Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its character. I do not own the Gym Class Heroes song in the story.
Warnings: Suicide
The idea for this story came out of nowhere. I was listening to the song and I loved the first verse of the song for Eli right now. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if the second verse comes true too. Thanks to the lovely summersetlights for beta-ing this for me late last night.
I see a window and all I can think about is
So do you wanna fly with me?
Do you wanna fly with me?
I know it sounds crazy,
But I can't find solid ground
So do you wanna fly with me?
Do you wanna fly with me?
Live Forever [Fly With Me] – Gym Class Heroes
Elijah Goldsworthy wants to fly.
He finally cleaned his room enough that he can sit on the ledge under his window. He sits with his legs pulled up to his chest and stares out the window for hours. He imagines flying out of his window…but not like Peter Pan. Eli doesn't want to fly up.
He wants to fly down, down, down.
Eli peers down at the ground from his window. His room is pretty high up for a two story house.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to imagine what flying would feel like.
Eli came home from school and sat still all afternoon. He watched some kids play across the street, running around wildly under the sun. He saw a hearse drive by and his heart yearned for Morty, who was now in a junkyard somewhere.
Day turned into night and he didn't move an inch. He watched the sun go down and the moon float up, shining in all its white glory. Eli stayed up all night, staring out his window, wishing he could fly.
The alarm rings loudly from his nightstand, supposedly waking him up. But Eli hasn't slept more than a few hours in days. He shuts it off and begins to get ready for school.
He showers and changes for school quickly because he has to walk to it.
His cast is off and it feels great to be able to move quickly once again. Eli speeds down the stairs, jumping from the third step and enjoying the millisecond in which he is aerial. He is flying, however small the moment may be.
He runs into the kitchen and grabs a piece of toast and a bottle of water. Cece kisses his forehead like she has every morning since the accident. Eli feels bad for putting her through this. He hugs her tightly and says goodbye. Cece offers him a ride which Eli quickly declines.
He checked the weather. Today was supposed to be very windy despite the spring weather. Eli grabs his Degrassi sweater from the hook and slings his book bag over his shoulder.
He steps outside his door and is greeted with a chilly breeze. It picks up as Eli walks to school. The wind is so fast now that it slaps his face and makes his hair sway with it.
Eli smiles and starts running as fast as he can. His leg begs him to stop because it hurts.
But it's windy and if Eli runs fast enough with his eyes closed then he can imagine he is flying. He's laughing softly, a smile on his face. This is the most he's felt in weeks.
The wind stops suddenly and Eli opens his eyes. He stops running, his leg is throbbing but he ignores it. He's across the street from the school. No wonder the wind dropped. Imagination time was over.
Eli walks up the steps slowly, the pain in his leg becoming more bothersome. He walks through the metal detectors and to his locker quickly. He twists in the combination and throws open the thin, metal door. He grabs the small, orange bottle from the top shelf.
Eli uncaps it quickly and plucks out one of the tiny white pills. He thinks it's ironic how such a tiny object can have such a big effect on him. Eli swallows the pill down with water from the bottle he grabbed at home. He places the pill bottle back on the shelf.
It was time to fly…mentally anyway.
He shuts his locker softly and fixes his hair, remembering that it is probably all disheveled from running in the wind. His leg is throbbing but Eli refuses to take anything for it. After taking the anti-anxiety pill, the throbbing in his leg is the only thing Eli can feel.
It's funny how in just a matter of minutes, Eli can feel the medication kicking in. Any thoughts he had, sad, happy or mad, just sort of slip away.
Adam runs toward him with a huge smile on his face.
Eli wishes he could feel like Adam. Hell, he wishes he could feel half as much as Adam does.
"She said yes!" Adam says once he reaches Eli.
The smile on his face is so wide and innocent that Eli looks away, unable to handle his friend's emotions.
"That's great Adam," Eli says and he kind of wishes that he didn't sound so indifferent. He really is happy for Adam. The kid's been pining after Katie for weeks.
Adam composes himself, taking a deep breath. "How are you?" He asks.
Eli wants to roll his eyes. For the last month, that has been the first question Adam asks him every morning.
