Chapter One: In Which Megami is Bored and Decides to Do Something About It
Author's Notes: Heyla! Welcome to The Flying Rat's first attempt at a halfway decent story. Note the word 'attempt' used in that sentence. I know some of you have probably seen this story up before—I know someone reviewed it too—and are probably thinking: Er? Uh, why are they publishing this thing three times? To make a long story short, our italics and weren't working and I refused to put it up until they did. So here ya go. Many apologies to all.
Disclaimer: Neither Julie or Krissy owns Skan, Elden, or any other trademark characters of the Valdemar Series. Megami, however, does belong to them. If you steal her for your own story, Krissy will come and whack you with her Mallet of Doom. Oh. Yes. Krissy and Julie also do not own the lyrics to 'Where the Nuts hunt the Squirrels'. Even though they wish they did.
* * *
Hi. I'm Megami, the daughter of the Star Eyed and Vkandis. Yeah, I know you probably didn't know they were together, and they're not any more. They used to be really in love and all that, but it just didn't work out. The whole sun vs. stars, day vs. night thing sort of got in the way. He wants it to be bright, she wants it dark, and so on. Mother doesn't see how Father can stand being worshiped by those stiff-necked Karsites, and Father thinks Mother should help her normal Shin'a'in more. I mean, you'd think that since the sun is just another star, they could deal with it. But nooo, they have to harp on the day/night thing. So anyway, they got a daughter out of it, who just happens to be me. I get in trouble a lot. It's not my fault though, I'm only fifteen million years old, and I don't know any better! Okay, so I'm fifteen million, six hundred thirty nine thousand seven hundred fifty eight, but really, who's counting? Besides, I've got all this great magic, and I don't know half of what I can do with it yet!
So anyway, I was watching life in the "human" world through the Scry-Pool in my room. It was getting kind of boring though. I mean, you can only watch things so many times before it gets old. On this particular day, I was watching the war between Urtho and Ma'ar. I'd already watched it about a bazillion times, but nothing interesting was going on in the present, and I was bored. So I was watching one of the Black gryphon's many heroic missions, when I had a thought. Now for me, this was not an event to get excited about. In fact, it was a fairly common event. The thing was, this was a thought that could lift the boredom, at least for a while. And it wouldn't take much to turn my thought into a reality. Just a few twitches in the time/space continuum was all it would take. So I scanned through my Pool, to find the perfect time and place to put my thought.
Maybe I should explain. I usually refer to my ideas like this, but I s'pose this time I might want to explain my idea. See, I thought, what if the Black Gryphon were to come back, at some date soon enough after he lived that people still remembered him, but long enough that he would be completely perfect in every way? Lots of fun to watch! And what if not only the Skan in his prime came back, but also the Skan just after the Haighlei incident, and a Skan who was too old to do much but sit around complaining? Even more fun!
So I found a place to bring the Skans--a place called Valdemar, which happened to be suffering from the after-effects of an almost Cataclysm repeat that I really didn't mean to cause. (I really didn't I swear! These things just happen to me...) This country also happened to have two Gryphons, who just happened to be Skan worshipers at Haven, their capital. More and more fun! But which Skan to bring to the future first? If I brought the wrong Skan first, the effect could be ruined! After some thought, I decided that the youngest Skan should come first. If I could get him at the right time, he could make a very impressive entrance. I watched in Skan's time until he was acting his most impressive, about to attack some makkar. Just as he let loose a war scream, I Twisted. Skan, leaping from a rock prepared to try to rip makkar limb from limb, instead found himself facing a group of noble children - who, needless to say, ran screaming. Skan quickly ceased his scream, and landed. Just as the Herald one of the children had run into who had been able to translate the child's incoherent babbling arrived.
* * *
Skandranon Rashkae was very upset. Not to mention confused. He had been about to make yet another heroic kill, when he found he was leaping at not a pair of makkar, but a group of young humans. He had immediately back winged to a halt and landed, but now a rather annoyed looking adult in a white uniform was coming towards him. Now, Skan was not in a good mood, and was quite ready to argue with someone. What he wasn't prepared for was the stream of babble that spouted from the man's mouth. Sketi. I must have somehow gotten Gated to another country. That means I'll somehow have to find a Mage to Gate me back without speaking a word of their language. He thought.
