A/N: So this is my first attempt at writing anything for the Psych fandom, so I hope it turned out okay. Thanks to my lovely friend for beta-ing this for me. This was previously posted on my AO3 account.
He wasn't sure when it had happened, when the annoyance and irritation had turned into this odd, infuriating attraction. Maybe it was the quick, clever thinking or the not-so-subtle physical contact. He wasn't sure why, how, or when it had happened; all Lassiter knew was that he was undeniably, hopelessly attracted to none other than Shawn Spencer. And it was absurd. It was absurd that the thought had even crossed Lassiter's mind, and that he had even kept that ridiculous note Shawn had written him forever ago, something about tires. No one knew but him. No one knew that the note had been sitting in the very back of his desk drawer, folded in a neat little square and tucked safely underneath an unopened package of pens.
Every now and then, when he was sure no one was looking, he would pull out the note and read over the words that had been committed to his memory. And then he would shake his head at his own foolishness and shove the paper back into the drawer. He would try and convince himself that Shawn was nothing more than a nuisance. He would glare at the note and mentally ridicule Shawn's less-than-perfect handwriting, his stupid sense of humor, the fact that he was most definitely not a psychic, no matter how inexplicably helpful his "visions" tended to be. This whole thing was just so incredibly ridiculous, and so very embarrassing. Of the billions of less annoying, more sensible people living on this planet, Lassiter had managed to fall for Shawn.
"What are you thinking so hard about?" Juliet's voice snapped him out of his reverie. He dropped the ballpoint pen that had been none too gently squeezed in his clenched hand, letting it clatter on the surface of his desk.
"Nothing," Lassiter answered gruffly, lowering his head and staring, unfocused, at the open case file that sat in front of him. When Juliet lingered, he lifted his gaze from the file and inspected her cheery face. He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting for her to say something else.
"You seem distracted," Juliet continued. Lassiter set his jaw and frowned mildly at her. She was constantly flitting about, asking him about this and that. He definitely didn't dislike her in any way-she was his partner after all-but sometimes she was far too personal for Lassiter's preference.
"Maybe it's because you're standing here talking to me." He knew he was being a little unfair by speaking to her in such a harsh tone. Juliet hadn't purposefully done anything to annoy him, and she didn't deserve to be snapped at. But Juliet didn't seem hurt by it; she was used to Lassiter's unfriendly demeanor by now.
"Sorry, just making sure you didn't need to talk," she responded, at last moving on to her desk. Lassiter sighed and went back to aimlessly staring at the things on his own desk. He clicked his pen a couple times, sighed again, and tapped his foot, unable to focus on anything.
"O'Hara," he said suddenly. Juliet raised her head in response to hearing her name and smiled warmly at Lassiter.
"Yes?" she replied. Lassiter stood up from his desk and motioned for her to follow him. She complied and trailed diligently behind Lassiter as he led her away from the busy main area of the police station. He took a deep breath, not entirely able to come to terms with the fact that he was about to pour his heart out, however vaguely, to his partner.
"I need to, uh, ask for your help with something," Lassiter began, already feeling a bit awkward.
"What is it?" Juliet asked. She looked incredibly interested, which was understandable. Lassiter never asked for help with anything. "You can tell me anything."
"Let's just assume, hypothetically, that there's someone I've...taken a liking to, and-"
Juliet's face suddenly broke into a grin, and she clasped her hands together. "Oh, that's wonderful! Who is it?"
Lassiter stopped talking and scowled at her. He cleared his throat authoritatively. Juliet quickly forced the grin from her face and nodded for him to continue.
"And it's interfering with my work. I just wanted to ask you what you think I should do," he finished. He was already starting to regret having this conversation.
"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Juliet responded. Now Lassiter was definitely regretting this conversation.
"Excuse me? Are you suggesting something?" Lassiter scowled at her and crossed his arms. She was clearly trying very hard to keep a straight face, but she couldn't hide the glint of amusement in her eyes.
"No, of course not. I just misspoke," Juliet replied, though it was quite obvious she had said what she had meant. "So, why don't you just tell her how you feel?" This time, Juliet put a bit too much emphasis on 'her,' and Lassiter almost felt as if she was making fun of him.
