Rabbit Foot
By O-Shoyu
I've always been a bit confused by the Luck stat in Fire Emblem 7. Although I know what it does in-game, (lowers enemy hit chance and critical chance; reduces probability of attacking yourself with a Devil Axe), it never made that much sense to me. Thus, this short parody oneshot was born.
Darkness blanketed the small clearing in the forest. The only light came from the stars, and the only sound came from the few nocturnal creatures that crept through the darkness. One of them put a hand to the hilt of his expensive silver dagger as he stalked toward the glade, silent but for the gentle swish of his cloak. Narrowed eyes surveyed his target sleeping peacefully beneath the stars, lilac hair splayed out like an aura of color. The cloaked man crept closer to Legault and unsheathed his dagger carefully. The curved blade reflected pinpricks of starlight as it sped silently toward Legault's inevitable death...
But the killer heard no sound, felt no spray of blood. His blade was buried in the soft, loamy soil. His eyes widened, then narrowed. Aiming at a different angle, his blade once again pierced the air...
But did not pierce flesh. Impossibly so, his target had moved in his sleep. Twice. The assassin drew a second dagger. No one leaves the Black Fang and two daggers at once, it was bound to be less clean, but successful elimination of Legault was inevitable. Standing over the former Hurricane, he prepared to strike.
Legault was in a flowery field.
"Am I dreaming?" he wondered aloud.
No answer came but he surmised it to be true, since he did not remember traveling to a meadow. He remembered falling asleep in a shady clearing.
"As far as dreams go, this one isn't that bad," remarked Legault, thinking back to his past nightmares.
He began to regress on his earlier remark when a rumbling noise reached his ears. I seemed to come from all directions. He saw nothing, until into the clearing burst a massive horde of...
"Kittens?"
They ran right for him and leaped, but not with teeth bared or claws outstretched. He dodged left and right, but there were too many. The piled on top of him, and he was surprised to note that it really was not that uncomfortable. With a shock, he remembered that he was allergic to cats. His nose began to itch something terrible.
Legault awoke with a mighty sneeze, and moments later, a splitting headache. Someone was laying on top of him.
"Heath, I know you love me, but now is not the time."
There was no reply, or even any movement.
"Okay, all joking aside, wake up and please move. My head is hurting quite a lot, and frankly, you're not helping."
No answer.
"Heath, you are really-" Legault froze as he remembered that he had not seen Heath in many years. So who was this mystery person, laying on him in the dead of night?
Blinking and rubbing his head, he sat up, pushing the body off of him. He recoiled in surprise when he recognized the face of one of his comrades-turned-enemies from the Black Fang. He noticed the daggers on the ground on either side of him. There was no doubt about it, he had knocked the assassin out with his head when he sneezed.
"Oh my, I am quite a lucky soul."
A Note From the Author:
Well, I think it's a total piece of expletive, but that's what I think of about 95% of my writing. I'd like to know what you think, however, so please review!
As a side note, this is my first fanficiton.