"Listen, if you recognize my language, either answer me, or find someone else who can." Skan told the man. The man looked startled, then thoughtful. This will be so much easier if at least one of these people speaks my language. He thought. Instead of speaking though, the man Mindspoke Skan.
:Do you Mindspeak?: He asked.
:Who are you? Where am I? What happened?: Skan demanded. Before the man could answer, however, another gryphon appeared, without a Gate, and with no warning at all. The new gryphon appeared to be about thirteen years older than Skan, was the same type as Skan was, though a bit less lean, and was just as black as Skan was.
"Who the hell are you?" The new gryphon demanded Skan.
:Who the hell is that?: The man demanded at the same time. :For that matter, who are you? How did you get here? Why were you attacking those kids?:
:I'm Skandranon Rashkae. Who the hell are you?: Skan Mindspoke both of them, hoping the other Gryphon could Mindspeak.
:I am Herald Elden, a Herald of Valdemar. What the hell are you doing here?: The man said. At the same time, the other Gryphon was Mindspeaking.
:You little imposter! I'm Skandranon! How dare you impersonate me? Now who the hell are you? Why, even at your age I wouldn't have dared to impersonate someone ten times greater than I could ever hope to be! Not that there were any Gryphons better then me, but the principle is there. Where the hell is Valdemar?:
:Why would I want to impersonate myself? I'm the one and only Skan, and you're a senile old geezer! How the hell should I know where Valdemar is?:
:ME, a senile old geezer?! How dare you? You want a geezer, that's a geezer!: the other Gryphon gestured towards another new Gryphon, as black as the other two, but much older and almost fat.
:Are you calling me a geezer? How dare you? Do you know who I am? This is the great Skandranon Rashkae you're calling a geezer!: The newest Gryphon Mindspoke all of them. :Why, in my prime I killed twenty makkar in one go on a regular basis!:
:I'm Skandranon Rashkae, and I killed thirty every day!: The other Gryphon declared. Skan, not to be outdone by a couple of senile old geezers, added his part.
:I'm the real Skandranon Rashkae, and I kill fifty makkar every day before breakfast! You two are a couple of senile old geezers who don't know what you're talking about. And if you killed so many makkar, why are you still here? I've never seen a Gryphon who actually did everything he boasted about reach as old as you two!:
:You ignorant young fool!: The oldest shouted. :I was the one who killed Ma'ar at the end of the War with the box Urtho gave me! Of course I'm still alive, I had to rescue Kechara!:
:What do you mean you killed Ma'ar?! Urtho gave me that box, and it was me who rescued Aubri and Kechara!: The middle retorted.
:End of the war? What are you fools talking about? The war is still going strong, with no end in sight! And who the hell are Aubri and Kechara?:
* * *
This was going even better then I thought it would! I almost burst out laughing, but refrained myself just in time. You could never know when Mother is listening in. But if she wasn't paying attention to the right time or place, this could go on for quite some time. I watched the Skans argue for a while longer, until they finally figured out that they all really were Skan. Then they noticed that the Herald was still there, and started pounding him with questions about where and when they were, how they had gotten there, and what was going on. Unfortunately, I couldn't watch much of this, because soon after they started, Mother came into my room. Boy, did she look mad.
"Megami, what have I told you, time and time again about playing with the time space continuum? And what rule have you ignored once again about interfering with peoples lives that don't need interfering with? Megami, you are fifteen, I think it's time you showed a little more maturity! I'm taking away your Pool for a thousand years!"
"But mom, if you don't let me do anything, I'll just want to do it more," I whined. "Not my Pool, mom! Please? I swear I'll never mess with time again! Pleeeease mom?"
"Keep whining about it, and I'll take it away for two thousand. And don't bother going to your father. He and I agree on this one." Mother said in a tone that would accept no argument. Phooey. Oh, well. Back to boredom I guess...
* * *
Skan felt very confused. Which was to be expected. When one finds out that three of himself have been transported through time to a place they didn't even know existed, one gets confused. Not to mention that he had just found out that he ended the war by dropping a 'box' on Ma'ar. Although he failed to see how a wooden box would do much good against the most evil Mage to ever live. Well, maybe if it knocked him out so Skan could rip him to shreds.... Or something.