"It's not that simple, O'Hara," Lassiter insisted. "This is a delicate issue, and it's really sort of embarrassing on my part. This person we are talking about here is, frankly, extremely infuriating, and I would prefer if I wasn't attracted to them at all."
Juliet was smiling again. It was a sort of sly, knowing smile, and it was making Lassiter a bit uncomfortable. It was almost like she knew exactly who he was talking about. Crap.
"It's Shawn, isn't it?" she asked. Lassiter opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, attempting to string together a feasible thought. Juliet was a good detective, so it really wasn't any wonder she had figured it out so easily, but it was still a little unnerving. He had been hoping to keep this relatively ambiguous. So much for that idea.
"No," he protested lamely. "No, of course not. That's ridiculous! I mean, come on! He's an idiot." That did nothing, however, to waver Juliet's smile. Lassiter knew she was seeing right through him, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"Yes, so that's why you keep that note in your desk," she giggled, obviously amused.
"How did you know about that?" Lassiter snapped. Juliet's expression fell just a bit as she apparently realized Lassiter was less than pleased with her.
"About a month ago, I found it in your drawer while I was looking for the sticky notes after mine ran out," Juliet explained. Lassiter clenched his jaw in annoyance, not at all appreciating the fact that Juliet evidently thought anything in his desk was free game.
"So? I just forgot to throw it away," Lassiter replied tensely.
"Shawn wrote that years ago, Carlton," Juliet pointed out. "Plus, I've seen how you look at him. You act like you hate him, but I can tell you really don't. Whenever you think he's not looking, I've even seen you smiling about one of his stupid jokes before."
Lassiter just gaped at her for a moment. Was it really that obvious? If Juliet had noticed it, then surely Shawn had. This was bad. Very bad. And there was no use arguing anymore.
"All right, fine. You got me. But if you tell anyone, I swear to God I will shoot you in the knee," Lassiter hissed, scowling darkly at Juliet. Her smile grew into a beaming grin, and she looked just about ready to explode. She bounced a couple of times and giggled.
"That's so adorable," she chimed. Lassiter was not amused.
"No, it isn't. I'm done having this conversation." Lassiter promptly turned and began storming back to his desk. Luckily, Juliet chose not to follow him. He sat down in his chair, rested his head in his hand, and began intensely glaring at the file on his desk. His talk with Juliet hadn't been productive at all, and he was even more distracted now than he had been before. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone approaching and stopping all too close to his desk.
"What now?" Lassiter barked. He lifted his head in order for his scowl to be more effective on its intended target. This was just perfect. "Spencer, what are you doing here?" Lassiter noticed the obvious lack of Gus and briefly wondered why Shawn was here alone.
"Lovely to see you, too, Lassie," Shawn replied in his usual chipper tone. He held a styrofoam cup in one hand, and from the brightly colored smears on the inside of the straw, Lassiter gathered that the cup contained a smoothie of some sort.
"I'll ask again, why are you here? And why are you alone?" Lassiter closed the file and pushed it to the side, completely giving up on getting anything done by this point.
"Gus had work, and I was bored, so I thought I'd come pay my favorite head detective a visit," Shawn answered, taking a long, noisy drink of his smoothie.
"I'm the only head detective at this department," Lassiter answered, his voice deadpan.
"And that's why you're my favorite!" Shawn chirped.
"Don't you have someone else to bother?" Lassiter picked up his pen and began clicking it open and closed. Shawn took another drink of his smoothie, sucking on the straw regardless of the fact that the cup was practically empty. It resulted in an incredibly loud, nerve-grating noise. Lassiter snatched the cup out of Shawn's hand, pulling out the straw, which still sat firmly between Shawn's lips.
"If you wanted some, you should've told me before I drank it all," Shawn remarked. Lassiter frowned and threw the empty cup away. "What do you want, Spencer?"
"Well, I actually came here to ask if you wanted to go get smoothies, but I sort of got one by myself," Shawn explained. He almost looked a little shy, which was incredibly unusual for him. He glanced over at Juliet, who was quite obviously listening in on the whole thing. She just smiled and waved when she realized Lassiter had noticed her eavesdropping.