"I'm great," Eli replies as usual.
Adam's chest deflates and if Eli could feel…he'd be guilty. He wishes he didn't burden Adam with his issues.
They walk through the hallways in silence. Eli doesn't try to make conversation. Gone are the days of small talk. He doesn't talk unless he's got something to say or he's directly being asked a question. Eli doesn't want to force anything out. He'd rather be silent than sound like he's uninterested.
Katie is at her usual space behind the Degrassi Daily table on this Monday morning She is handing out newspapers to people as they walk by. She beckons them over.
"Hello, Adam," Katie greets sweetly.
Adam tries hard not to blush and Eli wants to tease his friend.
"Hi, Katie," Adam replies nervously.
"Hey, Eli," Katie greets him. Eli completely approves of her for Adam. Not that he needs Eli's approval. Katie is headstrong and very sure of herself. A perfect fit for Adam, who still half hides some days.
"Hey, Katie," Eli replies and sticks out his hand. Katie happily hands him a newspaper.
"The article on your play is on page seven," she informs him. "I hope we did you justice. It's creating a buzz that is sure to bring in more people on show night."
Eli looks up at her with a small smirk on his face, "I'll have you to thank then. See you guys later."
He walks away, giving them a few minutes alone before the bell rings.
Eli's leg is still hurting as he walks into Biology. Mr. Betenkamp is typing away on his laptop at his desk.
He jumps onto one of the stools at his lab table. Eli pulls out his tattered notebook and scribbles down his thoughts at the moment.
I want the wind to carry me away like a crisp brown leaf in autumn.
They walk in, hand in hand.
She's giggling like a little girl as he whispers something into her ear. They slide into their assigned table, coincidentally in front of his, and continue their ministrations.
These are the moments Eli is grateful for his meds. He watches them through his overgrown bangs but doesn't give off anything. There is something…a dull ache deep in his heart but thankfully the medication keeps it from developing.
It has been one month since the accident. One month since he lost Clare. One month of her clinging to Jake's stability.
After Clare's outburst at Above the Dot and her apology the next day, she mostly kept her distance. For that, Eli was also grateful. It was easier for him to stick to his path of nothingness.
The medication has kicked in completely and he is flying. There are no emotions keeping him attached to anything and Eli is able to fly away in his head.
He barely registers the moment Imogen walks into the room. She skips to their table, her pigtails bouncing with every step. She's unafraid. Unafraid of people's opinions of her, unafraid of the commotion she causes and unafraid of Eli.
"Good morning, Eli," Imogen says and pulls herself onto the stool next to his. "What are you writing?"
Eli quickly closes his notebook and shoves it in his book bag. "Nothing important, just some empty thoughts."
Jake has walked away from his and Clare's table to talk to Drew and Bianca, who sit all the way in the front. Eli notices that Clare's spine stiffened when Imogen asked him about his writings. Her body is turned just slightly, but enough where she can see them out of the corner of her eye. She was listening.
"Oh, Eli," Imogen giggles and by the way she leans into him, Eli knows that she noticed Clare's body language as well. "Anything you write has to be important. Everything you write is amazing."
Eli gives her an indifferent look, "Thanks, Imogen."
Imogen sighs in defeat and retreats back her side of the table. Eli knows she won't give up, though. She hasn't given up all month. No matter how many times Eli has turned her down her subtle advances.
They both notice that Clare also sighs in relief. She turns back completely in her seat. Imogen did like Eli, but she also liked to rile up Clare. Imogen loved an audience.
"We have our first dress rehearsal tonight!" Imogen squeals, tightening one of her pigtails. "Are you excited? I'm so excited."
"I'm great," Eli deadpans.
Mr. Betenkamp starts class then and Eli cherishes the fifty minutes of lecture that Imogen surprisingly doesn't ever try to talk to him through. For someone who is always keen on getting a conversation with Eli, once the teachers start class, her attention is solely on her work,
The class ends and Eli walks out of the class quickly, but not fast enough. Imogen steps in front of him with a knowing smile on her face. "See you and Adam at lunch?"