:Skandranon?: Herald Elden asked, jerking Skan out of his muddled thoughts.
:What?: All three Gryphons replied simultaneously, and then promptly glared at each other.
:Oh gods. This is going to be so much fun.: the oldest Skan remarked sarcastically.
:Be quiet. That Herald guy is asking us something again.: snapped the middle Skan, looking faintly annoyed.
:--know Urtho?: Finished Elden, looking at the Skans expectantly.
:Of course--: Began the oldest Skan,
:--we did, he did create us after all,: The middle Skan picked up,
:so how could we not know him?: Finished the youngest Skan, just before he realized what they had done.
:Okay,: Herald Elden commented after a long silence :Am I the only one who thought that was really creepy?:
None of the Skans replied. They all appeared to be in some sort of state of shock.
* * *
Elden felt tired. He had just finished trying to convince Kerowyn that sleep really was necessary, and she didn't need to be awake every minute of the day, and was about to go take a bath....
When a kid came running out of nowhere, screaming bloody murder. He had finally gotten from the kid's babbling that a giant black monster had appeared in midair, and attacked them. So Elden went to deal with this "monster"-- which he expected to be an older kid or two playing tricks -- and had found himself faced with a Gryphon. Fortunately, he had seen Treyven and Hydona enough that he recognized it for what it was. He had started spouting the usual stream of babble -- who was the Gryphon, where had it come from, what was it doing here, and so on -- when the Gryphon started a babble of its own. In a different language. Elden hadn't thought of the fact that the Gryphon didn't speak Valdemaran, and was slightly startled. Then he remembered something Treyven had said about some Gryphons having Mindspeach, so he decided to try it. The Gryphon did Mindspeak, but as soon as he had, another Gryphon appeared. This one also Mindspoke, but evidently thought it was the same Gryphon as the first one. And as if this wasn't confusing enough, another Gryphon appeared, who insisted that it was the same Gryphon as the first two. Elden's head hurt. Evidently this -- these? -- was the Skandranon that Treyven practically worshiped. Elden was just as glad Treyven wasn't here at the moment. So the Skandranons had eventually convinced each other that they really were all Skandranon, and had started pounding Elden with questions about Valdemar. Elden really had no idea what to do with these people, but decided he had to do something, before they terrorized anyone. From what they had acted like so far, they would probably think people's reactions to them would be hilarious.
:Um, Skandranons?: he Mindspoke them
:Yes?: The Gryphons replied.
:You may want to explain yourselves to a few people. The Queen already knows, of course, but some things are much more, ah, convincing in person. Besides, if you don't, rumors are likely to spread that thirty thousand evil demons are attacking, and some would-be heroes will try to make things difficult for you.: There, at least that would make them someone else's problem.
:Okay, I suppose we can do that,: said the oldest Skan.
:But only because explaining who we are and why we had to kill a few young fools would be much more complicated.: finished the middle one.
:But how does the Queen kno -- ohhh, right, the Companions!: The Skandranons said.
* * *
One hundred million three thousand and two...
Lazily, I lounged across one of the couches in my room, trying to count all the people in the world before the damn things reproduced again.
Shit.
Dammit. Population surge. I gave up, and instead started singing some weird song a couple Imagination-sprites taught me once. I had been rather fond of those two; they had brightened up the little time they had spent here considerably.
"I live in a place where the nuts hunt the squirrels, in a place where the nuts hunt the squirrels, haha...It's a beautiful spot where I don't think a lot, and mostly I don't think of girls like you, hoo-ha, I don't think of girls like YOU!"
"MEGAMI! STOP THAT INFERNAL RACKET!" Mother yelled, and I resisted the urge to stick out my tongue.
"Yeah yeah yeah..." I sighed, wishing Mother wasn't in such a bad mood. She was usually a lot more lenient then this.
"Really Megami, I expect better of you then this," Mother stalked into the room, hands on her hips. I noticed she was in Warrior form; never a good sign. Personally, I liked it best when she as in Mother mode. When Mother was Mother (AN: a HA, a HA, a HA! Krissy puns....) she was usually sweet and pleasant. Warrior was aloof and a stickler for rules, which meant more chores and 'training' exercises -- a.k.a torture sessions -- for me to do. Yay.