"Okay, so why are you still here?" Lassiter set his pen down and gazed impassively at Shawn, waiting for an answer. He was still only slightly interested by this point.
"Because on the way here, after I stopped for smoothies, I thought, 'I bet Lassie doesn't want a smoothie, anyway. He seems like more of a coffee guy.' So then, I figured I'd come see if you would go get coffee with me, even though coffee isn't really my thing, but if it's your thing, I can work with that," Shawn rambled. He was rocking back and forth, shifting his weight from his heels to his toes and back again.
"Shawn, I'm working," Lassiter replied after a short moment of silence.
"Oh. Yeah, I can totally see that. I mean, you were just sort of sitting there, angrily reading a file, and now you're doing nothing, but I can see you're obviously very busy," Shawn said, his gaze drifting to a random spot on Lassiter's desk.
"Good. Now goodbye." Lassiter made a shooing motion with his hand. Shawn looked a little disappointed, but he walked away without another word. Barely a second after Shawn left, Juliet was standing at Lassiter's desk, arms crossed and a disapproving expression on her face.
"What?" Lassiter asked.
"You just got done telling me how you like Shawn, and now he tries to take you on a date, and you say no? I want you to go find him and tell him you'll go. It's almost your lunch break, anyway," Juliet said. A date? Lassiter just stared blankly at her for a couple seconds.
"What? He was not asking me on a date," Lassiter responded sharply.
"Yes he was, Carlton. Trust me. And he really likes you, too. Didn't you see how nervous he was?" Juliet persisted. Her gaze was drilling holes in Lassiter, and he was fairly certain he wasn't going to get out of this one. He still wasn't sure about Shawn's intentions, but he might as well just get this over with.
"Fine, whatever. But don't blame me if I end up throwing him out of my car," Lassiter snapped, aggressively scooting his chair back and hurrying after Shawn. He skillfully ignored Juliet's triumphant grin.
"Have fun!" she called after him. He chose not to respond to that.
"Spencer," he called after Shawn, who was aimlessly wandering towards the general direction of the front doors of the station. Shawn visibly cheered up and spun around, beaming.
"Yes, Lassie?" he replied. Lassiter sighed. He couldn't believe he was agreeing to this.
"I guess I actually could go for a coffee," Lassiter said, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Shawn began bouncing on the balls of his feet, and Lassiter thought he would soon go blind from Shawn's bright smile. He grabbed Lassiter by the wrist and practically skipped towards the exit, tugging Lassiter along behind him. Lassiter shot a scowl over his shoulder at Juliet, who just waved at him as he was pulled out of the station. He soon found himself in his car with Shawn in the passenger seat beside him, still glowing with the exuberance that seemed to be a permanent part of his demeanor. Even after years of knowing him, Lassiter had no idea how Shawn managed to stay so happy all the time. The closest coffee shop was only about a five minute drive, and they were there before Lassiter had enough time to change his mind about the whole thing.
"I'm glad you came with me, Lassie," Shawn commented as they pulled into the parking lot. "I was super nervous you'd say no, and then you did, and it was kind of disappointing, but it's all okay now." He was rambling again, and Lassiter was starting to think Juliet had been right. Maybe Shawn did think this was a date.
"Yeah, let's just get this over with," Lassiter said, unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding out of the car. Shawn scampered after him, following him into the small coffee shop. A moment later, Lassiter was sitting in a booth near the back of the restaurant, waiting for his coffee to cool as Shawn finished up his order. Part of him regretted even coming along. He was starting to consider making up a lame excuse and leaving then and there, but he just couldn't. He liked Shawn, no matter how many times he told himself he didn't. Before his thoughts could fester any further, Shawn was sliding into the booth across from him, holding a hot cocoa in one hand and a large, sticky cinnamon bun on a napkin in the other.
"Are you sure you want to eat all that right after you had that entire smoothie? That's an awful lot of sugar. You'll get sick," Lassiter remarked.
