Love Letters
It's days like these when I pity that poor pelican. But then again, she only has to carry the mail; I'm the one it's addressed to and therefore I'm the one who actually has to spend hours going through it.
At least I feel loved.
I guess it's time to settle in for the long haul. I can probably get most of it replied to by morning, catch a nap and be out and about by the early afternoon. Mindful of the tedium of hours and hours of writing shadowing the pleasure in my friends' words, I think I'll retreat to bed to cover these. It's far more comfortable there.
…
First letter. Postmarked out of Geo, Dryad Day, a week ago.
Niccolo. Ah huh… lucre, art, smiles… uh… I, um, no… I'll just… have to think on this one a while.
…
Okay… next. Lessee… Postmarked out of Etansel, Undine Day, Dudbear Overnight Express.
Etansel…? What the he…
Oh, it's from Elazul… Okay, Okay… That makes sense, I guess.
Pearl, Blackpearl, Alex… Clarius, Lucidia, etc… Huh. Poor kid, sounds like he's having a tough ti… Oh dear Goddess. … Jeez, you cry at someone's genocide and suddenly he thinks you're joined for life.
I'll deal with this one later.
…
Unmarked. That's odd, I wonder…
Bud. … Ick. I need to get that kid back to school, where he can develop natural attractions to people his own age.
Moving on.
…
Lumina, few days old….
Gilbert. Whence did Gilbert get my address?
…Ugh! 'Baby' yourself, Hooves.
Maybe I should just file a change of address. I hear the Grottoes are nice this time of year….
…
Etansel, again. But almost two weeks old…
… Please don't be Elazul, I don't think I could stand a second dose of that… that…
Pearl. Phew. And I was worried about what?
… Eek. Sorry, sweet-pea, but no. Just no.
…
White Forest. Oooh, it's from Sierra.
… She wants to… what? Girl, we've got a perfectly good friendship going, I'm not about to get involved in… that.
I'd better ask Larc about this, I'm sure he'll know what to do.
…
Oh, speak of the devil…
… Damn. There goes that idea. Down boy, bad doggy!
…
The Grottoes. Salamando Day. Ah, must be Daena.
… Oooki. The pile.
…
…
There's got to be something in this pile that's not a proposition. I mean, come on….
Okay, let me see…
…
Geo. A full month old, Undine day.
Sotherbee. Oh no, not him too!
"Thank you for your contribution to the Gallery. We've displayed your statue in our main hall, and hope you come and visit us someday."
… Oh … That's not so bad.
…
Lumina. Recent.
"…Dubababa Dubba Dubba Dub."
Gak. In the pile you go.
…
Polpota post…. Ah, Elle.
Hmm.… Next please.
…
Domina. Oh, this one is from today.
Duelle. Adventure, hoping for…
I will never think of onions in the same way again.
…
From the desk of Inspector Boyd. Why, Hello Inspector, how nice of you to drop me a not…
… Ah, Well, I'll get back to you… just after everyone else.
…
Junkyard Hills… Pavlov.
I don't even need to open this one for it to go to the pile.
…
Gato, again… Also Salamando….
Oh. Escad.
… Whoa …
So that's how all his energy is spent when it's not going to fighting the fae.
… I'll… um… get back to him later.
…
Professor Bomb, huh?
Golems, Pavlov, Louie… "Let me blow your…."
… Now that's just plain wrong.
…
Huh. Etansel. Again?
Lady Blackpearl. Thank the Goddess, she'll have some sanity to share, I'm sure.
… Yikes. Uhm… yeah, okay… a little over the top, thank you.
…
Dare I even bother continuing? There's still a ton left and if it all goes on like this. I mean, who knew I was carrying on with some kind of invisible aphrodisiac glued to my forehead?
… I suppose one more couldn't hurt.
… Oh Holy Mana! That's just… Okay, I'm leaving. Lessee, the Norn Peaks are nice… nice and secluded.
"Lil' Cactus, We're going on vacation. Pack your pot – I've no time to lose."
"Vacation!"
The End (?)
Working Title: Letters
Inspiration: Contemplating the need for romance vs. the need for gen in the fandom world.
Noteworthy: I enjoyed writing this a little too much. I loved the sheer silly of it.
Disambiguation: First person, stream of consciousness... but I think that's pretty evident. Can be read from the Hero or the Heroine's PoV, as you please.
Derivative work of material © Squaresoft, Square Enix. Reformatted to abide by 'site standards. None of the original text has been modified, 'cept in case of typo.