Ok so I have seen a bunch of these parody chat room thingys, some I have read have been hilarious. So I decided to do one because I have done so much funny stuff myself. This will include the main characters of twilight and maybe some random people. So enjoy the awesome randomness.
Ok so I need to know how I am doing so I can continue this so leave me something nice and cute.... 3
Bella signed on
Edward signed on
Emmett signed on
Rosalie signed on
Emmett: Hey guys what's up?
Edward: obviously you have to be the upbeat one. *Rolls eyes*
Bella: Oh Eddie lumps don't be so mean to your brother.
Emmett: You actually let her call you Eddie lumps? *shakes head*
Rosalie: Oh Emmie Wemmie why can't you just leave Eddie lumps alone.
*flashes sparkly white teeth*
Emmett: because it is funny to bother Eddie lumps. Lol.
Renesmee signed on
Emmett: everybody quiet the baby is on.
Renesmee: I have you know I am 7 years old Mr. Emmie Wemmie.
Edward: lol. Anyhow now we have to censor the chat. Parental controls my love.
Bella: Oh Eddie she needs to learn we can't shelter her forever.
Emmett: duckity... duck... duck... duck *grins*
Rosalie: WTH? Was that? *raises eyebrow*
Emmett: Eddie lumps said we have to censor the chat so I did.
Renesmee: you know what I am going to find Jacob he doesn't shelter anything from me *sticks out tongue*
Edward: NOOO! Young lady you are grounded now.
Renesmee: you can't ground what is dead. Making me ungroundable.
Emmett: she has a point there Eddie lumps.
Edward: STOP CALLING ME EDDIE LUMPS! *growls*
Emmett: Bella started it. *Points finger at computer screen*
Bella: oh right blame me. I was only trying to make my husband happy. *Winks at Edward*
Edward: don't worry love you already make me happy. *Blows kiss to Bella*
Renesmee: I think I am going to be sick.
Renesmee signed off
Emmett: phew now we can go back to being uncensored. Now take your top of Rosalie. *pulls shirt off*
Edward: Emmett please put your shirt back on.
Bella: I thought this meant the chat was uncensored? *looks confused* =/
Emmett: told ya now Bella take your top off. *Grins widely*
Bella: NO!
Rosalie: this is getting a little too crazy for me. I am going to go brush my hair. You are joining me. *points at Emmett*
Emmett: oh come on I want to have fun. *frowns*
Rosalie: if you don't you can forget about getting some. *sounded so serious scared the cows and the chickens*
Emmett: fine *frowns*
Emmett signed off
Rosalie signed off
Edward: so it is just you and me my love. ^_^
Bella: I love you =*
Edward: I love you more =*
Bella: I love you more…more =*
Edward: I love you more more…more [Kiss]
Alice signed on
Jasper signed on
Bella: I love you more more…more…more [Kiss]
Alice:*screams* ah we caught them in the middle of a I love you war
Jasper: I sure feel the love right now ^_^
Alice: I love you Jasper
Jasper: I love you Alice
Alice: ah it is contagious *screams*
Edward: I love you more more…more…more…more [Kiss]
Alice: snap out of it
Bella: *_* I love you Edward
Edward: *_* I love you Bella
Alice: stop it now *yells*
Edward: sorry Alice *frowns*
Jacob signed on with Renesmee
Edward: what is my daughter doing at your house? Renesmee you are grounded.
Jacob: *looks at Renesmee* you didn't tell me you were grounded Nessie
Renesmee: oh please that's why I told you to log on to the wolf chat
room but no you wanted to know what the vampires were doing. *moves hands around adding effect*
Edward: Renesmee I want you home now!
Emmett signed on
Emmett: so who took their top off? What did I miss?
Edward: no one took their top off *pinches bridge of his nose*
Emmett: *shrieks* I thought she had logged off *Points at Renesmee* now we have to censor that chat again
Renesmee: I told you I am not a baby *Pouts and crosses arms*
Jasper: are you being serious? You just made yourself look like a baby.
Alice: oh Jasper kids will be kids. : )
Jacob: Nessie is far from a kid *-*
Edward: stop thinking such things about my daughter mutt! Renesmee come home now
Rosalie signed on
Emmett: eep
Emmett signed off
Rosalie: Ugh
Rosalie signed off
Jacob: what was that about?
Bella: you don't want to know [shakes head]
Alice: I am out of here. Let's go shopping Jasper.
Jasper: ok my love.
Alice signed out
Jasper signed out
Jacob: umm yea awkward. I have to go fix some stuff bye.
Edward: Renesmee home! Now!
Jacob signed out
Edward: that daughter of mine [shakes head]
Bella: well I love you Eddie lumps [Blows Kiss]
PART 2:
Jacob signed on
Renesmee signed on
Jacob: Hey honey ^_^
Renesmee: we can't be more uncensored daddy put a parental block on my computer, figures the man is horrible [Pouts]
Jacob: it is ok we can just meet up later to *****#%%^*{%#*{^%].?€{
Renesmee: what the hell? I think you have a virus.
Jacob: no your computer is blocking all the {*}]^{*€}%*€€|*{*}%^*{*}^}€^} I am typing to you.
Renesmee: What? This makes no sense.
Jacob:%{£!}€}£}*{*%{^{**}}^€£}^*}^^{¥¥++*+^}?*{?{*|€{€
Renesmee: ok we will talk later ok bye.
Renesmee signed off
Edward: that serves you right mutt for messing with my daughter.
[Growls]
Jacob: eep
Jacob signed off
Bella signed on
Emmett signed on
Emmett: howz it
Bella: Emmett seriously! Edward Renesmee is really upset because of the parental control you put on her computer.
Edward: serves her right.
Emmett: Oh so Eddie lumps put a parental block on princess annoying computer?
Bella: yea and she has been really upset. [Growls at Edward]
Edward: She needs to learn not to disobey me, did you know Jacob has been trying to do things with her. I am going to rip his body parts limb by limb. [Scowls]
Bella: Calm down Edward!
Alice Signed on
Alice: stop thinking what you are thinking. Every time you think something you disappear and it is because you are trying to kill Jacob huh! I wanted to go shopping but I can't because you keep disappearing. Ugh.
Carlisle signed on
Carlisle: Son please you are making Renesmee very upset she ran to my office. She said you are going to kill Jacob.
Edward: I am not going to kill him [chuckles like a maniac] I am just going to castrate him. Solves all the problems we may have.
Bella: Edward!
Emmett: This time I am on Eddie lumps side.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Will Edward kill Jacob?
Well Review and let me know how I am doing. I have some funny ideas for this.