Unmasked

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns it. I do, however, own a jar of peanut butter.
Not to mention a sand headband, a bag of marshmallows, and a Neji figure, but those don't count for much really.

This one is for you Bonnie!

Summary: Kakashi Hatake has lost something he never should have lost.

rating: 13 (Language mostly, no swearing for the most part, but some wording might fit into the age group.)

Today was no ordinary day for Kakashi Hatake. In fact today was particularly extraordinary for him. Of course not in a good way though, after all, whenever Kakashi's day differs in the slightest bit something bad happens. Something truly and utterly bad happens.

Take, for example, in his early student days while he was still under the tutelage of the future Yondaime. He goes out on a mission in the front line as the leader of a three-man cell for the first time, and Obito, his Uchiha teammate, tragically dies.

Of course for a more current example was when his genin team was sent on a mid ranged level mission instead of the ordinary grunt work they usually did. Kakashi injured himself a bit, fought Zabuza, the Demon of the Mist, and got paid barely anything… which of course he had to split with his team. Not to mention that the bridge that he worked so hard to defend was named after his student, Naruto, jerk…

Needless to say Kakashi hated it when things didn't turn out how he had planned.

Therefore today could only be described as all of his worst moments wrapped into a leaky burrito laced with explosives that he was forced to eat, through a colander, with very, very small holes. It would forever cause him deep humiliation and cost him thousands in therapy sessions.

Today was the day Kakashi "Copy Ninja" Hatake lost his mask.

Walking groggily out of his small second story apartment Kakashi covered his wide-open mouth mid yawn as he assessed his schedule for the day. In his mind he leafed through the countless files containing minor and major tasks he had planned for this particular day. And, as he double-checked to make sure he would not forget any of these all-important tasks, he couldn't help but feel something was amiss. Something that had been with him almost all his life. Something so reliable it stuck by him even in the most dangerous situations during combat. Something that had seen him naked.

In short he was missing the one thing he never should have lost.

'But what is it exactly?' the grey haired man thought to himself.

And then the answer struck him in the way only a man in a green jumpsuit could.
"Ah, my Eternal Rival! I see today you are Donning Your Youth in Hopes of Gaining Wisdom by Abandoning the Possession you Hold Most Dear to your Heart!" cried the manly voice of the one green clad ninja Kakashi had not wanted to meet so early in the morning. Or at all.

The few sparks of sane thought that had entered Kakashi's morning afflicted mind at that moment were only able to assess this situation and condense it into four words: 'Oh God, what now?'

Groaning, Kakashi sighed in annoyance and toyed with the idea of moving to a new apartment complex and not telling Gai before responding to Green Suited Wonder's jubilant outcry. Standing up a little straighter and donning his 'I am not amused' expression (Or eye really. He never needed to use his mouth as part of his array of body language.) Kakashi asked the man, "And what is this exactly that I have forsaken today Gai?"

Gai, completely oblivious to what Kakashi had just asked continued his greeting/declaration speech somehow managed to supply an answer, "And just as you have left your mask in Order to Better Yourself in Mind and Will Power, I too will Join Your Pursuit and Shed myself of my most dear article of clothing as well!"

Kakashi didn't enjoy where this conversation was going, and before leaving Kakashi hurriedly replied to Gai speaking in terms he could understand, "Thank you for umm… informing me of your, erm, challenge to my challenge. I'm afraid, however, that I must go and, er, 'better' my mind and willpower with my team. I'll be going now. 'Till next time Gai!"

Gai, in the middle of stripping himself of his dearest article, called out, "Yes, I too shall do the same. Good luck to you my Eternal Rival!"

And precisely at this time Hyuuga Neji got the notion that if there was ever a time to commit suicide that time was now.

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As he dashed to the usual meeting area for his team at cenotaph Kakashi's mind was awake and buzzing with thoughts as to where his mask would be. The copy ninja was known by his masked face and without it his fellow shinobi of the village would surely jeer at his awkward tan-lines not to mention the feature that made him cover his face in the first place. 'No,' Kakashi thought, 'I must find something to cover my lower face until I am reunited with my mask.'

