A/N: don't own Bleach. Enjoy.

It is, when your commanding officer stares you in the eye and says 'it's been nice knowing you and oh hell I'm sorry for making that drunken pass on you at last year's cherry blossom festival.' That you know something's wrong. The next minute when you're wondering what comes next…some wise ass decides to let loose a lower class path of destruction spell and then you realize. Something is very WRONG.

At least I did.

Or I should have.

But you see a Visored like what I-was-am-merits nothing in the scheme of Soul society. To them I may have once been Captain Kyoraku's third seat. A well-respected and well-liked soul reaper but now all they could see was the monster inside of me. A monster that needed to be put out of its misery.

I didn't take their pity very well I'm afraid. I said things I shouldn't have, I wounded Lieutenant Ise when it seemed as though my fate were sealed. Captain Kyoraku calmly unsheathed his Zanpaku-to and came toward me. Outward he had the blandest expression on but his eyes pleaded with me to understand.

I'd like to say I tried.

I wish I could have stopped what came over me at the moment when he spoke the release command for his Zanpaku-to, "Katenkyokotsu." The single blade became two and I was trapped between them. "Enomoto-chan," the Captain met my eyes beneath the white mask with one final appeal, "don't make this any harder on yourself." His voice ended in a near whisper; the room became silent as all sound faded away.

I stood in blackness, alone, yet not alone.

"Mistress," taunted a cool slithery voice from behind my back.

I didn't have to turn to see the familiar smooth white mask similar to a drama theatres' sad-happy face but marred by a single black stripe running along the bridge of the nose. My own inner-Hollow, Kyo, I call him. Though, he constantly says that he doesn't have a name.

"Mistress," he said again, a deathly white hand curved around my waist, "that man. Is going to kill you."

"Captain Kyoraku is not 'that man'. He is my Captain and…I trust him to make it painless," I whispered the last part. "Oh," Kyo said, a smirk evident in his tone, "you DON'T want to live then?"

"No."

The Hollow frowned.

I could tell with the violence I was thrust out of his inner world and his ominous words still ringing in my head.

"Well…what if I do?"

Captain Kyoraku hadn't moved an inch from when he first had caught me. Katenkyokotsu still had me ensnared, one wrong move and I'd be sliced apart no questions asked. I didn't ask anything, couldn't plead, couldn't warn, and only watched in a detached disembodied kind of way as 'my' hand suddenly struck out. My bare palm met the sharp edge of the Zanpaku-to; while 'my' other summoned my own sword, "strike down your enemies, Shunten-Satsu!"

My sword when released closely resembles a lighting bolt with a handle and guard. Kyo's version is much the same and unfortunately for eighth Company, he can wield it better than I can. "Raijin Honoi Kazuchi!" the words slipped out past my numb lips. Horrified, I saw the yellow tinted light crackle off the blade's uneven edge. Lieutenant Ise screamed, I witnessed the terror reflected in her wide eyes behind their glass frames.

She didn't know me.

She didn't recognize the person standing before her.

This woman of medium height, dark almost black hair spilling past her shoulders, face covered by a white Hollow mask that had slits for eyes, and her upraised sword dripping blood whether from her sliced palm or from another innocent victim, Nanao Ise didn't know.

Hell, I didn't even know myself.

Captain Kyoraku had his Zanpaku-to back in its normal state, a red stain discolored part of his pink overcoat, swiftly he shunpo-ed to the Lieutenant and grabbed her by the shoulders. Vaguely I read the movements of his mouth, 'the building is going to come down! We need to get out!'

Lieutenant Ise merely nodded; her gaze was still upon me. I felt my arm being drawn up again like Zeus hurling a lightning bolt down into the unsuspecting world. "Senmetsu…" I whispered. Kyo laughed manically. The roof crashed in, Captain Kyoraku barely escaped carrying a stunned Lieutenant Ise. I, whether from a twisted sense of self-preservation left the wreckage behind, traveling as fast as my meager Shunpo would allow.

"Now, Mistress," Kyo started as I rounded the corner at the top of Sokyoku hill, "do you know 'where' to go after this? You did attack your commanding officers that had the order to kill you. So you very well can't go back."

I glanced at the smoke rising from eighth Company's quarters and felt nothing. Empty. Hollow was the word, "I don't know," I said truthfully to my inner-Hollow, "there's no place that'll accept me for what I am."

Kyo became silent.

And I became aware of several dozen spiritual pressures varying from low to Captain strength approaching the wreckage of eighth Company.

"Hueco Mundo," Kyo interrupted suddenly.

I'd just been contemplating going back and giving myself up to the assembling soul reapers. "Hueco Mundo? Are you crazy? That's where all the…" I stopped.

