Author's Note: This is a one-shot about Spike's thoughts before he dies. So, I hope you enjoy it! Also there are small hints of Faye/Spike.
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop.
FADE
It was all over. He had killed Vicious. The enemy had been defeated. However, the girl was out of his reach and with his wounds there would be no riding off into the sunset.
Wasn't there supposed to be closure? He didn't feel it, if there was. The truth was that he wasn't ready to go. He had awakened from the dream to realize his reality.
Somehow it hurt. Knowing there'd be no returning. He had always joked about it. And here it was happening. He wouldn't wake up on the Bebop all wrapped up. With Faye sitting close to make a snide comment to hide her worry. Because there would be no tomorrow.
He'd never have bell peppers and beef without the beef again. That meant no more chats with Jet. He'd miss them. A lot of them were almost enlightening, like Jet was clueing Spike in on something. Something that shouldn't just be said, but figured out by oneself.
Even though he hated kids and animals, he'd miss Ed and Ein too. It was fun watching Ein trot around being chased by Ed. Ed was usually the comic relief. Especially when she was bugging 'Faye-Faye'. Meeting her father had certainly been a venture. He had hoped they'd come back, so he could properly say goodbye.
Not that he hadn't screwed up his goodbyes. The untouchable shrew woman could give you a first hand account.
This was the subject he'd been trying to avoid. Death was looming over him, so why not?
He had been trying to avoid that confrontation. When he was on the Bebop talking to Jet there was no sign of her. He thought that he was in the clear. Yes, he knew it was wrong not to say goodbye. If she did find him, there would be things said and done that he'd regret later.
One thing he had done was break her heart.
He hadn't meant to, but one look in her eyes told that there would be no avoiding it. She had told him that she had gotten her memories back. Her voice told everything: they were worthless. Childhood laughter would only mock her. After what? Fifty years, her home would be gone. So would all her family. He knew what being alone was like and it wasn't a tea party.
Before he left he told her that he was going to find out if he was alive. He knew full well that he'd die in the process. Then she started crying. It completely threw him off. She wasn't supposed to cry; not for him. Not for anyone. Walking into the darkness of the hall he turned to watch her. She slid down the wall and raised a hand to her face. Her silent tears hit him...hard.
Now he was limping down the stairs of the syndicate. Guns were pointed at him. Their shots would be wasted, he was already a goner.
Last words are supposed to be meaningful, right? He couldn't really think of anything profound. Might as well tell them who won. Raising one hand with all the strength he could summon he shaped it into a gun,
"Bang."
He couldn't hold himself up anymore. So he opted for collapsing. His last thoughts were mostly happy. Faye's crying form kept appearing. Her victory smirk after an argument was the last thing he saw. It left a small smile on his face.
In the end it all faded away.
Author's Note: I hoped you like and thanks for reading. Please review is you have the time. Thanks!