This mask substitute just so happened to be his new Make-Out Paradise novel, which he held against his face in a way so that now he really did have his nose in a good book.

In the battlefield one of many decisive factors as to whether or not you win a battle is whether or not both of your hands are free to attack or block an opponent. Because Kakashi was now using one of his much needed hands to hold up his 'mask' his initial combat instincts put him on edge making him feel nervous and jumpy… not to mention embarrassed. After all, if any of his students were able to gain the upper hand while he was distracted with the thoughts of protecting he pale naked lower face the results would be humiliating… for him anyways.

And through all the confusion that accompanied his suddenly naked face Kakashi had forgotten yet another extremely important task. But Obito would have laughed as well if he saw Kakashi in his current state, though Obito was technically dead and had been dead for a couple years now and couldn't laugh if he tried, so it was all for the best really. Today harbored another first in his life.

Hatake Kakashi was early.

Team seven had just put on their 'another five hours of waiting for Kakashi Sensei to arrive' faces, when Kakashi appeared in a cautious poof.

Expressions of horror and surprise were slapped onto most of the faces of his team. Sasuke was twitching ever so slightly, but enough that Kakashi could tell. Sakura appeared to have been knocked somewhat senseless by his timely arrival. Naruto, well, Kakashi wasn't sure why, but the boy seemed pleased.

Kakashi stood before them in the lingering smoke, (Most of which was covering his face if you hadn't already guessed.) puzzled. He looked a Naruto in obvious contempt and calmly asked the young blonde boy, "Yes, I'm early. Now stop grinning and pay attention, if you remember we do have some D-rank missions scheduled today."

Except for the occasional snickers that came out of Naruto everything was stark silent in anticipation. The jounin could read what was probably on their minds at that moment; they were all wondering where his mask was.

And then the silence broke like a brick thrown at a window, a window made of sugar glass if we actually want to get technical about it, but anyways let's move on.

"Hey Kakashi Sensei! Why'd ya leave you mask behind?" blurted out Naruto, completely disregarding Kakashi's aforementioned statement.

Kakashi sighed, partly because of annoyance at Naruto for asking his question, and partly because his poof's smoke was dissipating at an alarming rate. He responded in his usual calm cool demeanor, "I'm getting it cleaned today Naruto, isn't it obvious."

Naruto, obviously in on Kakashi's secret sneered, "You lost it didn't you! You're even more a loser than Sasuke, believe it!"

Sasuke shot a death glare at Naruto before speaking himself, "Shut up loser, you're the one who probably stole it in the first place!"

"Nuh-uh, I wasn't the one who lost the bet remember? It was…" realizing that Kakashi was listening to every word that passed through his overworked mouth the blond boy's voice unceremoniously trailed off.

Sakura was very adept at tuning out the two feuding males and kindly asked Kakashi, "So, uhm, Sensei, maybe you should post a mission and get someone to help you find it?"

Kakashi groaned, "Because missions cost money, and money is something that I severely lack at the moment Sakura."

The pink haired kunoichi narrowed her eyes perceptively at the rather crisp novel in her sensei's hand, "Lemme guess, you bought that book your holding there. New hard cover right?"

"Sakura, I would recommend practicing your shinobi silence before I tell Naruto about 'It.'" Kakashi replied harshly.

The young girl was instantly quiet at that, but Naruto and Sasuke had somehow gotten into a fistfight over what was most likely nothing of Kakashi's particular interest at that moment. Actually Kakashi's mask was what was taking up the grey haired sensei's interest currently and because of this he announced to his team, "Today's mission you will all de-weed my garden."

"Garden?" Naruto asked quizzically.

"Yes, Garden. Here is a map as to its location. You will follow it, you will de-weed at said location, and you will not get paid." Kakashi said before handing Sakura the map before poofing off in search of his mask.

That left Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura staring at each other in wonder.

Naruto broke the silence by snorting, "Wow, a Garden. Kakashi-sensei must be gay."

At that Sakura, who had been studying the map before rolling it back up, and angrily socking Naruto, "Naruto, don't look a gift horse in the mouth!"

