FOR SPARXYU, NO WORRIES SOMEONE BETTER'LL COME ALONG, CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT. AFTER ALL HAPPY ENDINGS ARE A MUST. =D
It has been six months since I'd seen him. But it was for the best, especially considering I was currently standing in the church, wearing a tux and preparing myself to get married. The girl, her names Scarlett, you probably don't know her. I don't love her, not like that. She's more a sister to me, we've grown close… but my heart wasn't mine to give away. I have no control over who I love. Wow, I sound like a cheesy romance movie, it must be the nerves making me do it. How did I end up here in the first place? Before I could stop myself my thoughts went back to before this whole thing started.
The Kira case had been closed. They'd kept it open for longer than was necessary. The killings had stopped, for some reason the book had ran out of pages, I think someone or something up above had interfered. But that was okay, yes I hadn't gotten all the criminals in the world but I did get a lot of the more dangerous ones.
After a year of no more killings they'd had to call it quits and close the case, having to cope with the crushing disappointment of not catching the killer, though they were relieved it was finally over. Instead of moving on to another case L had taken a leave of absence, deciding to stay for awhile though he wouldn't give a solid reason to why. Except that he needed a holiday.
Since he didn't know very many people I volunteered to take him around the city. Well my father offered my time. But I didn't really mind, I didn't have anything better to do. I'd already taken my exams after all.
We went to the malls, I took him to the amusement parks and we even went to some of the museums. I wasn't sure where he's want to go since I didn't really know him but he seemed to enjoy the places I took him but I was quickly running out of ideas, so I'd asked him. And his answer shocked me.
I was dressed to impress. Tonight I was going out clubbing with L. Just as he'd asked. He'd never been before and wanted to try it. I couldn't say no… especially when he turned those big soulful eyes on me, there goes the sappy romance again! I have to stop that. But he does have beautiful eyes and they were what ultimately convinced me to agree.
Meeting him outside a café we'd had lunch in yesterday, I was flabbergasted by how good he looked. Slowly, my eyes trailed down from his face, over his chest, all the way to his shoes and back up again.
"Am I dressed okay?" the question sounded innocent enough but when my eyes snapped up to his face his quirked eyebrow and the slight smirk told me otherwise.
"I suppose it'll do," I croaked out, aware of how dry my mouth had suddenly gone. "Let's go."
I took him to one of the most popular clubs, which was already crowded when we got there. Pushing our way to the bar we got our drinks and scanned the room. Nobody of great interest caught my eyes, I'd just need to dance with one of the plain people camped out at the bar, hugging their beer.
"Light," his voice made me turn and I took a small step back without even meaning to, he was just so close! I hadn't expected it. "Come dance." Although it was supposed to be a question it came our more of an order.
"I don't…" I couldn't seem to get the words out. How did I tell him that I didn't dance with guys? But then why did I want so bad to say yes? Wait…was he gay? I'd never gotten that vibe, never really considered it but if he was…
My musing was brought to an abrupt halt as his body was pressed flush against mine. I could feel the muscles in his arms and chest but tried not to think about it as I looked away. My breath caught and my heart skipped a beat when he whispered in my ear.
"Come on. It'll be fun…and I promise not to bite," shivers raced down my spine at his proximity and it was all I could do to nod my head, not trusting my voice to work.
He pulled away and led me by the hand to the middle of the dance floor, a smug grin firmly in place. Now that I think about it I could never picture L jumping around crazily like most of the dancers were doing. And he didn't. No matter how fast or hard the beat of the music was he kept up a slow pace. Rubbing up against my front, teasing me mercilessly. The worst part…I liked it. I was enjoying him doing this to me! It was wrong! It …it was… I had to get out of here! This was going way beyond anything I had ever expected. Some fresh air would do me the world of good.
"I'm going outside to cool down," without waiting for him to say anything I was gone, weaving through the crowds towards the door that would take you out into the gardens that were smack dab in the middle of the building. The crisp night air and the full moon seemed to ground me.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when arms slid round my waist. Twisting I watched L as he started to nuzzle his way up my neck.
"Just give us a try…nothing serious. What's the harm?"
'What's the harm indeed,' I thought bitterly as I adjusted my tie again. Only me having a broken heart.
You see I'd agreed to give us a chance and it had all been fun, nothing serious. However, I hadn't expected to fall for him, fast and hard. We spent so much time together that it happened naturally, without me even having a say. What makes it worse is that I was completely blind, not even noticing it till it was too late.
We'd been making dinner in the kitchen and I was so engrossed in watching him that when the thought, 'I love him so much,' popped into my head, I cut my finger open in surprise. Where the hell had it came from? In a daze I'd watched amazed as he came to check that I was okay. When had this happened? Why hadn't I been informed…this was only supposed to be some fun! What the hell was I going to do…did he maybe feel the same way?
I hate love. I never asked to love him and he obviously didn't want it from me. And now it hurt. Not just a physical or emotional hurt, it was soul deep. So bad it was all I could do not to cry. I'd told him. It had been an accident, I wasn't planning on doing it, the words just slipped out.
We'd been lying on the couch watching a movie and I'd been falling asleep. My defenses had been lowered and I muttered it without thinking. Immediately L had sprang up, knocking me onto the floor and effectively waking me up.
"Don't say that!" he'd glared down at me and I'd scrambled to get up.
"I- I didn't-" but the words stuck in my throat. I couldn't lie to him and he knew it.
"This was just supposed to be some fun," he paced back and forth for a couple of seconds before seeming to come to some sort of decision. "I'm leaving next week anyway. Back to work…but I don't think you should come round here any more. You need space to get over this."
"But-" Shaking his head he stalked into the bedroom as I felt the worst pain imaginable. Blindly I stumbled from the room. I don't remember how I got home, I don't really care either. The next months all seemed to blend together as I licked my wounds, met Scarlett and somehow- I'm not exactly sure of the details- ended up engaged to be married.
She's walking down the aisle towards me and she truly is beautiful, it's just a shame I don't really appreciate it. There weren't any people here, just our immediate family and a few close friends. She looked so happy, I wish I'd never proposed…what possessed me? And then I couldn't take it back. Not that I would have been happy. Okay, she's standing right next to me, keep calm, breath, it's only marriage. And the worst possible mistake of my life.
My eyes were fixed on the door to the side, just over her head. I couldn't look at her. I was the only one who noticed when the door opened a crack, L sticking his head out and motioning for me to follow him. My heart rate increased and I'd swear it was going to jump right out of my chest. All at the sight of seeing him. I'd missed him so much.
I hadn't even noticed that Id started to move until Scarlett's hand stopped me, confused eyes trying to read my face.
"I need a second," I got out and hurried away as muttering broke out behind me. The door was locked as soon as I was through it. "What are you doing here?"
"You're making a mistake," that was all he said and I nearly laughed. Did he honestly think I didn't know that? "Throwing your life away."
"She loves me," it was true and the only thing I could think to say.
"That's the only reason you're marrying her." He knew, of course he did. Why was he able to read me so well? "I don't think you should."
"We could make it work," I muttered. "We can be content."
"Why be content when you can be happy…with me?" Was he- did he mean what I thought he did? "I've moved back for awhile and after you could travel and work with me…have a good life."
"I-I can't- how can I trust you? How do I know I won't get hurt again?" the words had been blurted out and I couldn't take them back. I wouldn't have anyway.
"Because I love you."