"You underestimate me," Shawn replied, punctuating his sentence by taking a generous bite of the cinnamon bun. Lassiter just shook his head.
"Fine, just don't throw up in my car." He took a tentative sip of his coffee, grateful that it didn't burn his mouth.
"You worry too much, Lassieface," Shawn said around a mouthful of pastry. Lassiter didn't answer him, choosing instead to continue drinking his coffee. With nothing else to do, Shawn quickly finished most of his food and leaned back in the booth, staring blankly at a spot on the wall.
"So, uh...Shawn, can I ask you something?" Lassiter said, breaking the almost uncomfortable silence.
"Mhm," Shawn answered. He finally swallowed the last bite of his cinnamon bun, then washed it down with some cocoa. "Yeah, anything. I'll try to be honest."
"O'Hara seems to be under the impression that this is a date," Lassiter said, lightly tracing the rim of his coffee cup with his index finger. "Is it?"
At first, Shawn said nothing. His expression was unreadable, and for a brief moment, Lassiter worried that he might've upset him.
"Do you want it to be?" When Shawn finally spoke, his voice was softer and more sincere than Lassiter had ever heard it be before. Until now, he had been entirely convinced that Shawn was completely incapable of being even remotely serious.
"I asked you a question first," Lassiter replied, mostly because he wasn't at all sure what he wanted.
"I...yeah, I kinda thought it was," Shawn said. He was refusing to make eye contact, and his timid expression-as much as Lassiter hated to admit it-made him look rather adorable. Lassiter wasn't sure how to respond. Part of him was flattered, and dare he say it, excited. But his more rational side wanted to tell Shawn no, this was most certainly not a date.
"Oh," was all he said for a while. His brain was working a mile a minute, trying to process what was happening. He was on a date with Shawn Spencer. No, not a date. Shawn thought it was, but it totally wasn't. Nope.
"Can it be a date? Because I actually kind of like you," Shawn asked. He stared at Lassiter with eyes full of a sort of childish anticipation. That, paired with the spot of sticky cinnamon on Shawn's cheek made him look like he was about six, and Lassiter couldn't stop himself from smiling.
"You do?" he finally replied. He was almost scared of Shawn's answer, though he wasn't sure why.
"Yeah. I mean sure, you're kinda tall and scary and mean, but that's okay, because underneath all the grumpy, you're sort of cute. And I wasn't kidding when I told you people would want to do cannonballs into your eyes," Shawn said, nervously fiddling with the corner of his napkin. Lassiter felt a blush color his cheeks. He never blushed.
"You really think that? You're not being stupid just to see how I'll react, are you?" Lassiter's eyebrows came together in a light frown.
"What? No way, Lassie. When I'm being stupid, you'll know it. I don't have to put this much effort into being stupid," Shawn replied, a playful grin teasing at the corners of his mouth. "So, can it be a date? Please?"
Lassiter sighed. Shawn's pleading, anticipated stare was boring into him. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say yes. He should say no, but he couldn't.
"Yes, Shawn, it can be a date," he answered at last. He wasn't at all sure how to feel about what he had just agreed to, and he had no idea what this made them now. Lassiter really did like Shawn, and it was obvious his feelings were returned, but he didn't want to like Shawn. It would have been so much easier to continue to be reluctant coworkers, constantly bantering with each other and getting on each other's nerves. Easier, but maybe not better. Lassiter knew he couldn't keep living in denial, and eventually, it would get the best of him. And maybe Shawn was just what he needed to lighten up a little and stop feeling so lonely. He figured it was worth a shot. What was said had been said, and he couldn't take it back, anyway.
"Great. Because if you had said no, I totally would've referred to it as a date from this point onward regardless of what you thought, so this really just simplifies things," Shawn said, his face lighting up in a grin.
"You have something on your face," Lassiter pointed out. He was having a bit of difficulty taking Shawn seriously, but he knew that even after Shawn wiped the food off his face, it wouldn't make much of a difference.
"I do?" Shawn wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. It was largely ineffective.
"Right there," Lassiter said, pointing to a spot on his own cheek. Shawn rubbed his hands over most of his entire face for good measure.
