bed, pushing himself with his feet back up against the wall so hard his carapace scraped against the rough cement. He had a white knuckled grip on his blanket, holding it as if it were the only thing between him and certain death, and screaming at the top of his lungs.
Raph couldn't imagine a sound like that coming from another living being, let alone his fearless leader. Not even Mikey caught up in his worst nightmares as a child had made a sound anywhere CLOSE to what was coming out of Leo's mouth.
The emerald brawler stood there stunned, not knowing what to do.
Donnie and Mikey had similar reactions when they entered their oldest brother's room.
"What..."
"Leo..." Mikey's nunchucks fell limp to his sides.
Raph cast an expectant look at Donnie, hoping for suggestions, or explanations, or something.
"Night terror," the genius muttered.
Mikey tried to shift his gaze from Leo to Donnie, but couldn't. "Leo doesn't have night terrors, Donnie."
"Apparently he does now."
In the few seconds they had been standing there, Leo had shown no signs of calming.
"Whadda we do, Don?"
Someone had to take charge.
"I... I don't know," Donatello was at a loss. "Leo was the one to always bring Mikey out of his," he turned to Raph. "And you out of yours."
Dammit! Leading was LEO'S job.
Raph drew a deep breath. "Okay, Don, go fer his swords. Get 'em as far from da bed as ya can. I'm going fer Leo."
"What do I do?"
Raph looked at his baby brother standing there, frightened beyond description, but also determined to help regardless of that fear. "Nuttin'. If I let ya help, an' ya get hurt, Leo's never gonna fergive himself." Raph gently cupped the side of Mikey's face. "I'd never fergive myself either."
In perfect synchronization Donnie and Raph moved closer to their screaming brother.
Leo was completely unaware of everything going on except the horrors inside his own mind.
Donnie looked at Raph. The emerald turtle gave a single, quick nod. In one fluid move, the bo wielder pulled his weapon, and swept Leo's katanas across the room to settle at Mikey's feet.
The second Donnie made his move, Raph made his.
Raph slid in behind Leo as far as he could, wrapping his arms around his brother's shoulders, pinning Leo's arms to his sides. He had hoped the feeling of being hugged would snap his brother out of his nightmare. Instead it seemed to pull Leo deeper into whatever horrors he was experiencing.
"Raph!" Donnie dove across the bed, holding onto Leo's legs for all he was worth. "What did you do!?"
"Nuh...thin'!" Raph grunted out, trying to hold onto his struggling brother.
"Ease up! You're holding him too tight!"
"If I do, he's gonna nail us both! I wasn't even holdin' him all dat tight ta begin wid!"
The side of Leo's head brushed against Raph's cheek as the leaf green turtle fought for freedom. The instant he made skin-to-skin contact, Leo jerked away, scraping the back of his head alone the wall.
"He's not wakin' up! We gotta do sum'in 'fore he hurts himself worse dan he already has!"
"I'm open to suggestions!"
In a burst of insight, Mikey ran from the room. Neither brother noticed their baby brother had left until he suddenly appeared between them, holding a bundle of cloth to Leo's face.
Leo fought to get away, but Mikey followed every turn of his brother's head. Without warning, Leo stopped struggling, inhaling deeply the scent of the cloth Mikey held.
"Mike, what is that?" Donnie asked, loosening his grip on Leo's legs.
"It's one of Sensei's robes."
No one said a word as Leo's eyes slowly came back into focus.
"Ra-aph-ee..." Leo's voice was harsh and scratchy from screaming. "Wh-ere..."
"It's okay, Leo." Donnie smiled as he sat up, slowly releasing his hold on his brother's legs. "You're safe now."
Leo's fearful gaze went from one brother to the next, and back again. He glanced around the room, stretching his neck to see behind Raphael, as if searching for something.
Or someone.
"Where's..." Tears began to well up in Leo's eyes. "He was just here..." Slowly those tears began to spill over, trickling down Leo's face. "He came." They began flowing in earnest. "He saved me."
It was Mikey's voice that broke the quietness of the room. "Splinter died, Leo. He's been dead for over a month now."
"No..." Leo began shaking his head. "He's not... He can't be! He SAVED me!" Leo latched onto Raph's arms, eyes pleading for someone to tell him it wasn't true. "He saved me, Raph! Splinter came, and he saved me!"
Raph swallowed around the lump in his throat before answering his brother. "I... I know, Leo. Sensei saved us all. But he's dead. He died from pneumonia during the blizzard."
"No... He can't be!" Leo gave his brother's shoulders a hard shake. "Splinter can't be dead!" Leo froze, a heart wrenching sob burst from his mouth. "He can't be dead. Who'll save me if he's dead?"
Leo wasn't the only one crying in the room.
Donnie reached out a trembling hand, gently stroking Leo's head. "We will," he said softly. "We'll save you, Leo. We'll keep you safe." Donnie blinked rapidly, fighting against the tears that threatened to fall. "Starting right now. I'm going to get some bandages to take care of your head, and while I do that, Mikey's going to make a nest for us." Somehow, some way, Donnie made himself smile. "Just like when we were little, remember? We slept together to keep warm. We took care of each other all the time then. We're going to do that again."
Without another word, Donnie left the room, taking Mikey with him.
Alone with Raph, Leo began to feel the exhaustion left behind from his nightmare ordeal. He leaned into his brother, letting Raph's presence soothe his fears.
"I don't think I can do this, Raphie. I... I never learned how to let someone else take care of me. I always had Splinter."
Raph closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against the top of Leo's head. He pulled his brother close, holding onto him like something precious about to be taken.
"We never learned how ta take care a ya either, Leo. Ya never let us."
Mikey came in, carrying an armload of blankets. Donnie walked in right behind him, first aid kit in hand.
Leo was so quiet watching the two youngest work, Raph thought he had fallen asleep. He found out otherwise when he went to move his brother to the newly made nest in the middle of the floor.
"What do we do to fix this, Raph?"
Raph said nothing as he tucked his brother in between Mikey and Donnie, pulling a blanket up around all three of them. Once satisfied his brothers would be warm, he lay down at the top of the nest, curling around all three.
"On difficult ground, keep movin'. On enclosed ground, devise stratagems. On death ground, fight."
"Which ground are we on?" Mikey asked softly, snuggling up against Leo.
"Take yer pick. Any one'll work. We're gonna keep moving. We're gonna devise stratagems, and we're gonna fight. Cuz no matter what, at da end a da day, all we got is each other."
Thanks for reading.