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Chapter 1
Rated M for later chapters.

I do not own BLEACH. This fic is purely out of hobby and my love for this pairing.
This is my first fic, so please bare with me~! _
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Gentle Snow

The sun was bright, too bright as if it was it's mission to burn my eyes out from it's socket and drained the liquid out of by body. After spending most of the day outdoor, settling some errands as lieutenant of the mighty 10th Squad, my limbs are heavy and I do not feel like leaving the comfy sofa I that I love so much. Thinking back, I might be too used of being the couch potato in the office, until when there are times I needed to really 'be' a lieutenant, I tend to get easily exhausted. There was a monthly assembly this morning, then a kidou proficiency test for the unseated squad members at the doujo which ended slightly before 4pm.

The female shinigami club meeting was next and thanks to the president Yachiru-chan, it end up with an unsettled debate about the best way human female celebrate their new year in the human world.

"They must be celebrating with everything sweet, lots and lots of cakes and candies!" Yachiru barked with a grin.

"I don't think that's right. They usually do that on birthdays or Valentine. They might just take stay at home and watch TV." Soi Fon protested. She have some knowledge on human customs since her idol Yoruichi sometimes share stories Urahara had told to her.

"Or go out and celebrate with friends and family. Picnic or something like that." Unohana Taichou spoke sweetly, while stroking her precious pony tail.

"That sounds boring~! When the new year comes, the human world will celebrate with countdowns, concerts and gatherings in cities all over the world. I reckon if they have boyfriend, or husband they will go out on a date, dining and…watch…hanabi.." the last few words came out slowly as I was tasting them in my mouth for the first time. All eyes was on me the moment I finished the sentences. Yachiru, whom was already irritated as her opinion were denied several times gave a mocking face, "Oh really? How you came to know that?" I found it hard to reply, as I have no idea where that came from either.

"er…I…" My throat felt dry. "I remembered talking about this with Rukia-chan, when I was there at the human world with her during one of my missions". I'm not sure if I just lied, or if that really happened. I have no explanation to how I got to blurt those details to them, so I guess I must have talked or read about it while I was there myself. The room fell silent as they watched me, some with interest, and a few with envy.

Yachiru still was not satisfied (I do not even know why she was so into this topic), but as she was just opening her mouth to speak, a rare voice rang. "We might just ask Rukia-san when she came back. Among all of us, she knew the human world the most". All eyes shifted to the figure where the voice came from, the usually silent, reserved Nemu.

I now remembered why we discussed this in the first place. Most of us find that human world is full of interesting stuff. Though most of us do not express this, everyone hope that their name will be included in the next mission to the human world. So far Rukia got to travel there the most, followed by me, the 2nd most frequent. Rukia was not in today, as she was sent there 2 days earlier to join a mission with Ichigo. Everyone know that whenever there was a mission related to Ichigo, Rukia will high likely be summoned to join him. The fact that she is out in a mission there and could not make it to the meeting, plus tomorrow will be the day a new human year begin, is the main reason we aimlessly discussed about this. We are obviously jealous.

The meeting ended in an hour and a half, and I slowly dragged myself to office, with my head still trying to find the source of my speech about new year celebration. I arrived at the office and found that my taichou was not in. as I felt exhausted, I lie down on the sofa and drifted to sleep, until now…

Blinking once, twice…and just when I was about to doze off again, a voice, low yet sharp stopped me from continuing my slumber.

"No more, Matsumoto. Wake up". I flinched a bit to the voice, as I was expecting a harsher tone and and high volume from my captain as always, but his voice was soft and less demanding instead. I open my eyes slowly, and try to follow his presence at the corner of my eye without moving an inch. My sight is blocked by the sofa, but I can imagine him on his chair, focused and arched forward. Only a little of his spiky hair should be visible behind a tall stack of paperwork in which, half of them are supposedly assigned to me.

Is something wrong?, I wonder. I stay at the sofa for a couple more seconds, with my mind repeating my captain's call just now like a tape recorder. Its nothing special, just his tone was different than the usual. Well, he might be as exhausted as I am, as he was with me through the day's event (expect for the girl's meeting, of course). With a little guilt for selfishly napping during work (not that I'm not use to it anyway…) I slowly rise from the sofa, tucking my uniform in place, then slowly turn my head toward his desk.

The view made me skip a heart beat. He was there alright, yet he looked like his mind was drifting somewhere else. He lean on his chair, both hands drape loosely on his lap, and his head tilted to the side, staring to nothing. My eyes try to find his, but his gaze to nothingness look so empty, and sad.

That is not my captain. My mind protest.

"T…Taichou?"

No answer…not a single muscle twitched.

"Tai…chou!"