Eli nods, and walks past her. He half considers going to the library, but Imogen would probably just find him there too.
He is thankful that she is not in any of his other morning classes. In fact, with the new schedules given after spring break, Eli has almost no classes with people he really knows. He spends this class time doodling in the spirals of his notebooks or jotting down little notes.
The lunch bell interrupts his thoughts and Eli closes his notebook once again. He walks to the cafeteria and scans the room for his friends. His eyes pass over Clare and Jake, who are now sitting with Dave, Alli, Bianca, and Drew. He notices that she is looking at him with a look of sadness.
Save your pity Edwards, Eli thought, I can't do anything with it.
Imogen walks by and loops her arm through his, pulling him towards the back table where Katie and Adam are already situated. Fiona is also at their table, with a glossy, new magazine laid out in front of her. She's been avoiding her friends since she found out she wasn't graduating. Fiona's stay in rehab really messed up her year.
Adam raises an eyebrow at his and Imogen's proximity. Eli gives him a subtle eye roll, letting him know that this wasn't his doing. Katie stares at Imogen like she's watching a walking abstract painting. Eli wants to laugh. Neither she nor Adam are the biggest Imogen fans. But Eli doesn't have the heart to push her away completely.
Besides, he has to get along with the leading lady of his play.
Fiona greets Imogen happily, a fan of her eccentricity. Adam and Katie greet her politely.
Eli pulls out his notebook and scribbles words onto the corner of a page.
I wish I could fly into oblivion, where all around there is nothing but the air I can feel.
He can feel someone's eyes on him and knows it is Imogen. She is always trying to get a look at the words he's writing. Eli sits up and shoves the black composition notebook back in his book bag.
He notices that Imogen is smiling triumphantly and Eli knows that she saw what he was writing.
Eli doesn't have the energy to tell her to back off once and for all.
Adam rolls his eyes at Imogen. He wants to tell her to go away and leave Eli alone. Katie leans her head on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. Adam's fists are gripping the sides of the table so hard that his knuckles turn white.
Adam despises Imogen and the way she continues to try to creep into Eli's mind.
Fiona and Imogen are talking animatedly about finalizing the play's wardrobe.
A tiny fly buzzes around them. Eli tries not to get too captivated by it. He envies the tiny, insignificant bug and what it can do. He wishes he could fly around like it.
The fly lands on their table and all five of them stare at it. Fiona takes a napkin and squishes it before disposing of the napkin in the trash can behind her.
"Bugs are gross," she says simply.
"I wish I could fly like one," Imogen states thoughtfully.
Adam and Eli turn to each other and share a disbelieving look. Adam knows Eli's newfound obsession with flying. They know that Imogen only brought up flying because Eli likes it.
"Not all bugs fly Imogen," Katie says rudely, "some bugs are intrusive and annoying. Take ants for example, they arrive at a place where they aren't wanted and attack."
Eli bites at his lip so as to not snort.
Adam lets out a dark laugh and squeezes Katie's hand. Imogen caught onto the parallel as soon as Katie said it. She raised an eyebrow and quickly spat a comeback of her own.
"And some bugs are pretty to look at. Ladybugs, for example, are very cute but a bite from one leaves an ugly scar. They're painful and sometimes poisonous. They're deceiving little creatures," Imogen smirks at Katie and gives her a knowing look.
Eli looks back and forth between the two. Katie looks down at her tray of food and turns a deep red. She doesn't answer and that surprises Eli. Katie never backs down.
The smug smile decorating Imogen's face and the evil sparkle in her eye worry Eli. It's like she knew something about Katie.
Knowing Imogen, she probably does have something on Katie. Imogen has dirt on everyone. Eli doesn't know how she gets information. Funnily enough though, no one has anything on Imogen. The girl is almost a complete mystery. The only things people know about her are what she tells them.
Adam didn't pay attention to exchange. He zoned out when Imogen started talking. He's trained himself to tune out when Imogen starts talking.
Eli turns to see what Adam is staring at across the cafeteria.
He really, really wishes he hadn't.
