Unexpected Visitor by Luvscharlie
Warnings: Adult language, infidelity
A/N: Originally written for hp_humpdrabbles on Live Journal where the prompt was "Charlie Weasley" and there was a maximum word count of 500 and there was a minimum rating of PG-13.
"Oh. My. God. I hate you!" Tonks shrieked.
"I hate you more!" Charlie threw out the only comeback he could think of. It was hard to be mature and think fast when standing there naked as the day he was born, woken from sleep by an irate girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend? He wasn't sure at the moment.
"You're not allowed to hate me." Her hair turned fiery red and Charlie took a step back for safety's sake.
"Says who?"
"Says me!" She pointed hard at her chest. "I'm the wronged one here. I'm the one who gets to do all the hating and hitting and—ARGH!" She clenched her fists and shouted.
That hitting part had made Charlie measure his distance to the cabin door and how many steps it would take him to disappear, given that his wand was across the room, and that he'd have to pass Tonks to get it.
"You should have told me you were coming," he fired back at her, hedging toward the door. "I could have done something about it if I'd known you were coming."
"You have some other bird's name tattooed on your bum, you piece of shit!" Tonks shouted.
"Oh, is that what you're on about?"
She crossed her arms over her heaving chest and Charlie couldn't help but appreciate the way her tits bounced. His cock hardened in response. She noticed.
"You're ridiculous. Thatturns you on? The fact that I'm about to castrate you makes you horny?" She took an ominous step forward and at the word 'castrate' Charlie's cock withered.
"It was just a dare and I was pissed when I took it. Keep your tits on! It's not a real girl. It's my dragon's name!" Thank Merlin, Tonks wasn't here because she knew about his little romp in the dragon pen with Mary Sue Styles, whose name happened to now be on the right cheek of his bum. Little Charlie wouldn't have faired well if Tonks'd known about that. "I was going to get it removed before you got here."
"And you think that makes it better?" Tonks closed the distance between them, and before Charlie could gather his wits, he was pinned against the back wall with a seriously angry Auror-in-training's knee inches from his boy bits.
"Apparently not." He gulped.
She shoved hard against his chest, dug in her nails and then kissed him full on the mouth, bringing up her knee to wedge between his thighs. Tonks pulled her wand from her pocket and before Charlie knew what was happening, she was starkers before him.
"So, Weasley, are you going to fuck me?"
"What? I mean, yeah. I mean, what?"
"Well, I figure you're going to want to use that prick once more before we discuss you, Mary Sue Styles and a dragon pen." She raised an eyebrow, her look ominous.
"Oh shit." Charlie cupped his sack and ran for his wand.