Destiny

I'm surrounded by a plethora of black. Tear after tear is running down my face. I can't believe she's actually gone. April is gone. I watch as my sister is buried. Never to be seen again. I don't know how I am supposed to live without my big sister. She was the one who always took care of me. She was the one who tried to protect me at all cost. I start sobbing, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. My Mom whispers to me, "Everything is going to be ok." I don't know how she can say that. April is gone and never coming back. There is nothing ok about that.

After the service, I look over at Dominic and can see the pain in his eyes. He was with April till the very end. After April had accepted her fate, Dominic was there to support her.

He catches me looking at him.

Dominic walks over and says, "I'm so sorry, Brenna."

I know he means it. I tell him, "I just can't believe she is actually gone. I wish there was a part of her still here with us. I know everyone says she will always be in our hearts, but I want a physical piece of her with me."

"I know. April always wanted a child. There was just never a time when she was ready and cancer free." Dominic says as he wipes a tear from his eye.

I tell him, "She held on for so long. The doctors didn't even think she would last a year after her treatment ended. Italy must have done wonders in her life because she lasted three years. April was a walking miracle. She always wanted a child. She even had her eggs frozen, but never pursued them." And then I remember, "Wait! What if I take one of April's eggs and have her baby. There will still be a part of her with us. You could be the father. You were one of April's closest friends and you have that big house all to yourself. Don't you want to fill it with a family?"

I can see Dominic thinking when he says, "I always did want to have a family with April. Before she died, it felt like we were starting to rekindle a new flame. April just never wanted anything serious after Leo died, and under the circumstances the timing wasn't that great. After she found out her treatment stopped working, I decided just to be there for her as a friend. How would you expect having April's baby to pan out?"

"The baby will be April's. She is biologically the mother. You will be the father biologically and physically. I will be her Aunt Brenna. Whenever she will need a mother figure, my Mom or I can step in. We will tell this baby great stories of its mother and what a great women she was. We will keep April's memory alive through her."

Dominic says, "This isn't just our decision. I think we need to discuss this with your entire family and I need some time to think this over."

Dominic and I arrive at the house after the funeral. I am dreading going in and seeing the house filled with people who have pity written all over their eyes. They will want to tell me how sorry they are and what a great person April was. This is the last thing I want to deal with, but dealing with people is how my Mom is dealing with all of this. I will have to suck it up and go in.

After I walk through the door, I see my mother sitting in the living room next to my Uncle George. They have been through so much these past three years. My Uncle George went to jail for a year because he covered up my father's suicide. After he was released, my Mom and Uncle George started dating. It wasn't long before they were engaged.

I head towards them. Dominic starts to walk with me when I tell him, "This is something I need to do on my own."

"Alright if that is what you want." Dominic says, as he starts to walk to the other room.

I approach my Mom and uncle George, "I need to talk to the two of you."

My Mom looks concerned, and says, "Okay honey, what's wrong?"

"We should go somewhere in private."

We leave the crowded room and walk into the kitchen.

My Mom looks at me and says, "Brenna, you're starting to worry us."

Then I just blurt it out, "I want to be inseminated with one of April's eggs. I want to have her baby. I miss her so much and want a physical piece of her with us. What is more physical than her baby?"

My Mom has a disapproving look on her face when she says, "I don't think that is such a good idea, Brenna. We are all in mourning of April's death and should just take some time to think about all of this."

My Uncle Gorge pipes in, "I agree with your mother. Step back and take some time to think about this."

My eyes fill up with tears and I yell back, "No, I want to do this! I want to do this now!"

"Brenna, who would the father even be? Just a random person we have never met before?" Uncle George says, trying to be the rational one in the room.

"No, Dominick agreed to be the father. The baby would live with him in his new house." I manage to sputter out.

My Mom's psychiatric side starts to show when she says, "I don't know if that is such a good idea. A baby growing up with only the idea of a mother, and not ever actually having one could cause problems."

I tell my Mom and Uncle George, "This baby would have an entire family to love and care for it. April wanted a baby, and even though she is gone doesn't mean it can't happen." Why can't they see where I am coming from? Why can't they see this is a good idea?

"We all want a physical part of April here with us, but a baby is a big commitment. Is this something you are really willing to do? It is not something you can just start and then change your mind on." My Mom says. I can tell she is starting to come along.

"I want to do this," I yell.

My Mom is silent for a while before she sighs and says, "Then we will support you."

I am filled with joy when I jump straight into my mom's arms and hug her. I tell my Mom, "Thank you so much."

Then my Uncle George gets in on the excitement and hugs us both.

Later that night, I call Dominic to tell him the good news.

Dominic answers, "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Brenna. My Mom and Uncle George are on board. Now it is up to you to make the final decision."

The phone is silent for a while before Dominic responds, "I've thought about it too, and I'm in. I am ready to be a father. I want to have April's baby."