"I leave you alone for a few years, and I find you shifting time and space, and creating enough noise to fill Middle Earth! You need to be more responsible dear, and take some time to think about what might happen. That is our job as Gods, after all."
Mother continued to yak on about 'My Responsibilities' for a while, but I just faded out for a bit and stopped listening. When I came back down from my daydreams, Mother was just finishing up, so I nodded vigorously and tried to look appropriately humble. It seemed to work, because she turned around with the satisfied expression of an adult who thinks they've just put you in your place. Yeah. Right
"And I hope you understand why I took you Scry-Pool away now dear." she called over her shoulder. "Playing with time simply isn't acceptable, even if you fixed it afterwards, and even if it was only minor. Besides, you won't be that bored. You still have the sprites to play with." She walked -- no strode out of the room. Mother was feeling confident, and with good reason. After all, she had just made her daughter listen to her. If she could do that, she could do anything.
"Sprites. Uh...yeah." I barely registered Mother's last sentences. I was still caught up with 'Even if you fixed it...even if it was minor...' because a) I hadn't fixed it and b) Mother hardly considered time travel minor.
Crap. Crap, crap, crappitycrappitycrappitycrap.
Oh. My. Mortal. I had totally forgotten about the Skans! Now they were stuck about three thousand years in the future, with absolutely no idea how or why they had gotten there. And, worst of all, Mother thought I had fixed whatever I'd been doing. No point in going to her for help. She probably had just felt the time/space continuum flux slightly, and had suspected me of doing it. Great. Just great. Now I had to fix this mess all by myself, without my Scry-Pool.
What I wanted to do was sit down and moan, but that wouldn't fix anything. Instead, I sat down, rolled up my sleeves, and held my hands up in the air. Since I wasn't exactly used to doing things without my Scry-Pool, this would definitely be an adventure. I had problems doing things with incantations; visualizing what you want is so much easier. With incantations, you had to find the right Words of Power to do want you want, and some Words don't always work the way you think they will. For instance, if you want to make it rain, just using the Word for rain won't work. The Words are very general in nature; there isn't actually a word for 'rain', and using the Word for water will just make it dump. Rather like someone dropping a bucket of water on you. Instead, you have to something like 'Small Water Drop on the Land'. And each word is complicated, with weird stresses and pronunciations. If you don't stress the right place, you might end up saying something entirely different then what you want. See why I was nervous?
I cleared my throat, as my outstretched hands began to glow with a soft blue light. I needed the Skans back, and I needed them back now. I decided to try something along the lines of 'Wash Away Memories' and 'Return Home'
"Hliihani'maniti cortwithased numned..."
* * *
Skandranon stared in amazement as a small hertasi scurried past him, head bowed in submission. Maybe it wasn't a hertasi after all. If Gesten had caught him staring like that, he would have gotten an ear-ringing lecture about being polite. Curious, he poked the Herald guy a few times, trying to get his attention.
"AAAAUGGGHHH!" The Herald-man jumped a good two feet into the air, screaming like those prissy kids had before. Skan blinked, slightly amused. Do all humans from this time do that? he wondered, grinning like a fiend. This could be fun!
"Yu geluumphing houwrse, yu ar mai wurld, mai lyph luung soruce!" The Herald shouted, turning purple.
:What?: Asked Skan, rather confused.
"Duh!" The Herald slapped his forehead, and then pounded it repeatedly with his fist. Skan nodded, trying to look like he understood. When dealing with crazy people, he thought, just nod and agree. Nod and agree.
:Sorry,: the Herald said. :You surprised me. What did you want?:
:Is that a hertasi? Why is it so timid? Shouldn't it be more, well, outspoken and bossy? What's wrong with it?: Skan asked.
:Why should it be bossy? These are the hertasi that came with the Tayeldras envoy. I think the ones with the people from White Gryphon were more outspoken, though.:
:White Gryphon? Isn't that where the other mes are from? They would have proper hertasi.: Skan said, just as the middle Skan landed next to him.
:Of course we have proper hertasi. Why wouldn't we have proper hertasi? This place is a lot bigger than I thought it would be, you know that? Go take a look. Better go soon though, it looks like it's going to rain.: The Skan said. Skan looked up, and agreed. It didn't look like it would rain very hard, though. The clouds weren't dark enough. Rain would make it rather hard to fly, though.