Clare is all but on Jake's lap, making out in front of everyone as if there were no tomorrow. Her fingers are pulling at the ends of his hair and his hands are rubbing her hips softly.
Eli closes his eyes and pretends he's flying away. He can't walk out though, as much as he wants to. He doesn't want to show how much their little show hurts him.
Imogen's hand finds his under the table and squeezes it. Her left thumb runs over the knuckles on his right hand smoothly, tracing every bone with the tip of her fingernail.
Eli can't push her away, as much as he's like to.
The rest of lunch goes by quietly. Imogen and Fiona continue to talk about the play. Her hand holds Eli's under the table away from everyone's view. He never squeezes back but that doesn't stop her. Adam and Katie speak quietly, she whispers into his ear and he blushes. Eli is really happy for him. Katie's joy and general calmness balance out the emo that he drops on Adam.
Eli writes in his notebook. He feels Imogen peeking every now and then. But he gives up; he doesn't hide his words from her. Her interest, however annoying it can be at times, is what Eli craves under all the medication.
Eli is desperate for someone to care.
He goes on with his day. He walks from class to class with the same dead look in his eye. His leg throbs every now and then.
It reminds Eli that he is still alive.
School ends and Eli walks to the auditorium in a huff. He saw as Jake pressed Clare up against a locker and kissed her slowly.
As usual, Imogen appears when he is most vulnerable, ready to "comfort" him in any way that she can.
"Eli, I found this really cool song," she says slowly and pulls out her iTouch. Imogen scrolls through her song list and presses play. "It's not really in your favorite genre but I think you'll like it."
A piano begins to play. Daryl Hall begins singing.
"I see a window and all I can think about is
So do you wanna fly with me?"
Eli wants to run away. Imogen would do something like this. She fucking would. He's captivated. He wants to keep listening. Someone is rapping now; he recognizes it as the guy from Gym Class Heroes. Adam really likes them.
"Now is you is or is you ain't with me?
And I fully understand if you got other plans
But I can't see you hand in hand with another man
I've been on autopilot since we last spoke"
"I like it," Imogen croons. She knows she's trapped Eli. "Doesn't it kind of apply to you?" She asks boldly.
The chorus starts again and Eli thinks this song is great. It's scary how much he can relate to it. Half of him wants to thank Imogen and the other half wants to fly away. She knows him too well and he hasn't actually told her anything.
Then the second verse starts.
"She looked me dead in the eyes and took me by the hand
Kissed me on the cheek and said baby listen I understand
You don't have to leave plus I'm scared of heights"
Eli stops listening. "I like the first verse and the chorus," he states coldly.
"Yeah," says Imogen sadly, "I figured you would."
Everyone else shows up after that. The moment is broken and Eli jumps from his seat and all but flies to Fiona's side behind the control table.
"Champagne made me fly," Fiona says simply when they're alone and everyone's gone to change or get into position.
This is one of the reasons Eli really likes Fiona. She understands him on a level almost no one else can. They've never talked too intimately. The play and Adam are their only connection. But they relate so easily. She utters phrases that speak volumes to Eli.
"You didn't feel like flying anymore?" Eli asks. He is implying her rehab stay.
"No," Fiona says and she sounds a little bit mad. "I loved flying. But they put a stop to that. I wasn't flying anymore. I was falling."
Eli swallows nervously but Fiona but smiles and leans down to whisper in his ear.
"But sometimes, when I'm all alone, I still fly away for a few hours," she pulls back and winks. Fiona brings her right thumb and index finger up to his lips. She mimics the act of zipping his lips and throwing away the key.
Eli nods in understanding, turning back to the cast and crew ready to start the first day of dress rehearsal.
They begin and Eli zones in and out. He doesn't really have to pay attention. He knows subconsciously when something isn't being done right. Fiona knows the play like the back of her hand as well. She likes yelling at people and telling them they aren't doing it right. Eli lets her deal with that.
Imogen is very convincing as her character and it shakes Eli to his core. She wasn't supposed to be this good. She wasn't supposed to understand the character that well. Imogen walked on stage and was her character.