"Hollows live," Kyo finished for me.

"But I'm not a…"

"Yes dear. You are a Hollow. So start acting like one."

~~~*~~~

Kyo knew how to open a Garganta portal to Hueco Mundo, I didn't. From Soul society I left to the world of the living via his help, my main preoccupation getting away from anybody who would recognize me and—oh yeah—have orders to kill on sight, no questions asked.

Briefly I thought of my parents living in the Rukongai; would they mourn me? Mourn their only living daughter seemingly disappearing forever? I paused, thinking of the grave mound and stone tablet bearing her name, eighth company would most likely erect a memorial tablet next to it, saying I'd died on patrol. I knew how they operated and how my change would be covered up.

Breathing in, I turned away from the white city and familiar memories of all it invoked.

~~~Hueco Mundo~~~

I had lived all of my undead life there in the Soul society, being one of the rare babies who were born in the districts or usually in the Noble families, and I was leaving it all behind. The sandy world that met my eyes devoid of emotions seemed not at all a miss from what I felt. The moon was out, trekking across a black sky with no stars shining, I set foot on the top of a high sand dune, my hand loose on the bag's strap hanging over my shoulder.

I stood for a second in the emptiness of the bleak world, and then swung my left foot over my right…suddenly feeling my body begin a disturbing downward slide. What the hell!? My back hit the wall of grainy white powder, tumbling head over heels. Dizzily I discovered peculiar dark shapes traversing the bottom of the dune and one in particular stopping my fall.

I slammed straight into a rock hard side, my head woozy and blackness beneath my lids. A groan split my lips, wetness sliding down my chin, I raised a hand wiping it and coming away sticky with red blood. I blinked, feeling also a little trickle dribbling near the corner of my eye. Reflexively I shut it, cupping my palm against my throbbing eye, I made the mistake of tilting my face back, the guttural mutterings surrounding me did nothing but further the panic overcoming my former calmness when I discovered just what had stopped my tumbling: a Hollow.

And not just any Hollow, but a blue-haired, tail-swishing large Adjucha.

Despite my acceptance of what I was…that did not mean I wasn't without the old Soul reaper and a Hollow are enemies bit. I screamed. Mindlessly and nearly blinded I scrambled forward onto the powdery sand, something touched my ankle and I kicked out, sill screaming. Kyo chuckled, enjoying my hysteria but not lifting a hand to fend off any of the others who seemed to have nothing better to do than circle me while growling.

My mask was useless, broken in half by my fall and still chunks of it remained on my right side. I dropped my hand from my bleeding eye and prepared to draw Shunten out. The Hollows whom had been advancing, now hesitated, staring at the entirety of my face. The blue-haired Adjucha who had stayed back, preferring to watch, hissed something that I didn't understand to a slimmer cohort.

"Arrancar."

Seconds later I found myself standing beside Kyo, a round framed mirror floating before us, reflected within it I saw them start to back off with me at the center, hand wrapped tight on Shunten's hilt. My eyes were closed, the drying blood making it seem as though I wore war paint in a single streak beneath one eye or…

"That you were crying tears of blood," Kyo read my thoughts, grinned.

I rolled my eyes, simply stepping back into my body. The Hollows had all but left, vanishing silently into Hueco Mundo's night. One remained however, I hadn't noticed him before among the others yet I suspected when I raised my gaze to his, that I'd just broken up a daily chomp-fest and perhaps this thing was the unlucky course.

His small body made me think he wasn't an Adjucha like the others, more like…

"A Vasto Lordes." Kyo whispered softly.

My fingers, the nails flecked with red squeezed the bound hilt, ready to slide the sword out. I bit my lip, tasting acrid sweetness, automatically spitting it unladylike onto the sandy ground. The Hollow simply watched me, his slender fingers clutching the dirtied aqua blue cord tied in a knot around the teal sword scabbard at his side.

I sat still, my eye slowly drawn to the silver S-shaped guard, feeling a familiarity as if I'd seen it before…but where? Kyo was looking too, his mask suddenly changing to the sad version—more like—dismayed. I sensed his fear, tart and unpleasant rising in my chest, gripping my lungs in an iron fist so that I had a hard time breathing in.

"Away." Kyo said, his unreasonable terror beginning to infect my body like a hateful poison. I twitched, getting to my feet slowly, the Vasto Lordes shifted, his body tensing.

"GET AWAY!!!!!!"

I felt ice run through my veins, my head pounded with the force of Kyo's screech. The Vasto Lordes took a step toward me, and I turned, my feet flying over the tiny low dunes, adrenaline giving me a speed I'd never possessed. Once. Only once had I felt this…this indescribable horror that left my throat dry and my head throbbing—

--On a night so long ago.

