This is very anti-Hook and Anti-CS, so i would advise you not to read if you're a fan of either of those things. There's also a lot of abuse described in this, so please be careful while reading if that upsets or affects you.

The title comes from the Hozier song of the same name, which is also about domestic abuse.

Set a couple of months after the CS wedding, Emma starts to realise that her marriage isn't healthy. I may continue this so please let me know what you think!

Emma didn't notice the change.

It crept upon her like a monster creeping under the bed, the change happened upon the two of them in a synced dance for power, and slowly Emma lost everything whereas he gained all. She had been in love, she was in love, true love… wasn't she?

~OUAT~

She heard the door slam, she wasn't sure if it was the actual smell or the memory of it which made her knew that he smelt like a distillery, not just his alcohol of choice he was no longer fussy with liquor he would take any. She felt her heart quicken as he walked up the stairs, his boots slamming down hard on the wood, she wasn't sure if he was just drunk or was angrily drunk.

She heard him calling her name as he got up the stairs.

"Mrs Jones."

She pretended to be asleep.

~OUAT~

Emma stood in the kitchen making pancakes. It was something she was trying her hardest to learn, cooking, she had never excelled at it – her parents had tried to teach her when she had lived with them, she had never really excelled at it and had been known to be able to burn water. But she tried. She wanted to be able to do something to contribute to their household, Henry spent most of his time with his friends or at Regina's so often she would just be alone in the house, turning down offers to see people became second nature to her

"I, erm… I thought that I might go to my parents' house tomorrow." She said pleasantly. She held her breath. The air as always was intoxicating, the smell of alcohol and her attempts at cooking, she could feel herself chocking on it, slowly.

"No."

That was it, no explanation, Emma hadn't realised she was asking permission, but apparently she was. "It's just my mom invited me, and I haven't seen her in ages, and I figured I could probably help my dad out on his farm, not that I know the first thing about farming… I know you're busy with work and now neither he nor I are at the station I figured…-"

That was another thing she thought in the back of her mind he had slowly convinced her to give up the sheriff position, which had fallen to her deputy to fill. He had convinced her at first she needed some time off, to relax after all the craziness which had happened in her life over the past couple of years. He had been her knight in shining armour. That time off had slowly lengthened she had demoted herself to deputy when he pointed out that she was extremely rusty after her time off. She had taken herself off from work completely when he had announced to their, her, family at a dinner one day while smiling down at her little brother that they'd be trying for their own child soon enough. That had blind sighted Emma, they had toyed around with the idea to the extent that he had strongly encouraged her to talk to Henry about it,

"Aye, and I said no!" He shouted, he spilt some of the rum he was pouring into a hip flask and growled in frustration, he didn't notice his wife cower as he did, even if he had seen would he care?
Probably not, he wasn't a morning person.
He stood up and strode towards her. He towered over her and raised his hand to point towards her face, he didn't miss her flinch that time, he just didn't care. He pointed at her busted lip and the yellow and green fusion of a bruise which was fading around it.
"You think I don't know that you're trying to push me away? What do you think Dave and Snow would say if they saw you like this? They wouldn't understand! We're not like them, we're not heroes, we might have been once before you turned to the darkness and sucked me in with you…" He trailed off deliberately. He placed his hand on her cheek and held tight, forcing her to look at him. "They don't get us, Emma Jones," he smiled when he said her name, it had taken him so long to win her, "they don't get that this was both of our fault."

Emma found herself nodding her head. She gave him a smile which didn't meet her eyes. He was right. "I know, I'm sorry, I won't go. I love you." But those three words sounded like a question. So, she pulled him into a kiss, it was always a good distraction technique, plus he had to get to work so the kiss wouldn't be able to turn into anything else.

Killian finally pulled back with a smile, he hadn't noticed that Emma hadn't been the one to pull away out of fear, she had simply tried to outlast him, she hadn't enjoyed it, but what did that have to do with him? He picked up her phone from the counter. "I'll let your mother know you can't make it, that you're ill," he used his hook to brush one of the purple bags under her eyes, "you should get some rest you look tired."