Eli flees soon after rehearsals are done. He doesn't want Imogen to ask him how she was. He doesn't want to tell her how terrific she was on a creepy level. He tells Fiona to tell her she did fine.
The play comes and goes. The show was spectacular. Fiona brought in her brother from New York just to brag about how amazing it was. She teased him and said that it might've even been better than the one he put on the year before.
Declan shook Eli's hand and told him he really enjoyed it. He asked who the lead was supposed to be inspired from and Eli didn't have the heart to answer. His vague response never answered the question fully.
Eli wasn't looking for compliments. He just wanted to get his words out. They'd been eating him up inside.
Another month flies by. Two weeks until school is over.
Eli is losing it.
He talks about flying away more than ever and he is beginning to worry everyone. Imogen finally took the many hints Eli left and stopped approaching him on a romantic level. Now she just wanted to be there for him as a friend.
Eli speaks of flying as if he could really do it. He wants to. He yearns for it.
His friends are getting scared. Adam and Imogen put their differences aside and talk to Eli's parents one afternoon when he is at his therapy session. There are tears in their eyes as they explain to Cece what Eli sputters on about.
Imogen tells Cece and Bullfrog about the things she's seen written in his notebook. Adam is too scared to be angry at her.
They call Eli's therapist and inform him of everything Imogen and Adam said. He promises to talk to Eli about it.
Eli knows they had sex.
He knew the day after it happened. He just knew.
His heart broke into a million pieces. Adam, Imogen and Fiona try to put him back together but they can't find the tiny missing pieces that have scattered too far.
Clare looks at Eli with pity. She sends him tiny apologetic smiles on the rare occasion that their eyes meet or they cross paths.
Edwards, he thinks venomously, I said I don't want your fucking pity.
Eli starts popping two and sometimes three pills a day. One isn't enough anymore. He can't fly away with one.
He doesn't know that Adam calls Katie almost every night now in tears. He doesn't know that he sobs for hours because he can't help his best friend…his other brother.
Eli is oblivious to the fact that Imogen is now half terrified of him. She bites her lip every time she sees him scribble or doodle away in his notebook. The stubborn, stronger side of Imogen tells her not to run now. She won't be another person that leaves him high and dry.
Fiona starts drinking again. This is not directly because of Eli. But she begins to envy him. She sees him flying and she wants to fly again too. Fiona's seen him sneaking pills. A part of her wants to ask him for one, just to see what it's like. But she doesn't want to be selfish. The pills are Eli's escape. So she runs back to her own. The sound of the cork popping feels like home.
Eli sits at his window ledge from the moment he gets home to the moment he has to get ready for school again.
Some days he'll fall asleep, if he's lucky. But most of the time he's running on two or three hours of interrupted slumber.
The circles around his eyes look like permanent bruises. He rubs his eyes to stay awake in class. He almost falls off his stool in biology. Imogen catches him with a steady hand. She throws a weak smile at him and he finally smiles back, just to throw her off.
The girl that sits in front of them turns around and stares. Her red ringlets bounce up and down. Jake squeezes her hand to get Clare's attention back. Eli and her stare at each other.
Eli wants to throw up at how normally she got to continue on living. Imogen coughs loudly to interrupt their moment, not out of jealousy, but out of protection. Those few seconds they stared at each other will haunt Eli for days to come. The way she was looking at him will keep Eli awake at night.
Clare looks at Imogen, who is glaring with such intensity and Clare actually flinches. She nods once and turns away. Imogen takes Eli's hand and squeezes it hard to bring him back down from whatever space in his mind he's flown off to.
Eli really, really wishes she wouldn't do that. He doesn't want to come down. He wants to stay in the space he flew to.
He escapes. Every other day it's a new place. He goes missing for a few hours and when he comes back there are thirty or so missing calls and a bunch of text messages from Adam, Imogen, Fiona, his parents and even Katie.
But Eli's just off flying. Or, well, finding the perfect spot to fly off.
You see, Eli is ready to fly now. He's made up his mind and he is positive that he is ready to fly. He can fly and he will.
Now he spends those few hours he's missing every other day looking for the perfect spot to fly from.