"Let's just get it over with, pay or no pay. It's going to be an easy mission anyways." Sasuke muttered before grabbing the map and heading for the garden. Naruto and Sakura followed soon after.

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Kakashi had since decided that the only way of finding his mask would mean enlisting the help of his most sane and reasonable friend. Unfortunately, Kakashi didn't particularly have that many friends, well, living friends anyways. Sure, there was Gai, but that wasn't quite friendship. Actually he wasn't quite sure what that was. And most of the Jounin he knew were acquaintances.

The grey haired jounin groaned, "I really should get out more often." Right now he was sitting by the memorial monument in hope that his deceased friend would help. Unfortunately Obito was too busy being well… dead, to help.

Kakashi quickly thought over his options and could only come up with three some-what trustworthy people he could turn to in his time of need. First, was Asuma, who's only fault was that if he knew your secret he would black-mail you into buying his cigarettes. (He'd been getting free packs off of his friends for years now.) Second, which he instantly rejected, was Kurenai. Sure, she looked innocent, but she was a woman, which in Kakashi's mind instantly dubbed her as untrustworthy. (Wouldn't want her to gossip with the other kunoichi after all?) So the only person left he could count on was Iruka sensei, of whom he had only talked to fleetingly. Iruka was so innocent somehow in his manner of speaking that it was surprising that he even made it to the chuunin rankings. If Kakashi told him to keep a secret Iruka would probably keep it with his life, after all he was a nice guy…

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Kakashi found the young sensei at the academy. Class had just ended half an hour ago and Iruka was still writing down student scores in the grade-book.

"I was wondering when you'd come to see me about your mask Kakashi." was Iruka's greeting to the mask-less jounin as he approached Iruka.

Kakashi, leaning casually against the classroom wall curiously replied, "So you knew about my mask already?"

Iruka scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, "Well, yes. You see I had confiscated it from Konohamaru this morning in class. He was flaunting it about saying it was a, er, thong." He quickly pulled the mask out of a desk drawer and handed the cherished article back to Kakashi, who quickly put it back on.

"Thank you Iruka sensei, I'll have to make it up to you somehow!" Kakashi said cheerfully before he left the classroom.

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"This is a load of bull crap" Naruto scoffed in disgust as he surveyed the sprawling field in front of him, "I don't see a stupid garden anywhere."

Sasuke sighed, "Sensei really likes to push our buttons doesn't he."

"Maybe the garden is somewhere in the field. The grass is tall enough to conceal something…" Sakura said, obviously puzzled.

"Your close, but no cigar." replied a familiar voice from behind.

"Kakashi sensei!" the three students cried out in unison.

Naruto, pointing out the obvious, exclaimed, "And he got his mask back!"

"Yes," Kakashi said looking curiously at his students, who definitely not following his orders, "and I see you haven't started the task I gave you."

Sakura responded, clearly annoyed, "Well we couldn't find your garden anywhere!"

"Yeah, what's the big idea faking us out like that sensei!" Naruto vented.

Kakashi looked at his students with a bemused expression, "Oh you didn't know? This whole plot of land is my garden. I earned it in a mission long ago, and decided to plant a few shrubs, but it seems they died when all these wild grasses took over. I just need this grass pulled so I can start my garden anew."

Blank expressions occupied the faces of his students. Clearly they weren't as amused by the task as their sensei.

"Any ways, I suggest you should start now, it will be a long night of work after all. Besides, I think I need some 'me' time. Buh-bye!" Kakashi said before heading home.

Naruto scowled and muttered to himself before creating a bakers dozen of shadow clones, "I'll get him for this, count on it."

FIN

Author's notes:

Wow, six whole pages of raw oneshot. I'm impressed with myself. The beginning was great, a real eye catcher when I wrote it, the only problem is that my ending was kind of … meh. (I plan on rewriting the ending at some point in the future.) Not my first fan-fic, just the only one worth posting.

Oh yes, many thanks to my sister, and awesome writer, Bakageta (On She was mucho help with the 'Gai-alogue'.

Constructive criticism would be lovely, but be a bit gentle. ox;; I'm not the greatest writer and I know it, so just don't criticize in a mean way.