I stopped running, my breaths coming hard and fast from my mouth, my nostrils flared, burning with the force of my exertions. I'd run a long distance from the forest, the place where Thirteenth's survey team had been slaughtered, it occurred to me just then that I hadn't checked to see if any of them had still been living before my flight. Kosuke of course, I felt her reiatsu flare for a second, bright as a disconsolate candle flame in a draft then disappear just as quickly.

I choked back a sob, my lips clamping shut. The grass of the field cut low and as I walked a few steps, muffling, my reiatsu suppressed tightly. Farther off in the distance I heard them yelling, bursts of energy lighting up the dense woodlands I'd left; they were still after me.

I felt for my communicator hooked in the loop at my waist, my fingers closing on empty air. I must've dropped it back there. Panic threatened to overtake me, but I fought it down, sensibly applying minute drops of healing Kido to my left shoulder, the knotted muscles loosening from the wound dealt to me by the Hollow. A whipping, faint cry rattled the trees faraway and I spun around, my eyes searching for the cause. Nothing.

I breathed in, my head dropping to hang on my chest, afraid.

I was afraid.

Why?

The light of the Kido faded, I'd done all I could for my useless shoulder; needles of pain prodded the nerve endings making me hiss softly. The power of the Gatotsu was incredible; pity Soul society had lost it forever. Nevertheless I had to get out of here, I had to get back to the Captain, and I had to tell them of what I saw…

A splotch of something wet struck my temple and trailed down the side of my face. I absently brushed the back of my hand across it, smearing sticky liquid over my cheek. I lifted my hand to my face, seeing beneath the weak moonlight, blood that I knew didn't belong to me. My eyes darted around, looking for the source, as with the cry it seemed to echo strangely as if from above me…

I twisted, my neck throbbing from seeming whiplash, a great black shape hovered in the sky, close enough so that I glimpsed the rent in the wings and oozing blood drizzling onto the earth. It was him…I reached for Shunten just as his lean body tilted downward, angling for a sharp dive.

My blade had withdrawn from the Shikai state so that the curved edge merely flashed dully before I thrust it singly and with every ounce of my strength upward into his chest cavity. We were close. So close to the point of where I could smell him, coppery blood mixed with wet earth and another scent…of mint. My nose tingled, my breath issuing in a soft cloud from my parched lips.

I expected something.

Blood gushing onto my clenched hands holding onto the hilt or a gasp of pain…but nothing. He was staring at me, his vivid eyes visible beneath his mask, his hand rose from his side to rest on mine. I didn't recoil from the contact though I longed to. Then slowly, my eyes drifted down from his face to witness the reason of his calm unfazed expression…

Shunten's blade stuck straight through his empty chain of fate.

I'd thrust my last blow through his chest on the left side; the material of his white jacket had torn, revealing my mistake. He wasn't wounded. I twitched then, tears springing up in the corners of my eyes; a ragged cry left my mouth. I was scared. Frightened. Terrified even, by the simple fact that I was about to die.

His hand yanked out my blade, folding the metal easily. Shunten-Satsu snapped, in my head I heard her anguished cries, my own added to the cacophony resounding in my ears. I began to fall, my body crumpling downward to the ground; he caught me. The sharp bones in his fingers stabbing my arm through the sleeve of the Shihakusho, he lifted me up; I saw his mouth twist into a grin. The brush of wings against my back was imprisoning me so that I couldn't escape.

He meant to eat my soul.

My numbed mind gave way to the unreasoning terror I'd refused to give in to before. My weak body struggled suddenly in his grasp, thrashing, my legs kicking, I yanked backward, landing heavily onto my back. I started crawling, my feet pushing and slipping on the grassy ground, my eyes fixated on his impassive face and didn't notice the other pale white hand that grabbed his wrist when he reached for me.

"Tsk, tsk. Didn't he tell you? This one's mine." The smiling drama theatre mask leaned in over the other's shoulder, "nice to meet the who gave me form, thank you, my dear."

~~~*~~~

Gatotsu: A sword move with three levels of accuracy.

One: a single calculated blow to the shoulder or arm to disable and stun the nerves into freezing, thereby incapacitating the attacker. This is what the Hollow imitated and used against Sakuya.

Two: the same except at a more strategic place on the body, locking half of one side of the body from moving.

Three: the deadliest that is struck to the heart or center of the chest, stopping blood flow to the heart, killing the receiver of it.

Gatotsu was Kosuke's signature move, unlike her younger sister, she wasn't as versed in Kenjutsu.

~~~To be continued~~~

A/N: sorry if it's a little confusing :( but that flashback scene will make sense later on.