His bedroom window is not high enough. Eli won't feel anything before he lands.
He wants enough time from the moment he flies off to the moment he knows he will land. He wants enough time to feel because it will be for the last time.
The roof at Degrassi is too obvious. Eli isn't flying for show. He's flying to get away.
He checks out a few more spots before finding the perfect place.
Eli sees the balcony sticking out over the boulevard and smiles. He is fucking smiling like a kid in a candy store. He walks into the hotel and asks for the room with the beautiful balcony. The concierge looks at him with a raised eyebrow but books Eli the room for next week.
He's never been so excited for anything in his life.
I'm going to fly, he scribbles in his notebook. Imogen's not around to sneak a glance and run for help now.
Eli pops his pills and puts on the best show he can. For that one final week he acts like he's getting better.
Everyone can see right through him. But they believe that Eli is just trying to finally push himself to a good state.
They have no idea.
It's Tuesday night now. Eli told Cece that he was staying over Adam's. He told Adam he felt sick and skipped their Guys' Night. He kissed Imogen's cheek and thanked her. She was too stunned to notice the dead glint in his eye. He told Fiona to find another way to fly and made her promise him to stop drinking. He asked Katie to stand by Adam's side.
Eli walks to Clare's house now. It's not late enough and he sees her though her window. She and Jake are cuddled on the couch. He drops two letters in her mailbox as quietly as he can. He doesn't want to interrupt their moment.
One is to Jake, asking him to take good care of Clare.
Clare's letter is an apology. Eli's sorry he pulled her into his fucked up life. He's sorry he made her feel like she had to stay. He's sorry for scaring her. He's sorry for suffocating her. He's sorry for her guilt and asks her to stop feeling it. He thanks her for her pity at the end, though he didn't want it. Eli promises her that he is in a great place now and that he just wants to fly away.
Eli walks from her home to the tattoo and piercing parlor where he and Clare got their piercings done. He asks for wings on his shoulder blades.
The tattoo artist asks him if he's high.
Eli puts on his best smile and shakes his head.
"I just really want my wings," Eli says simply, "I'm going to fly away now, you see? And I can't fly without my wings."
The artist is positive Eli's high, but he gestures to the chair anyway because he is a paying customer after all. Eli sits in the cold leather chair for three hours and smiles at the stinging pain of the needle.
Eli takes a cab to his hotel. He checks in and the same concierge lady asks him why he has no bag or luggage.
"I have everything I need," Eli assures her.
He takes the fancy glass elevator to his floor. He likes the sensation you get inside elevators.
He steps out onto his floor and runs to his room. He shoves the key card into the slot and smiles when the little light turns green and the door clicks. The throws the door open and shuts it gently behind him.
Eli can see the balcony from the minute he walks into his room. He notices that the room is much higher than the building across the street. That's good. He can watch the sunrise and fly then.
Eli loves the sunrise. It's his favorite part of the day. It is beginning.
Flying away is Eli's new beginning.
Eli sees that this hotel is fancy enough to have an iHome in the room. He happily plugs in his iPod and plays the song loudly.
He fell in love with that Gym Class Heroes song Imogen showed him. The chorus and verse anyway. He downloaded a cheap song editor and cut out the second verse though.
The new, broken song is his favorite. The chorus, first verse, and chorus play repeatedly the entire night.
Eli has six pills left in his tiny, orange bottle. He takes them slowly throughout the night.
The note is deep in his back pocket and he sincerely hopes someone finds it.
Eli pulls a chair to the balcony and sits out on it all night. He watches the moon and stars shine above.
The sun begins to rise and Eli knows it's time.
He's pretty much dead already, though. The pills have almost shut off his entire brain. It has flown away. And he's finally ready for the rest of him to fly away with it.
He puts the chair back and cleans the room. He takes his iPod off the dock and plugs it into his own ears. He turns the dial to play it as loud as it can. He still leaves a tip for housekeeping and thanks them for letting him fly. He's sorry that they'll carry a scary reputation now.
So do you wanna fly with me?
The sun rises with its golden perfection and it's time.