"I think you got it," Lassiter remarked, a lopsided smile tugging at his mouth.
"This has been a bonkers amount of fun, but I guess you have to go back to work now, Lassie," Shawn sighed. He wadded up his napkin and stuffed it into his empty cup.
"Yeah, I do. O'Hara will be texting me any minute now, asking me a thousand questions." Lassiter slid out of the booth and waited for Shawn to follow. "Are you coming, or are you planning on sitting there forever?"
"Just give me a minute. You were right, Lassie, I really don't feel that hot now," Shawn said, letting his head fall back against the booth.
"Come on, I don't have all day," Lassiter urged impatiently. Eventually, Shawn dragged himself out of his side of the booth and stood up. Shawn matched his strides with Lassiter's as they made for the exit, and Lassiter smiled as he felt Shawn brush his hand against his own. He took Shawn's hand and laced their fingers together, still not fully able to comprehend the situation he had gotten himself into. Just that morning, he had been stressing over his unwanted feelings for Shawn, and now here he was, finishing up an unexpected date and holding hands like he was in some corny chick flick. It seemed too convenient. Of course.
"O'Hara told you to ask me to come here with you, didn't she?" Lassiter questioned as he pushed the door to the coffee shop open and exited out into the parking lot.
"There is a slight possibility. But only cause she thought I would never ask otherwise, which I totally would've," Shawn answered. He smiled up at Lassiter, then released his hand in order to get into the car.
"You know, Spencer, this was actually kind of nice. I'm glad O'Hara made you ask me, because I sure as hell would've never asked you to do anything with me," Lassiter commented once they had both gotten seated in the car.
"I'm not sure whether to be offended or flattered. You need to work on your people skills, Lassie." Shawn leaned back in his seat and put his feet up on the dashboard, draping one arm over his stomach and stretching the other one out to pat Lassiter on the knee. The drive back to the station was fortunately quick and uneventful. Lassiter shut off the car engine and began to get out, but Shawn's hand on his shoulder stopped him.
"That was fun. Let's do it again sometime," Shawn said. And then he did something not entirely unexpected, but still rather shocking. He leaned in quickly, and before Lassiter had a chance to react, Shawn's mouth was on his, warm and soft and not completely terrible. All too soon, he pulled away and left Lassiter feeling rather caught off-guard by the sudden intrusion of his personal space.
"Uh, yeah, I'd like that," Lassiter answered. He wasn't sure if he was talking about the date or the kiss, but he wouldn't mind a repeat of either. Shawn beamed, looking genuinely ecstatic about Lassiter's response. He swiftly pressed his lips against Lassiter's cheek in a chaste kiss, then got out of the car and bounded up the steps and into the station. Lassiter remained in the car for a while longer, lightly brushing his fingers over the spot where Shawn's lips had been only seconds before. He had no idea what he had gotten himself into, but at the moment, none of that mattered.
"Idiot," Lassiter muttered under his breath. He didn't really know if that was aimed at himself for getting into this mess, or at Shawn for causing it in the first place. All he knew was that none of this would be making his work any easier, and if anything, it would be harder to concentrate than ever. Eventually, he got out of the car and headed back inside to his desk, ignoring the too-cheerful grin and thumbs-up that Juliet gave him on his way in. No doubt Shawn had come in and instantly started bragging to her.
Sitting down at his desk, Lassiter opened the still unfinished case file and tried to focus. It seemed that as soon as he was able to set his mind to it, his thoughts wondered elsewhere. To Shawn, his annoyingly adorable smile, his messy hair, the kiss in the car. Sighing, he pulled his desk drawer open in search of a paper clip, and saw that familiar square of yellow paper sticking out from under the package of pens. He pulled out out, unfolded it, and smiled at the words scrawled across it. This time, though, he didn't hurriedly stuff it back into the drawer, hoping no one had seen. No, this time, he flattened out the creases and propped it up against his pencil cup. He ignored Juliet's beaming grin from where she sat at her desk. He didn't even protest that much when Shawn stopped by later to tease him about it. He just brushed off the clever remarks and got back to work, although he never did finish that case file.