Welcome to a new story! So this basically takes off right after 4x23 ends because let's be honest, we all need something to recover from it. This story is a collab I'm doing with AKgirl24 ( )/Wishuponaharry (Tumblr).

Enjoy!

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The metal was cool against her hand as she ran her thumb over the fingerprint that was etched into the dog tag Voight had given her just a short while ago. She heard her phone ringing and pulled it out of her jacket pocket, not at all surprised when Jay's name spanned the top of the screen. She had removed the photo of them she had previously when he left. She couldn't bear to see his smiling face every time he called, she barely had the courage to look at his face during work. Her heart would hurt every time he gave her a small smile or when she would feel his gaze on her as she spoke to the team. She needed to get over it. Over him. She only hesitated for a moment before pressing the lock button, ending the incoming call, tears gathering in her eyes as she stared across the water at the Chicago skyline.

All she did was take a deep breath, turning away and headed towards her car. As she drove, her mind was filled with the events of the past few days. A shudder ran down her spine as she thought about the little boy who now lay in the morgue. If only they had worked just a little bit faster, that child would still be alive, maybe scarred, but alive. If she was going to make an impulsive move in the end, she could've done so earlier and saved that boy. But she didn't.

Erin parked and sat in the car, willing up the energy to walk up to her apartment to start on her new life, one she hoped would rid her of her current emotions. That's just what Erin Lindsay does. She works hard so she doesn't have to think of the bad stuff. All her life she pushed away the pain and here she was, doing it yet again. Finally, she got out of the car and made her way upstairs, pausing to run her fingers over the circle of metal on her door that marked the apartment number 310.

It didn't take long for her to fill a suitcase with the things she'd need. She tossed in her toiletries and a few other mementos before adding in a few handfuls of clothes. The suitcase zipped easily and she wheeled it into the kitchen. The only things in her fridge were a few beers, a takeout container of sesame chicken, and an overly ripe apple. She heated the chicken in the microwave and cut up the apple, putting the slices into a Ziploc bag and throwing them in her bag.

Once the chicken was thoroughly warmed, she grabbed a plastic fork and grabbed the suitcase and headed out. She felt her heart break a little when she spotted a photo of her and Jay on the bookshelf. It was a photo from when he took her for a day out on the Chicago River. He insisted that boating was the best way to spend their first day off in 2 weeks, "a way to blow off some energy".

Snatching it off of the shelf, she stuffed it in her suitcase, frame and all. The room was immersed in darkness as she flipped off the lights and headed towards the door, peering over her shoulder before slamming it shut. She jiggled the knob to make sure it was locked before dragging her things to her car.

"Where are you going?"

Erin nearly dropped the container of chicken at the sound of Jay's voice. His voice was still warm like honey, but she could hear the tiredness in it. She knew he wasn't sleeping too well, the dark circles under his eyes seemed to get deeper and deeper by the day. All she wanted to do was drag him to a bed and lie down with him, combing her fingers through his hair as she lulled him to sleep. But she couldn't.

She turned and saw him standing there, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his black jacket, leaning against the hood of her car. The streetlights illuminated his face, and she could see the sadness in his eyes. Her heart broke a little when she saw him, but her voice was still as strong as ever.

"I have a flight to catch, Jay. Please don't make this harder than it already is," she said, shoving her suitcase in the backseat and slamming the door.

She turned to walk to the drivers side, but he caught her arm. He pulled her to him, trapping her in his arms. His green eyes were calm, but Erin could feel his heart racing in his chest. She looked up at him expectantly.

"Let me go," she said. She tried to be assertive, but her voice came out almost broken, no thanks to her own heart thumping in her chest.

"How can you just walk away from all of this? From Intelligence? From Chicago? From us?" he asked, his eyes searching hers for any semblance of an answer. She could see the tears clouding his vision as he spoke.

"You were the one who walked away from 'us', Jay. Not me," she spat.

"And that will forever be one of the biggest mistakes of my life, but I am not ready to let you leave. Please Erin." She could hear the desperation in his voice as they stood chest to chest. Her resolve was weakening.

"I can't stay here. I don't have a job anymore, my mother may or may not have committed a murder, you and I aren't together, and if Hank keeps me in the unit there won't even be a unit. There's no reason for me to stay, Jay." Tears had started to fill her eyes.

"Let me give you a reason," Jay said.

"What possible reason could you give me?" she asked, her voice shaking.

Jay let go of her and took a step back, digging into his right pocket like he had earlier in the day. He pulled out a red wooden box, the one that belonged to his mother years back, before he shifted onto one of his knees. Erin's eyes involuntarily widened and her breath hitched in her throat as she watched his movements.

"Erin, you're all I think about and you've been there for me every step of the way. I love you so damn much that I can't even explain it and I'm not going to just stand by and watch you leave. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want to have cute little babies with you. I know I fucked up and I know I walked away and I'm so stupid for doing that but it only made me realize how much more I needed you." He took a deep breath before asking the question that had been on his mind all day.

"Will you marry me?"

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