Conversations with the Sorting Hat [Setting: Dumbledore's Office]

Hat: DUMBLY! DUMBLY! THE SNAPE IS HERE!

Snape: ...

Dumbledore: *Comes out from the back* Hello, Professor Snape!

Hat: Dumbly, Gryffinslythhuff Slythhuff-Snape ravengryff? [Translation: Dumbledore, why is Slimy-Snape in here?]

Dumbledore: Hufflegryffin, slythravenle rav ravenslyther gryffinravendor! [I don't know, maybe he finally wants that shampoo I offered!]

Hat: Gryffin, gryffin, gryffin, gryffin... [*chuckle*]

Snape: .....

Dumbledore: .....

Hat: .....

Snape: *walks out*

Dumbledore: *puts on elevator music*

Hat: :D! *tries to shimmy*

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Conversations with the Sorting Hat [Setting: Dumbledore's Office]

Dumbledore: *claps* Minerva! Minerva! Come in here!

McGonagall: *walks in* Yes, what is it, Albus?

Dumbledore: *nods to the Sorting Hat*

Hat: *ahem* My name is... Sorting Hat, I'll put choo in yo' houses, I put you were outta be, I'm always right, you'll see! I can dance a little bit if I'm really tryin', I dance with Dumbly, he's old! I think he's dyin'! Yo, you'll go in Gryffin, Raven, Slytherin o' Huffin! If you say I'm wrong I'll just say that yo' bluffin'! Check, check it, yeah. 'Cause I am the Sorting Hat, Make the oldies wanna clap and the first years wanna cry! 'Cause I am the Sorting Hat, Make the oldies wanna clap and the first years wanna cry! Sorting Hat! Number one in the hood, G.

McGonagall: ...I have a class to teach. *walks out*

Dumbledore: ...*puts on elevator music again*

Hat: *shimmies off the table*

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Conversations with the Sorting Hat [Setting: Dumbledore's Office]

Hat: *sings* I'm the Sorting Hat...I'm not fat...I like to sing...DUMBLY! What do I say after---

Dumbledore: Silencio!

Hat: .

Dumbledore: .

Hat: *shimmies off the table*

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Conversations with the Sorting Hat [Setting: Dumbledore's Office, Dumbledore is out]

Hat: .*sitting alone in the dark*

Harry: Psst! Hat!

Hat: Huh? Whozere?

Harry: Hat, do you want a biscuit?

Hat: Yes, I like biscuits! Dumbly gives me biscuits! HUFFLEPUFF!

Harry: Hufflepuff?

Hat: SLYTHERIN!

Harry: Nooo...

Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Harry: Good hat. *throws the biscuit in the Sorting Hat's mouth, and watches it fall through and hit the ground*

Hat: Mm...I like biscuits. *shimmies off the table*

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