He slipped the phone into his pocket and left with it.

It might have been an accident, he might have thought it was his cell phone, and he was simply going to ring her mother, he didn't mean to leave with her phone. It could have been an accident.

It wasn't.

~OUAT~

He had knocked her walls down, like a wrecking ball, he was so proud of that. But she felt as though she was locked in a tower, guarded by a fire breathing dragon, and there was no way out.

The next few weeks only got worse. He would go out and get drunk every night, if she was lucky he would spend the night with someone else, she didn't even feel jealous or betrayed about that, it was a grateful respite. When he was there it was like she was walking on eggshells, she tried to keep the peace but it worked less and less.

He hadn't given her the cell phone back, eventually her parents and friends stopped calling the house, they'd tried to pop around but Killian had changed the locks so that even her key wouldn't be able to get her in from the outside, and she was too ashamed of the shell she had become to pick up the courage to open the door or to just run.

Even Regina wouldn't have been able to get in, Emma had put up a spell when they had first moved in to stop other magic users from ever getting in, it was Killian's idea – he was worried about their family's safety, he had claimed. He had claimed the same when he gave her a bracelet, he had found it in the bottom of his trunk from his years exploring the realms, it did the same job as the magic cuffs. She had put it on easily when he had confessed he was worried about her, and his own health, and had reminded her what had happened with David and the street lamp a few months previously.

But apparently Killian was keeping them placated enough to not worry too much about Emma.

She could only assume that it was her parents' natural instincts which made them worry about her, they posted notes through but assumed no one was home, Emma couldn't bring herself to throw them away. So, she kept them. Seeing her name written on them, in her parent's scrawls, made her feel more like herself for a fraction of a second at least, she wasn't just 'Mrs Jones'. She was Emma.

~OUAT~

It was the notes which had been the breaking point. The worst and the best thing to happen.

Killian had found them. He had shouted, hit her, blamed her for things; for him being stuck in the town, for her ruining him, him not being somewhere sailing through the realms, he was no longer a pirate. And she apologise, through the hits, through the blames, the name calling.

But then he said something which was like ice water through her veins, she stopped apologising, she was still.

"Talk to them again, and I'll kill them." He threatened. "It wouldn't be the first 'Charming' I've killed."

He hadn't realised that that threat was enough to wake her up, he just left her bloody and bruised on the floor, while he went out again.

But Emma dragged herself up despite the pain. She threw together a bag, clothes she had had before she had got together with him, there were plenty, she remembered they had only been together since after Neal was born about nine months ago.

"A whirl wind romance." Emma snorted to herself in the too big house, her first joke in months, it brought a sardonic smile to her face which was miles better than the empty scared smile. "True love." She said just as sarcastically. She wanted to cry, but it would hurt too much, and she didn't have much time.

She grabbed some photographs, none with him in them, her box of memories, the torn up notes from her parents. Her baby blanket.

She rooted through his drawers until she found the keys to her bug hidden in his sock drawer. She raced to the garage, ignoring the pain in her ribs and the rest of her body, she didn't bother to shut the front door as she left the house. It had been shut for far too long.

~OUAT~

Across town on the outskirts, David and Snow sat cuddled together on the couch in their farmhouse, they weren't talking or watching the screen of the television they both had their eyes on the picture of Emma. They had both been trying not to freak the other out, but neither were happy or comfortable with not having seen her in so long, despite Killian's assurances that she was just sick or was busy working at the station. But they were at a loss as to what to do next.

David was about to open his mouth, to finally raise his concerns with his wife about their daughter, to admit there was something more going on when there was a knock at the door. David sighed as Snow left his arms and headed to answer the door, he's speak to her when she was back. He glanced at the clock as he heard the door opened, he frowned, it was far too late for just normal visitors unless something was wrong. He got up from the couch and headed to the entrance hall.

His mouth fell open. "Emma." He breathed out. At first it was because of just seeing her after so long, it was just so unbelievable. By the time he composed himself enough to notice the state she was in Snow was pulling her into the house and shutting the door shut behind her.

