For me the end came fast.
At first I didn't know what was happening to me.
I remember that I was eating a strawberry; a delicious, red, ripe strawberry. Strawberries were my guilty pleasure. I had just wrapped my tongue around it, savoring the flavor when it happened. My chest felt tight, and I couldn't get my body to respond my body. I was wracked with uncontrollable shaking. I fell out of my chair. At first it hurt quite substantially, but the crushing pain soon died down to a dull ache. I was aware that I had fallen, and that there were people crowded around me; the rest of my team. Someone was cradling my head. Someone was calling to me. I strained to open my eyes. It was Light Yagami. My mind flashed around my memories of him. He was a worthy mind, an expert tennis player, a top student, a dangerous challenger, my first ever friend, and, inevitably Kira. I imagine that his hand would have been warm behind my head, and on my arm, but I was too numb to confirm that. A drop of something wet landed on my cheek. I soon realized that he was crying. Crying? For my sake? "Ryuzaki", he called. I wanted to comfort him, I wanted to tell him that everything would be fine, but I couldn't bring the words to my parted lips. My vision blurred, and my mind slowed down. So this is what it's like to die? It feels more like a much needed sleep after a long day. I could feel myself floating. Floating away from everything I knew, everything I was. As I looked into Light's eyes for the last time, I watched his face twist into a crude smirk, and I knew. That was the last thing I thought before my eyes closed for the last time. Light was Kira. Light had murdered me
Even now it's hard for me to think on that. I tell myself that I'm glad that that was it, glad that I was right, and that I was happy because I had solved the case. After all, everyone had to die, and I'd lived a full life. I tell myself that, but deep down, I know it's not true. I don't care that I solved the case. I don't care that I was right all along, and I don't care if I lived a full life (which I didn't). I only care that he killed me, but I'll never admit that out loud. It's funny. It hurt to die, but nothing I've ever experienced could ever prepare me for the pain of having the one you trust most betray you. I know it shouldn't, after all, I was prepared for this to happen from the moment I let him in. It was something I'd never done with anyone, not even Watari. It hurts even now, and I still miss him so badly. I used to think that it wouldn't be so sad to die. I didn't have that much to leave behind. I never did, not till I met Light. He put me through strain, and danger, and fear that I had never felt before, but most of all, he gave me passion, and courage, and other feeling that I can't name. Things I'd never felt before. And if I could do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing.
I saw him once. I don't know how I did it, but suddenly he was there. It was a week after my death. He was working alone in the control room. I was slightly surprised that he was still pretending to try and catch Kira, but I suppose he was too cocky to just let it go. I guess that he felt that he still had to fool the team. He was typing something I couldn't see. His fingers dances agilely across the keyboard, but they stopped. He sat for a moment with his finger resting on the keys. The only sound in the whole room was that of his soft breath. Then his head bowed to his hands, and he closed his eyes. It was for me. Somehow I knew he had stopped for me. He was thinking about me. My body surged with warmth. And I felt better about everything that had happened. Of course, I knew it was bound to happen. I mean he was human after all, and we had had some good times together, hadn't we? At that moment I wanted to reach out, and hold him against my chest. To feel his body heat against mine; to comfort him. That was the first time.
The second time I saw him was the last. This time it was much different. We were in what appeared to be a warehouse. There were others too. I recognized Near, and a group that surrounded him, then there was Aizawa, and Mogi, and Matsuda. Light was on the floor. He was bleeding. It was painful to look at him. He had been shot multiple times, and was writhing on the floor in a pool of him own blood. So that's why I was seeing him. This was it. Light was dying. Then I was next to him. I wanted to hold him as he held me, I wanted to tell him that it wasn't so bad, but all I could do was watch. I watched as he crawled across the floor, trying desperately to get to the door, to do something. I watched as he pleaded for his Shinigami friend Ryuk to kill them, and I watched as Ryuk pulled out his Death Note and wrote Light Yagami on the next available page. Light squirmed, and begged not to die. And I was there. I stayed with him every moment. I watched as his body contorted with the impact of the heart attack. I watched him grip his chest, as tears streamed down him cheeks. And I watched as his chest heaved its final breath. And I held him, as best I could.
And I followed him into the dark.