He climbs up onto the balcony ledge with wobbly legs. Eli steadies himself because he wants to do this right.
It's early enough that the only people awake and out at this hour are early morning exercisers or drunks trying to find their way home.
Eli closes his eyes.
I'm going to fly, he thinks and a smirk creeps onto his face.
He's flying. His eyes are closed and he is nothing.
Elijah Goldsworthy finally flew.
Do you wanna fly with me?
Everyone finds out and there is utter silence.
Mr. Simpson asked the teachers to gently tell their homeroom classes about what happened. He is suddenly haunted and reminded of the day he found Claude. He wishes he didn't have to go through this twice in one lifetime.
Ms. Dawes waits for her homeroom to walk in. Clare skips in with a smile on her face and she regrets the day she paired her up with Eli. She wipes away the tears that threaten to escape and turns from her class. Adam walks in somberly, and she wonders if he's got a feeling like he knows. The rest of the grade tens she is in charge of walk in and Ms. Dawes shuts the door silently.
The class is confused…she never shuts the door.
"Class, I have some very tragic news…"
The students' faces fall with every word she says after that.
Ms. Oh is pulling at her hair. She waits for the rest of her grade elevens to walk in. Katie looks in need of coffee. Drew looks terrified, like he has every day since spring break. Jake is calm like usual. Imogen walks in with a bleak expression. She usually skips in with a happy expression and weird additions to her uniform but today she's wearing minimal colors. Her hair is down for once.
She shuts the door and sighs.
"Kids, I've got something to tell you…"
A cold chill takes over the room.
The grade twelve's walk into class happily. Fiona is still sort of buzzed from last night. Mr. Armstrong decides to ignore it. Holly J and Sav are bickering over something about graduation. He wishes he didn't have to break their happy spirit.
"Settle down people," Mr. Armstrong says, "guys, this morning…"
Do you wanna fly with me?
Adam can't stop crying. Imogen is heaving. They both feel like they've failed as friends.
They are at the funeral.
The casket is in front. Closed, of course, but neither can work up enough courage to go stand by it and pay their respects anyway.
Katie is crying too. She may not have known Eli well enough. But he was Adam's other brother and his pain is hers too.
Sav can't cry but he's at a standstill. This was the kid that had pushed Sav to break away from his parents harsh rules. He'll never forget that Dead Hand concert.
Drew is a little ways away from his brother. Bianca's hand is tight in his. Neither really knew Eli, but Drew knows that Eli was Adam's brother too. Eli always had Adam's back and protected him from people like Fitz. He is thankful for that and that's why he's there.
Mr. Simpson and Ms. Dawes are there too. They were being updated on Eli's progress by his parents and felt the loss of a wonderful student and a bright young man.
Fiona's sobered up. She sits like a statue. Holly J has all but moved into her condo to keep an eye on her. Fiona doesn't want to fly like Eli anymore.
Jake sits near the back. Clare handed him his letter and broke up with him. He plans to keep his promise to Eli though. That's why he's here.
Adam and Imogen are holding each other, ironically enough. One of his hands is clenched in Katie's and the other arm is wrapped around Imogen as she sobs.
They both just wanted to help him.
Clare walks to them with red eyes. She's been crying since the moment Ms. Dawes told them. She expects Adam and Imogen to turn her away, to blame her.
Imogen looks up and beckons Clare to sit between her and Adam. She sits and the three of them break down even more.
Clare's whispering apologies but Imogen shushes her.
"He said you had nothing to be sorry for, so be quiet," she says.
They hug and cry. The boy they both loved on different levels is gone.
Katie wraps her arm around Adam and he cries into her neck. She's keeping her promise to stand by him.
"He flew," Imogen whispers.
Adam pulls away. "He didn't fly…he fucking jumped." He's a little bit angry at Eli, but mostly he just misses his friend.
"No Adam," Clare whispers. She's holding one of Imogen's hands and she reaches for Adam's. "He flew. We just weren't there to catch him."
The three of them look at the piece of paper from Eli's back pocket. Cece had handed it to them. She and Bullfrog were crying at the front of the room.
I'm flying, it read.
Thoughts? Review please.