"Emma." Snow's hands went to Emma's cheeks, though she made sure to be gentle. Her daughter looked completely different than she had the last time she had seen her, she knew what the injuries Emma looked to be from, but she hoped she was wrong for Emma's sake. "Emma, baby, can you tell me what happened?"

Emma's breath shuddered in her throat. She shook her head a little.

Emma's right eye had obviously been punched it was already a deep purple and swollen the white of it was bloodshot, her nose was bloody but luckily not broken, and her lip was busted open and bleeding. Her bones looked almost skeletal as though she hadn't had a good meal since the last her parents had seen her (which she hadn't), he skin almost unnaturally pale (more suited to her mother's famous fairy tale looks than her own), there were bags under her un-swollen eye, she looked more like a bad Halloween costume than the Emma Swan they knew and loved.

When she spoke, her voice cracked, as though she hadn't spoken in weeks. "Can I stay with you guys for a little while?"

She didn't really need to ask, she had a key to their place, and her own room perfectly decorated to her tastes. Her taste which was so different than the style she had recently adopted, like the clothes she was currently wrapped in, all bar her armour of her red leather jacket. She felt like she was being buried alive in them.

Tears rolled down from Snow's cheeks, Emma's reaction told her all she needed it to, the pirate had done this. "Of course you can." She promised. "For as long as you need or want to."

David stepped forward toward Emma, like his wife's, his face was streaked with tears. Also like her he was full of anger, but when he spoke to Emma he spoke softly, he didn't want to scare her. "Emma, where is he?"

Emma had been pretty expressionless, as though in shock, she kind of was. But David's word's had made her eyes grow wide, her face full of fear and worry. "No, dad, no please. Please don't go, please just stay with me." She wasn't afraid of Killian's threat to her parents, she knew they could easily fight him and win especially if he was drunk, she just wanted, needed, her parents to stay with her.

David held his hands up in a surrendering gesture. His voice stayed soft and calm as though talking to a spooked animal on the farm, or a scared child, more the latter than the former. "Okay, it's okay, Em. I promise I'm not leaving you." He watched her analyse his face to see if he was telling the truth, he hadn't see her do that in so long, it was just as heart breaking as her physical injuries.

Emma slowly nodded her head, she wasn't sure what to do next, she hadn't thought this far when she had been racing to escape.

David and Snow led her into the living room, they had one of their silent eye conversations as they did so. They knew they had to find out what injuries Emma had, they'd most probably have to take her to the hospital to get her checked out as well, so they'd have to get Neal a sitter but that should be fairly easy. Not to mention getting Hook off of the street and preferable out of the town too.

"Em, I'm going to ring Leroy and Regina about getting," he didn't want to say his name and upset her, "the pirate away. Your mom's gonna help you take a bath because I don't think you're going to be able to do it by yourself, then me, you, and your mother and going to decide what needs to be done next, okay?"

Emma nodded her head, him describing the actions which were going to happen helped ease her anxiety at least a little. She shakily undid her jacket and took it off, she was with her parents, she was safe, she didn't need the armour.

Snow gasped when Emma took off her jacket and David found the room lacking air, so he couldn't even do that. There was a huge cut down Emma's bruised arm, as though done by a knife, or a hook.

Emma noticed what they were staring at. "That was an accident," she tried to tell them, "he forgot the hook was on that hand." She parroted his excuse he had delivered with flowers the next day, after a night spent in a bar, or with some other girl. He had always been good at the apologising, the gestures to make her think he was sorry and loved her, but none of those had appeared in the recent weeks, he probably realised he didn't have to do it anymore.

They were looking at her like something had broke inside her. He had warned her about that, that they wouldn't want some broken adult, they had an actual child who needed them not some failure of a 'saviour'. She remembered the way he had spit that word.

"No, baby, it wasn't an accident." Snow's voice was kind yet firm. "And it wasn't your fault. It's okay, it's all over now, he's never going to hurt you again."

Suddenly two pairs of arms were around her. Her parents holding her close to them, holding her together, yet gentle not to hurt her further, not before they figured out the extent of her injuries.

Her dad's hand came up to cradle the back of her head, as it always did.

She finally broke down.