"Huh?" He blinked. As he was sleeping with his eyes open, there was a jolt of movements before he shake his head to the sides. Another heart beat missed to the view in front of me, he just look so innocent and cute right now, I can't help but to laugh. First a slow giggle, then the laugh burst until my shoulders shaking uncontrollably. He throw a sharp glance at me, crossing his arms like a boss. "What's so funny, Matsumoto?" his glare stay sharp. "And you really had a nice, sweet nap there dont'cha?"

Erk…now that's my captain. I can hear my mind giggling.

The laugh subside, and I work my way towards his table while keeping my eye to his. I can see his frown still tight on his face, so I figured he might need a nap himself, or something relaxing to ease his tense and tire. "Daijoubu, taichou?" My eyes still on his. He break the eye contact and look away. "Nothing for you to worry about." Not convinced, I move closer and try to ask more. "But, taichou..I am your lieutenant, its only natural that I.."

"I SAID there nothing for you to worry about, so stop it will ya!" I winced to the sudden outburst. The sound of the thump he made on the desk with his knuckle was like thunder, and it shook my senses. Yeah, this is my captain. He will always block other from parrying his personal emotions and thoughts. He always want to keep his feelings to himself, as if keeping his heart away from other's to reach.

I've been working with him, sharing the same space and time together for quite some time. Usually this will be enough for 2 person to built some trust among each other, to be a little closer. But no, not for him I guess. Maybe..maybe he see me as nothing more than a subordinate. Maybe I am not the kind of person he can be comfortable with. Maybe…maybe he could not bring myself to trust me enough to let me see his true emotions, hidden behind his serious face and remote nature.

I can say nothing more. I can't help but to feel disappointed, as all I did was out of my concern for his odd behavior just now. I absent-mindedly let out a sigh, and walk to the pantry. I'm tired, I do not have a mood to argue with him over petty things like this. Without me realizing, his eyes followed me to the pantry door. It was not a glare, but a soft, watching pair of eyes, painted with a hint of guilt. We both stay silent, as both of us do not want the gloomy atmosphere to get even gloomier…

I took a few minutes in the pantry, and I walk back towards his desk. He looked like he is busy reading over the piece of report paper on his hands, but I noticed that he have just moved his glance from the pantry door when he realized that I'm about to walked out. I also noticed that he try to make him look busy and occupied, and for that, I can't help but to smile.

Gently, I place his favorite cup, careful enough to leave adequate space for his hand movements. He seemed surprised, and this time I know that it's a genuine reaction. His pupils dilated as he slightly open his mouth, but he decided not to make a sound, as I grab a handful of reports, and make my way back to the sofa. He watch the cup as puffs of green tea steam escape the opening. I silently start reading the sheets one by one, while occasionally sipping my own cup. Ah, refreshing…, my mind mused. I hope this can help taichou to ease a bit as well.

"Gomene…"

I really think that I'm hearing things. I stop reading for a few seconds, and back to the reports again. I then heard a sigh.

"Gomene, Matsumoto…", now with a tone which stressed the fact that he actually mean it.

"Huh?" I turn my head. "What is that for, taichou?" I just could not believe what I just heard.
He reply with a much calmer, lower tone. "I've been harsh just now. I don't mean to be rude." He look at me, with a slight blush, and then turn away. My face is burning, I found that the warmth of his apologetic look seemed odd and, sweet. I do not know how to respond.

"I…well…ahahaha! Don't worry about that taichou! It's no big deal!" I giggled, and then silence. This is odd…I want to joke this awkward feeling out, as I usually did, but its too…too awkward. His sincerity that linger around his voice and words seemed overwhelming. It won't feel that way if it comes from other people, like Abarai-kun or Izuru-kun. For this simple words and feelings to came from a very reserved person, from her own taichou especially, its amazing.

"Well, it's been a busy day. I guess we are both stressed out." He starts to stand off the seat. "I…think I want to go to the onsen now." He avoid my eyes. "You, wanna come?"

Okay, that's just it. He is a different person today. I always thought that I know him the best in Seireitei, but now I'm just clueless. Maybe, this is his way to 'open up'? Odd this may seem, but I like it. "Taichou…", I inhale, ready to take my risk to ask something more than he already offer. "Let's not go to the onsen", I can hear my hear beating my chest like a drum. "Its New Year's eve, and I'm thinking of…watching hanabi tonight."

Silence. Seconds of silence so torturing, it felt like hours. I just wish I can laugh at my pathetic self, turn around, and just run out of this truly weird situation. Now I realized, I'm not being myself either. I close my eyes, ready to excuse myself.

"Okay, I'll call Kurosaki." For the third time, my heart skipped a beat. I felt as I've been paralyzed. I can only watch my taichou's slight, very slight yet earnest smile.

This is my first attempt to publish a fanfiction. I hope this is not disgusting to read…/
They are my favorite Bleach pairing, so I hope I do not spoil them too much…
Will crack my head for more chapter soon.
Thanks for reading~!
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