:Yeah, sure, I'll go flying.: Skan said. This was kind of boring anyway. Flying wouldn't be much better though, not without arrows and whatnot to dodge. On the other hand, it might be nice to fly without having to worry about getting yourself killed. :Lets go now.: Both Skans took off, although the elder had to work harder to get into the air, which the younger Skan noted a bit smugly. At least I'm in better shape than that old geezer! Although I am thirteen years younger. . . he thought. As they flew above the city, Skan was happy to discover that his mage skills still worked in this time. He doubted the Herald-man would have been pleased if people came to him with reports of 'flying monsters'. Yes, invisible was the way to go.
:Huuuuuuuuuuuuungry...: wailed the other Skan. What a wimp. Skan had barely even got warmed up and the other Skan was whining at him to stop and eat.
:But we just started! Besides, there aren't any good places to get food here, it's a city.: At least that would get Skan a little more flying time before he had to stop for the Geezer, as he was starting to think of the older of the two Skans there. :I suppose we can go to the nearest forest and catch something to eat, though.:
Skan thought he'd seen some woods over to the West of the city, so he suggested they go that way. They both figured it might not be a good thing if large game started a sudden population decrease, so they made a fair meal (plus a snack for the younger Skan) out of various small game animals.
:Mph, delicious. Quite forgot, mph, how good animals in colder climates, mph, could be.: The Geezer said.
:Delicious or not, we'd better get our rumps in the air soon if we don't want to be caught in the rain.: Skan warned.
:I suppose we should get back,: the Geezer said with a sigh. Skan looked at the sky. They might already be to late to get all the way to the palace before it started raining. In fact, he felt something wet drop on his back. He had hoped... But still, he would just have to wait out the rain.
:What is that?: the Geezer demanded loudly. Skan jumped and looked up. It wasn't raining. Or rather it was raining, but it wasn't water that was falling from the sky. It was --
:Noodles. It's raining noodles. I think I'm going crazy.: Skan said dazedly. :Maybe we should go home now.:
:We can't go to the palace,: the Geezer said reasonably. :It's raining. You know we can't fly in the rain.:
:It's not raining, this is noodles!: Skan was starting to get hysteric. This just wasn't possible. It didn't rain noodles. It just didn't. It couldn't. Water fell from the sky, noodles stayed in bowls, or whatever. The noodles, apparently, had other ideas about where they should be. Apparently, they thought they should fall from the sky. Instead of rain.
:It's falling from the sky, it's close enough to rain that I'm not flying home in it. You can do what you choose, but I'm staying right here until it stops raining. Or noodling. Or whatever.: the Geezer said calmly.
:Okay! Fine, we'll stay here, but this is absolutely not possible! This can't be happening. We must be dreaming or something.: Skan informed him.
:Guess what, genius, it's happening.: the Geezer said sarcastically. :And I rather doubt we're dreaming.:
Ooookay, Skan, let's just deal with this like the perfectly sensible Gryphon you are. Stupid, insane, vain bird. There's got to be a rational explanation for this. Skan thought. Not that he really believed it, but still.
:Maybe we should start walking toward the city,: Skan suggested. :At least we'd be doing something, and not standing around marveling at the sheer impossibility of this. Noodles. Why the HECK should it be raining noodles?:
:I rather doubt you want to walk very far. You have all the wrong muscles for it. And I should know; I had to walk a lot when we were going to White Gryphon. It's not very enjoyable after a little while.: The Geezer seemed to be taking all of this far too calmly for Skan. He could at least yell, or jump around screaming, or something!
:What do you propose we do if you don't want to walk? I don't want to stand around here! My feathers are getting noodley. Is that a word? Noodley?:
:I never said I didn't want to walk, I said I doubt you really want to. But if you insist, we can go. Until you want to stop, that is.: The Geezer was getting rather annoying with his "you can't walk but I can" attitude. San was in better shape than that old geezer. Who was he to go saying that Skan couldn't walk far?
:Let's go.: Skan said shortly.
:If you insist,: the Geezer said as they started off.
* * *
Well peeps, that's it for now! The second chapter should be coming out some time next week. Till then, have a nice cup of puddin'everybody!